She slides her nails lightly over my beard and I am trying so hard not to rock against her because I am hard as fuck. "I was with fangirls though. When we finished the tour, and did the press tour I fucked a plenty, but the minute I came home to you my dick has been on lockdown." I punch up against her, the heat of her killing my restraint. I need to feel her.
"I have only been with you since that awful night." She says and rocks against me until our mouths touch and I crack under the pressure. My hands go into her hair as I palm the back of her head, pulling her closer, my tongue going deeper. Every part of me like a damn demon hell bent on getting her soul.
She pulled back to soon, but her grinding on me didn’t stop as fast. "You asked me that night to fix you..."
I nod and kiss behind her ear, placing my hands on her hips to pull her against me.
"Did it help?" She shivers as she says it and I chuckle.
"Yes. More than you could ever know. The days following were sucky though."
She slaps me lightly on the shoulder. "Don’t copy me."
I pull back and look at her, stop teasing her so that she knows even though I want her that I can stop and give her my attention.
"That night... it saved me from being the cynical sack of shit I was turning into. The minute I touched you, that you let me touch you..." I shake my head to clear the fog of emotions this shit erupts in me. "It proved to me that Tayla wasn’t my life. She and I fell apart months before that and I was clinging to the love we once had not the reality that it was dying. With you, the fire was always there, spanning a damn decade and more. Even when I swore I hated you, under it all I wanted you. It was easy to fight it at first, but as everything changed and we both became better parents, Tay left... I couldn’t fight it anymore. You were there picking up my mess all while working and taking care of Axe. You shouldered everything for me so I could lick my wounds." I kiss her sweet and feather soft on her lips. "There was no denying it after that."
"Caly..." she says and hearing her call me that has my cock seriously pissed off by my refusal to fuck right now.
"That is exactly why you could never deserve to be so brutally raped and destroyed. You’re good Red. You’re so very good."
Jen
I was blown away by his response to why I fight him. I was terrified he would never forgive me and losing him for good was too much to bear. I wanted nothing more right now to be fixed, just as I did for him. For the first time in this thing with Cal though, I didn’t know how to ask him to sandblast everything ugly away and fix me.
"I want so bad to believe that Cal."
His hands trace circles on my back and my hip and though he isn’t trying to get a quick ride in, I feel him hard beneath me and I can’t stop from rolling my hips.
"How can I make you believe it Red?" He asks and I feel him tense, so tense by my touch.
I use all the carnal knowledge between us and ask him the same thing he asked me once and hope he knows the answer. "Fix me?"
He watches me closely waiting for me to reject him as I have so many times in the last eighteen months. "Fix me Cal."
I fall into his lips and grind against him, but he pushes me back and cups my face in his hands. "I can’t just fuck you Jen. We are so past it and I have no desire to be all about sex. I need it all from you, sleep with me tonight and see me and Axe in the morning. Miss me as much as I will miss you when you’re at work or I am. I will protect you from anything shitty, but you got to choose all of me too."
"The rest we hash out later?" I ask knowing it was his promise, his pledge to make me choose a few weeks ago in the fight at my place.
"Yep."
"Okay."
Apparently, that was all he needed to hear as he stood, lifting me with him and setting me on my feet in front of him. His mouth was on mine, seeking everything I ever wanted to give him as he works my jeans and panties down my legs. He slaps my ass cheek lightly. "Step out."
I do and reach for him but he brushes my hands away. "I am worshiping every inch tonight Jen. I have been jacking off to this moment for damn near two years. I need to relish and binge on you."
He turns me until I am on the chair and watch, elated as he spreads my legs wide over the arms of the chair. My pussy is spread and on display before him. "Fuck, you’re glistening Firefly." He slips a finger along my slit and I know I am wet, almost too wet. His head falls between my legs and he start licking me, fast and urgent on my clit.
"Holy shit you are so good at that Caly."
