The Cowboy's Sweetheart
Page 13
“We’ll just have Mad Cow again.” Wyatt sat down next to Molly and showed her how to rub the chalk off the floor. “What about Andie?”
That was fine, Ryder didn’t do family meals. He could slap some microwaved something on a plate, but the whole nutrition pyramid wasn’t in his diet. He glanced back at the girls because they probably needed some of the stuff on that pyramid. At least Vera had vegetables at the Mad Cow.
Wyat cleared his throat, reminding Ryder of the question about Andie.
“She’s doing good. I guess.”
“You guess?”
“I proposed again. She turned me down again.”
Wyatt moved from the floor to the sofa. “Well, how did you propose?”
“Are you the proposal expert?”
“No, but I’ve had more experience than you. At least with a real relationship.”
“Yeah, well…”
“If you want her to say yes, you have to show her how special she is to you. You have to do more than pull out a ring and say, ‘Hey baby, how ’bout we get hitched.’”
“Andie isn’t about romance.”
Wyatt laughed. “Have you been under a rock? She’s a woman. She’s having a baby, your baby. She wants romance.”
“Chocolates and flowers?” Ryder hadn’t ever bought a woman flowers.
“Do what you’ve always done. But maybe this time, mean it.”
“She knows she’s my best friend.” Ryder showed Molly a spot on the floor that still had the smudged outline of a snake. She wiped it up with dimpled, pudgy hands. He looked at her hands and suddenly those hands meant everything. His baby would have hands like that, soft and pudgy. His kid.
But maybe his kid would have blond hair like Andie. Maybe she’d have his eyes, or his curls. He blinked and looked away from his niece, to the brother that was trying to give him advice.
“Ryder, I don’t know how long you’re going to tell yourself that Andie is just a friend, but there’s something you ought to think about.”
“What’s that?” He was still thinking about Molly’s hands and he wondered how Wyatt felt the first time he held his daughter. But he didn’t want to ask.
“You might ought to think about the fact that she’s the longest relationship you’ve ever had.”
His longest relationship. He brushed his hands down the legs of his jeans and smiled at Molly, whose wide eyes clued him in to the possibility that wiping dirt on clothes was bad.
“Yeah, I guess you’re right, she is.” He leaned and kissed Molly on the top of the head. She smiled up at him and then she went back to scrubbing.
“You think I might be right?” Wyatt got down on the floor to help his girls. “That’s a huge change.”
Ryder stood up, still holding the container of wipes. Yeah, huge change. But he’d had a lot of changes in his life. Not all bad. He watched the girls as they finished scrubbing his table. Change wasn’t the worst thing in the world.
“I don’t want to be like our dad. I don’t want to mess up a kid the way we were messed up. Did you ever feel that way? Were you afraid to have kids?”
Wyatt looked at the girls. “Yeah, I was. I learned something though. If you’re worried about being like him, that means you know what he did wrong. You can make changes.”
Ryder wondered about that. He wondered about Wyatt and the past year, trying to get his life back.
“Take my word for it, you can do this, Ryder. But first you have to make Andie feel like you love her, like she’s your sweetheart, not the woman that lassoed you and dragged you down the aisle against your will.”
Make her feel like his sweetheart? He had a feeling flowers and chocolate weren’t the key to Andie’s heart. And he had bigger problems than that. How did he go from thinking of her as his best friend to turning her into the person he loved?
He might not have all the answers, but he did know the way to her heart. And it wasn’t chocolate.
It was dark outside when headlights flashed across the living room wall. Andie glanced out the window, but she couldn’t see who it was. Alyson walked to the window and shrugged.
“I don’t know who it is. It’s a truck and a trailer.” Alyson shot Andie a knowing look. “It’s Ryder.”
“Why can’t he give me a break?”
“Because he’s worried about you?” Alyson left the room and Andie knew she was letting Ryder in, and she imagined the two would share secretive little looks, maybe whisper something about her mood.
Staying down was not easy. She kicked her feet into the couch and screamed a silent scream of protest. When the footsteps headed her way she managed a calm smile.
“What are you doing here?” She flipped off the television when he walked into the room. He stood in the doorway, his hand behind his back. His jeans had pastel pink stains down the front.
Alyson peeked in, screwing up her face. “That’s nice.”
Andie drew in a deep breath and exhaled. “Fine, I can play this game. Ryder, it’s nice to see you.”
He smiled and stepped into the room, dark hair and dark eyes, and all cowboy. Except the pink stain. Her gaze kept straying to the pink blotch. But then his hands moved.
He had flowers and a sheepish grin as he held them out to her. She wanted to laugh. He actually had flowers. Her heart did something strange, because he’d never done that before. No one had ever bought her flowers. He hadn’t even bought her flowers when he took her to the prom. Not even a wrist corsage.
“I wanted to check on you. I thought I’d see if there was anything you needed.” He shrugged a little and he looked cute in jeans that had dirty smudges on the knees and a T-shirt that was a little threadbare. He didn’t smell good.
“What have you been doing? You stink.”
“Sorry, I worked with calves all day and then I had to go pick something up.”
“You have pink on your jeans.”
