In the Wolf's Lair

by Starobinets, Anna; Bugaeva, Jane; Muravski, Marie

  “Get down!” came a voice from somewhere off to the right. Suddenly, Badger and Badgercat were showered with large clumps of soil, pieces of roots, rocks, and slugs, followed by Mole, who tumbled out of a hole that had materialized in the wall of the pit.

  “We were beginning to think you weren’t coming,” exhaled Chief Badger.

  “Of course I was coming!” Mole squinted blindly. “We had a plan. As soon as I felt Ray’s shock, I’d dig the additional tunnel. It’s just I had to come from far away. You couldn’t have fallen into a pit a bit closer?

  The plan was for me to dig about sixty feet, but I’ve been digging closer to two miles. Anyway, none of that matters now. Follow me.” And Mole nimbly dove into the hole he’d just come out of. “The tunnel is narrow, but you’ll fit,” he added and began crawling forward.

  “Let’s go,” ordered Chief Badger and, wheezing, crawled into the dark, narrow tunnel after Mole.

  CHAPTER 15: IN WHICH BADGERCAT DOESN’T BELIEVE HIS EYES

  “I’m lost,” admitted Badgercat, crawling behind Chief Badger. “How did Mole know we’d end up in a pit? What was your plan? Where are we going? What’s going on?”

  “We’re going to the hideout.”

  “Is Mrs. Rabbit there?”

  “Something like that,” said Badger. “Mole and I had a plan. He’d dig a tunnel from the Near Woods’ main ravine to the hideout. That’s what he was doing all day yesterday—not installing a heated floor in my den. The idea was that we’d fall into the ravine and pretend to drown in the brook…”

  “Why would we fall into the ravine?”

  “So the lawyer owls would stop following us and interfering…”

  “How’d you know the owls would follow us?”

  “Badger instinct. I figured that since the owls worked for Mrs. Rabbit, once they realized we were coming for her, they’d try to follow us and stop us. But I didn’t think they’d set up a trap so far from the hideout. Or that you, Badgercat, would fall for the bait of mice tails. Anyway, the plan was that we’d pretend to drown, then signal Mole with Ray’s electric shock. Mole would dig a small additional tunnel under the ravine to meet us, lead us underground to the main tunnel, and completely undetected, we’d make our way to the hideout. But things happened the way they happened and we got trapped.”

  “How did you find out where Mrs. Rabbit was hiding?”

  “Badger instinct,” said Badger but didn’t elaborate. “Anyway, as I said, things happened the way they happened, so Mole had to dig an extralong additional tunnel, but that doesn’t change the rest of the plan. We’ll use this tunnel to get to the main tunnel and then make our way to the hideout.”

  “Maybe, if you would have let me in on the plan from the get-go, then what happened wouldn’t have happened. And we wouldn’t have gotten trapped. Why didn’t you tell me anything?”

  Chief Badger stopped for a second and, wheezing, turned to face Badgercat.

  “When someone has a secret plan, the less other animals know about it, the better.”

  “But I’m not just another animal! I’m your partner! Why did you even take me along if you don’t trust me?”

  “Forgive me,” said Badger. He resumed crawling through the tunnel, which was getting wider. “Of course I trust you. But you’re young and hot-headed. You’re impulsive. Inexperienced. Fond of mice tails… I didn’t tell you the plan, so you wouldn’t accidently mess it up. But I took you along because you’re my partner and I like working with you. You’re strong and agile. But wisdom comes with age, my young friend. While strength and agility fade… We’re a great pair, you and I. We complement each other…”

  “Shh, Chief,” whispered Mole. “We’re here. The hideout is right above us.”

  “How can you see it?” asked Badger, surprised, looking up into the darkness.

  “I can’t see anything. I’m blind,” chuckled Mole. “But I can feel it. So, Chief,” he turned toward Badger, “should I dig up?”

  “How far up is it?” asked Badger.

  “Four feet,” said Mole confidently.

  “And how long…?”

  “It takes me fifteen seconds to dig four feet.”