He pulls back, his lips wet from the pleasure and I love seeing myself on his lips and beard. "I ever tell you that eating you out has and will always be my favorite part of our history. I loved feasting on you all night, could have happily slept between these thighs and my mouth buried in your pussy. I fucking love it Jen, fucking so good."
His words and the way he touched me as he spoke them had me molten hot and so ready to release. He was back at my clit and going strong and hard. "Need me to fuck this pretty cunt with my fingers?" He asks and slips his fingers up and down my slit.
My fingers are in his hair and I am writhing on the chair desperate to cum. "Yes, please yes and lick my clit some more Caly. Make me cum harder than ever before.
"Wanna gush for me Red?" Holy shit he is one lewd mother fucker, how twisted that I love it. There is no fear here, not with us. We have already tipped the scale on freaky kink.
"Yes, I want to drench you." I say and I mean it. We are beyond dirty and there is this decadence in it all that makes it okay and comforts us both.
I feel the pillow he grabbed from the studio couch as he slipped it under my hips. "Lean back Red. Enjoy." He says and I feel two fingers curl inside me and his palm right above my pubic bone when he starts a rapid fire inside me, hitting everything amazing inside of me.
"Oh, Jen yes, your cunt is tightening. You ready Red?" He asks and his lips starts a soft sucking on my clit that made me explode immediately. My screams echoed in the studio, the sound cut off from everyone upstairs and I rock my hips against his mouth and hand; my soaked pussy pulsing as I ride out the most insane shit I have ever felt.
"Such an easy pussy to please." He says and stands from between my legs. He uses his free hand to undo his jeans while he licks his wet hand clean. "I am gonna fuck you now and it will be insanely fast, but I swear to God I will get you in bed once I get the misfits out and can really play with you."
I try to adjust my position in the chair right as his cock is pulled free and right in front of me. He is red and hard and so big, I can’t breathe for the first few seconds when he is inside of me.
"You okay? Wanna move to the couch?" He asks, both hands resting on the chair legs.
"No, right here, you'll get so deep." I say and arch, waiting for him to fuck me reckless.
He drops to his knees, his pants not even pulled down. He lifts my legs to his shoulders. "You on the pill?"
I shake my head yes and like lightening he enters me, every inch in a smooth slide. "Thank fuck. I am cumming in you Jen, so fucking hard."
He starts thrusting, slow and I need more, harder.
"Faster Caly." I say and lift my hips hoping for more.
"I will cum in three seconds if I fuck you like you need Red."
I arch at his words. "I love how you come inside me though. I get so wet and soft and slippery. I need it Caly." I say knowing it would set him off.
"Fuck!" He yells as he explodes.
He falls on my chest, my legs are spread and I have become weightless, neither of us moving for at least ten minutes.
I run my fingers over his back and yell when I see Chad and Shame walk in.
Cal lifted up further covering me before looking at them over his shoulder and I know they have to see the bright red neon light radiating from my embarrassment. "What? This aint’ a show. Go away I'll be up in a minute." He says and smiles turning to look at me, trying his best to keep me covered.
"Um, its Axe he is awake and crying. C
arrie and Cass are trying to calm him but he wants you guys, keeps signing mom and dad."
Cal took his shirt off and threw it to me as he jumped from between my legs as I used it to cover myself. "Coming." He said and did his pants up as he rushed from the room.
"Again, it appears." Chad says and he and Shame follow him laughing.
"Proud of it, so chew on that."
They all laugh and I follow close behind, my pants on backwards. I decide to fuck with them and shut them up. "He chewed on me endlessly." I said as all three stopped and I gave Cal a kiss on the cheek before we took the last few steps.
"You guys can chew on that too." Cal says and laughs as we go to our boy.
Chapter Eight
Cal
The last few days have been awkward. We have text one another a lot, almost constant. With her shifts between the PIT and Skin and for me with Axe and working with Lexington... it’s hard to know where either of us are.
I am left confused on the text this morning though.
Jen: So, when we say hashing it out later what do we mean?
Me: Well, I know what I mean by it. What do you mean by it?
I toss back my protein shake and sign for Axe to follow me to the gym in my home.
