Cowgirl Up

by Ali Spooner

†

  Melissa helped her carry her belongings into the house and settle into her room. “The crew will be done in an hour or so, if you want you can catch a quick nap.”

  “Could I ask one more favor of you?”

  “Certainly, what can I do?”

  “Could you make me an ice pack and wrap me?” Stormy asked shyly.

  “No problem, get ready to lie down and I’ll be right back,” she said and left the room.

  Stormy pulled off her boots and jeans then slipped into a pair of shorts. She had just finished sliding her arm back into the sling when Melissa returned with an ice pack and a bottle of water.

  “It probably wouldn’t hurt to take some more ibuprofen,” she said as she gently placed the ice pack on Stormy’s shoulder and wrapped the bandage around to secure the pack.

  “That feels so good, thanks,” she said.

  Melissa walked to the bathroom, poured a pill into her hand, and took it to Stormy. “Try to get some rest if you can.”

  “Will you wake me when Gene is ready to start dinner?”

  “Yes, ma’am,” Melissa said and closed the door behind her as she left the room.

  †

  When Stan called work to a halt for the day, Coal drove the partially loaded truck to the barn and helped Gene and Lucas store the bales in the loft. Then Gene drove her home so she could shower and dress for her appointment with Del.

  †

  Mary Leah was just pulling into the drive when Coal finished dressing and walked to the refrigerator for a bottle of water.

  “Hey, baby,” Mary Leah said as she walked into the kitchen and hugged her. “You smell nice.”

  “Thanks. Did you have a good day?”

  “Yes, not bad at all and you?”

  “We got a couple loads of hay done,” she said.

  “What did the doctor say about Stormy’s shoulder?”

  “No permanent damage, but she’s got to wear the sling for a couple more days.”

  “That’s great news. Have you decided what we are having for dinner?”

  “I was thinking I would buy you a steak,” Coal said with a grin.

  “That sounds delicious. Are you ready to go?”

  “Just waiting on you, ma’am,” she said as she kissed Mary Leah softly.

  †

  Coal’s heart began to race when they pulled into the lot at Del’s office. Del had warned her that this week’s sessions would be difficult for her and anxiety threatened to overwhelm her.

  Mary Leah sensed her anguish. “You will be fine. Del won’t push you any further than you’re willing to go,” she said.

  “I know,” she answered. “I guess the sooner we start, the sooner I’ll be done.”

  “I’ll be waiting for you,” Mary Leah said and reached over to squeeze her hand.

  “Thanks for being here for me,” she said.

  “You’re welcome,” she answered.

  †

  The first thing Coal noticed when she entered Del’s office was the lighting had been dimmed.

  “I want you to sit in the recliner and relax. Feel free to close your eyes, while I talk for a few minutes,” Del said.

  She sat back on the recliner and leaned her head against the cool leather.

  “Pull the footrest up and get comfortable,” Del said as she walked to the chair across from her carrying two bottles of water. “Are you thirsty?”

  Coal’s mouth was dry, she felt like she’d been sucking on cotton balls. “Yes, I’m parched.”

  Del handed her the bottle. She took a long drink and placed it on the table beside her.

  “There is plenty, so if you need more, just let me know.”

  “Thanks, Doc,” she answered and relaxed back in the chair.

  “Tonight we are going to begin working with the Virtual Iraq software. It has been programmed with several of the scenarios you have described to me during our sessions.”

  Coal felt her heart lurch in her chest as a bead of sweat broke out on her forehead.

  “In just a few minutes, I will place a helmet on your head. Similar to your standard-issue helmet, modified specifically for use in therapy. It has built-in headphones and video goggles. I won’t lie to you and say it’s cool to wear, because it will be hot, but that will also help with the simulation of the heat in the desert.”

  Coal listened to Del’s soft voice and tried to calm her racing heart.

  “There is no timeline for your therapy, so if you become too uncomfortable and feel you need to stop, we will. I do want to encourage you to push your limits as far as you feel comfortable with.”

  The leather that had been cool against her skin just minutes before was reacting to the increase in her body temperature, and she felt perspiration soaking through her T-shirt. She felt her fingers digging into the arm of the chair and opened her hands to flex her fingers.

  “How are you feeling?” Del asked.

  “I’m anxious as hell,” she stated without opening her eyes.

  “Do you need a few minutes or can we get started?”

  “I’m ready as I’m going to be, Doc,” she said.

  “Okay then.” Del stood and walked to the cabinet beside her and opened the door. She took out a helmet and told Coal, “Open your eyes.”

  She opened her eyes and they landed on the black helmet Del held in her hands. Del offered her the helmet.

  Coal took the helmet with unsteady hands. “It’s heavier than I thought it would be.”

  “It’s still a prototype; hopefully they will fabricate a lighter version soon,” Del said.

  She turned the helmet in her hands inspecting it closely, and then bent her head forward to place it on her head. She positioned it comfortably then attached the chinstrap, slowly releasing the breath she had been holding.

  “Good so far?” Del asked.

  Coal nodded. “Yes, Doc.”

