Nobody Else

by Jaxson Kidman

  Kinsley laughed and sighed. “I still can’t believe he almost died.”

  “I can’t believe you didn’t call me sooner. I know I was never close to him or anything…”

  “It wasn’t easy,” she said.

  “I’m sure it wasn’t. How are you? How are things?”

  “Do you really want me to answer that?”

  “Not really. I’m just trying to find any excuse to keep you on the phone. Without talking about the past.”

  “I can tell you about the dog I neutered today.”

  “Oh, don’t do that. You just made me wiggle in my seat.”

  She laughed. “I like talking to you, Brice. I miss talking to you.”

  “Well, you know what I’m going to say to that, right?”

  “I don’t know. What?”

  “You’re the one who set the rules for us,” I said.

  “And you’re following them.”

  “Yeah, I am, Kins. I am.”

  The conversation felt like it was about to go over a cliff. My phone vibrated, and I saw another number calling me. I normally wouldn’t bother with a number I didn’t know, but…

  “Hey, love, someone else is calling me,” I said. “I should probably take the call.”

  “Yeah. Of course. Thank you again for everything with Kyle. Now if you could only get him to find a job, find a woman, and move out…”

  “That’s a tall order.”

  “It was worth a shot. I’ll talk to you later.”

  “Bye, Kins,” I whispered.

  I switched to the other call, my heart heavier than before. I would never in my life love someone the way I loved Kinsley.

  “Who is this?” I asked, taking the call.

  “Oh, Mr. Serious and Deep Voice,” June’s voice said through the phone.

  I cringed for a second. “June. What’s going on?”

  “We need to talk.”

  “So, talk.”

  “In person.”

  “For what?”

  “Brice… we need to talk.”

  I sighed. “Okay. Where are you? I’ll come to you.”

  “No. I’ll come to you.”

  My mind thought of June in my cabin. The way I felt. The way she lived life. That was dangerous.

  “No, we’ll meet somewhere,” I said.

  “The bar you work at.”

  “A bar? Are you serious?”

  “I can handle it,” she said. “I’ll prove it to you. Meet me there in twenty minutes.”

  The call went dead and I gritted my teeth.

  Talking to Kinsley was heaven and talking to June was hell.

  And I was stuck in between.

  “Another diet soda?” June asked with her forever pretty smile.

  That was maybe the worst part about June. She was naturally pretty, and it never faded. No matter how messed up she got. Even taking her to rehab, she looked good. And now she glowed more than normal and was… bubbly.

  “Yeah, I’ll get you another,” I said.

  I walked from the table to the bar.

  Lucky met me with an eyebrow raised. “She can pound the diet sodas, huh?”

  “Better than something else,” I said.

  “And you’re drinking soda too.”

  “Don’t tell anyone and ruin my reputation,” I said.

  “She a date?”

  “Used to be.”

  “Christ, I wish I lived your life,” Lucky said. “The women you parade around.”

  “Now hold up,” I said. “Two women. One I love. One I wish would disappear.”

  “I can guess which is which,” Lucky said.

  He put the sodas in front of me.

  I walked to the table.

  June quickly slithered her quick tongue around the straw of her drink as she stared at me with those wild eyes of hers.

  “It’s good to see you like this,” I said. “Sober. Drinking diet soda.”

  “I’m doing good, Brice. I swear.”

  “I believe you.”

  “I owe a lot to you.” She reached across the table and I pulled my hand away. She laughed. “Look, I’m happy with someone else. I’m not here to try and get in your pants.”

  “Well, that’s good to know.”

  “I wanted to talk to you. Last time with April got tense.”

  “She’s done a lot for you.”

  “She does a lot for herself too. Miss Goody Goody Girl.”

  “June…”

  “Right. Sorry.” June rolled her eyes.

  “You know, me and her rearranged a lot to help Milo. And you.”

  “So how many times have you fucked my sister?”

  “Zero,” I said.

  “Bullshit.”

  “Why does it interest you?”

  “I don’t know. My sister could stand to get laid. But by you… she wouldn’t know what to do.”

  I gritted my teeth. “Did you really want me to meet you to talk about April’s sex life?”

  “Actually, no. I don’t give a shit about her vagina.”

  I cringed. “Christ, June. You still have no filter.”

  “Nope.”

  “So, what did you want from me?”

  “Tell me about Milo.”

  “What about him?”

  “Everything. I’m… I know I really fucked everything up.”

  I sat there, stone-faced, not allowing myself to fall for her shit.

  She blinked to work up tears.

  “You’re not going to say anything to that?”

  “Do I have to?” I asked. “I know what you did.”

  “I just want to know he’s okay.”

  “He’s fine. He’s a great kid. He’s smart. He plays sports. He listens.”

  “He had a good Christmas and everything?”

  “Yeah, he did,” I said. “Your sister has been busting her ass to take care of him.”

  “And you too.”

  “Yeah.”

  “You really live here, huh?”

  “I work at this bar, June. I grabbed the first job I could find. I bought a small cabin in the woods. I help April anytime she needs me. I coached Milo’s soccer team. He’s a great kid. Considering where he came from.”

