All My Tomorrows

by Al Lacy

  The Dexters asked questions about the twins’ past and how they became orphans. The twins explained about being sent away from their home in Manhattan because their parents could no longer afford to keep them.

  After asking more questions and learning that Deena and Donna had lived on the streets of Manhattan for a brief time, then were taken to the Children’s Aid Society headquarters by Charles Brace and his wife, Norma looked at her husband. “Let’s do it.”

  Ralph grinned. “All right. Which one do you want?”

  His question struck the twins like a bolt of lightning. They exchanged wide-eyed glances, then Donna said, “Mr. and Mrs. Dexter, Deena and I don’t want to be separated.”

  Ralph’s brow furrowed. “Honey, we can’t take both of you, but we definitely want one.”

  Royce Nelson was standing close by and heard what was said. He stepped up and smiled at the Dexters. “Folks, I would really hate to see the twins separated. Isn’t there another girl along the line that might interest you?”

  Ralph shook his head. “No, sir, there isn’t. We wanted a girl exactly their age, and we like these girls. We want one of them. We can’t take both of them because we have a sixteen-year-old son at home, and we can only afford to bring home one orphan.”

  Royce opened his mouth to speak again, but Ralph beat him to it. “I distinctly heard Mr. Radcliff say earlier, sir, that the executive board of the Children’s Aid Society had established a policy that if there were siblings on the orphan train, and a family only wanted one of them, they could take the one they wanted. Isn’t that right?”

  The twins looked on with their hearts pounding as Royce said reluctantly, “Yes, sir. That’s right.”

  “Good! Which one do you want, Norma?”

  “Just a minute, sir,” cut in Royce. “It is an established fact that it is devastating to separate twins—especially identical twins. They are so much a part of each other. As the saying goes, ‘If one is cut, the other one bleeds.’ Are you sure you can’t accommodate both of them? It would really be best for them. And if you can’t, there are other girls in the line who are thirteen years of age. For the twins’ sake, wouldn’t you choose another girl?”

  Ralph shook his head. “We can’t afford to take them both, Mr.—what was your name?”

  “Nelson.”

  “Mr. Nelson, I wish we could afford to take both girls, but it is simply impossible. But we do want one of them. You did say that is the policy?”

  Royce gave the twins an apologetic look. “Yes, Mr. Dexter, that is the policy.”

  “All right,” said Ralph, then turned to Norma. “Which one do you want?”

  Norma ran her gaze between the twins for a moment, then said, “Let’s take Deena.”

  The twins were stunned. Instantly, they were in each other’s arms. Betsy Gilder had been listening to the conversation between Ralph Dexter and Royce Nelson and heard the choice Norma had made. Tears filled her eyes when she saw Deena and Donna cling to each other.

  Royce began the paperwork on his clipboard with a heavy heart. This is the part of my job that I don’t enjoy.

  When the papers were signed, Norma turned to the twins—who were still clinging to each other. “Donna, we really wish we could take you too, but as my husband said, it is simply impossible. We’ll give you girls a few minutes to say good-bye.”

  The twins were weeping as they hugged each other, feeling the pain that came with knowing they may never see each other again.

  Between sobs Deena said, “Sis, no matter how far apart we may be, our lives and our hearts will still be joined as one. And … and maybe someday we will find each other again.”

  Donna clung even more tightly to her twin. “The greatest desire in my life will be to see you again. We will be separated physically, but our hearts will always beat as one. I love you, Deena. I hope these people are good to you and that you have a happy life. My thoughts will never be far from you. I am glad that you will have a home. Let’s try to make the best of this situation. Grieving for each other will only bring us pain. And we’ve had enough—” Donna’s words cut off as a sob clogged her throat.

  “I’ll always love you, sis,” Deena said with effort, her own throat tight. “I love you, my precious Donna.”

  Norma touched an arm of each twin. “We need to be going, Deena.”

  As the girls let go of each other, Betsy rushed up, hugged Deena, told her good-bye, then hurried back to her place in line.

  With tears streaming down their cheeks, the twins embraced one more time, then as Deena turned to leave, Donna clung to her fingertips. “I love you.”

