by Pamela Lynne
Richard chuckled good-naturedly. “I suffer no delusions there. Anne is sweet and playful and very precious to me, but I do not know that what we have is love, at least not in the same sense as our dear cousins here or even the Gardiners. There is certainly infatuation combined with a great deal of lust, but I have faith that it will grow into more with time. Like she said, we have our whole lives.”
“I am happy for you, Richard. I do not particularly care for your way of getting a wife, but Anne will be good for you. Having people to care for will help give you a sense of purpose, and I do not mean just your wife and children, but the people of your estate and all those who depend on it. If you care for it properly, Rosings will become precious to you as well.”
Both brothers ruminated on Darcy’s words while his thoughts drifted back to his wife. He had been called proud by more than one person in his life, and it had never been truer than that evening. This simple country girl who lacked the proper education, wealth, and connections could be the next ruler of high society if she wanted to be, but she chose to live a quiet life with him instead. Her charm, wit, and beauty, combined with her composure under scrutiny, made her a real force of nature. She had told him before they left that she was leaving her mask at home and challenged him to do the same.
“Do you not see, Fitzwilliam,” she had said. “You have already won the game. You should enjoy your prize; show them what it means to be happy.”
He did just that. For the first time since he came of age, he smiled in a ballroom. He danced several dances, though he still did not go outside his own party, and he carried on a conversation with a group of aging matrons about how pleased he was with married life. The old biddies actually fussed over him and called him a dear boy. The men in the room, however, were not as chaste in their observations. Though jealous of his good fortune, they were satisfied with the knowledge that they had been right all those years: Darcy just needed a woman.
“I believe my wife is tiring. I think we shall leave. Goodnight.”
“But, Darcy,” Sebastian called to his retreating form, “are we not to toast Richard’s nuptials tonight?”
He simply stated no as he walked away from his laughing cousins. The Darcys spent the next half hour saying their goodbyes before departing for their townhouse. By the time they arrived home, Elizabeth was vocalizing her great pleasure at having such a solicitous husband who had the intelligence and forethought to order two carriages.
********
“Miss Bennet, it is time for our dance, but perhaps you would like to sit and talk instead.”
“Yes, Mr. Elliot, I believe I would like to sit for a while. I find that I do not feel very well at present.”
He led her to a quiet corner and offered to fetch a drink. She refused, and they sat in silence for a few moments. He noticed she was a bit more composed after a while, so he started the conversation he knew he needed to have with her.
“You seem to be fortunate in your friends, Miss Bennet. They all seem to care a great deal about your well-being.”
She smiled for the first time that night, though it was only faint. “I am, sir. I spent my life without a single friend until my sister became betrothed to Mr. Darcy. Now I have an abundance.”
“It seemed you were not pleased with your friend just now.”
Mary shook her head. “It was not her. She was behaving poorly, but it was my own reactions that I was unhappy with. I am experiencing emotions that are entirely foreign to me. I feel like the most wretched being on earth.”
He smiled gently. “You are hardly wretched, Miss Bennet. You are human, and humans feel a wide variety of emotions. You are unaccustomed to feeling, Miss Bennet?”
“There is not much room in my family for an individual’s feelings. My mother’s take up most of the space, leaving little room for the rest of us to have anything other than longing.”
“Your uncle explained your family’s situation to me. I am very sorry about your father.”
“You spoke to my uncle?”
“Yes, and to your brother. You must know, Miss Bennet, why Viscount Hedley introduced us.”
She nodded and looked down. “He is concerned about my future.”
“He is in love with you.”
She turned her head to look at him. His tone was not accusatory; he was merely stating fact. She said nothing in response, just returned her gaze to the floor.
“I can see plainly how he feels, and frankly, it does not concern me. I am concerned, however, about how you feel.”
Mary breathed in and looked at him again. “I feel that tomorrow Viscount Hedley will make an offer of marriage to Miss Gandy. I feel that I need to think of my own situation as it relates to me alone. I feel that I will lead my life the best way I can regardless of what the viscount or any of my friends do with theirs.”
In starting the conversation, he was not looking for a denial, but a promise. He was satisfied. “Well then, Miss Bennet, shall we discuss the future?”
********
Elizabeth was surprised by Darcy’s composure as they entered their townhouse and deposited their outerwear with the servants. Considering what had occurred inside the carriage and his promise of what would occur inside their bedchamber, one would think he would seem at least a little out of sorts.
In his usual manner, he thanked those around them and warned them that his cousins would likely show up later and that under no circumstance should they be allowed to disturb him. They walked hand in hand up the staircase to their chamber, where Darcy’s composure immediately slipped away as the door closed.
Expecting to be thoroughly ravished upon entering their rooms, Elizabeth was again surprised by her husband’s actions. His intent was clear: he was going to love her, and it would indeed be a thorough ravishing, but not the hard and fast coupling that she had anticipated. His movements were slow and deliberate, leading her to the knowledge that rather than be taken, she would be devoured.
