My eyes looked up as a spark of jealousy exploded.
Brice touched Milo’s shoulder. “Why don’t we let Dr. Kinsley check on Honey, okay? Why don’t you take my phone, Milo, and go sit out front?” Brice looked at me. “Is he okay out there?”
“He’ll be fine,” I said. “Deb is there. But he doesn’t need-”
Brice gave Milo his phone after Milo put the puppy on the floor. “Go ahead, buddy. I’ll be out in a minute.”
Milo exited the room.
“Why did you come here?” I asked.
Brice held a hot pink leash, which I refused to believe made him look somehow sexier.
“I need to know if this dog is okay or not.”
“Why wouldn’t the dog be okay?”
“June is out of rehab and trying to be a mom,” Brice said.
“So, your ex is out of rehab and comes right back to you.”
“You don’t know what you’re talking about,” he said. “I see the jealousy all over your face.”
“Yeah right,” I said. I purposely reached down and scooped up Honey and put her on the scale. I moved my left hand so it was quite visible to Brice.
He wasted no time in touching my wrist. “It’s all fake, love. Everything you’re thinking.”
He flicked at the diamond on the ring on my finger.
“What’s fake?”
“June abandoned Milo to go into rehab. Milo went to live with his Aunt April. That’s why I moved here. To help out. Hell, if it wasn’t for that, we wouldn’t have met back up. So, I guess it’s safe to say June really does ruin everything.”
I ran a hand over Honey’s fuzzy head. She looked nervous to be on the scale, inching her puppy nose over the edge with worried eyes.
“Okay,” I said. “June ruins everything. Sure.”
“June got clean and came for Milo. It’s been hectic because of that. April is hurt. And everything is a mess. There’s no right or wrong in the situation. She threatened April with court if she didn’t get to see Milo. It’s…”
My hand kept moving over Honey’s soft head and down her body. I stared at Brice, realizing he was nervous. Or upset.
“You don’t need to hear this,” he said. “I came here because you’re the only veterinarian I know. That’s all.”
“Well, let me take a look at her and we’ll go from there,” I said.
There was rarely a time when I felt nervous doing my job. I trusted my gut and everything I had learned. But to stand there and feel Brice’s eyes burning into me as I checked the puppy. He put one foot back and up against the wall. He folded his arms. He didn’t even blink as he watched me.
I casually turned my head as I listened to Honey’s heartbeat.
“Everything okay?” he asked.
I waited a few seconds. “Perfect.”
“Great,” Brice said.
I wrapped my stethoscope around my neck. “She’s healthy. Nothing wrong that I can see. What made you worry?”
“June,” he said. “I don’t even want to know where she got the puppy from. I’m sure it needs shots, right?”
“It?” I asked, much bolder than I would have dared in front of any other person.
“She. Her. This precious puppy.”
“That’s better,” I said.
Brice stepped forward. “Look, I love this dog as much as Milo does. But it’s just another headache. That’s all. It’s June’s way of trying to make up for stuff she never can. And all we can do is sit and hope she doesn’t mess things up. Okay?”
“I’m sorry you’re going through that, Brice,” I said.
“Well, we never talked about it before,” he said. “You were right about that. When we got together and talked, it was always about the past.”
“Brice…”
“I just need you to know that talking about the past wasn’t a way to win you over. Or a way to get you back, Kins. I never got my chance to really talk about it all. To find my way to cope and accept. I’m not blaming you for that either. My mind had one focus and that was to find a way to make you happy again. Things somewhere in there broke down for a second and we let that second turn into years. And if those years have us like this, and you’re happy again, then there’s nothing else I could ask for.”
I swallowed hard. “I’ll get everything ready for Honey here. Give me a minute, please.”
I hurried out of the room.
Normally I would have Deb help me if we weren’t busy. She had been talking about actually going to veterinarian school herself, so I had been teaching her a few things here and there, and I let her administer shots to the animals when she felt comfortable.
I took my time to catch my breath.
I had been selfish back then with Brice. I had every right and desire to be selfish after coming home from the hospital to an empty house. The week before it all went wrong, Brice spent time stacking up all our favorite movies and shows in our bedroom, getting ready for the long nights ahead. I told him he wouldn’t have to get up unless I needed him. But he touched my face and said we were in it together.
Instead of being up with a crying baby, learning how to become parents, Brice held me as we both pretended to sleep, our hearts broken in a way that even challenged our love.
When I entered the exam room again, Milo was back there.
“Got bored with my phone,” Brice said.
“That’s okay,” I said. “I could use your help, Milo. I need you to give Honey the biggest hug ever. Because these shots pinch for a second. I don’t want her to get scared.”
“Okay,” Milo said. “Come here, Honey. Come here, good girl. I’ll hold you.”
I saw the way they looked at each other. They were going to have a great life together. I looked at Brice and saw him frowning, meaning he didn’t trust Milo’s mother to let this bond happen.
“Here, Milo, you can sit here on my lucky bench,” I said.
Milo sat on the old bench with Honey in his arms.
I sat next to him and gently petted the hyper puppy.
