Dearest Friends

by Pamela Lynne

  Darcy nodded and thanked both of the ladies for their advice. He decided to seek out Georgiana as soon as he returned home and talk to her about Ramsgate, not as an angry brother but as a compassionate friend. He was still unsure if he could take on this new role. What he knew, however, as he sat in the presence of two sage and loving women, was he was thankful to no longer be alone.

  Chapter Eight

  * * *

  Darcy paced his study while waiting for his sister to arrive. He felt confident after speaking to Elizabeth and her aunt, but by the time he arrived at his townhouse, he doubted his ability to discuss the matter calmly. It had taken two more visits with Elizabeth before his courage rose enough to attempt the conversation.

  “Friends. I should try to be friends with her,” he thought out loud as he came to a stop in front of the brandy container. “Brandy. I would offer a friend brandy.” He shook his head and walked away. “I cannot give my sister drink. She would likely fall asleep after a few sips. Blast! I have not been this uncomfortable with her since she first started her courses. She is not going to want to talk about that, is she?” He paled and stepped back to the decanter. He poured a little into a glass and downed it quickly. Elizabeth and her aunt made it sound so natural. Talking about his feelings was never easy, however, except with Elizabeth. “God, I wish she was here.”

  On the other side of the door, Miss Darcy was consumed with her own fit of nervous pacing. Her brother had not requested her company in weeks. They had only seen each other at meal times since his return from Hertfordshire. His mood had been very somber, more so than usual. She assumed it was because he found her company so irksome. What did he want with her now? Was he going to send her back to school? Was he going home to Pemberley and leaving her in London? Well, she thought, there is only one way to find out. She opened the door and walked in.

  “You wanted to see me, Brother?” Georgiana said as she looked down at her folded hands.

  “Yes, Georgie, please come sit,” Darcy said, trying to keep his tone light. “How are you, my dear?”

  “I am well, Fitzwilliam. Are you?” Georgiana asked cautiously.

  Darcy smiled warmly and took her hand. “I am, Georgie. In fact, I have never been so well.”

  Georgiana’s expression was curious, but she could not help but return her brother’s smile as she raised her eyebrows questioningly.

  “I have entered a courtship with a young lady. Her name is Elizabeth Bennet.” Darcy’s smile grew at the mention of her name.

  Georgiana tried to cool her features against her astonishment. She was happy for her brother, but the lightness that had come over his face as he spoke was a bit disarming. She had never seen him as such.

  “Elizabeth Bennet? You met her in Hertfordshire. I remember you mentioning her in your letters while you were visiting Mr. Bingley.”

  “Yes. I saw her again on Monday as we were both at the bookshop. I did not know she was in town. Indeed, I thought I would never see her again. It was my good fortune that we happened to be there at the same time. She is currently living with her uncle. I have called on her there this week. I am going tomorrow morning again and would like for you to come with me. I am anxious for you to meet her.”

  Panic rose in Georgiana as she rose from the sofa and once again started pacing. She placed her hands over her stomach and shook her head. The confidence she found after managing her cousin vanished at the thought of meeting the woman her brother would likely marry. Surely Miss Bennet would hate her.

  “No, Fitzwilliam. I cannot come with you. I cannot meet her.”

  Darcy stepped to her and clasped her hands, slightly alarmed by her manner. “Why ever not, Georgie?”

  “Because,” she began as tears rolled down her cheeks. “It is obvious you care for her, so she must be perfect. I am sure that she is all things good and virtuous. What if she looks at me and can tell that I am . . . not?”

  Darcy enfolded the girl in his arms and, not knowing what to say, let her cry. He led her back to the sofa and waited for her to calm before he spoke.

  “Georgiana, you will find that Elizabeth is very kind. She does not judge you for what that scoundrel talked you into doing.”

  “She knows?” Georgiana was horrified.

