by Claire Adams
His desire for me was evident in the way he looked at me, and of course, his raging erection. We had sex three times that night. I wasn’t a virgin, but I knew that wasn’t the norm. I remembered drifting off to sleep, only to be awoken in the middle of the night by his sweet kisses trailing down my neck and his hands moving between my thighs, his fingers gently caressing my naked sex, creating a firestorm of sensation in my body.
“Oh shit,” I murmured, after being jolted awake on the brink of an orgasm.
My body was tingling at the mere thought of Milo touching me. It had been a very real dream, and I blamed it all on Vanessa. She had stirred up thoughts and memories I had blocked for a long time. Seeing him was bringing all those things to the surface. The idea we could ever be together was ludicrous. Despite what Vanessa thought she saw, I knew the man was extremely pissed at me. She thought she saw lust, but I knew it was actually rage.
I closed my eyes, telling myself to get some sleep, but it wasn’t long before goosebumps broke out as I imagined his hard, calloused hands running over my skin.
“Dammit, Vanessa. I hate you,” I whispered into the dark room.
I was never going to get a good night’s sleep if I kept having wet dreams about a man I had no business lusting after. She had planted a seed in my head, and it was now lodged there, trying to sprout. It couldn’t. It would never work out.
“Argh!” I groaned, throwing the blankets off and sitting up.
I wasn’t going to get any sleep at this rate. I walked into the kitchen, grabbed a glass of water, and headed for the balcony. Miami was a busy city, but my apartment was off the beaten path. I couldn’t exactly see the ocean, but I could hear it sometimes if there weren’t any sirens or the sound of loud music polluting the air.
Sitting down in my patio chair, I leaned back and focused. In the distance, I could hear the waves rolling in and out. It was soothing and helped quiet all those dirty thoughts that had sprung to mind earlier. I hadn’t thought about Milo in a long time. I had refused to let myself imagine a life with him in it.
But he was back now. He knew Ainsley was his and he was going to be in my life one way or another. I would be seeing him frequently, like it or not. My dad was obviously fond of him. He always had been. I hoped the revelation that Milo fathered Ainsley wouldn’t ruin their relationship.
I could always move away. I knew Milo wasn’t going anywhere for the foreseeable future, especially now that he and my dad seemed to have found their stride and things were looking up where the team was concerned. I didn’t think I could handle seeing Milo splashed all over TV with different women or showing up to team functions with a bimbo on his arm. That would slowly kill me. My life in Miami had been great. This was where I had grown up, but now it all felt tainted. Tainted by my secrets and lies, and by Milo.
I shook my head and had to laugh a little at my predicament. One bad decision in a whole lifetime had led me to where I was today. It didn’t seem fair, but it was what it was. I had to find a way to make the best of it. That included telling my dad about that one fateful night. I hoped to gloss over the details. I knew my dad would be outraged and then hurt and then outraged again.
“Oh, what a tangled web we weave,” I whispered into the dark.
Chapter 16
Milo
“I said to run faster!” Coach yelled from the sidelines.
I felt like I would throw up. He was pushing us harder than he had ever pushed before. In my mind, I kept thinking, Hey, Coach, we won the game, remember? We played our asses off, and this was our reward for a good job? He was going to kill us.
We regrouped on the field, with all of us gasping for air, our shoulders slumped forward.
“What the hell?” I wheezed as we all gathered in a huddle.
“This is what he does?” someone gasped.
I shook my head. “Not that I ever remember. Who fucked up?”
We all looked at each other. No one admitting anything.
“Move!” the single word was screamed out.
We all burst into motion, going through the next set of drills. After another hour of brutal practice, we were finally given a reprieve.
As I started my way back into the locker room, I heard Coach chatting with one of the assistant coaches.
“I think we’re going to that new steakhouse,” he said.
I slowed my walk, purposefully eavesdropping.
“That sounds fancy,” the assistant commented.
Coach laughed. “I’m paying, so of course she picked a fancy restaurant,” he joked. “I’m wondering if she’s going to tell me she has a boyfriend.”
I almost choked but didn’t want to let on I was listening.
“Why doesn’t she have a boyfriend? Hell, why isn’t she married?”
I waited, holding my breath. It was a question I had been mulling over for a while.
“I don’t know. I think Ainsley’s father must have done a number on her. She won’t talk about it, and I never pressure her for information. I don’t care who he is. I got a gorgeous little granddaughter out of the deal, so it’s fine with me.”
I’d heard all I needed to hear. I picked up the pace and headed for my locker. Coach didn’t know. At that moment, I thought that was a very good thing. Man, we thought he’d busted our asses today, I couldn’t imagine what he’d do when he did find out. Maybe I should call Liza and tell her to skip that part of our arrangement.
No. I couldn’t be a coward. I had done the deed; now it was time to pay the piper. Once it was out in the open, I could get started building a relationship with Ainsley. That was all that mattered. I would take whatever Coach Summers dealt out. I deserved it. I had behaved irresponsibly. My only hope was that I wouldn’t lose my deal. I wanted to play ball, and I wanted to do it with Coach Summers.