  “Okay, Mole, but do it all in one go.” Badger gave the go-ahead. “And you, Badgercat, as soon as Mole digs through, get ready to pounce, right up into the hideout. Let’s take them by surprise.”

  “Them?” asked Badgercat, confused. “You meant to say ‘her’?”

  Badger didn’t have time to respond. Mole dug upward, all in one go, as ordered, and Badgercat braced himself, pushed off with his hind legs, and leaped up into the hideout.

  “Mrs. Rabbit you are under…,” began Badgercat but stopped short. His fur stood on end, and he involuntarily let out his claws to their maximum length. Mrs. Rabbit was not the only one in front of him. Next to her, laying on a heap of carrots, was a ghost: the murder victim.

  “Rabbit…,” Badgercat whispered in horror. “The dead Rabbit…is here…eating carrots.”

  “He’s alive and well,” panted Badger behind him. “And those are stolen carrots. In the name of the law of the Far Woods, Mr. and Mrs. Rabbit, you are under arrest for fraud, theft, and perjury!” he thundered. “Badgercat, cuff them.”

  CHAPTER 16: IN WHICH CHIEF BADGER CAN’T HIBERNATE IN PEACE

  “But how did you know?” Psychologist Mouse looked into Chief Badger’s eyes with admiration, stirring some sugar into his tea.

  “Yes, how did you know that Rabbit wasn’t eaten?” asked Badgercat. “And that he was hiding in the same hideout where you once found coyote Yote?”

  “Ha ha ha!” Yote shook with laughter, spilling half of his tea on himself. “In the very same place! Ha ha ha! Who would have thought?”

  “Badger instinct,” said Chief Badger. “It all became clear after we interrogated Yote—who, by the way, I never believed to be guilty. According to Yote, Rabbit had been ‘getting even with Wolf, for all the rabbits eaten in the Far Woods’ for some time—by ‘throwing out all his roasted beetles.’ Please! Rabbit’s not vindictive! And what do beetles have to do with anything? It’s obvious that Rabbit was just purposefully annoying Wolf. The question is why?”

  “So that Wolf would threaten him in front of witnesses,” said Badgercat. “So that after Rabbit had staged the murder, everyone would think that Wolf had done it.”

  “Exactly,” nodded Badger. “Badger instinct. Then Rabbit asks his friend Yote to show him where he hid after his parents were killed. Under the pretense that friends don’t keep any secrets from each other…”

  “Ha ha ha! Hee hee hee!” Yote laughed tragically. “What a dirty trick! What a low blow!”

  “When in actuality Rabbit was just looking for a place he could hide after staging his own murder. Yote’s hideout was perfect—secluded, warm, comfortable, and far enough away from the Far Woods. Somewhere he could winter comfortably. Then Rabbit steals food from the Tree Knot Tavern. Obviously, he’s stocking up on provisions while simultaneously setting up Yote. The coyote is outraged, he’s angry with Rabbit, he threatens him. Now Yote’s a backup suspect in case something doesn’t work out with Wolf. After that it’s simple: Rabbit sacrifices the fluffy end of his tail, he and Mrs. Rabbit plant the bloodied tail in the clearing and trample down the grass and leaves all around to make it look like there was a struggle. In a word, they stage Rabbit’s horrible murder. They hire the lawyer owls from the Near Woods in advance, so they can help Mrs. Rabbit obtain Wolf’s den as quickly as possible. Any doubts I had left were erased when Mouse drew the psychological profile of the perpetrator.”

  “But the psychological profile showed Mrs. Rabbit,” protested Badgercat.

  “You saw Mrs. Rabbit—which in a way is also true, since she was an accomplice to the crime. But I saw none other than Rabbit.”

  “Did they really commit such a calculated crime just for the sake of square footage?” asked Badgercat. “I always considered Rabbit a good guy.”

  “Just for the
sake of square footage,” said Starling. He had been confiscated from the criminal family to serve the needs of the police department. “I always considered Rabbit a good guy. Did they really commit such a calculated crime.”