  “Yes, I told her. Georgie, she has met Wickham. She even considered him a friend before she discovered the truth about him. She was deceived by him, too. You will see that she is very understanding.”

  “How does she know him?”

  “He joined the militia and was stationed at Hertfordshire.”

  “Was?”

  “I believe he is no longer there. Elizabeth’s aunt hailed from Lambton and had heard of Wickham’s ways through her family there. Her husband went to Hertfordshire to deal with him before he could hurt anybody.”

  “Good.”

  “Georgiana, I must apologize for having failed you so miserably. I never told you the truth about Wickham because I did not think he would show himself again after our last encounter. I never fathomed he would try to hurt me through you. Then, when you needed me, I ran away to Hertfordshire to avoid the pain in your eyes and in my own heart. I am a terrible coward.”

  She shook her head. “No, Fitzwilliam. You tried to speak to me for weeks, and I refused. I could not bear to look at you, knowing how disappointed you were. I cannot begin to tell you how sorry I am.”

  “Why did you accept his attentions, Georgie? And why did you not tell me he was calling on you?” He did not try to disguise the hurt in his voice.

  “I was so lonely, Fitzwilliam,” Georgiana spoke through her tears. “I never told you the truth when you asked me about school. I told you I was happy because I did not want to worry you, but the girls there were horrible. The ones with titles would not speak to those of us who had none, and they made up the majority of the school.

  “There were some who were kind to me, but when their mothers came to visit, all they would talk about was you. It was pretty clear they were more interested in making a match with my brother than being my friend. I eventually stopped trying and just kept to myself. I was relieved when you decided not to send me back but instead established the residence for me in Ramsgate.”

  She paused to calm herself before she moved on. She recalled her life in Ramsgate and began to speak in a steady tone, trying to keep control of her emotions.

  “Mrs. Younge was unlike any lady I had met. She did not treat me as a child. She allowed me to set my own schedule. I could play the pianoforte as much as I wished, without regard to my other studies. She allowed me to read novels instead of poetry or histories. She spoke to me about men.” Her blush deepened as she recalled those conversations.

  “She thought it was foolish for me to wait until seventeen to be out in society. She said there were too many women in society and not enough men and the longer a lady waits, the less likely she will find love. It was always love that she spoke of, not marriage or stability or even honor. ‘What good is respectability if one is lonely?’ is what she said.”

  She looked at her brother, who was struggling to control his anger over the well-planned seduction. She took a deep breath and continued.

  “We were walking on the beach one day when we met Mr. Wickham. He was charming and attentive. I saw him every day for the next week. He would talk about Pemberley and you and Father with so much affection, and it felt as if he were already family. When he told me he loved me, I could scarcely believe it. It was just as it was in novels: the steward’s son and the gentleman’s daughter, together against the world. I thought it very romantic.

  “I let him convince me not to tell you, that it should be a surprise when we arrived at Pemberley as man and wife. By that time, I had allowed so many liberties that I was sure I was no longer a maiden and getting married as soon as possible was best.”

  Her composure gave way to another round of sobs as Darcy helplessly looked on. When it seemed she was out of tears, he spoke as gently as he could.

>   “I am so sorry, Georgie. I should have warned you.”

  “Fitzwilliam, he did not force himself on me. I allowed him to touch me because I wanted him to. So you see; I am not fit to be seen with your Miss Bennet.”

  “Yes, Georgiana, I know you wanted him to. That is what I should have warned you about.”

  Darcy rubbed his hand over his face and tried to speak, but no words came forth. He rose and made is way to the brandy. He poured two glasses, one quite full, and the other probably fuller than was wise. He handed one to his sister and sat next to her.

  “Drink that slowly,” he advised as she looked into the glass hesitantly. She took a slow sip and then raised her eyebrows in appreciation. Wonderful, I have added more fuel to her inner Fitzwilliam, Darcy thought as he watched her enjoy the brandy. He cleared his throat and hoped he could find the right words before she became inebriated.