While I changed, I heard Coach telling the physical therapist about his dinner plans. The man was really excited. I had a feeling it was also the high of winning yesterday as well, but he was never going to admit it. He didn’t want to give us big heads or make us think we were actually as good as we hoped.
I showered and headed out to my rented car. I had made the decision to go car shopping that week. It was just not something I enjoyed. As I walked out, I saw Liza getting out of her car. She was parked next to the coach’s truck.
I walked towards her. I could tell by her body language she wasn’t happy to see me. Out of respect, I lifted my dark sunglasses so I could look her in the eye.
“Hey,” I said, not really knowing what else to say.
“Hey,” she said, moving a few feet away. Clearly, she didn’t want to be seen talking to me. Too bad.
“I take it tonight’s the big night?”
“Excuse me?” she said irritably.
“Your dad has been talking about your dinner tonight. He’s been gushing about it all through practice, at least when he wasn’t screaming at us to push harder. Anyway, I assumed you were going to tell him tonight.”
She put a hand on her hip. “We have dinner every Monday night. It isn’t newsworthy.”
“Liza, I said I would wait for you to tell him. I’m not going to wait forever. If you don’t tell him tonight, you’re going to force my hand.”
She heaved a sigh. “I will. I am going to tell him tonight, but that’s not the point. Don’t you dare threaten me.”
“I’m not threatening you,” I protested.
She scoffed. “Force your hand? What the hell is that if not a threat?”
“Oh, well, sorry. Dammit, Liza, you threw a huge wrench in my life, right out of the blue. I’m dealing with it the best way I can. I flip-flop between being super pissed at you to wanting a repeat of that night,” I blurted out.
“No! Don’t you dare bring that up.”
I smirked. “Why not? You didn’t like it?” I said, leaning closer to her.
“You’re a pig,” she spat, but I could tell I was getting to her.
I chuckled and pulled my sunglasses ba
ck down to shade my eyes.
“I want to see my daughter. I want to take her to the park and Disney World and buy her birthday presents and do the things a dad does with his daughter,” I rambled. I knew I sounded crazy, but I needed her to know how important it was to me.
“You’re getting way ahead of yourself, Milo. That is not going to happen anytime soon. I don’t know you well enough to send my daughter off with you.”
“Uh, she’s my daughter, too. I didn’t know you all that well when you took off with her,” I shot back.
She sighed and shook her head. “That’s not even the same thing.”
“It actually is.”
“Leave me alone. I said I would tell him. Then, we’ll talk.”
“This better not be a stall tactic. I can’t keep waiting. I’ve lost too much time already. I can’t explain what that feels like. I never would have known about her if your dad hadn’t called me back here. If you didn’t want me to know, I think you could have persuaded your dad to go with someone else.”
She laughed. “You obviously don’t know my dad.”
“I do, and I know this is all a bullshit excuse. I know your dad loves you and wouldn’t care about your past sins. Quit fucking stalling!”
“Back off, Milo,” she shot back, pulling her shoulders back. “I’m not stalling. I told you I wouldn’t upset him before the game. This is the first chance I’ve had.”
I held up a hand. “Fine, but if it doesn’t happen tonight, I won’t wait. I’ll have the lawyer start the paperwork.”
“I get it. Now stop threatening me!” she shrieked.
I looked around the parking lot, making sure no one was watching.
“You know what?” I started. “I’ve been extremely patient. What you did to me, to our daughter, was wrong. I don’t care if you found me in bed with twenty women; you still should have told me. You could have sent me a letter, took out an ad in the paper, or shouted it from the rooftop. Do you think I would have cared who knew? You are obviously the one who is embarrassed.”
Her mouth dropped open. “I don’t, I didn’t,” she stammered, waving her hand about. “It isn’t like that.”
“It is, and you did. You’re embarrassed, aren’t you? I’m not exactly chopped liver, princess.”
“What is it you think I’m embarrassed about?”
“You slept with the quarterback in college. You, Little Miss Perfect, came out of her ivory tower and crawled into bed with the biggest player on campus. The coach’s daughter sullied herself. The girl who never partied or did anything even slightly edgy… or fun for that matter. You don’t want your dear old daddy to know you got down and dirty with one of his players,” I seethed.
I had always suspected she thought she was better than me, than all of us, but now I knew. The way she was stalling said it all. All my life, I’d been the poor kid no one wanted to be friends with. Football was all I had. I had to buck the system to manage to stay in one high school for two seasons just so I could prove myself. When I got the scholarship, I had set my sights high.
“Milo, I’m not embarrassed because it was you. I’m embarrassed because I did something completely reckless. My dad expects better of me,” she said in a low voice. “It’s not about you.”
“Did you ever go out with any of the guys on the team?” I asked, an idea springing to mind.
She shrugged, looking a little uncomfortable. “A couple.”
I smirked. “So, I’m assuming your dad knew about those dates.”
“Yes, he knew,” she said sheepishly.
I nodded. My point had been made. It was me. She didn’t want her dad to know about me. I could admit I didn’t have the best reputation back then, but I knew Coach well enough to know he would never hold Ainsley’s unfortunate parentage against her.
“Tonight. Or I start the paperwork.”