  “When you’re ready, position the goggles over your eyes,” she instructed.

  Coal waited a few seconds to adjust to the weight of the helmet. She pulled the goggles over her eyes and was panic-stricken when she could see nothing through them.

  “I should have warned you that you wouldn’t be able to see through them,” Del apologized.

  “That’s okay, Doc,” she said as calmly as she could.

  “I’m going to turn some music on when you’re ready so we can test the sound,” she said.

  “Ready when you are, I just hope it’s country,” Coal teased.

  “Only the best for you,” Del said. The music started playing. “How’s the volume?”

  “It can come down a notch,” she said.

  Del used a remote to lower the volume. “How’s that?”

  “Much better, thanks.”

  “Have you played many video games, Coal?”

  “No, not really,” she answered.

  “In just a minute, I’m going to place a joystick in your hands. You will need to use this to move the soldier forward, backward and from side to side. This is one way you will have control over the simulation. The video will not move forward without your command.”

  “That sounds easy enough.”

  “Are you ready to move forward?”

  “Yes, Doc, I think I am.”

  “Very well then.” Del walked to the cabinet and retrieved the wireless joystick that she placed in her hands. “On top of the joystick is a button, when you push it the video pauses. I am going to start the video. I want you to practice pausing and moving for a few minutes before we attempt the first scenario. Is this okay with you?”

  “Yes, Doc,” she said as her heart hammered against her chest.

  Del sat close to her to monitor her visible signs of distress as she used the remote to turn the video to play.

  Coal waited in the virtual darkness for several long seconds, then she began to hear a faint sound as the screen began to glow and slowly brightened to a scene of a deserted street. Heat waves danced across the broken asphalt and the soun
d grew louder.

  “That sounds like the blades of a chopper approaching,” she said.

  “That’s good, Coal. That is exactly what the sound is. Can you move forward?”

  Coal’s hands were sweating as she used her fingers to move the joystick forward. She sensed the movement inside the goggles. “That feels really strange, like I am actually moving.”

  “Are you comfortable with it?”

  “Yes.” She moved the joystick forward and then side to side.

  “Will you walk down to the end of the street and stop there?” Del asked.

  Coal moved the joystick and the soldier walked forward, instinctively scanning from side to side watching for the enemy. She could hear the crunching of rocks under the soldier’s feet, and when she moved her head down, she saw the soldier carrying a rifle identical to the one she had used. The thumping of helicopter rotors grew louder and she looked up and to the left to see a large Huey passing overhead. The copter’s gunner was sitting inside the open door, his legs dangling through the air. He waved as they passed over, causing her to smile and lift her hand.

  Del watched the movement in Coal, and realized she was submerging into the video well.

  She continued forward and watched as the other soldiers in the unit, returning from their assignments as they made their patrol rounds, surrounded her soldier. She could hear the gentle bantering of the other soldiers, but could not make out their words.

  “Let’s fall into place, soldiers, and for God’s sake keep your eyes open,” the squad leader barked out in her ears as he turned and led them forward.

  As the squad began moving forward, the auditory atmosphere began to change. Coal could hear the barking of a dog somewhere off to her right, and she remembered the huge black dog they had passed on so many occasions chained to a tree in the backyard of one of the homes. Her mouth went dry and her heart rate soared with the memory.

  Del could see Coal licking her lips. “Are you thirsty?”

  “Yes, my throat is parched,” she answered.

  “Hit the pause button, and I will hand you the water.”

  Coal did as instructed and depressed the button. The goggles flickered, and then went dark.

  Del twisted the lid from the bottle and placed it in her hand. “How are you feeling so far?”

  “I’m doing okay, Doc. It’s surprising how real this feels.”

  She took a long drink of the water. “I can feel the heat and taste the dust in the air,” she remarked. “I never could get enough to drink to wash that taste out of my mouth.”

  Del smiled. It was good she was remembering other facts than just the trauma she experienced. “Let me know when you’ve had enough to drink and are ready to move on.”

  Coal took another drink and blindly handed Del the bottle.

  “Push the button when you are ready.”

  She took a breath and pressed the button to activate the video. The goggles glowed for several seconds as the scene came back to life. The unit froze in place until she realized she had to use the joystick to move them forward.

  She pressed the joystick forward and the group moved together in unison down a wide alley until they reached another broad street. This one was not deserted. Cars lined along the curb. Children were playing in the street, kicking a soccer ball between them until they spied her group’s approach, then they came running toward the soldiers. Coal gasped for breath. She remembered how beautiful the children were, but also that in some areas children occasionally were bombs, their tiny little bodies strapped with explosives as they rushed into a unit of soldiers in hopes of candy or money. Several American soldiers died from the explosions as the child, sacrificed in the name of war, brought great honor to his family. She felt her arms rise lifting her rifle as the children approached and a dark-eyed child stopped in front of her. She felt her lips curling into a smile as her hand disappeared and then returned with a chocolate bar she handed to the child, who rushed quickly away to enjoy her gift.