  “Georgiana, what you felt for Wickham was not unnatural, just misguided. I am unsure of what the established mode is in speaking of such things to young ladies. It is likely you should remain ignorant until right before marriage. It is different with you, however. You will always be tempted to allow your baser desires to overrule your reason.”

  “Why do you say that, Brother?” she asked before she took another, longer drink.

  “Because, like me, Richard, Sebastian, and Uncle Henry, you are a Fitzwilliam. Self-control does not come naturally for us.”

  Georgiana looked upon her brother disbelievingly. “No one has greater self-control than you, Brother. It is the only reason Mr. Wickham is still alive.”

  “That is because I have the good fortune also to be a Darcy. I had Father to look to as an example of how to behave. I also had Mother to admonish me against following the same path as her relations. I should have given you the same consideration. When I was about your age, Father explained to me the concept of marital relations.”

  The siblings simultaneously gulped their drinks.

  “He told me that it was a gift from our creator to be shared only with one’s spouse. To partake with anyone else, no matter how pleasant it felt at the time, would be immoral and loathsome.”

  Georgiana lowered her head in shame. Darcy reached over and clasped her hand in his.

  “He also told me how great a temptation it would be to engage in the act before marriage, that it would be one of my greatest challenges to abstain. He was correct, and unfortunately, I failed that challenge.”

  He was still unsure disclosing his private behavior, no matter how he felt about his actions, was the proper course to take. She had not completely lost her innocence, but he could tell she felt as if she had.

  Georgiana’s head snapped up to look at her brother. In his face, she saw the same guilt that shown whenever she looked in the mirror. She squeezed his hand supportively.

  “I cannot tell you how I regret it, Georgie, especially now that I have met Elizabeth. How I wish I could enter our union as chaste as she. It is only one of the ways I am unworthy of her.” Darcy’s voice trembled as he felt the truth of those words.

  Georgiana could never believe him unworthy of anybody. He was all that was good but was as imperfect as she.

  “So we are both sad excuses for Darcys.”

  Darcy smiled. “Only if we cease our endeavors to be sad excuses for Fitzwilliams. Is not redemption the very heart of our faith, Georgie? We both made mistakes. We were changed by them, but they need not control us. Please forgive yourself. You will never be whole if you let the shame of your actions linger. You shall conquer this.”

  Georgiana smiled lovingly. It had always been him, never her father or even Richard. It was always Fitzwilliam who made the monsters go away. He was always her hero. At that moment, reality dawned on her bright and clear. He was always her hero, and she betrayed him. Her heart broke anew as she realized how much she must have hurt him.

  “Oh, Fitzwilliam. I am so sorry. You have always protected me and loved me, especially when our father could not. I repay your steadfastness by taking the first opportunity to align myself with your enemy. Can you ever forgive me?”

  Darcy once again embraced his sister. While she sobbed into his shoulder, he made his own confession.

  “Georgie, I admit I was hurt by your actions, so much that I had to leave. I should not have left you to deal with this on your own. Let us forgive one another and begin again.”

  Georgie pulled away from him and nodded. “Thank you,” she said as she wiped away her tears. “You are too good, Brother. Now, tell me more about your lady. How did you meet her?”

  Darcy smiled, happy to have the opportunity to boast of his beloved.

  “We were introduced at an assembly shortly after our party arrived in the county.”

  “Did you ask her to dance?”

  “No. I was in a foul mood and only danced with Bingley’s sisters out of obligation. I barely spoke to anybody, but I am sure I must have insulted her somehow because she was coolly civil on subsequent meetings. She refused to dance with me twice.”

  “Oh my. And it was her refusals that attracted you, Brother?” Georgiana asked archly.

  “In a way, yes. So many women court my favor. It was refreshing to find one who did not care whether I looked at her or not. She actually argued with me and challenged my opinions, though I am not convinced she actually disagreed with me. She gets such a fire behind her eyes when she finds an object on which to sharpen her rapier wit. God, to be that object for the rest of my days,” he said somewhat dreamily, forgetting his company for a moment.

