Falling Into Us

by Selene Chardou

  “Show time…or at least time to practice for the real show that happens tomorrow night.”

  I smiled as we separated and I quickly grabbed my handbag before I followed Kaz as he opened the door. Jaden leaned against the door though he was in no position to talk as his ear was pressed against his iPhone.

  Kaz closed the door behind us and we walked down the hallway to the elevator. He grabbed my hand nearest to his and squeezed tightly. I immediately felt safe and secure; it was bound to be a good day.

  The Tacoma Dome was huge and seated twenty-three thousand people. There was plenty of great shots to capture not to mention Damira and I were having too much fun laughing and generally having a great time.

  Kaz and the band were taking a break as Winter’s Regret practiced. I took several photos because Seth and Talia were practicing the duet that would be on their upcoming album they would work on after the tour ended and everyone agreed it should be the first single. The song was amazing. Talia had one of those Mariah Carey/Christina Aguilera voices but unlike Ms. Aguilera, she toned her capabilities down due to not wanting to outshine Seth.

  He was already insecure about doing a duet with her at all but it was such an amazing song, I’d successfully convinced Kaz, Jaden, Will and Grant to take it if Seth backed out and decided he didn’t want it on the album.

  “Fucking cut!” Seth said in the mic and everyone stared at him as he glared at Talia. “You’re doing it again. Earth to Talia—this is my band and I don’t need to be upstaged by the newest member. Absolutely no fucking diva high notes. What the hell do you think this is? A fucking Celine Dion show at Caesar’s Palace?”

  “What are you? High? I have to go up an octave for that particular part of the song. I won’t be able to be heard over Kris’ guitar work if I don’t, Seth,” she responded in a pissed off voice.

  “You know what? Fuck you and fuck this motherfuckin’ song! Kaz, you said Scarlet Fever wanted it—you can fucking have it. I don’t want it on our next album. I’m done for now.”

  Seth stalked off in a fury though Talia didn’t follow. She merely stepped down from the stage as Damira and I walked over to the scene of verbal carnage.

  “Kaz, were you serious about wanting the song?”

  I stared at my boyfriend as he nodded his head. “Pay no attention to Seth. He’s delusional and paranoid. I’ll talk to him and we’ll record it. If this is the case, I want to rehearse it with you because I want it to be our closing song since it is, appropriately titled, ‘Goodbye, Lover’. You cool with that?”

  “Yeah. Listen, I have to go take a walk before I rip that motherfucker’s head off and then not only will we not have a lead singer for Winter’s Regret but I’ll go to prison. I hate when he thinks he can talk to me anyway he wants to.”

  I watched as she strolled off as a brunette and a fiery redhead bounced in and both looked like bad news. I’d seen enough episodes of Sons of Anarchy to know biker chicks when I saw them and this must have been Jaden’s elusive sister with her best friend.

  Something made me clutch my camera as they approached us all. Jaden stood and ran over to hug his sister before he inquired, “What the hell is she doing here?”

  “I told you I was bringin’ her. Listen, what happened between them was a long time ago, Cocky. I’m sure everyone has moved on—”

  “I sure as fuck have,” the redhead said in an American accent with a hint of another accent buried underneath as if she hadn’t been born in the States and perhaps had moved here as an adolescent.

  My eyes followed the redhead’s and I traced them directly into Kaz’s direction. He looked like the cat that ate the canary. Now it was my turn to wonder what the hell was going on and why hadn’t anyone bothered to inform me? I hated surprises but I despised deception even more and if I found out this bitch was one of the secrets he’d been keeping from me, there might not be a concert that night. If Talia took care of Seth then I would most definitely take care of Kaz.

  Chapter Thirteen

  Concert Three: The Tacoma Dome

  Kaz glared at the redhead and thought this had to be a bad dream because she was the reason for so much and the first woman he truly had loved as an adult. His first love because although he’d never been in love, he’d loved a couple of women and Keren Hughes had been the first.

  In fact, she was the reason why the band was named Scarlet Fever. Without her influence, they might have just gone for Jaden’s suggestion of Gillian’s Demons. It was never a name Kaz was comfortable with but once he started dating Keren, all the members teased him and called him “Fire Crotch Lover” and told him he had “Scarlet Fever”. The second name stuck and became the band name they now used and were known all over the world.

  She still looked as good as he remembered with her creamy alabaster skin, sky blue eyes, perfect cheeks, slightly full, lip-glossed covered lips and hair so auburn, it was a fiery, straight halo that almost reached her lower back. She’d added purplish black chunks; a very popular look with all biker chicks. She also dressed like a biker chick with a tight black leather mini skirt so short, it barely skimmed her ass, a scarlet lace corset top she’d made herself and a pair of lace-up, shitkickers with four-inch platforms.

  He remembered when Misty had blonde chunks of highlighted hair throughout her dark hair but she’d gotten rid of it as soon as Jaden saw her and told her she looked like one of the skanks that came to their concerts.

  Maeve “Misty” Cox loved Jaden more than her other three brothers combined and always sought his approval about everything so when he’d made it clear he hated her hair, she listened.