“I promise, it’s only a pinch,” I said to Milo.
I smiled.
Milo smiled back.
I gave Honey her first set of shots and realized that I would have to see her again. And Milo. And Brice. Or maybe June or April. All these people in this situation that played out in Brice’s life.
My heart hurt a little, but not as much as it was jealous. Which was foolish of me to be jealous. Brice had his own life. I had my own life.
Milo sat on the bench, hugging Honey tightly, talking to her in a mature yet childish voice.
It made me grin as I typed information into the computer.
“Now, she’ll need more shots, obviously,” I said. I turned and kept my distance from Brice. “You can make an appointment with Deb. Or if there’s another practice that’s closer to you. It’s up to you.”
“So that’s it?” Brice asked.
Hurt washed over his face.
“That’s it,” I said. “Keep an eye on her. If anything seems… you know… then give me a call.”
“Give you a call,” he said. “Right.”
I tilted my head. You know what I meant, Brice.
“Okay, Milo,” Brice said. “We’d better get out of here. Dr. Kinsley has lots of puppies and kitties to see. Ready to head home?”
“Yeah,” Milo said.
“What do you say to Dr. Kinsley?”
“Thank you,” Milo said as he clutched the bright pink leash tightly.
I opened the door to leave to go back to my office. As I pulled the door shut, there was resistance.
Brice had a hand on the door, refusing to let me get away from him.
“Staff only,” I said.
“That’s cute,” he said. “Don’t confuse what I said before.”
“Meaning what?”
“Meaning the past is everything to us, Kins. And today is what I want. And tomorrow is all I need. What I allowed to happen between us is something I’ll
have to live with. Maybe I owe an apology, but I’m too stubborn for that. The love I have for you is like none you’ll find anywhere else. So, do I hope you’re happy right now? Of course I do, Kins. But… you’d be happier with me.”
“You decided to show up here to take your stand?”
“I took my stand a long time ago, love. I’m just the dummy standing here waiting for you to do the same.”
“What if I already did, Brice?”
“Then say it to me. Say it right to my face. Because you didn’t the first time. So, I need to hear it now.”
The words could have easily slipped from my mouth, sending him away. I wasn’t sure if that would keep him away for the rest of my life, and I wasn’t sure I wanted that at all. There was a piece of my heart that was forever his, and a piece that wanted him in my life, even as an old friend.
But Brice was an all or nothing kind of person. That’s what made him so bold and so sexy.
Even standing there, the scruffy look on his face, wearing a dark blue, long sleeved shirt with the sleeves pushed up a little. Way too good looking for his own good, able to pull it off by just waking up and going about his day.
It was painfully unfair.
“You want to talk about right now?” Brice whispered. “I’d love to. But it revolves around you, Kins. I can tell you all the bad things June did. I can tell you how her sister stepped in to take care of Milo. I can tell you how confusing it all is for that kid. And I can tell you how confusing it is for me. Not that I’m proud of it, but there was a chance for me and April to get together. And while there were a handful of reasons why we shouldn’t, the only one that mattered was you. I couldn’t imagine being with another woman other than you.”
I shook my head. “Don’t do that to me, Brice. Don’t flaunt your ability to screw other women as a way to say you love me.”
“That’s not my point, Kins.”
“Then what’s your point?”
“You’re the only one who makes me happy.”
“Brice, I’ve told you before, it’s not that simple,” I said.
“Well, I don’t know what’s next then for me,” Brice said. “Everything is happening at once and I might just step away to breathe.”
“What are you talking about?”
“I wanted to see you again to tell you everything, Kins. You don’t know how hard it is to not try and force your heart toward me. But that’s not what I want for you. But I can’t be your brother’s friend. Or your father’s friend. I can’t be a stepdad or fun uncle to Milo. I can’t be near April all the time as some kind of support system that has nothing else happening. And June is just evil.”
“Why not April?” I asked, jealousy creeping through my body faster. I couldn’t stop picturing Brice touching another woman.
Brice laughed. “I’m not playing that game. And most of all, Kins, I can’t stand here and watch you settle for something less than what you want. You don’t want this vet practice. Not like this at least. And that ring. The house. The okay, fine kind of marriage. That’s not the Kinsley I know.”
“You know what time does, Brice,” I said.
“Not to us,” he said. He reached up and touched my cheek. “Not to us.”
He backed up and I touched his arm. “Where are you going to go?”
“I don’t know what I’m doing yet. I was hoping you’d throw everything into the air and run away with me.”
I just stared at Brice.
We both knew that wasn’t possible.
Unless I wanted to…
“I have to go,” I said.
“I know,” he said. “I fucking love you, Kinsley. With every beating inch of my heart. And even with the pieces that had been taken away.”
Brice talked and walked to Milo, messing with his hair as he opened the door and led the way for himself, Milo, and Honey.
“That was supposed to be us,” I whispered.
Falling in love. Having Lindsay. Raising her. Giving her a puppy as a Christmas present from Santa. Watching them grow together. Living every little dream, every single day.
My eyes welled with tears.
Sometimes dreams just end without warning or meaning.