  “Careful, Brother, your Fitzwilliam is showing,” she teased. “When did you know you loved her?”

  “I think I first suspected it when she came to Netherfield to care for her sister who had fallen ill during a visit there. She walked the three miles from her father’s estate and arrived looking fresh and alive. She took great care of her sister, and I could not help but think she would do the same for you.”

  Georgiana smiled, but then saw a shadow cross Darcy’s features.

  “What is it?”

  “Mentioning her sister reminded me of the troubles we are facing. She has had to leave her home to escape an unwanted betrothal. She will not be free to marry me until she comes of age in two months.”

  “Oh, how horrible. Two months is not such a long time to wait, but she must miss her sister terribly. Does she have any contact with her?”

  “Two months is a terribly long time to have to wait, Georgie. She does not have contact with any of her family. They were not supportive of her decision. In fact, the sister she cared for so selflessly was quite cruel.”

  “Poor Miss Bennet. I shall endeavor to be the very best of sisters so that she will not miss her at all. I have always wanted a sister.”

  Darcy beamed. “Thank you, Georgie.”

  She blessed her brother with a brilliant smile then cocked her head and asked, “Do we still own the estate in Scotland?”

  “Yes. It is unoccupied at present. After the last tenants left, I decided not to lease it out again and hired a steward to maintain it. The house is closed up, and I do not even have a housekeeper.”

  “How long do you think it would take to open it?”

  “I would say a few weeks. I have already written a letter,” he said with a sly smile.

  “Of course you have, my dear, impatient brother. I, for one, would love to see you marry at Pemberley. Just be sure she is pleased with whatever arrangements are finally made. And bring her home as soon as you can, Fitzwilliam. It is good to see you happy.”

  Finishing his brandy, Darcy stood, and then he placed his empty glass on the table. He walked to his desk, leaned against it, and crossed his arms on his chest. He blew out a deep breath and spoke.

  “She will have to meet the family. I want you to plan a dinner for next week. You can ask Elizabeth and her aunt tomorrow what night they are free.”

  “Me?” she asked with no little alarm.

  “Yes, you, dear quest
ioning sister. Until Elizabeth comes home, you are mistress of this house and therefore are in charge of entertaining. I have every faith in you, Georgiana; I know you will do an excellent job.”

  Georgiana smiled appreciatively. Though nervous, she was happy to have the opportunity to please her brother. Just hours earlier, she feared she would never have that chance again. They both looked to the door as they heard the bell alerting them dinner was ready.

  Darcy offered Georgiana his arm and escorted her to the smaller dining room they used when it was just them, where they ate and discussed all the virtues of one Elizabeth Bennet.

  Chapter Nine

  * * *

  The carriage carrying two anxious Darcys to Gracechurch Street rattled down the busy London road. Georgiana was nervously tapping her foot while looking out the window. She had never been to that particular part of town before, and she was curious to see what was so different about it. She had heard Lady Susan, Richard’s mother, say that the lower classes were rough and ill-mannered and lived in squalor in the dirtiest places in the city. To hear her talk, it would seem she was about to enter the first level of hell, not the modest but clean neighborhood she observed outside her window. The people on the street did not seem to be spawns of the devil but actually looked no different than the people of Mayfair. I always did think she was a pompous old windbag.

  Sitting across from her, Darcy was lost in his own thoughts about the neighborhood they were driving through. He wondered why Mr. Gardiner, who was obviously very successful in his business, had not moved to a more fashionable part of town. Perhaps he was saving to buy an estate. That would make sense. Did not all tradesmen, like Bingley’s family, desire to become landed gentlemen? Perhaps he could find a small estate in Derbyshire that would suit them. Elizabeth would be happy to have them close. He smiled at that thought and decided to speak to Mr. Gardiner about it the next time he saw him.