  Kaz felt a pair of eyes other than Keren’s on him and he turned to face Syd who looked less than pleased. She packed up her camera in its bag and walked off with Damira.

  “Fuck,” he muttered before he stalked over to Misty and Keren.

  “Hey, big boy. You dating that high society blonde with the tight ass?” she inquired in her hybrid American-Welsh accent. “You could do so much better than that rich bitch. What happened to your taste in women, honey?”

  “I grew up and decided I didn’t want some skanky ass old lady like you,” he retorted in a cold voice. “Listen, I don’t mind you and Keren being here but this isn’t a vacation for us and we have to practice. If you could be so kind as to wait in the bus until we get ready to go back to the hotel, it would help everyone out. It’s already been a pretty rough day.”

  Misty swallowed, her crystal blue eyes bright yet nervous, as she placed both hands on her bump, which was only slight considering she was almost six months into her pregnancy. “I really should get somewhere and rest up. Thanks, Kaz. I couldn’t come alone and yet, I couldn’t stay there either. If I have the baby then my dad can’t do shit. This was the only way…” she trailed off.

  “Jaden, why don’t you show them to the bus? The rest of us will get ready to practice.”

  Grant rolled his eyes as Kaz turned to face him. “I bet you anything my skins are all fucked up. Niko can’t play drums worth shit and he bangs the sticks too fucking hard. If they are messed up then it means they will have to be replaced and my playing might be off if they are strung too tight.”

  “We’ll cross that bridge when we get to it,” Kaz responded absent-mindedly.

  He stepped onto the stage and joined Grant and Will, who’d begun to tune his bass and before he tested the sound.

  He despised himself just a little bit for thinking about those creamy legs of Keren’s and how amazing their sex life was because she got off on rough fucking. She was always ready to go, always up for a good time in any form and that is what made her such a great girlfriend and a detriment if he wanted a serious career in rock and roll.

  Their break up was as volatile as their meeting and the relationship itself. She’d thrown stuff at him and chipped his front tooth. He’d had to get his tooth repaired afterwards with his trust fund money. The bitch was certifiably crazy but they were happy at one time even when they made one
another miserable.

  “Who was that woman?” a soft voice inquired.

  Kaz looked down and realized Syd stood in front of him. When had she come back? He’d been so lost in his own thoughts, he hadn’t realized she’d returned from where ever she’d run off to in the first place.

  He couldn’t lie to Sydney. Although he didn’t love her, he was as close as he was going to get until he could trust her one hundred percent. That hadn’t happened yet because he couldn’t depend on her not leaving him in a lurch. Concert tours were hard enough for musicians to get through; he couldn’t imagine what she was going through. It was his own selfishness, which had pushed her into the tour, and now skeletons from his past were spilling out his closet faster than he could shut and bolt the door closed.

  “Keren—”

  “Is that her name?” She cocked her head to the side. “Kaz, do you two have a history together? A ‘yes’ or ‘no’ will suffice.”

  “Syd, it’s complicated. Yes, we have a history but we were together before I met my ex-wife and…it’s not something I feel comfortable talking about here when the band should be rehearsing and you should be doing the job you’re paid to do.”

  “Agreed but if you two are unfinished business then let me know and I can start riding on the tour bus designated for the girls. I don’t need this crap in my life. Yes, this tour has been unreal so far but I don’t want to compete for someone who still has a piece of your heart,” she explained in a quiet voice that could barely be heard over Will’s bass playing.

  “Keren doesn’t have shit and for you to imply she does is insulting to both you and me. Believe me, if I still wanted to be with her, I would but that isn’t the case. If I didn’t care so much about you, I would treat you like a skank and a groupie but I don’t. You’ve met my kid and now that you’re so buddy-buddy with my ex-fucking-wife, don’t let her fill your head with bullshit. She is pushing her own baggage off on you and you’re allowing her to do it.”

  His aquamarine eyes were icy as he continued, “I won’t tolerate a weak, wimpy female who needs reassurance from me at all times about how much I respect her. I want to be able to trust you because that is the only way I can allow myself to love you but look at this from my point of view. I am a rock star and women want a piece of me all the time. I have been in three serious relationships—you being the third—and every time they end, a piece of my heart locks itself off and I can’t reopen it.

  “Keren hurt me more than you can ever imagine and I would never be with her again. Don’t go looking for trouble because you’ll find it and don’t start probing into my background like some low-grade psychology major from a shit community college because I am telling you now you won’t like what you’ll find. You’ll be left with more pain than you can imagine and I’ll merely wind up broken beyond repair. I will never be able to trust another woman again and it will all lead back to what you did to me.”

  Syd stared at Kaz with a stunned look on her face, her blue-gray eyes cool and yet hurt at the same time.

  He knew he should have said something—anything—to her to apologize for his rudeness because he’d insulted her in front of the guys and that wasn’t cool. He felt like a first-class dick but what could he do?

  Jaden raced up the aisle and jumped on the stage. “Come on man, let’s rock!” he exclaimed enthusiastically.

