Charles dropped the lights back into the box. “I say we buy all new ones.”
“We’re not buying a new set when we’ve got a perfectly good set right here. Now, shoo and let us take care of it.” Gail practically pushed the guys out of the room and then turned back to face me. “Now. Where were we?”
“Umm…I think we’re about done with the ornaments, so maybe we could try working on the lights?”
“That would be a good plan,” she said. Then we cleared off a couple of spaces on the couch as I took one knotted pile and she took another. “Heavens, there must be an easier way to do this. You’d think after all these years we’d have a system down pat.”
“Nah. Gives you something to argue over every year.”
“Mmm, that’s true.” Gail peeked at me from under her lashes. “Speaking of couples who argue…how are you and Richard getting along these days?”
“Like a house on fire.”
She laughed, finally managing to get one strand loose. “The stories you tell, my sweet.”
“We have our moments.”
“That you do. And by the way, since chances are I’ll never get another chance to say this, congratulations on marrying my son. I should have both your hides for not inviting us.”
“I figured you’d say you’d have our hides for doing it in the first place.”
“Oh, Paige. You know I’d do just about anything to have you as a daughter-in-law. I’ve never hidden that.”
“Well, it is your fault we ended up married, since you coerced him to babysit me that night.”
“I did no such thing.”
“You did. I saw the look.”
Gail set the light strand down in her lap. “You know as well as I do that Richard would never do anything he didn’t want to.” Then she went back to unraveling the mess. “Same goes for you.”
She was right about that. And as much as Dawson loved his family, I doubted he would’ve agreed to give up his prowling time just because his parents had asked.
There was something else gnawing at me, though.
“Gail…can I ask you a question?” I said.
“Of course you can.”
“I’ve always wondered…how do you stay friends with them?”
“Your parents?” When I nodded, Gail let out a sigh. “It’s not easy sometimes. Especially when you remember the people they used to be. Time changes so much. So does money.”
“But my parents have always had money.”
“Eh…” She tilted her head from side to side. “Extreme money changes people. Not that your parents are bad people, but…well, we’re not all as close as we used to be. And, truth be told, we didn’t want to lose you.”
I jerked my head up in surprise. “Me?”
“Of course you. We’d always considered you one of ours. I hope you don’t mind me saying that. It’s just…you and Richard were so close…and we’d always wanted a daughter. After Richard was born, we weren’t able to…well…” She shook her head. “We were meant to have what we were meant to have.”
“You got a pretty good one. Don’t tell him I said that.”
She beamed. “I like to think so too. Lord knows he has his moments, and he’s stubborn as a bull. But then I think you know that too. It’s why you’re so magnetic together.”
I let out a laugh. “Magnetic? Me and Dawson?”
“You were attached at the hip for so many years. And even when you’ve been…well, whatever it is you’ve been, you’re always circling each other, but never getting too close. It’s always reminded me of the way magnets work. Try to push you together when you’re out of sync, and, well, it only makes you rebel. But when you’re together, almost nothing could pry you apart. Probably makes no sense to you, but that’s my logic, and I’m stickin’ to it.”
“No,” I said, chewing on my lip. “No, it makes perfect sense.”
“You know… I don’t think he’s ever quite gotten over losing you.” When my head shot up, she reached over to squeeze my hand. “You were his constant for so long. That can’t be surprising.”
I couldn’t seem to find my breath, because it was one thing to feel the same way, but it was another to hear the words come out of his mom’s mouth. I finally managed to swallow. “But he’s…been fine. We’ve been fine. You move on, and I’m sure you’ve met some of the people he’s moved on with—”
“Never.”
“What?”
“He’s never brought anyone home.”
I found that hard to believe, but then again, considering we’d both been playing the field of one-night-stands for years, that didn’t exactly make for relationships long enough to bring the person home to Mom and Dad. I sure as hell wouldn’t have brought anyone home, even if I had been on good terms with my parents.
Gail moved the box of lights separating us and scooted closer to me on the couch, and then her hands stilled mine. “Paige, I want you to know we love you. And no matter what happens between you two, you’re a member of this family whether you like it or not. Though I’m hoping you like it, because like Charles said, I’d hate to have to drag you here. You got it?”
“Got it.” I gave her a small smile, my insides feeling warm, the way I supposed most people felt around their families.
Gail pulled me in toward her then, her arms going around me in a big bear hug that I hadn’t realized I’d needed. As she held me, I thought over our conversation, about the way she’d described mine and Dawson’s relationship, how he’d never “gotten over losing me.” Had I ever really gotten over losing him? My eyes stung as we hugged each other, and that was the moment Dawson decided to round the corner, a big storage container in his arms and his mouth open, as if he was about to spout off something sarcastic. Our gazes met briefly before I let mine drop. I knew he could see exactly what was in mine, but I didn’t want to answer the questions I saw in his.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
Confessions of a Twat
“I’VE MISSED YOUR parents,” I said later that night, after we’d gotten back to my house and had taken to the living room. It felt like a reflective sort of night after spending the day with him and his family like old times, and it didn’t feel right to head off to separate bedrooms like strangers. Instead, Dawson had built a fire, and I watched him stoke the flames as I curled up on one end of the couch with an oversized sherpa blanket and a cup of hot cocoa.