“Sidewalk chalk.”
She pictured him on a sidewalk drawing hearts and flowers. He wouldn’t have liked that image of himself.
He walked across the room with the flowers that were a little smushed and slightly wilted. She took them and held them to her nose. The rose in the bouquet flopped to the side with a broken stem. She peeked over the top of the flowers and smiled because his cheeks were ruddy from the sun and embarrassment.
“What did you have to pick up? The flowers?” She scooted up so he could sit on the couch next to her. He didn’t sit down.
“No, I bought the flowers at…” He looked down, at boots covered in mud. On Etta’s glossy wood floors. “I bought them at the convenience store.”
They both laughed. At least they could still do that. “I love them.”
“I bought you something else. I know you can’t get up right now. But if you could sneak over to the window, I’ll show you.”
“Oh, okay.”
And then he was gone. She waited a few seconds to see if he would come back. When he didn’t she hurried over to the window and looked out. He was opening the back of the trailer. Her heart hammered a little harder than before.
It was dark but the light in the back yard glowed in the night and bugs buzzed around the front porch light. Andie leaned close to the screen and waited for Ryder to walk out the back of the trailer. When he did, she laughed.
He stopped in the yard, looking up at the window, at her. He motioned to the creature standing behind him. She pushed the window up.
“How do you like her?”
“A llama?”
“An alpaca.” He sounded a little offended. “You said you wanted one.”
“And I do. And she’s beautiful. I love her.”
“Etta can knit blankets with her wool.”
“For the…” She bit down on her lip for a second. “For the baby.”
He nodded and then he gathered up the lead rope of the animal. “Yes, for the baby. I’ll put her in the corral with hay for tonight. Tomorrow we can see how she does with horses.”
She watched until he was out of sight and then she hurried back to the couch. But Etta caught her. Etta, a dish towel in her hands and a frown on her face.
“What are you doing up?”
“Ryder had a surprise for me. I just slipped over to the window to see what it was.”
“And it was what?”
She laughed. “An alpaca. Can you believe he got me an alpaca?”
“I think that’s about the sweetest thing I’ve ever heard. Now, stay on that couch and I’ll make hot cocoa.”
An alpaca. Andie hugged her pillow and she couldn’t stop smiling. The flowers were on the table, wilted but fragrant. And Ryder had bought her an alpaca.
She’d always known that sweet side of him. He’d always done the silliest things. The sweetest things.
And she’d never been able to think about falling in love with someone else, because she’d always loved him. She had dreamed of him someday loving her, someday asking her to marry him. But the dreams had been different.
The dreams hadn’t included mistakes and this wall between them. The dreams had included words of love and forever, not the words have to.
She’d loved him forever and no one knew her secret but her. And probably God. The two of them knew how it had hurt to be his best friend while he dated, and never women like her. Ryder had dated women from Tulsa. He had dated the kind of woman she would never be, the manicured kind who always knew how to put outfits together, always looked stylish and beautiful.
His footsteps, minus boots, alerted her to his presence. She looked up as he walked through the door of the living room, without his hat, without boots. She smiled at his bare feet and he shifted a little, like he couldn’t handle bare feet in her presence.
“Etta made me take my boots off.”
“It’s okay, you have cute feet.”
He sat down on the coffee table facing her. “My feet aren’t cute. I have long toes.”
“My toes look like little clubs. Etta says because I went barefoot when I was a kid. I should have worn shoes.” She stopped herself from rambling more. She looked up at him. “I love the alpaca.”
“Nothing says I care like an alpaca.” He winked and her stomach did this funny thing that felt like flips. How often had she watched him wink at girls, and then watched those same silly females follow him, not knowing that he wasn’t good for much more than one date. One night.
But they’d done everything together. They’d gone everywhere together. She’d been his comfort zone. He’d been safe with her. Maybe too safe, she decided.
“You’re right about that.” She couldn’t look at him, her heart ached and it hurt to take a deep breath.
“Andie, I’m sorry. This isn’t the way we planned our lives, but we can make it work. I’m going to be a good dad. I’ll figure out how to be good at this.”
“I know you will.” She met his dark brown gaze and her heart thudded, her face warmed. “I know, because I know who you are, that you’re good and kind.”
“I’m not, Andie. I’ve never been good or kind. I’ve been shallow and selfish just about all of my life.”
“Not to me.”
He reached for her hand and she held her breath as he slid his fingers between hers. “No, not to you.”
His eyes narrowed a little as he stared at their hands, and then he leaned. He leaned and he slid his free hand to the back of her neck, cupping it with a gentleness that made her heart melt. His lips touched hers, leaving behind the sweet taste of cola. Time slowed down and he held her close, keeping his lips close to hers. He moved, kissing her hair right above her ear and still holding her. He whispered but her brain didn’t connect words that sounded as if he meant to hold her forever.
And then Etta cleared her throat. “Hot cocoa anyone?”
Ryder scrambled back away from her, leaving her alone and cold on the sofa. He stood up, looking sixteen and ashamed of being caught necking in the parlor. Andie smiled at this side of him, the soft and vulnerable side.
