Hurt Like Me

by P. A. Brokenshire

  Chapter 36

  Garrett-Present

  We stripped down before we even made it to Avery’s room, but we were both too exhausted to do anything with all that naked skin. Instead, we slept for hours, curled into each other on her bed with the stereo playing that soothing music on repeat. She snuggled into me and I breathed her in when I awoke, burying my face in her hair until she stirred.

  “Morning,” I mumbled into her, pressing her body back into mine. She felt how much I wanted her, and she tilted her head back to meet my lips with a moan.

  I slid my fingers down, slow enough that she begged into my mouth, turning to lay flat so she could reach up to bury her hands in my hair.

  “Please, Sir.”

  “I love it when you call me that.” I admitted even though I had a good sense that she already knew. My kisses wandered to her neck as I slid my hand down between her legs. “You’re such a good girl…my sweet little pet.”

  I teased her with my fingers, bathing in the wetness that had begun to pool.

  “Do you remember your safe words?” I said, stroking her, pressing my dick into her side, relishing the feel of her soft skin on my fingers and my hard length.

  “Yes, Sir.”

  “Good.” I got up then and she groaned at the loss of my skin.

  “What are you doing?”

  “Good girls are patient, Pet.”

  A moan escaped her, and I was unsure if it was from the honorifics or the sight of me bare. I gave her a grin before fumbling through her drawers with one hand and stroking myself with the other. I couldn’t help it. Those sounds she made were indecent. I knew she was watching me. Good, I wanted her to watch. I wanted her to know what she did to me. I found something suitable, a silky scarf.

  “Get on all fours.”

  She practically salivated at my request, her eyes roaming over my skin. She whimpered, but like the good pet she was she got into position with no further instruction. I stalked towards her, appreciating the way the pretty pink lips of her pussy glistened in the morning sun. Her fiery hair was thrown to the side of one shoulder, her porcelain skin unblemished save the bruises on her wrists and neck. I wanted to fuck her so bad it hurt so why did she have to look so god damn tasty? Fuck. That was definitely my intention. But first, first I would make her so wet that she dripped onto the fucking sheets.

  “You know, I didn’t lie that day in the hallway, you do look good like this. Good enough to eat.” I covered her pussy with my mouth, inhaling her, tasting her with a groan that seemed to emit from deep inside of me. My tongue flattened against her clit and I licked her like ice cream, like a precious dessert that I never wanted to stop eating. Stroke after stroke, my fingers gripped her ass as she squirmed and panted and begged. She sounded so fucking beautiful when she begged.

  “Fuck, I love your tongue. Oh god-, Garrett-”

  My cock twitched. It loved when she said my name. I hummed in appreciation, and before long her legs started to quake. I knew she was close.

  “You taste so good.” Lick. “I fucking love-” Lick. “To watch-” Lick. “You break.”

  Her hands gripped the sheets as she screamed, her back arching as the orgasm ripped through her. I couldn’t help the selfish pride I felt as I continued to lick her through it until she leaned forward away from my mouth, the sensation too powerful.

  “That’s it. Such a good girl,” I whispered the words, pulling myself up, letting my hands roam her ass and back with a deep contented sigh. She purred as I pulled an arm behind her back, securing it in the scarf with a knot. The new feeling turned that purr into a deep moan. Her body threatened to go limp from her orgasm and lack of balance one handed, but I held her tightly by the arm. I would never let her fall.

  “Face down…relax, my pet,” I said, capturing her other arm as I freckled wet kisses along her back, her spine. When she succumbed, letting her face nestle into the pillow, I tied her free arm into the scarf, wrapping and twisting before securing with a second knot. She let out another moan, but with this one she thrust back. She knew where this was going, and she was getting eager. “Always so impatient.”

  I gripped her restraint in one hand so that I could swat her on the ass with other and she yelped, but that damn growl of hers followed.

  “I thought you wanted to be a good girl.” I soothed the area that I had smacked with my palm, she immediately started to squirm, her hips moving involuntarily.

  “I do, Sir,” she whimpered. “I want to be a good girl.”

  Leaning forward and still holding tightly on the scarf I let just the tip of myself enter her and she thrust back again causing me to retreat immediately and smack her again, harder this time. She cried out even louder.

  “Then stop being so bad.” I tried to make my voice sound angry, but it came out with a smile. It made me feel so incredibly powerful, ecstatic even, to have her this needy. So overtaken by her desire that she would press back into me, ready for me to fuck her, to consume her. It was good that she couldn’t see me and that damn smile.

  “I’m sorry, Sir.” Another pant. I could hear the longing in her tone. “I won’t do it again.”

  I stroked her with my cock, letting it toy with that sensitive nub that was so swollen from my mouth.

  “Do you promise?” More teasing, more control.

  “I promise.” she cried, and I swore I could hear the tears in her pleas. “Please, Sir. Please-”

  Not another second. I couldn’t listen to her beg for another second, a single fucking moment. With the scarf wrapped tightly in my grip I buried myself in her.

  “Fuck!” Our voices mingled, echoing each other as I moved inside her and already my balls ached.