  “I know I’m a shitty person,” June said. “But I went through rehab. I’m clean. I have a boyfriend.”

  “A job?”

  “Working on that. I work part-time at a little restaurant.”

  “Serving drinks?”

  “Yeah.”

  “That’s dangerous.”

  “I have a sponsor, too,” she said. “Someone I can call at any time.”

  “That’s great. If I strip away all the terrible shit you did, I’m proud of you.”

  “I need your help.”

  “With what?”

  “Milo.”

  “June…”

  “He’s my fucking son. I gave birth to him.”

  “You also left him in the ladies’ room one night while you got high. I found him in the corner, crying his eyes out with these fucking junkie whores all around him, saying how cute he was. In the middle of a goddamn city, June. Do you know what could have happened to him?”

  “That was a different part of me. You let that happen too.”

  “I fucking picked him up and took him back to my apartment. I fed him and got him to sleep by lying and saying you had a meeting to go to.”

  “We loved each other like crazy,” June said. “And the crazy took over.”

  “The crazy is looking at me right now.”

  “Fuck you, Brice. You were lost too. Caught up on an old love of yours. I’m not stupid. I was just someone to hold when you wanted to hold someone and someone to fuck when you got hard.”

  I gritted my teeth. “Yeah, I was fucking lost too, June. But I didn’t put a child in harm’s way.”

  “He’s my kid,” she said.

  “Now you say that, right?”

  “Are you going to help me or not?”

  “Wi
th what?”

  “I want to be a mom. I am a mom. I want to be a good mom.”

  I laughed. “And how am I supposed to help with that?”

  “April is such a bitch.”

  “She’s not a bitch. She cares. She worries. She thinks you’re going to show up and take Milo away.”

  “She would. Attention whore.”

  “Oh, I don’t think you want to go down that road, June. Attention whore? Have you looked in the mirror lately?”

  “I have,” she said. “And I see a sober woman. Someone who recognizes that she fucked up. And I want to make it right. I’m still his mother. No matter what anyone says.”

  “Then at the very least, start by giving credit to your sister. Know what she did for Milo. All the stuff you refused to do. Or couldn’t do. Face yourself in front of her, June. Show her you can be vulnerable.”

  “I’m not groveling. You don’t know what it was like living with her.”

  “I’ve heard it before, June. She was the good girl. You were the naughty girl. She got straight A’s. You got D’s and-”

  “Double D’s,” June said and wiggled her eyebrows.

  I laughed. “Yeah, right.”

  “You know mine are better than hers,” she said.

  “I’m not here to talk about that. Look at you. Do you even really care about Milo? Or is this a way to attack April?”

  “Fuck you,” June spat. She did a quick left to right look and grabbed her soda. She threw the glass right at me and stood up. “I’m leaving. I thought I could trust you.”

  Now I had all eyes on me.

  “Just get out of here,” I said. “You’ll never change.”

  “Eat dirt.”

  I stood up. “Hey, June. She’s better than you. In every way possible.”

  June’s eyes went wide, then she stormed out of the bar.

  I picked up the glass and carried it to the bar.

  “Refill?” Lucky asked.

  “Prick. Give me a damn towel. And a beer.”

  I turned and leaned against the bar.

  Everything was such a mess. Worse than I could possibly imagine.

  And all I wanted, more than anything, was to call Kinsley and shut the world out to be with her.

  18

  Comfortable and Quiet

  Kinsley

  I hadn’t talked to Ben in two days.

  He was back in Philly, trying to close a deal that he swore was going to take care of us for a long time. I didn’t know what that meant, and I didn’t need money as a way to be taken care of. For Ben, it was his way of finally justifying what happened to Chrissy and TJ. Truthfully, I hoped whatever deal he was about to land would go through. Maybe if he actually had a chance to sit there with enough money to survive for the rest of his life, he would realize that there was much more to life than what was around him.

  Our conversations were through text messages.

  My phone conversations… were with Brice. Just quick conversations. Two of them. That was it. And they were both about Kyle. That was it.

  After another long day at work, I went home to get changed and thought about bothering Linda. She wasn’t home though. Paige had some kind of soccer clinic that was being held at an indoor arena thirty minutes away.

  I didn’t want to be home alone.

  There was no way in hell I was going to call Brice either. I didn’t want to step back on things. A part of me really wanted things to work out with Ben. We had been together for a long time. Leaving our pasts behind for so long and now they were in the open. It was like a new relationship. Except we sort of knew all the tricks and quirks about the other person.

  As I sat in my SUV with the radio turned down to a murmur and the heat turned up because winter decided to come back with some really low temperatures, I stared at the house Ben bought… without telling me first. The house he bought to try and surprise me with. Instead of getting me flowers and going to look at houses for fun, he just bought a house. And it was fully furnished and ready to be lived in. Like stepping into someone else’s moment and living there.

  Back before I got pregnant, sometimes Brice and I would go to open houses for the hell of it. We’d get coffee and sandwiches for breakfast from our favorite place in town and then go to a bunch of open houses. Houses that would never fit into our budget. We’d go to look, laugh, make fun of the lavish features, and end up back home at our little rental house next to the horses where it was quiet, full of nature, and had the partially finished back porch where I loved to be.