This is our ritual. Wake up, be lazy for a few minutes, breakfast (cheerios and bananas for him, protein shake and a pot of coffee for me) then we work out. Well, I work out. He plays with the jungle gym set I had installed last year.
I check my phone one last time before I set my playlist on the overhead sound system and dock my phone right as 'Diary of Jane' starts her text comes through.
Jen: Well I think it means we are seeing what happens.
In a split second I know this workout is getting its ass kicked. She pisses me off more often than not. This is just one of many examples.
Me: I am pretty sure we both know what will happen, but I'll break it down for you. I said be with me. You agreed. Everything outside of that we could hash out. Example; secrets, betrayals, trust issues... whatever.
I take my phone to the treadmill and start my warm up, eyeing Axe who climbs his gym and jumps all of three feet down over and over again. Engrossed in his own world, I refrain from screaming fuck for his benefit. This woman is making me bat shit crazy.
Jen: I’m scared
I sigh and up the speed and start the incline.
Me: Well you told me the worst right?
Jen: The dangerous side yes, but there is so much that took place in that span of time. Nothing was worse than that though.
Me: Then we hash it out. Case in point Red
I wait for her response but after a while I focus on my workout uninterrupted and haul ass to the showers to get the kid ready for school.
By noon I hadn’t heard from her and it was driving me crazy. I can’t figure out what the hell else she is scared of. The bomb was dropped the other night and I did as she asked and sandblasted it the fuck away.
Maybe she thinks I need the details, sorted and detailed, but I don’t. I can’t hear it all because I have every intention of tracking those bastards down and ensuring they rot in prison. If I know the sort of shit she went through, fuck no I will kill them. I won’t be able to think rational like Cal did when he found out about Corey trying to kill Cassa.
I am from the Noah mindset of let the fuckers suffer, by any means necessary.
I shoot Chad a text asking him to come jam so I am warmed up for the first session in the studio with Lex. I need to have some music and with my emotions going ADD on me I need something to surface me or we are gonna have shit to work with.
Chad: Yeah Carrie is with Bright doing wedding shit. Noah's here, he's gonna cruise with me yeah?
Me: Hell yeah. Where’s Shame?
Chad: Final adoption interview for Ella's biological brother.
Me: I forgot. I need to wish them luck. My heads fucked up today.
I immediately shoot Shame and Sass a good luck text and reassure them they got this, when Chad texts again.
Chad: On our way.
Me: I'm in the studio.
I change the strings on my guitar and tighten them, some instrumental tracks I worked on last week playing as I work when they show up and I am relieved.
"I am losing it over here." I say and take the beer he hands me and crack it open. They both watch me closely as I pound the beer.
"Something happen?" Chad asks and sets his gear on the stand in the sound booth. I hand them my phone and let them read the interaction between us this morning.
"What the fuck else does she need?" I look to Noah for the answers.
"What the fuck was the worst of it and that bad?" Chad asks and I feel like shit for not thinking about him reading it, not knowing what the bad was.
"Jen was brutally raped by four dudes in a drug deal the night before she brought Axe to Cal's folks." Noah says, dropping one hell of a bomb on Chad.
"What the fuck?" I yell and look at him with complete shock. "Don’t tell her shit to just anyone!"
He takes a bite of his Low Mein they brought and looks at me like I’m the asshole. "It’s Chad dumb ass, the second-best people to talk to when dealing with a woman who has been raped. He's not a gossip whore or a clown. He can help you understand it."
Meanwhile Chad looks sick and sits slowly looking at nothing. "You okay?" I ask and steal some of Noah's noodles.
He looks up at me, sad eyes and concern. "Jenny was raped?"
I realize as does Noah, that to him this was new, ugly and as her friend it saddens him.
"Dude, I’m sorry. I have had the time to adjust and Noah has known forever." I say and hand him a beer.
"You’ve adjusted to four men brutally raping the woman you love?" He asks me in a seriously annoyed tone.