  “Tell me how good it feels, Pet.” I pulled back and thrust into her again.

  “So-, so good, Sir.”

  She grunted into the pillow and I couldn’t help it. My heart. It felt like it would burst apart.

  “Oh my god-, I fucking love you. I’m so fucking in love with you, Avery.”

  A cry into the sheets. I wanted to hear her, I wanted to feel every inch of her skin. I reached up to wrap my hand around her neck from behind, pulling her back so that she was flush against my chest, her hands finding purchase on those damn bookshelves, as I continued to thrust into her, deep and slow.

  “Are you close, love?” I grunted, squeezing her throat lightly in my hold. I didn’t even need to hear her answer, I could feel her clenching, shaking again. I just wanted to hear her say it.

  “Yes,” A breath- so quiet, so soft.

  “Scream my name, love. I want to hear it.” My whispered words were spoken into her skin as I kissed the back of her neck and shoulders, feeling her nails suddenly scrape my stomach from where her hands were jammed between us. “Cum with me.”

  My insides tightened and she clamped around me as I made a final thrust. Our grunts and swears mixed, filling the air, the two of us intertwined in words and actions as we came together. Nothing ever felt more right.

  When we finally managed to come down from the high, we were both too exhausted to move. I was barely able to undo the tie. She curled into me and that damn soothing music played as we caressed each other.

  I didn’t know how much time had passed when Avery finally spoke.

  “Will you do something for me?”

  “Anything.”

  She sat up on an elbow so she could look me in the eyes, running a hand along my cheek. It was clear she was scared. The look she gave me was so similar to the ones she gave the doctors that first night at the hospital with John. My stomach knotted in worry at whatever had her so concerned.

  “I love you and I love this. And I want you-, I want you-”

  Her words stopped.

  “It’s okay, Avery.” I was sorry that she was so scared to speak, to tell me what it was that she wanted. I would have to earn the trust back that was lost on that dock. Heal what I had broken. “There’s nothing you can say that will make me run this time.”


  I meant that. I wanted Avery. She understood me. She believed in me. Pity wasn’t what shined in her beautiful green eyes, just trust and hope, and love.

  She smiled at me, unsure.

  “Will you talk to someone?…I’ll go with you if you want.”

  Well shit. I hadn’t been expecting that. My brows furrowed and she doubled back.

  “I meant what I said, she deserved it, but you don’t. You don’t deserve to live with the memories and the voices. I want the world for you, Garrett.”

  And she did. I could feel it in her touch, in the way she looked at me. She wanted to help, not out of sadness for what I had been through, but as a hope that I could move on. That we could both move on. Away from the voices and the memories, the constant need for pain and sex and anger. I could give her that, give us that. So, I nodded my agreement and kissed her softly before offering her breakfast. She agreed, but only if I wore the apron, just the apron. Dirty pet.

  Chapter 37

  Avery-Present

  A month passed in a blink. One moment I was lying in bed with Garrett, talking about therapy, sucking him off while he cooked us breakfast in just an apron and the next, I was helping Dad through the front door. Time was going so fast. Happiness will do that. There was still a lot of healing to be done, still arguments and nightmares, but progress was being made. For everybody.

  "I've got it!" Dad said gruffly, brushing my arm away.

  He was almost back to his old self, but he still needed help getting around. He forced Garrett's arm off a second later and I rolled my eyes. Leave it to Dad to fight both of us tooth and nail. He sat down on the couch and I smiled, glad to see him back where he belonged. In this house, with Garrett. I was a bit sad that I wouldn't be living at home anymore, but glad that I could visit often. Like every day. I'd made an agreement with my work to extend my remote job permanently. I had no intention of leaving Dad again. I wanted to enjoy every second I could with him. My brain flashed to an image of Garrett. Okay, so he also had something to do with my decision.

  We wanted to be a couple, and long distance just wasn't in the cards. It took a bit for Dad to come around to that idea- the thought of us as a couple. We hadn't told him the whole story of course, but he knew that we had grown close while he was away. He didn't like the thought of me hooking up with someone who was only a year sober. I had shaken off his concern there. If Garrett fell off the wagon, I had faith that he would find his way back to me. His second concern was that he didn't like how fast we had moved into the relationship. He'd let that drop when I had mentioned his budding "friendship" with Ferrah and how that seemed rather fast too. A lot faster than dating someone I'd known since high school. Check and mate.

  "Are you both just going to stand there and stare at me? Don't you have some sort of appointment?" He turned on the television, effectively tuning us out. "Besides, Ferrah is coming over."

  I blushed. Dad certainly wasn't known for his subtlety. He knew that I was taking Garrett to his first therapy appointment. I was going to drop him off and wait. He wasn't comfortable taking me inside, but he wanted me there, so that's where I would be.

  "Thanks, old man." Garrett teased him with a shake of his head, handing me my jacket. "Make sure to hang a sock on the door or something, will ya?"