  “I love you too,” said Deena as the Dexters hurried her away.

  At that moment, Shelley Nelson moved up to Donna and put an arm around her shoulder.

  Donna’s tear-filled eyes were fixed on her twin as the Dexters ushered her toward the main door of the terminal. When they reached it and Ralph opened the door, Deena paused, looked back, and waved.

  Donna waved in return as her twin vanished from view. Her knees buckled, and while Shelley held her up, she sobbed uncontrollably.

  Royce waited till Donna regained some control of her emotions. “Honey, I’m sorry this had to happen, but I had no choice but to let the Dexters take Deena.”

  Donna drew a shuddering breath. “It’s not your fault, Mr. Nelson. Thank you for trying like you did, though.”

  A few children had been taken by the Salina people and the remaining orphans reboarded the train.

  Johnny and Teddy were sitting on the same seat as usual. Teddy turned to him and said, “Johnny, I was really scared when I thought that one couple was gonna choose you.”

  Johnny put an arm around him and smiled.

  In the girls’ coach, Betsy Gilder sat beside a weeping Donna Mitchell, shedding tears herself while trying to comfort her.

  As the train chugged out of the Salina depot, Nurse Mandy Hillen moved to the seat where Betsy and Donna sat together and looked at them with soft eyes. “Betsy, honey, would you let me sit with Donna for a few minutes?”

  “Sure.”

  Mandy sat down and tried to console Donna by saying at least Deena had a home. Deena would be taken care of by her new foster parents and would have a happy life.

  Trying to be brave in it all, Donna nodded. “I want her to have a happy life.”

  Mandy put an arm around Donna’s shoulder and pulled her close. “Honey, down the line, there is a family who will want you.”

  Sniffling, Donna said, “Somehow I will get that family who chooses me to bring me back to Salina once in a while so I can see Deena.”

  Mandy smiled at her. “Well, Donna, I really hope it works out that way.”

  Chapter Eight

  As the Dexter wagon was moving westward along the well-traveled, snow-crusted road, Norma Dexter engaged Deena Mitchell in conversation about Salina, the surrounding area, and its friendly people, trying to keep Deena’s mind off her twin.

  They were halfway to the Dexter farm when off to the right, they saw the orphan train rolling westward along the tracks in the distance, with billows of smoke pouring from the engine’s smokestack.

  Deena looked at the train with a longing in her eyes and tears once again began to slide down her cheeks.

  When Norma saw the tears, she patted the girls hand. “I know this is very difficult for you, dear, but don’t you worry. Your sister will find a good home somewhere.”

  Deena nodded and wiped the tears from her cheeks. “I’m sure she will, but I’ll miss her terribly.”

  “We understand that, little gal,” said Ralph, “and we’ll do our best to make you so happy that the pain of being separated from Donna will lessen each day.”

  There was a moment of silence except for the mushy sound of the horses’ hooves on the snow and the spinning of the wagon wheels. “Deena, I know you’ll love your room,” Norma said. “We’ve got it all fixed up for you.”

  Thankful to have a home in spite of the ab
sence of her twin, Deena smiled. “Thank you. I’m eager to see it.”

  Soon Ralph turned the wagon onto the Dexter farm and they headed down the lane toward the house. “Deena, we have a hundred and sixty acres. We’re not rich by far, but we do make a decent living. I wish we were well enough off to have taken Donna in too, but we’re not.”

  Deena nodded silently.

  Ralph went on. “We have ten milk cows, four draft horses—two of which are pulling this wagon right now—and three saddle horses. We also have sheep, hogs, and chickens.”

  Deena ran her gaze over the snow-laden land, noted the cows, sheep, and horses in the corral next to the barn, glanced at the hog pen and the other outbuildings, then settled her attention on the farmhouse.

  Her thoughts went to Donna, and what she said just before they parted: “Let’s try to make the best of this situation. Grieving for each other will only bring us pain.”

  Though Deena’s heart was still aching severely over the separation from her twin, she told herself Donna was right. They must not grieve over each other. Deena had ever been an optimist, always seeing the glass half full, rather than half empty. She must employ this optimism.