22
When They’re All Gone
Brice
The map was spread out across the entire coffee table. It had been there for days now. I stared at the map that spanned all of Pennsylvania as well as a portion of Ohio, West Virginia, Virginia, Delaware, New Jersey, and New York. I had other maps too. Shit, I had a phone which meant I had every map and GPS needed to get wherever I wanted to go.
The only destination I had in mind was in a cul-de-sac to get the woman I loved.
I put a glass of iced tea right over Pittsburgh and stared at the map. There was no point in trying to go anywhere even though I had the freedom to do it.
I could literally go anywhere…
But where?
Hit up a few new towns to make new friends? Be the guy just passing through so when I caught the attention of a woman, it was clear as day what the night would mean?
That meant shit to me.
But staying so close…
The map suddenly pulled to the left with enough force that the glass of iced tea toppled over on it.
“Ah, dammit,” I yelled as I jumped up. I pulled the map back and looked over at Honey as she had a piece of the map stuck in her mouth. “What did you do?”
Her puppy eyes and energy didn’t understand right from wrong yet.
“Come here,” I ordered.
She playfully jumped up on the couch at me.
I wrestled the paper from her mouth.
“You ate part of Ohio,” I said.
She licked my cheek.
I pushed her away. “Sit down and relax.”
She didn’t listen.
The map absorbed the iced tea.
I folded it up and carried it to the kitchen and threw it out.
Honey trailed behind me, always looking for a new adventure.
Yeah, guess who was taking care of the puppy now?
June, being the typical person she was, never thought to ask her landlady if she was allowed to have a dog. She wasn’t allowed to have a dog. And April didn’t want the dog at her house because of her schedule. She had started taking more work now that June was back in the picture. Milo got upset, not wanting to give up Honey, so I said I would take the damn dog. Not that I really minded though. She was fun, loyal, and always excited to see me. I gated her off in the kitchen when I went to work and always came home to a fresh pile of you know what as a way of saying Hey, Brice, I missed you.
Getting the dog was such a bad idea. But it was better than June taking off with her new boyfriend and leaving Milo for good.
I cleaned up the coffee table and went to get the keys to my truck.
With one whistle, I opened the door. “We’re going for a ride, Honey.”
She barked and skidded across the floor as she fought to get to freedom.
I had pretty much trained her already to stay close outside, and to jump into the truck.
Hell, the dog was a needed distraction.
She kept me busy and she kept me from feeling alone. She was probably the reason why I hadn’t jumped into my truck and just driven off after talking to Kinsley last. The romantic vision was the same, one night she would show up with her bags packed, ready to tackle forever with me. But that didn’t happen. She went home… to her fiancé.
I started my truck and looked over at Honey.
“Buckle up,” I said.
Honey barked.
I laughed.
Spring had swept through in a hurry. It seemed like I woke up one morning and any sign of winter was gone. The crisp chill in the air was gone. Trees were budding. Birds and bees were out. Those with allergies were sneezing like it was part of breathing.
That included Milo.
I drove to April’s house to find Milo sitting on the top step of the porch with a b
ag next to him.
He looked upset, until I let Honey out of the truck and she went running toward him. The two started to wrestle and play.
“Hey, buddy,” I said. “What’s wrong?”
“Mom was supposed to be here by now. She’s late.”
I looked over my shoulder. “I’m sure she’ll be here. Take care of Honey. Keep her in the yard.”
I welcomed myself inside April’s house. I started doing that after what happened between us. It was as though we broke some boundaries and set up new ones. I could enter her house, but I couldn’t sleep with her. That was a win-win for everyone.
April suddenly came from the kitchen and let out a yell when she saw me.
“Do I look that rough?” I asked.
“Brice,” she yelled. “You just scared me…”
“Where’s June?”
“Running late.”
“She’s taking Milo tonight?”
“I have to work,” April said. She pointed to her scrubs. “Overnight pay is amazing.”
“What if she doesn’t show?” I asked.
“Don’t know.”
She made a move and I blocked her. “Hey. Are you okay?”
“Fine. Why?”
“You seem short. And you’re working crazy hours. And you didn’t want the dog.”
April laughed. “So, let’s just look past the path of destruction June left and pick on me.”
“I’m not picking on you,” I said. “Just showing concern.”
“Oh, good to know you can do that while I have my clothes on.”
I gritted my teeth. “Oh, come on, April.”
“No.”
“Yes. You’re hurting and that’s okay. We agreed what happened that night-”
“I’m trying to keep myself sane,” she blurted out. “It cost me a lot to have Milo here, okay? I went into debt over it. So, I’m trying to get myself out. The nights June takes him are the worst to be here alone. And I don’t feel like going out, okay? Because I just have this sinking feeling she’s going to fuck up.”
“I’m sorry,” I said. “You have to live with this for the rest of your life. And it’s not fair.”
“I didn’t want a dog, okay? I get to draw the lines in my house. Nobody would be here to take care of that dog. And it was another rash decision made by June. She and Larry took Milo for ice cream and passed by a pet store. Next thing you know, they get a dog.”
Nobody Else Page 23