Clallam Bay (A Fresh Start #2)

by L. C. Morgan

  “Oh, yeah? That’s great.” I nodded. “Good for him.” I meant it, too. I wanted him to be happy. I really did. And if being Harbor Master made him happy, then that was great.

  Lowering my glasses over my eyes, I leaned back in my seat, trying to hold up the smile on my face as Amber and I exchanged a shaded glance.

  Maybe Alyssa’s intentions weren’t so innocent after all.

  *

  Standing in front of the mirror, I ran my hands down the front of my dress. It was a simple yet sophisticated dusty rose number. Silk but pleated at the top, which gave it a crinkled effect that made it safe to roll and stuff into a duffle bag. It was flowy. Easy. Like this trip was supposed to be. Stress-free.

  “Can you believe that at lunch?” Amber asked as she pulled on her dress. She’d been uncharacteristically quiet up until now. Now I knew why. “I mean, seriously. What was that? Was she trying to rub it in or something?”

  “Rub what in?”

  “The fact that he’s starting to settle down without you.”

  Her words cut like a knife. It hurt hearing them out loud.

  “We all gotta grow up sometime, I guess.” I shrugged, acting as though what she said didn’t affect me.

  “Do we?”

  Sighing, I flopped down on the bed to buckle the strap on my shoe. “I don’t know, Amber. You tell me.”

  “Look, just because he might be staying in one place doesn’t mean he’s done any growing up.”

  “I know that. You think I don’t know that?”

  “What I think is that you’re going to get your hopes up.”

  “Hopes up for what?” She was really starting to piss me off.

  “For Coll. For him changing. For you two having some kind of happily ever after out there in Clallam where the women are fifty pounds heavier and all the men hate themselves.”

  I held up my hands. “Okay, wow.” Pressing them into the mattress, I pushed myself up to stand. “I did not gain fifty pounds and you know it.” One hand on my hip, I pointed a finger at her.

  “Yeah well, you probably would have if you hadn’t left. Maybe more.”

  We scowled at each other from across the room until we both broke a smile. All our lives Amber could never stay mad at me and I couldn’t stay mad at her. No matter how offensive she could be. In the end she was always just looking out for me.

  Walking over, I initiated the make-up hug.

  Amber pulled me in and squeezed me tight, telling me what was really bugging her. “I don’t want you to leave again. I don’t think you want to either. I don’t think either of us could stand it.”

  I nodded against her shoulder. She was right. I didn’t want to live in Clallam. I didn’t want to gain fifty pounds and end up with a man who hated himself. I’d only end up hating myself, too. I knew I would. I already had.

  I let go of her before we started crying. We had already done our faces and were running out of time to finish getting ready for the wedding.

  After I zipped her up and she threw on her shoes, we were out the door.

  The evening breeze gently blew through our hair and up the skirt of my dress. I didn’t even bother trying to hold it down as we ran across the courtyard. We laughed as Amber’s heels dug into the moist ground, and she grabbed ahold of me, pulling me down as she fell into one of the wooden fold-out chairs.

  Adjusting myself in my seat, I pushed the hair out of my face, sobering immediately when I spotted Coll watching us from across the aisle. I kept as neutral as I could, facing forward to fix the skirt of my dress while I had a mild panic attack.

  He wasn’t supposed to be here. He wasn’t supposed to be invited.

  “You know, Alyssa has really good taste. Peonies are my favorite. Always have been. Are you okay?” Amber finally asked.

  Shaking my head, I licked my lips. “Don’t look, but Coll’s here.”

  “What! Where?” Straightening in her seat, she did exactly what I’d told her not to do.

  “Amber, stop!” I yelled under my breath, simultaneously tugging on her forearm. “I told you not to look.”

  The music started and everyone around us stood. I chastised Amber with a look before pulling her up with me to watch as Alyssa floated down the aisle.

  My eyes wandered off and on during the ceremony, finding him still looking my way.

  From afar, time looked to have been his friend. But that could have just been me. I always did like it when he grew a little bit of scruff on his chin. The white button-down shirt accentuated his tan skin. He looked good. Really good.

