Hurt Like Me

by P. A. Brokenshire

  "No, I don't want to come with you to some stupid Valentine's dance," he replied with his usual bored tone, but his lips lifted in a slight grin as he reached up to touch her cheek, placing his thumb on her lip. I gazed at his fingers, his hands. I wished I could see his arms through his jacket. They were especially lovely to ogle when they were available. Every bit of him was so masterfully defined. "You know where I do want to come though? In this hot little mouth."

  My cheeks heated as Heather released a soft gasp. I felt a rush of warmth run through my body as my heart picked up a bit. There was something about the sound of his voice, the commanding tone. As much as my head and heart hated Garrett my body didn't, not even close. And whenever I heard him talk like that it just did things to me and he talked like that a lot. To every girl that caught his eye. It seemed like every other week there was a new one.

  He didn't laugh at Heather's reaction. Didn't apologize or pretend to be joking because he wasn't. He was dead serious. I hated that I liked that so much. Most guys my age didn't understand the appeal, they wouldn't. He never held back. Girl or guy, teacher or parent. Garrett said what he meant with zero regret and most of the time that meant hurting someone's feelings. He was too attractive for the girls to care and the boys thought he was a god for his way with women. I wished I was different, immune to his good looks and dirty words, but I wasn't. Heather recovered much quicker than me.

  "Just meet me there. Two dances and some pictures, please?"

  She pouted her perfect lips at him, and I shook my head at the ridiculous display. My racing heart returned to normal, and I held back a laugh. The fact that she thought she could convince him to go to a dance was absurd. Garrett didn't do dances. I couldn't picture him there in a suit and tie with his unruly hair tamed. He'd look out of place. Dances are too bright, too lively, for a shadow.

  "Absolutely not, but the other offer is always available," he said, dropping his hand. He straightened his dark jacket and turned to go, catching my eyes. I immediately looked to the floor, letting my auburn hair fall in front of my face, but I knew it was too late.

  Garrett made no secret that he didn't like me even though I never did anything to prompt his distaste. Maybe I wasn't hot enough for his liking. He only went for the obnoxiously hot girls. It wasn't like I was a hobbit, but he showed zero interest in me. I tried to remember that was a good thing. It's not like he ever actually dated those girls he talked to anyway. I doubted he liked them for more than their pretty bodies. I got the feeling Garrett didn't actually like anyone past their skin. I didn't even think he liked himself. As much as my body craved his, as much as I loved the words that came from his mouth, I knew that he was just an asshole. He was the type of venomous snake that was pretty to look at, but you would never let him slither freely into your home unless you were too stupid to notice.

  "Anybody ever teach you to mind your own fucking business?" His voice was full of malice.

  I looked up to see his face set in stone. Those beautiful eyes of his looked like glacier ice and when he glared at me, my insides became cold and hot all at once. I turned away from him, immediately coming to my senses. He was absolutely the biggest asshole on the planet. I started to walk away, hoping to avoid a confrontation in front of everyone. His damn audience of puppets gasped and tittered. Stupid sheep. I made it two steps before I felt myself being pulled back by my bag. The move was harsh and sent me falling to the ground. I didn't have time to stop it. My ass hit the tile. I let out a sharp hiss. That was going to bruise. I could feel everyone's eyes on me as I got onto my knees to pull myself up.

  "You know, you look kind of hot in your proper place." He chuckled softly. "A bitch on all fours."

  Hot? My stupid skin broke out in goosebumps. Of course, I would pick that to focus on. I really hated myself and whatever unruly hormones seemed to control me when it came to him. It didn't take long for my brain to catch up with his other words. I felt the sting of tears in my eyes as I gained my footing. My chest ached, but I managed to flip him off before I made a hasty exit to my next class. I was surprised that I managed that. It wasn't like me to bite back. I just wanted to try. Fuck those hormones and that pretty face. His friend Trevor slapped him on the back and the laughing started. Four more months.