Keeping his promise, he pressed her against the wall, bringing her legs to wrap around his waist. His hands traveled up her dress to cup her round bottom while his mouth slowly moved over her neck and shoulders.
“Elizabeth, do you have any idea what you do to me?”
The glimmer in her eye and slight curve of her lips gave him the answer, and he released her, turning her around and placing her hands against the wall above her head. His palms ran smoothly down her arms to her shoulders then to her back. He leaned in and nipped the skin of her neck as his fingers worked the buttons of her gown. He unlaced her corset before bringing her arms down to remove it and the dress at the same time. His hands moved around to massage her breasts then traveled down her flat stomach to the hem of her chemise. Once it was discarded, his lips returned to her neck while he relegated her petticoats to the pile. The stockings and garters could wait.
He put her hands back on the wall and stepped back to remove his own clothing. He placed his hands beside hers and leaned in to nibble at her ear, then her neck, then all the way down her spine. When he reached the curve of her lower back, he grasped her hips and gently turned her around.
Elizabeth breathed heavily in anticipation. She had worked hard to make a good impression at the ball. More than once, she wanted to deliver a biting retort to some envious society lass or a slap across the face to a lecherous old man. She maintained propriety, however, knowing at the end of the night Darcy would be her reward. She ran her fingers through his hair as he settled in at her center. He had already pleasured her thoroughly in the carriage, but if he desired more, she was of no mind to stop him.
Darcy continued his slow pace as his tongue moved over her most sensitive areas. She was becoming impatient. He could tell by the movement of her hips against him, but he was in no hurry. Loving her this way—tasting her, feeling her tremble, hearing her moans—was nearly as rapturous as reaching his own peak. For him, this was sheer bliss, and he would give Pemberley to be able to stay there forever.
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��Will.”
The sound of her pleading reached him, and he finally allowed her to fall into that sweet oblivion where the world falls away and the only sensation is pleasure and the only sound is the pounding heartbeat of your lover.
He reluctantly gave up his position at her feet and pulled her into a searing kiss, pressing her flushed skin against his. He lifted her and carried her to a settee across the room. He put her down, and she moved to sit, but he stopped her. Instead, he again turned her around and lifted one of her legs to rest on the seat. She leaned back into him and moaned as one hand palmed her breast and the other explored her folds. She reached behind and pulled him into a kiss, encouraging his tongue to dance with her own. It was his turn to moan as she began a slow grind, pushing her soft bottom against his throbbing member He released her mouth and pressed against her shoulders, causing her to lean forward slightly. He grasped her hips and pulled her back, entering her in one long, hard thrust.
Elizabeth braced herself against the back of the settee as he continued the blessed rhythm that was once again sending her to the edge. Darcy knew he could not hold out long. The novelty of the position, the sounds of their joining, and Elizabeth’s tight passage clenching around him soon had him crying out her name, swearing to the heavens, and professing his undying love. They collapsed together onto the sofa, covering each other in gentle kisses and tender touches until they were recovered enough to move to the bed and start all over again.
********
Sebastian slowly climbed the back stairs of the townhouse while he loosened his cravat. He was drained after the long night of dancing, avoiding former lovers, and begging Mary to speak to him. He could tell her reticence had more to do with exhaustion than anger, but he still felt an overwhelming desire to comfort her as well as the unyielding ache that came with her refusal.
He knew she would disapprove of what he was about to do, but he needed a release. The emotional hell of the last few days left him weak, and he was desperate to find comfort in the only thing that had ever provided him peace. He walked the dimly lit halls until he found the right door. He released a long breath and lifted his hand to tap lightly. After a long moment that allowed doubt to settle in his chest, the door opened, and he quickly stepped inside.
“Viscount Hedley! Are you in your cups? Why are you in my bedchamber?”
“Please do not be angry with me, Mary. I just want to talk to you. You would not speak to me all night; you did not even look at me when you left.” He took her hands and brought them to his lips. He looked into her eyes as they softened in recognition of his pain. He wrapped his arms around her shoulders and pressed his lips to her forehead.
“I could not bear it if you were to hate me.”
Mary brought her arms up to his neck and allowed the sobs she choked back all evening to flow forth.
“No, I could never hate you. I was so overwhelmed tonight and I knew being with you would make it harder. I am sorry I did not think how I might be hurting you.”
“I am so sorry, Mary. I know that my actions yesterday have caused you much undo stress. You are not the kind of woman who can find herself in that situation and not be affected by it. Am I a selfish rogue because, even though I know it was wrong on so many levels, I would not take it back for the world?”
“Yes, you are,” she said while giving him a slight smile. “It is not your actions or feelings that alarm me. Even in moments of weakness, you would not purposely harm me. It is my own weakness that gives me pause, not only because I kissed you, but also because I allowed my baser emotions to take over my reason.”
“Please do not doubt yourself, Mary. You are everything that is good. I will not have you think less of yourself because I followed my own selfish desires. I told you I was not a good man. Now you know the truth of it.”