  Garrett's words made me groan. I swear, would he ever learn to censor himself? I thought about the night before, how he had spent the entire night worshiping me with his body and words for the last time in my childhood room. So maybe I didn't want that. Yeah, censorship was overrated. I smiled at the thought of last night. I would miss my room. I was moving into my own apartment next week and we decided that it was better if he continued to live with Dad for a while. He would sleep over of course, as much as we wanted. We were letting the relationship move naturally though, giving it another month or two before we would move in together. It was different than with Michael, it wasn't because I didn't want to. Quite the opposite, I was counting down the days. But I wanted Garrett to take care of himself first and that meant time away from me. He couldn't use me as his coping mechanism.

  We drove to the therapist's office and he held my hand during the entire drive so I could gently scrape at his hand. I would miss that, being the only one to soothe him. I knew better than to say it out loud though. He needed an outside voice, a professional, to help ease the pain, the trauma. He was quiet and thoughtful as he drove, but the silence was easy, never tense. When he put the truck into park, I broke that easy silence.

  "Are you ready?"

  He huffed out a heavy breath and gave me a nod.

  "I'll be right here," I said, pulling out my worn copy of The Giver. He smirked at me when he saw the title. Good. I wanted to make him comfortable, to give him good thoughts and memories to hold on to. I had old reruns of Inflictions on my phone too, in case I got bored while I waited, but that was my little secret. He leaned in to give me a kiss, a deep longing kiss that made my toes curl and my breath catch. I gripped onto the collar of his jacket and pulled him into me instinctively. He had to be the one to lean back and end the kiss. I may have whimpered. Wow, pathetic, Avery.

  "Be good, Pet." He whispered to me and I let my nails graze his neck. He caught my hand with his own, staring at me with a sparkle of mischief in his eyes that made it clear that I would pay for that later. Good, I couldn't wait.

  "Yes, Sir."

  And with that said, he stepped out of the truck and took one more step towards healing, to becoming less of the shadow. With every passing day the memory of that shadow faded and the broken man I loved became a little less broken, a little less hurt. I knew then that the only pain eventually would be the kind we found in the sheets. I giggled at the thought, a snort slipping between my lips as I opened my well-worn book about a frightened boy and his brother.

  The End

  Epilogue

  Garrett- 3 years later

  Dinner with my family was short, but I enjoyed it immensely. Laura and Robert were so enamored with the baby they hardly noticed we left. Spence and Chris' daughter was already so big, coming close to 6 months. They'd used a friend as a surrogate and had announced their intentions to have a baby not long after I'd moved in with Avery. It had been a process of course, but Ayla Lee-Hathaway was the light of the household at every family meeting. We were inching up on the holidays and everyone was so excited for her firsts. I think she was the only kid in this world that I could tolerate, and Avery tended to agree. For short periods of time anyway. She was still too young to talk though or really do anything more than shit or cry or giggle. Give it a few years. Avery and I were still very happy I was fixed, and we would dodge that bullet. Our dog, Jonas, was enough of a handful. Besides, we were too busy with each other.

  We left early to stop by Dad's house with a fresh pie that Robert had made. Pecan. Dad's favorite. Ferrah's too. Avery loved her stepmother fiercely. The woman was a force to be reckoned with and she did a good job of keeping us all in line. She actually kicked us out when Dad and Avery got to talking, knowing damn well we had an appointment to keep this evening.

  I pulled my little gift for Avery from the glove box just as we hit the highway on the way to Harrow.

  "Put it in, Pet."

  She smiled wide and followed my instructions. She had just gotten herself situated when I pressed a button on a remote attached to my keychain. Her hands clasped onto the seat and she squirmed with a deep moan. Oh yeah...this was going to be fun.

  "Does it feel good?" I said, pressing that button again and she hummed. I glanced over to see her biting her lip.

  "Use your words, Pet. I have to keep my eyes on the road."

  "Feels good," she said, breathing heavy. I kicked up the vibration and she slammed her hand on to the dash. "Fuck!"

  The vibrator she wore was as much a gift to me as it was to her. She was going to be soaking by the time we got home.

  I turned the intensity down again and we drove. Avery got used to the sensation, only occasionally lettin
g out of a moan or two before I would stop the vibrations all together. I was going to edge her for hours and that long distant monster roared inside me at the thought.

  "Take a minute." I said, parking the truck in front of the tattoo shop. She rested her head in her arms, leaning on the dash. "You'll need to collect yourself in public, Pet."

  She glared at me and I laughed. That damn button burned a whole in my pants as I sat in the chair.

  Avery's hand gripped mine lightly, stroking me absentmindedly with her nails as the needle touched my skin. I didn't register the pain in the same way as I had with the raven. It wasn't my salvation anymore. I still liked the way it felt, the hot burn as the artist outlined and shaded the left side of my chest, but it wasn't what grounded me. The hours in the chair were more relaxing than anything else. It was a chance to talk to Avery about her day, about the new marketing material she had created for our construction company. John had brought us in as partners earlier in the year. He was too busy spending time with Ferrah to waste it all with work. I told her a bit about my day on site and we talked about some show we were catching up on. She read for a bit. For a while we even sat in comfortable silence as the needle buzzed. I sat for almost six hours as the needle broke my skin repeatedly, but it didn't feel like any time had passed at all.