He put the poker away and joined me on the couch, sitting on the far end from where I sat. He stretched his arm out along the back and said, “They’ve missed you too. You should come by more.”
“I will. If that’s okay with you.”
“Of course it’s okay with me. But even if it wasn’t, they’re just as much yours as they are mine.”
I took a sip of my cocoa and then laid my head on the back of the couch where I faced him. “Where did this sweetness come from, huh?”
“I am my parents’ son.”
“That you are.” And just like that, the words I’d had floating around in my brain all day came spilling out. I hadn’t meant them to, but if it wasn’t said now, it never would be. “Dawson…I’m sorry.”
“For implying I’m anything other than sugar in raw form? No need.”
Setting my mug on the coffee table, I said, “No. I’m sorry for…” Pretending to hate you? Pushing you away? “For not being your friend.”
Dawson’s mouth parted at my confession; he seemed stunned that I’d finally acknowledged what had taken years to talk about. He ran his fingers through his hair and then leaned his head against his hand. “Wow. I wasn’t expecting that.”
“I like to keep you on your toes.”
“You definitely do that. Always.” Then he shook his head. “One day at the Dawson homestead and she’s apologizing. I should’ve had you over a long time ago.”
“Takes a while to swallow your pride.”
“In that case… I’m sorry too.”
“For?”
“It takes two t
o play our game, Paige. I’m not innocent either.”
His eyes were steady on mine, but they were too intense, the mood too heavy, and I shifted uncomfortably. “You’re right. Innocent is not a word that would ever describe you.”
“Thank fuck for that,” he said, not skipping a beat at the change in mood. “So. You’re sorry. I’m sorry. Where do we go from here?”
“Well, I don’t actually hate you, so there’s that important fact.”
“No?” His lips curved up. “So you like me? Is that it?”
“That’s not what I said.”
“You like me. I see right through you, Pita.”
“Shut up. That’s not what I was implying.”
“I know you know you like me.”
“You’re full of shit.”
“You know,” he said, pointing at me to drive the point home while he smiled that stupid, simpering smile I’d always hated. Really, I had. “That I know that you know you like me.”
I threw a pillow at his head. “What are we, fifteen? I tolerate you.”
“Is that what we’re calling it? Like the way you tolerated me last night?”
“See? You’re a master antagonizer. That’s your game.”
Dawson let out a full belly laugh. “But it works like a charm.”
Before I could respond to that, Dawson’s cell went off. He dug it out of his pocket, glanced at it briefly, and hit ignore.
“So, where were we?” he said, and the sentence had barely come out of his mouth before his phone went off again.
“You can get that. I won’t be offended,” I said.
He silenced it again. “If I wanted to, I would.”
“Fair enough.”
But the third time it went off, I was ready to answer it for him.
“You can go, you know,” I said.
His brow furrowed. “Go? Go where?”
“Out. Dancing. Wherever.”
“I build you a fire and you kick me out? I see how it is.”
“No, I mean, this isn’t a part of my father’s mandate. We’re not required to spend time together, and I know you’ve got at least ten invitations sitting on your phone right now—”
“As do you, but I haven’t seen you out partying it up every night, per usual. Why?”
I didn’t have the answer to that. Other than the night at Jumbo’s, my desire to put on my dancing shoes and flirt with every guy I saw had been the last thing on my mind.
Ignoring his question, I said, “Why are you here?”
“Silly Paige. It must’ve slipped your mind, but…I live here, remember?”
No, I hadn’t forgotten, because he’d been in my face, in my head, hell, in my body, and there’d been no getting away, and the worst part about that was I hadn’t really wanted to. Not even a little bit. Dawson was breaking down my walls, and I wasn’t sure how to process that. It’d been so long since I’d let a guy in…since I’d let him in, and I just didn’t know if I was capable of opening myself up for another round of heartache. Because that was where it would inevitably lead.
As my gaze landed on the fire, the flames blurred. Oh sweet hell, who was I and what was the wet stuff leaking out of my eyes?
Dawson had to be thinking the same thing, but he didn’t say a word as he pulled a tissue from the decorative box on the coffee table and then leaned over the blankets to dab at the wetness on my cheeks.
“God, Dawson,” I said, closing my eyes. “Why are you here?”
“Because I live for these moments when I can make you cry,” he said.
His teasing couldn’t crack a smile from me, though, and when I opened my eyes, I grabbed his wrist, stopping him mid-blot. “I’m serious.” I searched his face, trying to find his true intentions, but when his gaze dropped to my lips, I released the hold I had on him. With a sigh, he fell back against his side of the couch, crumpling the tissue in his hand before tossing it on the table.
“I don’t know, Paige. Maybe it’s just that I want to spend time with you.”
Getting to his feet, he went back over to the fireplace, picked up the poker, and stabbed a few of the logs. He didn’t say anything else, and he didn’t look back at me either, so I took the opportunity to wipe all evidence of my outburst off my face.
“I’m sorry for crying. I don’t know where that came from.”