“I should go.” He coughed a little. “I’ll be back to morrow. To check on the alpaca, and on you.”
Andie nodded and then he was gone. From her seat on the sofa she watched his truck go down the road, back in the direction of his house.
He’d bought her an alpaca, and he’d kissed her goodbye. As much as she wanted to go back to being “just friends” she knew that could never happen.
Chapter Eleven
Ryder hadn’t gone home the night before. Instead he’d left Andie’s, driven past his house and straight to Tulsa. He hadn’t been sure what he was going to do once he got there, but as he’d driven past a home store, it had hit him. He was going to have a kid, and that kid needed a room. A nursery.
Kids had rooms. Babies had nurseries. He’d learned a lot last night while he’d been shopping.
Two pots of coffee later, he stepped back and looked at the wall he’d been painting. It wasn’t what he’d expected, but it wasn’t bad. It was pretty good considering he didn’t have a clue what he was doing. This was a far cry from painting a wall white, or beige.
“What are you doing?” Wyatt walked up beside him. “I guess I know what you’re doing, but isn’t it a little early?”
“If a guy’s going to have faith,” the word wasn’t easy to get out, “then he has to have faith. I’m going to be a dad and my kid is going to have the best nursery I can make.”
“Green?”
“Yeah, green. For a boy or a girl.” Ryder didn’t look at his brother, he kept looking at the walls and he explained what the girl at the all night home store had told him. She’d said this was some shade of antique pastel green. And it would look great with cream trim on the woodwork. That’s what the girl at the store had said.
He’d taken her word for it because he would have painted the room pink if it had been up to him. Pink because he couldn’t stop thinking about having a little girl. As much as he’d ever wanted anything, the idea of that little girl in his arms had become the biggest dream ever.
Wyatt stepped over to the box Wyatt had placed on top of an old dresser. He started pulling out stuff that Ryder had bought on his late-night shopping trip. A train, a picture of a pony, a porcelain doll and a clown. Ryder still didn’t like the clown. It looked too creepy for a baby’s room. Wyatt shot him a look.
“That’s the creepiest clown I’ve ever seen.” Wyatt dropped it back in the box. “So, trains, stuffed animals and butterflies?”
“It could be a boy or a girl. We won’t know for a couple of months.” We, as in he and Andie. He figured it would get easier to deal with, eventually.
But he thought most people planned these things and had time to adjust, to deal with it. He was going to be a dad and that hadn’t been on any of his to-do lists.
He tried not to think of Andie losing the baby because he didn’t really want to think about how that would make him feel. It didn’t make sense that something he hadn’t wanted, hadn’t planned to have, could mean so much to a guy in a matter of weeks. It felt like something he wouldn’t be able to handle losing.
His kid.
The whole nursery thing had happened after he’d kissed Andie earlier. Or had it been the night before. He glanced at his wrist, but his watch was on the counter downstairs. And none of that took his mind off that kiss. If a kiss, if holding a woman could make a man change his mind about having a woman in his life forever, that might have been the moment.
“What about a bed?” Wyatt finished rummaging through the box and looked at him.
“Our old cradle and crib are in the attic. I thought I’d sand them down.”
“Wow, seriously?”
Anything for his kid.
“Yeah, a baby has to have a place to sleep.”
Wyatt walked over to the rocking chair Ryder had bought last night. Every time he looked at that rocking chair he pictured it next to the window and he could see Andie in it, holding their baby. For that to happen, she’d have to marry him. She’d have
to live here with him and make a home with him.
That didn’t seem likely because she was pretty stuck on their “best friend” relationship. He had to take the blame for that.
“You’re right—a baby has to have a place to sleep.” Wyatt touched the rocking chair and his smile faded. Ryder thought Wyatt probably had images in his mind that were a little harder to face. Images of Wendy holding their girls.
Ryder slapped his brother on the back. “I think we need to go break a horse or something. All of this paint is starting to get to me.”
“Wish I could, but the girls are waking up. I’m going to drive over to Grove. Do you need anything from town?”
“I was in Tulsa until three in the morning. What do you think?”
“Probably not. How did it go with Andie?”
“I bought her an alpaca.”
Wyatt shook his head. “Okay, maybe you don’t know what you’re doing.”
“What? She liked it.”
“Yeah, she probably did.”
Ryder grinned, “I bought her flowers, too.”
Wyatt shook his head and walked out of the room. “You’ll never get it.”
Ryder dipped the brush in the paint and finished up a small section of wall that he didn’t want to leave undone. Green, for a boy or a girl. The clerk at the home store had asked him all the details, like when was the baby due and did they have a name picked out. And he’d tried to think up answers because he didn’t have any.
He tossed the brush into the tray and walked out of the room. A guy who was having a baby should have answers. By the time he pulled up to Etta’s he’d managed to cool down.
Etta answered the door, motioning him into the kitchen and then looking at him like he’d dropped off the moon.
“Do you want a cup of coffee or a shower?” Her nose wrinkled and she stepped back. “Take your boots off.”
“I guess I look pretty bad.” He looked down. The pink chalk had faded but he had specks of paint on his shirt and arms.
“Not too bad. She’s in the living room.”