  Chapter 3

  Garrett- 10 years ago

  "Did you really have to pull that shit this morning?" Chris asked, sitting on a chair beside me at the lunch table. Even as a Junior, I wasn't surprised that he had heard of the incident in the Senior hallway with Avery. It did however surprise me that he would bring it up. He usually avoided talking about the things I'd done. I played with the water bottle in front of me, sliding it between my hands.

  "What brother, were you not amused?"

  Of course, he wouldn't be. He was a good kid, never made trouble. My little brother was as straight laced as they came. He even looked the part. Not a single dark brown hair on his head was out of place. His glasses made him look smart, but not nerdy. His warm brown eyes looked nothing like mine. He was so lucky that he shared none of her features. That thought made me insanely jealous. My life would have been so much easier if I hated him, but he's the only person I couldn't seem to hate. I loved my brother. Sometimes the looks he gave me were too much though. He wanted me to be someone better. I would never be that person.

  "What did that girl ever do to you, Garr?"

  I shrugged because I wasn't entirely sure of the answer myself. Avery Finley had moved to Junction last summer. She was pretty enough. Green eyes, reddish brown hair, nice round tits that were the perfect handful. And that ass. That ass was perfection with those curvy hips. When I caught sight of her in town before school started, I had wanted to stick my dick in her immediately. I might have tried if her dad hadn't been with her the day I first saw her.

  "We need a funnel and tube for the beer bong." Trevor said, taking a stealthy hit off the vape pen he always kept in his pocket. "Fuck if I know where to find it."

  The asshole chuckled to himself and I rolled my red eyes. He was ruining my high and stumbling through the hardware store was the last thing I wanted to be doing. I wanted to fuck something and sleep while the voice that constantly plagued my thoughts was hibernating.

  "Let's split up. We'll find them faster that way."

  Trevor went running off like a golden retriever on a mission. I took the opportunity to lean against a shelf and embrace my high. The air smelled like sawdust with a slight twinge of metal.

  "I'm going to miss my show."

  I looked over to see a sexy red head glaring at the man that I presumed to be her father. She was...something. I hadn’t seen her around before, but I'd heard a few rumors of the new girl in town. They hadn't been here for more than a few weeks. My eyes wandered her body from long legs to a girl next door face. She pouted her lips. Fuck. Those lips. A flash of an image of them wrapped around me made my stomach flip. Her father stared at the shelves in front of him, examining the tools. I wondered if I could get her attention. I cleared my throat, but she was entirely focused on her father.

  "You're the one that wanted to come with me," he said playfully, nudging her on the shoulder and she pushed him back with another pout. He laughed, letting her drag him to the front towards the registers. "Okay, okay. No need to be so rude."

  His words didn't match the look on his face. He was more than happy to cater to her, clearly enjoying her little tantrum. I watched as she stared up at him with just as much admiration.

  "Can we get a pizza too?"

  He shook his head but smiled at her. I could barely make out his begrudging agreement. They were getting too far away. The look on his face was unmistakable though, adoration.

  I scoffed at the memory. I'd been ready to fuck her stupid until her father had looked at her that way- like she hung the moon, like she was the one bright thing in the universe. I didn't think anybody ever looked at me that way my entire life. Pity, hate, sadness, lust. Those emotions were all very familiar. Even Laur
a and Roger looked at me like a wounded animal. Chris too.

  That day in the hardware store had been the starting point for my irritation with Avery. Then we started senior year and she was such an easy target. I needed entertainment and she was there. Quiet, smart, head always stuck in a book. She looked away at every sharp stare, fell for every stupid prank. No one bothered to stick up for her. It didn't take her long before she figured out that she didn't fit in and she didn't try to anymore. That just irritated me even more. She had the balls not to pretend like everyone else. I shook my head to clear it. Fucking stupid.

  "No one wants you around."

  It was too early for that shit. The damn voice in my head loved to taunt me, to pray on every moment of weakness. At least when I was awake I could fix my torment. I twisted the cap off my water bottle and took several swigs. Chris caught the scent of the liquid inside and snatched it out of my hand.