“Don’t apologize for the way you feel. Ever. You’ve had a hell of a day, and it’s okay to not be strong all the time. You don’t have to put on a smile and make a snarky comment because everyone expects it.”
Damn. Dawson was preaching all kinds of truth tonight. The kind I’d normally be dishing out if my emotions weren’t all over the fucking place. I barely recognized myself lately.
“Why are you being so nice to me? I’ve treated you like a pariah all this time,” I said. “Why do you put up with me?”
“And why do you constantly question my motives? Not everyone has bad intentions, Paige. Not everyone wants something from you.”
A smile twisted my lips. “You saying you don’t want anything from me?”
“Well…” His eyes turned heated. “Nothing you aren’t willing to give.”
I shook my head. “I think you just like a challenge.”
“You’re right. I do. But Paige, I’m not stupid. Saying you’re a challenge doesn’t mean you’re a game to be won or some wild animal that needs to be tamed. Hell, no one could do that anyway, and certainly not me. But the right person would never want to change you. They’d just…” His gaze fell to the dying embers, and he gently stoked them back to life with the poker.
The silence in the room was deafening as I waited with bated breath for the rest of his thoughts, but when they didn’t come, I got the feeling he didn’t want to finish what he’d started. But I had to know, so I prodded. “They’d what?”
“They’d just want to enjoy the ride with you.” His eyes flitted up to meet mine, and the fire I saw there wasn’t a reflection of the flames below. They were the desire of a man who knew exactly what he wanted. “Paige—”
“Come here,” I said, my voice thick with emotion, and as he put the poker back in place and crossed the room toward me, I knew without a doubt that what happened next would change me. Would change us. And as much as that scared me, I found myself reaching up for him anyway.
His mouth came down hard on mine, brooking no argument, not allowing for anything other than total submission. And as I pulled him down onto the couch and straddled him, I kissed him back with the urgency I’d pent up for years.
Now that I wasn’t fighting him or trying to deny our attraction, I could take the time to explore, to taste the sweetness of his tongue, and to feel the soft threads of his long hair through my fingers. His arms were strong and firm around me, telling me with no uncertainty that he was not letting me go. With one of his arms circled around my waist, the other came up to grip the back of my neck, pulling me closer as he greedily stole the air from my lungs.
In the back of my mind came the wonderment that I could touch him like this. Freely and because I wanted to. And from the way he urged me on, because he wanted me to as well.
I could feel him growing harder beneath me, and I spread my legs wider on either side of him to get myself closer, rocking back and forth slightly. He groaned into my mouth, his fingers tightening in my hair as he pressed me harder down onto him. Then I leaned back and got to my feet, undoing my pants and slipping my hands inside the waistband of my lace thong. I pushed them both down to the ground and then stepped out of them before reassuming my position over him.
“You have to know you’re fucking beautiful,” he said, his eyes hooded as he took my lips again in a kiss that showed me more than even his words could. His hands went to my waist, stroking the smooth skin there before moving them lower, his fingers lightly running over my wet core. He didn’t tease me long, sinking one of his fingers deep inside me before another joined, and I squeezed them tight, eliciting another groan.
My hands dropped to his hips, sliding back and underneath to run along his ass, and I reached into one of his back pockets for his wallet. He knew what I was going for, and he quickly pulled the foil packet out of one of the folds. As he tore it open, I unbuttoned and unzipped his jeans, and he lifted up just enough to let me slide them and his boxers down so that his erection sprang up between us.
This time it wasn’t about one-upping each other or playing games. It was a coming together, this time of body and mind.
After he’d sheathed himself, I lifted up to my knees and slowly took him inch by inch, letting myself revel in the feel of him. When he filled me completely, we were both breathing hard, and I couldn’t stop myself from saying, “You feel so good inside me, Dawson. So damn good…”
His lips never left mine as we moved in sync, slowly at first, a gentle sway that soon led to more desperate cravings. I held him close, never coming up for air as we chased the heights of where we could go—together. And as our moans became louder, our hips moving faster, I felt as though my heart was following suit, like it was so full it would burst once I hit my climax.
“Paige,” Dawson said, panting against my lips. But he didn’t have to say the words for me to know he felt the same. I saw them in his eyes.
I cupped his cheek and said, “I know,” before fusing our mouths back together and taking him as deep as I could, and just as I called out his name, our orgasms threw us into wild oblivion.
We went on all night, our clothes coming off piece by piece, no rush, just exploring each other. He was as insatiable as I was, never stopping long before he had to be inside me again. I savored every touch, every kiss, and every thrust like it was the first time. Tonight would be seared into my memory forever—the night I’d finally realized what it felt like to make love. Dawson had given me another first, and I couldn’t help but hold out some small bit of hope that maybe this thing, whatever it was between us, might be something lasting.
It was hours later when the fire had dulled to a smolder and we’d finally worn each other to exhaustion, and, too tired to head to one of our rooms, had curled up together on the couch. My back was against his front, and one of his arms lay protectively across my chest. And it felt…unbelievably right. Like this was the way it should’ve been all along and I’d been too blind or too stubborn to see it. Probably a mix of both.
P.I.T.A. (L.A. Liaisons Book 3) Page 15