  Stop it.

  My line of sight was blocked when the guests stood to applaud. I remained seated, hiding among the crowd. Grabbing Amber’s arm, I left the courtyard with the majority, using the mob of people as a camouflage as we made our way to the reception area.

  My first line of business was to find Alyssa and Ethan and give them my congrats. They really did make an adorable couple. And the fact that Alyssa still wore heels on their wedding day made me love her all that much more. The silk of her dress felt nice under my embrace. It looked fantastic on her, the way it hugged every curve, accentuating her hips with a loosely tied bow.

  But I was still mad at her.

  “It’s Donna Karen. Can you believe it? I got it off eBay for a steal. Don’t tell anybody, but it’s got a small stain on the train.”

  I made it my mission to find that stain as I moved out of the receiving line and walked past on my way to the open bar where a lemon drop—or ten—was calling my name.

  With Amber hot on my heels, I booked it across the room to one of the empty bar stools. Ordering a lemon drop for herself, Amber pulled up a stool beside me.

  “I can’t believe he’s here,” she said, absentmindedly stirring her drink.

  “I don’t want to talk about it.”

  I saw Amber mouth an “okay” out the corner of my eye. I held up a finger at the bartender, signaling for another. The more drops I drank, the braver I became, the more I wanted to spin in my seat and take a look around. I refrained though, closing my eyes and swaying to the music instead. My head was buzzing to the beat. My body felt warm and tingly. I barely noticed when someone walked up behind me and tapped me on the shoulder.

  “Care to dance?”

  His breath warmed the back of my ear. I felt his voice more than I heard it, the vibration nearly lulling me to sleep.

  How did he expect me to dance when I couldn’t even stand?

  Spinning in my seat, I nearly tumbled off to the side, but he caught me by the shoulders, pressing his fingers into my skin as he righted me on the stool. I held onto his forearms, keeping my eyes closed until the room stopped spinning.

  “Is that a yes? No?”

  “Maybe so.” I giggled, covering my mouth when I started to snort.

  His mouth turned up and he took a step closer, letting the inside of his thigh rest against the inside of my knee. The rest of my insides caught fire and I immediately stopped laughing.

  Every nerve ending in my body fired off like a firework. My cheeks lit up like the Fourth of July.

  I couldn’t stand the way he made me feel. Couldn’t stand longing for it every single day of my life. His touch was what I was missing. It was why I was still sitting on that stool and not locked away in my room looking for the next flight out of there. Right then, there was the only place I wanted to be.

  Opening my eyes, I looked up into his.

  “Okay, yeah, let’s dance.”

  Chapter Nineteen

  Coll held out his hand.

  I looked over at Amber.

  This was exactly what she was afraid of happening. Me seeing him and folding like a cheap lawn chair.

  She wasn’t happy. But she knew better than to say anything to me at that moment in time. After all, she knew my heart better than I did.

  Sliding off the bar stool onto unsteady ground, I took his hand. His palm felt warm, but his fingers were cold and rough just like I remembered them. W
hen they intertwined with mine, I looked up at him, wanting desperately to touch the beginnings of his beard.

  “So is this here to stay?” I asked, reaching up to lightly pinch his jaw.

  “I don’t know. You think it should?”

  I shrugged. “You’re the one who has to look at it every day.”

  A sad smile spread across his tired face. I had missed our banter, and maybe that smile said he’d missed it, too.

  “But that shouldn’t be so hard.” I soothed where I’d pinched before dropping my hand to my side. “It looks good.”

  Squeezing my hand, he tugged on my arm, leading me out toward the dance floor. Our tangled fingers blurred, my vision narrowing solely on my feet so it was less likely I’d trip.

  A flash of heat rushed through me when he abruptly stopped then turned, putting his hand on my hip. He pulled me close, making our stomachs touch. I hesitantly placed my hand on his shoulder and raised my gaze from the floor to the pocket of his shirt as we started to sway slowly from side to side.