  "Seriously?" He shouted at me quietly, replacing the cap and shoving the now half empty bottle of vodka into his bag. "Can you try to be sober for five minutes?"

  "Sorry," I mumbled, rubbing my face as the alcohol burned its way down my throat. Not that I was truly sorry. The alcohol would do its job and keep the monster at bay. He didn't understand. My perfect little brother, he didn't live with the same demons that I did.

  "Mom and Dad want you home tonight." He released a sigh at the way I tensed at his words. What did he expect? I still couldn't believe that he could call them that so easily.

  "Whatever."

  He ignored my half ass reply and started talking about some new video game he was playing. He didn't sit with me often and it was a nice change of pace. The rest of the lunch period passed in a blur as he talked. I laughed and smiled genuinely for a change, not quite sure if it was him that made me feel so relaxed or the booze. Regardless, it was good to have the time with him talking about something other than his severe disappointment in me. It helped me make it through another few hours of the day. That and the first half of the vodka from the water bottle warming my stomach.

  My buzz was wearing off by the time I stepped into my last class of the day, Economics. I was half tempted to skip, but the final project of the year was getting assigned and I needed it to pass. I took my seat in the back of the class as Mr. Watts greeted the class and quickly started talking about the importance of our final project. Like we didn't already know the project was worth a large portion of our grade. Even Trevor was paying attention.

  I should have just dropped out. I thought about it last year, but Robert and Laura could barely look at me without pity. They already felt like they failed me, no reason to make it worse. Not that it mattered. College wasn't in the cards no matter how much they wanted me to go. They would pay way too much for me to get some shit degree that I would never use. I was done abusing their kindness and understanding. I would graduate, do the bare minimum. After that I could let the alcohol and drugs finish me off.

  "You'll never be good for anything. You're a complete waste of space."

  I flinched, digging my nails into my palms to keep my focus on something other than the damn voice. I had no drugs, my buzz was wearing off, and sex was out of the question. All my normal coping mechanisms. Pain was a good last resort. I could feel the marks my nails were making in my palm. Sharp. I focused on the pain and my breathing while Mr. Watts droned on. I tried to pay attention.

  "I'll be placing you in pairs and you will need to invent your own product together with a full marketing campaign, financial plan, and mock product."

  Partnered projects were always such a cluster. Everyone in the class looked at each other, tension built in the room. Those idiots were so fucking predictable, anxiety practically oozed off their skin. They knew nothing of real panic or fear.

  "Now for the fun part. You'll have to convince your classmates to buy your product," Mr. Watts said, flashing some monopoly money. "You'll each be given a set amount of cash to give to your fellow classmates and those cash earnings will be tallied into your overall grade. You'll have some time to work on this in class over the next few weeks before I expect you to start selling."

  I rolled my eyes. As if that wouldn't turn into a straight up popularity contest. He finished handing out the money and proceeded to read names off a sheet in his hand. The class tittered with every name. I was fucking bored by the conversation. My fingers were getting tired, and I wanted more vodka or percs. Fuck yeah. Percs would hit the spot. I'd have to hit up Trevor for some. He would want another party. The thought exhausted me.

  "Trevor Matthews and Heather Lovely."

  Trevor grinned at me like the Cheshire cat as Mr. Watts kept talking. Mother fucker. I gave him a heated look. If he got to hit that before me, I would be pissed. I didn't like sloppy seconds. She was going to be one of the last high school bitches I bothered to stick my dick in. There weren't many left worth my time.

  "Garrett Hathaway and Avery Finley."

  The pain in my palms was overshadowed by my irritation. Of course. It would have to be that bitch. You have got to be fucking kidding me? My thoughts flashed back to the hallway when she was on all fours like a dog.

  "Maybe we can make some dog leashes," I said the words aloud without even thinking about it, and the class erupted into giggles. Fucking sheep.

  "I didn't ask for commentary, Mr. Hathaway," Mr. Watts said, giving me a death glare before continuing with his pairings.