  “They insist that they did it for the sake of their kits,” said Badger. “Out of desperation and poverty and because their kits were cold and cramped in their small burrow. And Wolf’s den is spacious and centrally located.”

  “For the sake of their kits,” interrupted Starling. “Out of desperation and poverty. Because their kits were cold.”

  “But what about Rabbit?” yowled Yote. “Ha ha ha! He couldn’t have returned and lived in Wolf’s den. Everyone thought he was dead!”

  “Ha ha ha!” repeated Starling.

  “Perhaps Rabbit was willing to sacrifice not only the tip of his tail but also domestic life for the sake of his kits,” sighed Chief Badger. “Or maybe he was planning on coming back in the spring, molted into a new color, under the guise of a new rabbit. He and Mrs. Rabbit would have pretended like they’d just met. Who knows what goes on inside a criminal’s mind?” Badger yawned widely. “Well, it’s time to hibernate. Business is taken care of, the criminals have been apprehended, and Mole and Ray promised they’d finish my heated floor by tonight.”

  “How will the Rabbits be punished? And their owl accomplices?” asked Mouse.

  “The Rabbits will be punished to the full extent of the law,” Badger yawned again. “Community service and loss of freedom. And we can’t punish the owls—they aren’t citizens of our woods. But it will be illegal for them to cross or fly over our territory.” Badger rose. “Well, folks, I’m off to sleep.”

  “Happy hibernating to you, mentor,” said Badgercat respectfully.

  “Happy what was that?” Yote’s ears suddenly perked up. “I hear barking. Do you hear it?”

  “Yes, barking,” nodded Badger, annoyed. “Angry dogs are the last thing we need in our Far Woods.”

  The barking—hoarse, menacing, testy—was getting closer. As if an entire pack of dogs had broken free of their chains and were bounding through the woods straight toward the police station. The animals could already hear fast, throaty panting behind the door. They could already sense the thick, suffocating scent of canine sweat.

  “Rrrrruuuuufffff!” A huge shaggy dog burst into the station. He was breathing heavily, wrinkling his wet, dirty nose. “Who’s the chief here? I said, who’s in charrrrrrge?”

  “I am. I’m the chief,” said Chief Badger calmly. “And who are you?”

  “I’m Muxtar. Head guard dog of Huntington Farm. Here’s the deal. A certain fox of yours has illegally made her way on to the farm’s territory. She’s stolen one of our chickens and dragged it back to the Far Woods. Immediately turn over the felonious fox and the chicken to be mauled.”

  “Who do you plan to maul? The fox or the chicken?” asked Badger.

  “We will maul the fox. And make soup out of the chicken.”

  “Take the chicken. We’ll punish the fox ourselves.”

  “That won’t do,” Muxtar bared his teeth unpleasantly. “In accordance with the laws of Huntington Farm, theft of rural livestock and poultry by a resident of the Far Woods is punishable by the mauling of that resident.”

  “So that’s the law?” Badger narrowed his eyes.

  “That’s the law,” confirmed Muxtar.

  “And what if we don’t comply?”

  “Then a hunt is on!” barked Muxtar. Hoarse barking broke out from the pack that awaited him outside.

  “We won’t turn over Fox,” Badgercat suddenly butt in. “It’s my fault. I told her she could steal the chicken.”

  “Then turn over the fox and the cat to be mauled,” said Muxtar happily.

  “I’m not a cat,” whispered Badgercat. “I’m Assistant Chief Badger of the Far Woods Police.”

  “We’ll take the Badger too,” roared Muxtar. “If you don’t want a hunt.”

  “We don’t want there to be a hunt. But we won’t turn over our animals either.” Chief Badger longingly thought about his heated floor. “Let’s think of a peaceful solution.”

  “There’s only one way to prevent a hunt. Turn over the animals responsible for the theft of the chicken. And the chicken, we want her back too. You have twenty-four hours. If, by this time tomorrow, the chicken, the fox, and the kittybadger are not delivered to Huntington Farm, we’ll return with a pack of hunting hounds. Understood?”

  “Understood,” said Badger.

  He understood that he’d have to postpone his hibernation.

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