She lifted her head from his shoulder and looked him straight in the eye. “I do know the truth of it. I may be the only one who ever knows the exact truth of it because I alone can feel your sacrifice. If I cannot doubt myself, then you cannot do so either.” She pulled away slightly and slid her hands to his face. He relaxed as she caressed his cheeks, amazed how quickly she could forgive him and bring him comfort.
“You are doing the right thing. It is hard now, but with time and distance, surely it will get easier.”
“Distance? Did you and Mr. Elliot not come to an understanding?”
She withdrew from his embrace and walked to sit in a chair by the fireplace. After a moment of watching her, he took a seat on the rug at her feet.
“We did come to an understanding. I know you were hoping to have me settled quickly because you thought that was what I wanted, and I suppose it was. I cannot, however, settle that close to you, at least not right now. I was very nearly sick tonight from the emotions that were taking control of me. I felt things I never want to feel again, and if I had to go to Matlock next month or even two months from now and be in such close proximity to your wife— Sebastian, I cannot. I hated that poor girl as she stood in front of me doing nothing except being polite and even friendly, at least until Anne attacked her.” She sighed in frustration. “I am afraid I am not expressing myself very well.”
He leaned his head back against the chair and looked up at her. “Every time I looked over and saw you speaking to Mr. Elliot, I had to fight the urge to throw him out of the window. I do not see that desire weakening any time soon. What are you going to do?”
“I am going back to Longbourn, and I will stay with my mother wherever she settles. My uncle has agreed to allow Mr. Elliot to write to me. The hope is that we will get to know each other through letters and perhaps come to a deeper understanding in the future. I like him. I think we would do well together, just not at present.”
Sebastian rose to his knees and took her hands. “I remember you telling me that it is not necessary to have great passions in order to have a good life. You are likely correct, Mary, but I wish that you find something that stirs your spirit, even if that something is another man. You cannot deny that though these feelings are painful, they are far superior to feeling nothing. I know you would be satisfied with contentment, but please strive for happiness. Promise me.”
Mary’s tears returned with his plea, and she reached to wipe his away. “I will. Will you do the same? Will you try to love her, even if only as a friend? If you are kind to her, she will be kind in return. Promise me you will try.”
Sebastian nodded. “I will.” He rested his head in her lap and wrapped his arms around her waist.
“Mary, I wish I could love you.” She leaned down and placed her head on his, soaking his hair with her tears.
“I know. Love me by living an honorable life, for nothing would make me happier than seeing you do well.”
He lifted his head and nodded again then stood and pulled her up with him. He embraced her and whispered softly, “I promise I will.”
********
The Fitzwilliams stood in the Darcy great hall and prepared for their separate journeys. The nuptials occurred with no incident. To Elizabeth’s profound relief, all the food at the wedding breakfast was consumed and not used as weapons in the never-ending war between the ladies of Matlock and Rosings.
Anne and Richard were happy, and Anne’s childlike exuberance was infectious, making for a light and fun celebration. The time for goodbyes had come, however, mixing sadness with joy. They passed through the doors and into the London air and felt a slight warmth, giving rise to hope that spring would soon be upon them.
“Be well, Brother,” Sebastian said has he pulled Richard into an embrace. “I promise to be a better correspondent than I was when you were on the continent.”
Richard laughed. “That is good, for I will likely need more encouragement when working with Lady Catherine than I did when fighting Napoleon. Are you sure of your decision, Sebastian?”
“I am, Richard. All will be well.”
Richard nodded and tightened his grip on Sebastian’s shoulder once
more before releasing him and turning to his bride.
“We need to leave, Annie, if we are to make it home before night. Our cousins need to be on their way as well.”
Anne had been clinging to Mary and Georgiana, each of them saying goodbye and making promises through their tears. She moved to embrace Elizabeth and Darcy and then took her place by her husband.
“I wish you all a safe journey. I hope we will be together again soon.” She curtseyed and entered the carriage behind her mother. Richard was much more accustomed to goodbyes, but his emotion showed as he farewelled his family. The carriage for Kent pulled off, leaving those bound for Hertfordshire to say their final goodbyes.
“You will write to me, Sebastian, if you need any help with planting or anything else?” Darcy asked as he shook his cousin’s hand, a first for the pair.
“I will, Darcy. I appreciate all your help.” He turned and smiled down on Elizabeth. “Mrs. Darcy, I hope you will continue to work your charms on my cousin. If all continues as is, I believe I may see him laugh in a year or two.”
“If you have not seen him laugh, Sebastian, perhaps it is because you have not given him reason to. I think you will at least see him frown less in your presence, but that is due to your change more than his.” She reached up to kiss his cheek and spoke softly in his ear. “He is proud of you.”
Sebastian looked surprised but returned her smile. He embraced Georgiana tightly before handing her into the carriage then turned to Mary to do the same. They looked at each other for long moments before he raised her hand to his lips.
“Goodbye, Mary.”
“Goodbye, Viscount.”
Sebastian watched the carriage roll away until he could no longer make it out in the distance. He finally turned when he heard his mother ask if he was coming. He looked to his parents’ carriage then back to the road his friends were traveling.
“No, Mother, I believe I shall walk.”