She turned to leave, and I grabbed her arm. Not hard, but firm enough for her to realize I wasn’t playing.
“Liza, don’t make this worse than it is. Your dad and I have a good relationship. He obviously loves your daughter—our daughter. This isn’t going to change anything.”
“Let go of me,” she yanked her arm out of my grip.
“Please,” I pleaded, knowing I was giving her all the power.
She turned back to me, pushed her sunglasses up and looked at me. I quickly pushed up my own sunglasses and looked into her eyes. I could see the dark circles under her eyes and realized that was why she had kept the glasses on.
“I didn’t tell him because it didn’t matter then. You weren’t going to be around. Yes, I am ashamed of my actions. I will tell him tonight but let me try and help you understand something. Don’t threaten me. Don’t push me. I don’t care what you tell your lawyer or a judge. I will fight you, and I am confident I will win. Back off.”
I nodded. I would back off. For now.
“Bye, Liza,” I said and walked away.
She was the one who had to tell her dad, but I was the one who felt nervous as hell. I had no idea what his reaction would be, but I knew he would have a lot of questions. I hoped Liza would make sure he knew the circumstances. I didn’t mind the horrible reputation that preceded me, but I wouldn’t accept being tagged as a deadbeat dad. I wasn’t, and I never would be.
No matter how this all turned out, I would make damn sure my daughter knew I didn’t abandon her. I would spend every penny I had to ensure she knew me. I didn’t care what Liza thought.
I got in my car and took several long deep breaths. That night had been like so many others during my very wild college days. Liza had certainly been more memorable. . It didn’t seem right that something so good would only happen once. The woman was defiant. She didn’t care who I was. I liked that she was willing to stand up to me. I liked her. I wished she would give me a chance to prove I wasn’t the man people talked about.
Slow down, turbo.
Before I could even think about all that, I had to prove I was worthy of being a father to our daughter. Threatening Liza probably wasn’t the best way to do that, but I needed her to know I was serious. If I didn’t fight for my daughter, she would know that I wasn’t good enough to see the child. It was a means to an end.
Chapter 17
Liza
I managed to walk into the sports complex, going to the public portion instead of going through the locker room. I had no idea how many men were still in there, and I wasn’t going to risk walking in on naked men, especially after the conversation I just had with Milo. The man managed to get under my skin every time. It wasn’t just what he said. It was everything about him. Then, he had the audacity to bring up our night together.
How dare he? That was rude and crass. The man was disgusting. I rubbed a hand through my hair. He wasn’t disgusting, but dammit, he should have better manners than to bring that up.
“Shit, shit, shit,” I mumbled under my breath as I stood in front of one of the large windows facing the parking lot.
I could see him in his car. He was just sitting there. I knew I had to tell my dad tonight, no matter what. Milo wasn’t blowing smoke. He was serious. He would sic his lawyer on me and it would blow up in the papers. My little girl would get dragged into it in no time. Everyone knew her already because of all the time she spent in front of the camera with my dad. I could only imagine what people would say to her.
I couldn’t let that happen. As much as I was dreading telling my dad, I knew it was for the best.
“Shit, shit, shit,” I repeated.
“I’m going to get a bar of soap and wash that mouth out, young lady. What’s got you in such a tizzy?”
Stunned, I spun around and faced my dad. “Nothing. I forgot something at school is all. No big deal.”
He eyed me suspiciously. “Okay, well why don’t you go back and get it?”
I waved a hand. “It’s fine. Are you ready?”
“I am. Is Ainsley with Vanessa?” he asked, as we walked out to the parking lot.
> “Yep. Just me and you tonight,” I said, with a fake cheeriness.
He drove us to the steakhouse, and I decided liquid courage was the way to go. I briefly remembered using that same crutch five years ago, which led me to where I was now, but I didn’t care.
We ordered a bottle of wine, and I didn’t wait for it to be poured. Filling my glass, I started drinking.
“You going to tell me what’s got you so upset? And don’t say it’s nothing, because I know you too well to buy that. Just tell me, what’s going on?”
I took another long drink from my wine glass. “I have to tell you something.”
He nodded. “Okay. What? I can handle it.”
I smirked. I almost wanted a camera running so I could record this moment in my life. The moment I crushed my dad’s image of me. The moment I disappointed him and tarnished that perfectly cultivated image I had always projected. He was going to see I wasn’t quite as perfect as he thought.
Staring at the wine glass in my hand, I just blurted it out.
“Milo is Ainsley’s father.”
I heard the breath whoosh out of his lungs. I looked up in time to see the true shock on his face and felt like a complete failure. I now knew what it looked like to let my father down.
“What?” his voice was raspy.
I watched as his face paled even more. The man had a permanent tan from his many hours in the Florida sun, but not now. Now, he looked as if he was going to be sick. I suddenly wondered if this news could cause him to have a heart attack. I would never forgive myself if that happened.
“Dad?”
He leaned back in his chair and picked up the napkin off the table. He dabbed at his forehead and then his neck before taking a drink of water. I watched as he glanced around the room. The man was very recognizable. I knew he was looking to make sure no one had heard what I said or witnessed his response.