  She took in the farm once again and thought about the crowded city where she was born and raised. Having lived in the dim, dreary apartment, the scene before her was amazing. Being used to the constant noise on the streets of New York, the silence was almost palpable.

  Deena’s attention went back to the farmhouse as they drew up at the front porch. The gray house with white trim was two-story and had a wraparound porch with a swing.

  An audible gasp escaped Deena’s lips.

  Norma turned to the girl, expecting to see her in tears again. Instead, a sweet smile graced her lovely young features.

  “It’s all so lovely, Mrs. Dexter, and so totally different from where I have always lived. The quiet may take some getting used to, but I do like it here.”

  “I’m glad you feel that way, dear. We want you to be happy with us.”

  “For sure,” said Ralph as he climbed down from the seat. He rounded the wagon and helped Norma and Deena down. As they mounted the porch steps, Deena said, “Mr. and Mrs. Dexter, I want to thank you for choosing me. I know I showed my sorrow at being separated from Donna, but I don’t want you to think I’m ungrateful. It’s just that so much has happened to me and my sister in the past several weeks, and—”

  “You don’t have to explain, dear,” said Norma. “We understand.”

  Ralph opened the door, let the ladies enter ahead of him, and closed the door.

  At the same instant, a blond teenage boy stepped into the hall from the parlor and set dull eyes on the trio.

  “Rex!” exclaimed Norma. “Look who we have!”

  Rex looked at the girl dismally. “The orphan.”

  “Yes. Her name is Deena Mitchell. She’s thirteen. Deena, this is our son, Rex.”

  It was obvious that Rex resented her, but Deena was determined to change that. She smiled warmly. “Hello, Rex. I’m glad to meet you.”

  Rex grunted with a nod, then looked at his father. “Pa, I finished cleaning the chicken shed. Can I go over to Willie’s place, now?”

  Ralph looked at the grandfather clock that stood in the corner of the foyer. “It’s almost two o’clock, son. Just be back by milking time.”

  Rex took his coat and hat off the coat rack that stood next to the staircase. “See you ’bout four o’clock.” With that, he was out the door and gone.

  Norma was embarrassed at her son’s behavior, but decided to let it go. She turned to Deena. “Well, honey, let’s take you upstairs so you can see your room. Lead on, Ralph.”

  “Okay,” he said with a smile. “The tour of the house will begin in Deena’s room.”

  Norma and her new foster daughter followed Ralph up the stairs. When they reached the top and started down the hall, Deena looked around, her eyes darting from side to side. “The house is so bright and clean. Do you always live like this?”

  “We do,” Ralph said over his shoulder.

  In awe, Deena said, “I wish my mother could see this. The tenement where my family lives is so squalid. And their apartment is shoddy and dreary. If she saw this, she would say it’s heavenly. Fact is, it seems pretty heavenly to me too.”

  Ralph and Norma shared a satisfied smile.

  They drew up to the last door in the hall. Ralph opened it. “Okay, Deena. Here it is.”

  Deena moved past Ralph and entered the room. She saw immediately that they indeed had planned to bring a girl home with them. She slowly turned in a circle, taking it all in. Her mouth hung open and her eyes were large in wonderment. “This is my room?”

  Norma smiled. “Yes, it is. Do you like it?”

  Deena was still turning in a circle in order to take it all in. “It’s … it’s the most beautiful room I’ve ever seen. I love it!”

  Norma looked at her husband, then back at Deena, who was now standing still. “Deena, we have saved up some money to buy material so I can make some dresses for you. We’re going to buy it tomorrow in town, plus a couple of ready-made dresses, some undies, and some new shoes.”

  Suddenly Deena thought of the cloth bag that contained clothes belonging to both Donna and herself. It was too late to do anything about those clothes. “Mr. and Mrs. Dexter, I can’t tell you how very much I appreciate your kindness to me.”

  “We’re glad we can provide for you,” said Ralph. “We want to make everything as good for you as possible.”

  Deena smiled. “Oh, thank you.” She ran her eyes around the room again, then set them on the bed. “And this bed! How beautiful!”