  I could say something. I thought about it, but it wasn't worth the effort. We already had it out a few months ago when he caught me cheating on a test. The last thing I needed was another detention or suspension. High school was getting tedious. I had no intention of extending my time.

  My eyes wandered over to Avery sitting on the other side of the room. She looked straight ahead, avoiding my gaze. I guess she didn't want a repeat of the hallway. I could see her side profile perfectly though. Her gently sloped nose was scrunched up. She was mad and the thought made me smile. Her eyes were tightly closed, and her cheeks were red. She worried her bottom lip with her teeth. I'd thoroughly pissed her off and she wanted to say something about it. I laughed to myself. Well shit, that was a first. I recalled the way she flipped me off this morning. That was also a first. Maybe the little bitch was finally starting to fight back. That could be fun. I leaned back in my chair, my mind racing with new possibilities.

  Chapter 4

  Avery- 10 years ago

  Mr. Watts partnered us together in the library a week after presenting the assignment. I sat across from Garrett at a small table in the non-fiction section. He leaned back on his chair with his feet on the table. Careless. I could hear the others talking about their ideas, feeding off each other's thoughts. Garrett didn't even bother to look at me. We were supposed to be working and instead he just sat there, fucking around on his phone. I wanted to smack him. We had to agree on our invention, and I couldn't even get him to pay attention. Class time was running out. We only had 20 minutes left in the period.

  "When are we going to start working on this assignment?" I asked, pushing the papers I had written my inventions on towards him. "I've given you multiple ideas, just pick one."

  He looked up from whatever text or social media app he was wasting our time on, glanced at the writing on the papers, and scowled at me.

  "They're all shit ideas."

  Now I really wanted to smack him.

  "Then why don't you think of something," I snapped at him.

  "Don't need to. I already have our idea."

  He slid his phone across the table, and I took it. It was warm from being in his hands for so long. I froze at the image on the screen. Bare skin. A naked, dark-haired woman posed on all fours with a gag in her mouth. My entire body tingled; my skin practically hummed. It was impossible not to stare. She had a collar on her neck attached to a leash. The man behind her held onto it as she looked adoringly at another man who smiled with such raw pleasure. Porn. The mother fucker was looking at porn in the school library and no
w so was I.

  "I still like the leash," he said, drawing my eyes from the photo. He looked at me with the darkest expression, a smile on his lips. The way I would expect the devil would look. A lure to darkness.

  "Jesus!" I whisper yelled, shoving the phone back in his direction, the blush finally tinging my cheeks. My tongue flicked out to wet my lips. I was hot with...embarrassment. Yeah, that was it, I was embarrassed. And turned on. I was definitely turned on. I could admit that to myself. I smoothed my hair down to cover my flush. I noticed I was breathing a little heavy, so I tried to steady my breaths.

  "You're such an easy target." He chuckled, picking the phone back up. I hoped he hadn't noticed my reaction. "It's like you've never seen a naked woman before. Or are you so much of a prude that you can't even look in a mirror?"

  A different heat filled me. Anger. I wasn't going to answer him. It was none of that asshole's business what I did in my spare time. He didn't need to know about Lucas and the way he had humped me like a rabid dog Sophomore year. I definitely wasn't going to tell him about the porn I watched or the smut I read. He clearly didn't know much about readers. I doubted there was a reader out there that hadn't read at least a few romance novels. But in the library? In the middle of class? Did he have no sense of propriety? For that matter, did I? There was a slick wetness between my thighs now. My nipples ached against the smooth lining of my bra.

  "Hate to break it to you, but leashes were invented a long time ago," I said, ignoring his rude remark and my own stupid reaction to the photo. My breathing was returning to normal. Now I was sick with nerves and my attitude was making an appearance. Garrett wanted a reaction out of me? Fine. I'd give him a taste of his own medicine. "Do you have a legitimate suggestion or not? I don't need this project to pass, but something tells me you do. You need my help, and I could just as easily let you fail. How's that for an easy target?"