"Love?" I ask and both Noah and Chad shake their heads.
"Dude, so not the topic to debate right now." Noah says and I see Chad, still in shock and decide he is right.
"I see daily the way it twists Carrie up. She carries so much burden over her abuse. What she could have done differently and still to this day she needs Noah to pull her out from time to time, though our Trust me game is nothing like theirs. I have to be understanding, no matter how brutal it gets and there are times I can’t deal."
I hate the reminders of what she and Noah survived. Their past reads like the worst horror scene ever created, and dealt to them by the hands of their sadistic father.
"How do you feel knowing he is behind bars?" I ask, because I am seriously getting involved to catch these lowlife fucks.
"I would feel better if he were dead. Don’t give a fuck by the means. Let the scary mother fuckers get him, let cancer get him...fucking let him hang himself. Just want him six feet below. I settle for prison."
Noah raises his beer. "Cheers to that, but I remain hopeful."
"I want her to go to the cops." I admit and wait for their reaction, yet both seem to ponder it.
"She won’t." Noah finally says and shakes his head. "We wouldn’t either. It's a pride thing. It's easier to keep the secret even if it festers than to admit to strangers and the public in our case that you were weaker than the demon that tortured you. Heaviest pill to swallow and not choke on it. Jen will never rat them out for many reasons."
"You seem okay with that. She deserves justice." I say and scrub my hands over my face before linking my fingers behind my neck.
"Cal..." He says and rests his arm on the production desk. "Jen is from the ghetto. The streets. It is all she knows and those are the laws she lives by. She might hang with the rich, but she is white trash beautiful and those are her thoughts not mine. She won’t rat those fucks out just like I didn’t rat the bickers out. Snitches get stitches and you don’t seek the taboo out and then cry when it hurts you. Carrie and I came from money, but we lived on beans and rice and whatever scraps of happy we could find. There is a different world neither of you could understand and it’s because you had what we didn’t. No better no less, just
living on a different set of life’s rules. Hard knocks are a bitch buddy."
I try to take in what he says and realize I know very little about Jens life. When we were young and hung out, we stayed on the clean side of Gig, never beyond the bridge. I only crossed into her world once... she always came to mine.
I was raised in a moderate sized home full of love and vacations and big Christmas’s. I never had to work for my guitars or bikes or cars. Good grades, dinner on the table every night. Nothing bad happened in my world and evil was for other worlds not mine. I never knew it existed until I met Carrie and Noah.
"I want justice." I pause, knowing it isn’t true. "Fuck that I want vengeance. Viking shit. I wanna hurt them in a way they will forever suffer. It's fucked up."
"Me too." Chad says and I believe him after his rant on Cody Beckett.
"Keep it to yourself, especially with her thinking she deserved it. You'll piss her off." Noah says and Chad sighs.
"She thinks that?" He looks so lost and Chad is the heart of us. Nothing about emotional shit freaks him out. Noah is strength, Chad is heart, Shame is funny and I am awesome.
Poor guy can’t handle this darkness sometimes.
Noah explains what happened and I feel my stomach drop. "What?" I ask, queasy and ready to explode. "They did what?"
"Yeah..." He looks at me with drawn brows and confusion. "What did she tell you?" There is guilt in his tone and I know he feels like he just betrayed Jen.
"That she was looking to score drugs, no money and the four took her to a room and took turns threatening to kill Axe if she didn’t comply. I didn’t even know it could get worse, so please continue."
He shakes his head no. "Not a shot in hell. You heard enough and even that makes me feel like shit."
"So, what you’ll feel free to tell Chad all willy-nilly, but not me because she's mine?" I roar and kick the chair I was sitting in until it rolled and hit the catch before knocking over. "I can’t take this shit anymore. Her reasons... everything revolves around this shit."
"Think if it was Mya, Cal. Say these four dudes hurt her instead. Would you be content with someone else telling her story? Even in an accidental way?" Noah asks and the minute he brought my little sister into I knew he was right.
Fix Me_TAT_A Rocker Romance Page 11