  Kaz turned to him, “One minute, man, I gotta straighten up something with my girl first.”

  His best friend merely stared at him as he raised one of his dark brows inquisitively. “You mean the one who’s walking away?”

  Kaz faced the empty auditorium and watched Sydney as she strolled with purpose down an empty aisle. He would have to handle the issue later because right now was not the best time for him to do anything.

  He faced his band members—his brothers and the only real family he had—and nodded. “Come on, let’s rock! How about we take it from the top with ‘Black Hearted Bitch’?”

  Will smiled as he began the opening bass lines. “Dude, how did you know that was my favorite?”

  Kaz laughed out loud before he started the first lines of the song and thought of Sydney, “You came on like a hurricane, should have known you would cause me nothing but pain. You’re a blank hole with a voodoo soul and all the while I should have known you just copied my style. I got a need for you, you’re a scratch I gotta itch but I should have known all along you were a black-hearted bitch…”

  That night when Kaz performed the song, he had been singing for over two hours and his voice had begun to get hoarse. He was pissed all day and it was evident in his performance of every song he sang.

  His whole body gleamed with sweat and the twenty-three thousand fan arena was packed to the brim. The crowd sang along and everyone was high from various alcohol beverages, pharmaceuticals and adrenaline from a concert that had kicked ass and then some.

  Kaz wore a pair of scarlet leather pants and he’d flung his black wife-beater into the crowd ages ago. A lucky blonde picked it up and threw off her black bustier top just to put it on. It was drenched with his sweat and as he sang his heart out, the rivulets continued to pour down his face, neck, back and chest.

  He wondered how some rockers like Marilyn Manson did it because he couldn’t imagine wearing makeup. There would be none left on his face by the end of the show. He lost tons of electrolytes every night and made sure the break rooms were always stocked with Gatorade and mineral water because after a show, he could down over sixty-four ounces of fluid within a half an hour like it was nothing.

  The song ended and the crowd roared for more. He was secretly glad there was only one last song to do and the concert would be over.

  “Tacoma, you kick ass!” he shouted into the mic. “This has been by far one of the best concerts of my life but before we go, I have a song that I want to sing to you. It isn’t on any of our albums and was supposed to be the upcoming single for Winter Regret’s third album but things didn’t work out and now it will be on Scarlet Fever’s sixth studio album, Nothing Lasts Forever. It’s called ‘Goodbye, Lover’.”

  They’d rehearsed the song earlier and since Grant, Will and Jaden could all learn anything in less than a day, they’d gotten it down with him singing both he and Talia’s parts in three takes. That night, she would be joining him on the stage because her part came up first.

  “When you told me it was over, I told you never say never, but you never listened to a word I said. Is it really over this time or is this a line you’re feeding me because all I wanted to do was make you happy. You pushed me too far, I’ve fallen over the edge this time and now I don’t know how I’m gonna make this right…” Talia stepped from out of the shadows and joined Kaz.

  He joined her strong voice as they began to sing the chorus, “How could you build me up? Only to break me down, I never thought you’d be so cruel, no, not ever. When I think about us now, I can only imagine how it must be this way so now I say…auf wiedersehen, hasta la vista…so many different ways to part today. I want you to save me as I run for cover, but now all I can say, is goodbye, lover.”

  Kaz completely immersed himself into the song and before he knew it, both the song and concert was over; the crowd still continued to go wild and obviously weren’t ready for the end. They seemed to love the song and didn’t have an issue with Talia.

  She smiled before she kissed Kaz and said to the crowd via her mic, “It sounds to me like Tacoma isn’t ready for this concert to end so how about an encore? How about an oldie but goodie penned by a few fellas known as Merrill and Hooker? They’re part of a British band called Arrows and they wrote a song Joan Jett & The Blackhearts made famous. I know you wanna hear it because everyone at this concert loves rock and roll!” she yelled.

  Jaden and Grant immediately started playing the start of “I Love Rock ‘n’ Roll” as Talia grabbed Kaz’s hand. “How about this hot sex-god sing it with me?”

  The crowd went crazy then and he laughed but he was all
too happy to accommodate Talia. She had talent, charisma—the whole package—so why the hell was she stuck with a loser like Seth Delvecchio who wasn’t good enough to eat her out let alone fuck her night after night? He finally realized why Kris was so taken with her.

  The lights dimmed on stage as the lights in the vast arena began to light up as they all walked off stage. Syd busily clicked away with her camera before she stared into his eyes. There was so much he wanted to say to her, including a much-needed apology regarding his behavior earlier that day but when their eyes locked, nothing else mattered but the sheer attraction they radiated for each other.

  Kaz grabbed her by her waist and enveloped her in an embrace though his body was covered with sweat.

  “I’ll meet you at the after party. I want to go shower and change.”

  Syd turned toward him as he held her from behind. “That was a really great concert. You and Talia have great on-stage chemistry. Looks like Winter’s Regret just passed up a number one hit due to Seth’s temper and jealousy of his girlfriend’s talent.”