  The smile left her face when the children, like ghosts, disappeared and angry voices were shouting down at the children and the soldiers who had begun walking down the street, their ever-vigilant eyes scanning for threats. She raised her head as her eyes scanned the windows for any signs of a sniper. She heard the droning of approaching helicopters once more and looked up to see three flying quickly overhead on their way back to base. Her nerves were tense as the additional sounds threatened to paralyze her movements and she felt her breathing becoming more rapid. She felt her skin breaking out in a cold sweat, and she pressed the button to pause the video.

  Del watched her carefully for several seconds to see if she would continue, and then spoke softly to her, “I think that’s enough for tonight.”

  Coal certainly wasn’t going to argue with her. She was relieved to be able to escape the stimulation of the video.

  “Pull the goggles up and then you can take the helmet off,” Del said as she took the joystick from Coal’s tight grip. She placed the joystick and then the helmet on the table beside her. “I think you did remarkably well for a first time. How do you feel?”

  Coal made a motion to stand up from the recliner, but Del held her in place. “You need to sit and relax for a few minutes,” she instructed, handing her a fresh bottle of water. “You may feel a bit nauseated, like you’re getting motion sickness, but that is quite common for virtual reality therapy.”

  “I feel fine, Doc,” she said, as she took the bottle of water from Del. She opened it and took a long drink.

  Del could see the obvious signs of the stress to Coal’s system. Her shirt and hair were soaked with perspiration and there was still a look of panic in her eyes. It was obvious she was ready to escape the room for the outdoors and some fresh air.

  “Are you feeling comfortable with this form of therapy?” Del asked.

  “Comfortable, no, but if you’re asking if I can handle it, then yes,” Coal answered a bit sharply.

  “What about it makes you uncomfortable, Coal?”

  “It’s so realistic, it’s almost like being back in the desert, but I assume that’s the way it should feel.”

  “Exactly, but remember we will take this on at your pace, so you can adjust all you need before we move on.”

  She nodded her head and stood up to leave the room.

  Del followed her out to the waiting area and smiled at Mary Leah. They watched as Coal quickly disappeared out the front door. Mary Leah turned and looked at Del with concern.

  “She’s okay. She just needs some fresh air.”

  “She looks like she’s been through the wringer,” Mary Leah said.

  “It wasn’t easy for her, but she did great for the first session. Make sure she gets plenty to drink she worked up a good sweat in there. Also, don’t be surprised if she gets nauseated on the road home, it’s a type of motion sickness sometimes associated with virtual reality, but nothing to be worried about.”

  She walked Mary Leah to the door and locked it behind her. She returned to the office to review the videotape of Coal’s session.

  †

  Mary Leah walked out to find her leaning against the back of the car. “Are we ready to head for home or do you need a few minutes?”

  “I’m ready, sweetheart,” she answered, and climbed inside the car.

  Mary Leah turned the key and Coal asked, “Would you mind if I roll the window down? I need some fresh air.”

  “No problem at all, do we need to stop for something to drink?”

  “That would be great. I’ll even treat you to an ice cream cone if you’ll stop.”

  “You have so got a deal,” Mary Leah said as she pulled from the parking lot.

  †

  When they arrived home, she looked much more relaxed and announced, “I’m going to take a shower.”

  “Okay, baby,” she said. “I’m going to get the coffeepot ready for in the morning and then get my clothes ready for work.”

  Coal stripped out of her
still damp clothes and quickly rinsed the sweat from her body. She was bone weary, and after drying and taking her medicine, she slipped into the bed. Mary Leah walked into the room to get her clothes to iron and said, “I won’t be much longer and then I’ll join you.”

  “All right, honey,” she answered.

  Ten minutes later when Mary Leah returned with freshly ironed clothes, she found her fast asleep. She put her clothes away and finished her nightly routine before climbing into bed beside a softly snoring Coal. She watched her lover sleep for several minutes, glad to see her relaxed and that the tension left over from the intense session had left her body.

  Chapter Nineteen

  “I did it again, didn’t I?” she said as Mary Leah walked back into the bedroom.

  “Did what, honey?”

  “Fell asleep on you again.”

  Mary Leah handed her a cup of coffee. “You were worn out last night.”

  “Yeah, I was, but I feel like I’m neglecting you.”

  “Oh, baby, you are not neglecting me,” Mary Leah said.

  Coal sipped on her coffee as she listened to her lover. She knew Mary Leah would never complain, but it didn’t make her feel any less guilty. “Tonight I should be able to stay awake.”

  “Really, Coal, it’s not a big deal. I’m more concerned with you getting plenty of sleep right now.”

  Deciding to change the subject, she asked, “What would you like for supper?”

  “Do you think you will feel up to grilling us some chicken breasts?”

  “I think I can handle that. Would you like them barbecued?”

  “I will make us a salad and some corn if you will handle the chicken.”

  She smiled at her warmly. “You have a deal, my love.”

  †

  Coal fed Shadow before leaving for work. “We will go for a ride soon, I promise, big boy,” she said as she placed fresh hay in his bin. He looked at her with big brown eyes. “Okay, I get the message,” she said and opened the stall to lead him out into the aisle. She saddled Shadow and rode him to work.