  “I get the feeling that you weren’t expecting to see me … maybe even hoping you wouldn’t.”

  Looking off to the side, I didn’t answer.

  “Yeah, that’s what I thought.”

  The music filled the silence until he spoke again.

  “I didn’t think you’d come either. But I’m glad you did.” He leaned down, almost placing a kiss on the bend of my neck before ghosting his lips up to the shell of my ear. “You look beautiful.”

  In lieu of choosing not to talk, I simply couldn’t. Instead, I closed my eyes and nuzzled into the warmth of his breath, letting go of his hand and wrapping both arms around his neck. He wrapped both of his arms around my waist and squeezed so tight it forced me up to the tips of my toes where I squeezed him back that much harder.

  “I fucked up,” he said, and I nodded against his neck. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I miss you so fucking much. Is there nothing I can do to fix it?”

  I silently sighed, resting my chin on his shoulder. “I don’t know.”

  We continued to sway, letting the music move us while all kinds of fantasies filled my head.

  Me moving back to Clallam. Him going to his job as Harbor Master. Us happy with a household full of kids. Me fifty pounds heavier but not caring. All the things I didn’t think I would have liked or ever wanted.

  Maybe I did.

  No, no. That was crazy. Who in their right mind wanted to chase around a house full of kids while lugging around an extra fifty pounds? Then again, maybe chasing kids around would help keep that extra fifty off …

  No.

  “What are you thinking about?”

  Like I was going to tell him.

  “Nothing.”

  “You know what I was thinking about?”

  “My cookies?”

  His chest vibrated with his laugh, and I smiled.

  “Now I am. But no. No, I was thinking about the first time I saw you.”

  “Yeah?”

  “Yeah.”

  “I remember that day.”

  “I remember it, too.”

  “I’m sure that redhead does as well.”

  He sighed against my ear.

  “Who was she anyway?”

  “Can we not do this?”

  “Do what?” Pulling back, I looked up at him.

  “This. Fight.”

  “I’m not fighting. I just want to know who she was. So, who was she?”

  Looking off into the distance, he didn’t answer until I tried to pull away.

  “It was Tara, okay?”

  Though I was expecting it, his answer hurt more than I thought it would. “Okay. What about that one brunette Amber saw you with?”

  “Also Tara.”

  I gave him a look.

  “She changes her hair a lot,” he explained.

  Creasing my brow, I nodded thoughtfully. “So all this time it’s just been Tara. Every time I heard you leave. When you didn’t come home alone.”

  “No, not every time. Sometimes it was one of the guys needing a place to crash.”

  “But sometimes it was Tara?”

  “Yeah, but nothing happened.”

  “Really? Nothing happened?”

  “Nothing.” Pulling me back into him, he moved my hair behind my shoulder, running his fingers through it to play with the ends. “Tara and I go way back. We’ve been friends since we were kids. She knows my life. She gets it. At least I thought she did. But none of that really matters.” He shook his head. “It’s all in the past. And I don’t want her. Not anymore. Not since the first time I saw you.”

  My heart filled with his confession. I ignored the ache in my chest. I wasn’t that easy.

  “I hear you’re up for Harbor Master.”

  “Yeah, I hear that, too.”

  “Well, are you going to take it?”

  “I don’t know. You think I should?”

  “I think you should if you want to. Do you want to?”

  His gaze lowered to my lips before lifting to my eyes.

  “All I know is I want you. I want you to come back with me to Clallam.”

  “Coll.”

  “I mean it. Come back and I’ll take the job.”

  His determination took my breath. My heart raced and I looked up, rising to the tips of my toes to press my mouth against his. In part to shut him up, but also because I just wanted to kiss him.

  Maybe I was that easy.

  His mouth was warmer than the rest of him, searing my lips with a sweep of his tongue. I melted into his sweet, hickory taste. It was only intensified by his scent. Clean and woodsy, like the pungent pine trees littering the forest floor.

  I pulled away first, resting my forehead against his so I could catch my breath.

  “Tell me you have a room,” I said, shocking myself and him.