  I smiled at the memory, reminding myself it was okay to have them. It was okay to think about those memories. That didn’t mean I wanted to go back to them and live there again. That was the past.

  On the way to my father’s house, I called and order pizza from Kyle’s favorite place. It wasn’t that my father was a bad cook, he just had three meals that were decent enough to be considered dinner. And anything outside of that was a risk. My father was the type to eat anything, whether it was good or bad.

  Plus, Kyle had been going to his appointments and who didn’t like a random pizza night? Yeah, I was ordering it mainly for myself as comfort food. Even though I refused to think about why I felt I needed comfort.

  When I pulled up to my father’s house, I was surprised by the amount of cars parked on the street. Then I saw the Mortson’s house across the street was all lit up. They must have been having a get together. Lucky for me, I was able to just park in the driveway. That was because Kyle no longer had a car.

  I carried the pizzas to the door and smiled as I knocked on it, rang the doorbell, knocked again, and rang the doorbell one more time. I imagined my father’s face, pissed off, as he charged at the door to figure out who the hell was making such a racket as he used to put it when me and Kyle were kids.

  The door opened, and Kyle stood there, leaning on one crutch.

  “Oh, shit, Kyle,” I said. “I’m sorry.”

  “Kinsley,” he said with a sly grin. “What are you doing here?”

  “My treat,” I said and lifted the pizza boxes. “Figured you were sick of Dad’s baked chicken.”

  “Oh, don’t bring that up,” Kyle said. “I don’t know what’s worse. The pain in my leg or having to shovel that dry ass chicken down my throat.”

  I laughed. “I’m sorry for knocking and ringing the doorbell. I thought Dad would answer.”

  “He’s inside having a beer or five.”

  “That kind of day?”

  “Tough life he lives,” Kyle said.

  I noticed he was still blocking the doorway.

  “Can I come in?” I asked. “Last time I checked, I grew up here.”

  “Yeah, sure,” he said. “You might, uh, want take a second and reconsider it though.”

  “Why?”

  “I’ll take the pizza, but you should probably take off,” he said.

  “Are you serious? Why? Is Dad having a poker game or something?”

  Kyle laughed. “Dad doesn’t gamble. He doesn’t even like when someone gives him lottery tickets for his birthday.”

  “So then why are you blocking me?” I asked him.

  He hobbled backward so I could enter the house.

  “How’s the leg?” I asked.

  “Kinsley, where’s Ben?” Kyle asked.

  “What? Why?”

  “You show up unannounced with pizza. And no Ben. Is everything okay?”

  “I’m asking you about your leg and you’re asking me…”

  My voice trailed off as my nose twitched. Something smelled familiar. I couldn’t figure it out right away though. But as I turned my head, I realized what was happening.

  “I tried to tell you,” Kyle whispered.

  “Hey, Kins…”

  Kyle slipped a hand under the pizza boxes. He was smart enough to know I was going to drop them.

  Brice was at my father’s house.

  “Brice,” I managed to say, but knew my voice was crackling and high pitched.
<
br />   I begged myself not to blush, do or say anything stupid. My mind flashed with the last images of Brice. Me standing on the porch to his cabin in the bitter cold air while he came after me, shirtless, to give me the ultrasound picture of Lindsay.

  I never showed Ben that ultrasound picture either. I had it tucked away in my nightstand.

  “I was just getting ready to leave,” Brice said.

  “Like hell, man,” Kyle said. “We got pizza.”

  Kyle was suddenly back to acting like a ten-year-old around the super cool fifteen-year-old Brice.

  “That’s your food,” Brice said. “I don’t want to be in the way.”

  “You’re not in the way,” Kyle said.

  My father appeared from the kitchen, holding a can of his cheap and crappy light beer.

  “Hey, Kinsley,” he said in a loud voice. His cheeks were rosy and his eyes big and glossy.

  He was half drunk.

  He came charging toward me to hug me.

  I stood there, hugging my father, my head unable to comprehend what was actually happening.

  “I’m so glad you’re here,” Dad said.

  “I figured I’d surprise everyone with pizza,” I said. “What’s going on across the street?”

  “Oh, they’re a pain in the ass over there,” Dad said.

  “Why?”

  “Retirement party,” Kyle said. “Dad is jealous that someone else will be snooping on everyone.”

  “Shove it,” Dad snapped at Kyle.

  Kyle started to laugh.

  I looked over at Brice. He stood cool as ever, arms crossed, leaning against the doorway to the foyer. His eyes were locked onto me and it made my mouth dry and my heart race.

  “I’m going to eat this,” Kyle said.

  “Pizza?” Dad said, finally taking notice of the two boxes balanced in Kyle’s hands. “I made chicken.”

  “Not tonight, Dad,” I said. “Skip the chicken.”

  “Brice, are you staying?” Dad offered.

  “No,” Brice said. “I couldn’t do that.”

  “Yes, you could,” Kyle said. “Come on, man. Stay. Have a slice.”

  “You’ve earned it,” Dad said to Brice. “You’ve been taking this moron to therapy for how long now?”