  A white and yellow quilt covered the white iron-framed bed. Deena moved to it and ran her hands over the spread. “I’ve never slept in a bed like this.”

  From there, she went to the room’s two windows. Crisp, lace curtains adorned them. Looking through the windows, she took a deep breath. “I feel like I can see forever out there. There are no tall, dirty buildings to obstruct the view.”

  She moved toward the white dresser that stood in the corner with a flowered pitcher and washbowl. A large mirror hung above it. “And this! I’ve never seen anything like this!”

  The Dexters looked at each other and smiled.

  Deena then went to the opposite corner, where a straight-backed wooden chair with a yellow cushion was pushed up to a small desk. “I’ve never had a desk before,” she said as she rubbed the back of the chair.

  Deena looked down at the round rug of multitudinous colors that covered most of the shiny wood floor. “And I’ve certainly never even seen a rug like this. Oh, Mr. and Mrs. Dexter, how can I ever thank you for letting me live with you? I’ll take very good care of everything. And Mrs. Dexter, I’ll help you in any way I can.”

  Norma took hold of her hand. “We’re just so glad you’re here, honey. Now, let’s give you a tour of the rest of the house.”

  They moved slowly through the rest of the house and stood on the back porch for several minutes to view the barn, corral, and outbuildings. When they returned to the kitchen, Ralph excused himself and headed for the woodshed, which stood a few yards from the back porch.

  Norma set her soft eyes on Deena. “Now, dear, I want you to go back up to your room and rest for a while. I know what it’s like to travel a great distance on a train. You’ve got to be tired. Freshen up first, if you like, but do lie down for a while. I’ll call you when supper is ready.”

  “Oh no, ma’am,” she said, taking off her coat. “I will help you prepare supper. I know how. Donna and I used to prepare entire meals at home. Quite often Mama had her hands full, taking care of our brothers and sisters. I can help you, really.”

  Norma shook her head and put an arm around Deena’s shoulder. “Not tonight, dear. Just go up there and enjoy your new surroundings. Tomorrow is soon enough for you to start helping with the cooking and housework.”

  “Well, okay … if you’re sure.”

>   “I’m sure. Get some rest, and I’ll call you when it’s time to eat.”

  Deena smiled, nodded, and went down the hall, carrying her tattered coat. She bounded up the stairs and made her way to her room. Once again, she looked around at everything in the room and sighed. She noticed the walls, this time—there were yellow and white flowers imprinted in the wallpaper.

  She hung her coat in the closet, then went to the dresser. She poured water from the pitcher into the washbowl and splashed it on her face. After drying off, she went to the bed and ran her fingers over the bedspread again. She looked around the room and spoke to it. “There must be a God. No one else could have worked out all that has happened today!”

  Deena sat down on the bed, testing it out, then removed her dusty high-top shoes. Scooting further up on the bed, she lay down, resting her head on the soft pillow, which was covered with a sweet-smelling pillowcase.

  She took a deep breath, sighed, and let her mind drift back over the last several weeks. Tears filled her eyes and flowed down her cheeks. “I miss my mama and my brothers and sisters. I hope someday they can have a home as nice as this. Oh, Donna, how I wish you could be here with me. You would simply love it. I hope you are chosen by people as nice as Mr. and Mrs. Dexter.”

  Deena brushed the tears from her cheeks and closed her eyes.

  The next thing she knew, Norma Dexter was shaking her gently. “Time to wake up, dear. Supper is ready.”

  That evening after supper, the Dexters took Deena into the parlor with Rex reluctantly following.

  They sat down on the overstuffed furniture close to the fireplace, and Norma asked for more details about Deena’s past—her childhood in New York City, and what it was like for her and Donna when their parents sent them away.

  While Deena told them the story in detail, Rex was bored with it all, but knew he must pay attention and appear to be interested.

  As the evening wore on, the emotional strain of the day’s events began to wear on Deena. She repeatedly tried to cover her yawns.

  It was almost nine-thirty when Ralph said, “It’s time we all get to bed. Tomorrow’s another day, with much work to be done.”