  “I have a room.”

  Grabbing my hand, Coll pulled me off the dance floor and out of the reception hall to the elevators in the front lobby.

  On the outside, we were a couple waiting patiently. But inside, I was a ping pong game of intense emotions. The strongest being undeniable want. I wanted him. I wanted to do this. I wanted to. I did. I was ready.

  The elevator dinged and the doors opened. Coll hesitated, glancing down at me. I looked up, giving him a reassuring smile before pulling him along and stepping inside.

  Our lips met again the moment the doors closed, parting only when we reached his floor. Hand in hand, we hurried down the hallway.

  His room was nearly ten degrees cooler. I shivered, warming back up when his lips found my neck and his fingers dipped below the straps of my dress. I closed my eyes as he slid them off my shoulders, letting the slinky garment fall lifelessly around my ankles.

  My arms automatically folded to cover my chest. He grabbed both my wrists to lower them to my sides.

  “Don’t hide from me. You’re beautiful. Every part of you.”

  Running his hands up my arms, he slowly backed me up against the bed. As he unbuttoned his shirt my head swam in his scent, spinning as he shrugged it off his shoulders and laid me down, bringing the weight of him and the whole wide world on top of me.

  I couldn’t believe this was happening. After all this time. After all we’d been through.

  His thighs spread my legs as he worked the fly of his pants. I fought the urge to close my eyes, watching the soft pucker of his lips as they traced their way down my chest and stomach where his tongue slipped out to slide over my hip. I lost the battle with my eyelids when he pulled off my panties and his mouth stopped to hover just above my center.

  I sucked in a silent breath when he lowered his mouth, spreading me wider with his tongue. My fingers slid over the scruffiness of his jaw to the wet corner of his mouth. A flash of heat shot through my stomach and I nearly came undone, feeling him lick me like that. It was all too much. His mouth. The heat.

  Fisting my hands into his hair, I gave the ends a tug. My nerve endings caught fir
e, tingling across my skin as he kissed his way back up my body, lowering his between my legs.

  I melted beneath him, moaning into his mouth when he slowly slid inside me.

  I could taste myself on his tongue. Feel the strain in his muscles as he held himself up over me. Running my hands over his chest and stomach, I focused on how he moved. How he felt. How he sounded as he sped then stilled, and we lost ourselves in one another.

  Dropping to his forearms, he rested his forehead against mine.

  The intimacy was as stifling as the heat rolling off our bodies. I wrapped my arms around his shoulders, holding him close, basking in the comfort of his weight before he placed a kiss on my collarbone and pulled away to lay down beside me.

  Sliding an arm over my waist, he pulled me against his chest and nuzzled his nose into my hair.

  His breath blew across the back of my neck as shadows danced across the walls from the lights outside. I watched them for some time, startling slightly when he whispered my name.

  “Hailey?”

  Closing my eyes, I pretended to be asleep.

  “I love you.”

  A shock shot through me and my eyes shot open. Frozen by those three terrifying words, I remained silent and still until his breathing evened and I could finally focus enough to slide out of his embrace.

  I picked my dress up off the floor and pulled it on, watching him from the foot of the bed. He looked so peaceful, spread out on his side, his lips parted in deep sleep. It took all I had to gather up my shoes and walk out.

  The heat from the hallway hit my face and I backed up to lean against the door. Breathing in the stagnant air, I went back and forth with myself.

  Go back in.

  No, don’t go back in.

  But you can’t just leave it this way.

  Yes, you can.

  Go.

  Pushing off the door frame, I headed in the direction of the elevators, the heels of my shoes knocking against the side of my leg. I didn’t bother putting them on since the short carpet felt so soft on my feet. I was quicker without them anyway.

  Amber was sleeping when I burst into the room.

  “Wake up. We gotta go,” I said, slapping her ass as I walked by to get into my bag. I pulled out a pair of yoga pants and a tank before slipping off my dress and pulling on the clean, more comfortable clothing. When I turned back around, I found Amber still lying in bed.