A Soldier for Keeps

by Jillian Hart

  I can picture you as a chess champion—quiet, charming and strategic. I’ve been known to play a good game, but I’m out of practice. I would be no match for you.

  A secret talent? I can pop a bag of microwave popcorn so that nearly every kernel pops without scorching it.

  Your turn,

  Lexie.

  Lexie,

  I’m seriously talented at eating popcorn, kernels and all. Right now I’m trying to ignore the guys who have just discovered I’m e-mailing you, a girl. I’m taking a ribbing. It’s not easy being me.

  Gotta run,

  Pierce.

  Pierce,

  Sorry you have it so tough and that no one understands you.

  Lexie.

  Lexie,

  I appreciate your sympathy. After much explanation and a water balloon fight, where I was victorious, I think I have finally made my fellow team members understand our relationship. That’s another secret talent of mine. I am a water balloon champion. It dates back to the days when I was tormenting my little brothers on those hot Wyoming summer days. Not that I’m the kind of guy to torment anyone, but a big brother has his responsibilities.

  Pierce.

  Pierce,

  I am not at all surprised to learn about your water balloon talents. I’m an only child, so my water balloon skills were never fully developed since I lacked adequate targets. Although I have some experience from when I spent parts of the summer with my cousins. I am much better at sprinkler hopping. Even now, I’ve been known to jump through a sprinkler and embarrass my mother. They live on a very hoity-toity street where girls in college are not usually seen running through lawn sprinklers.

  I am running out of secret talents. One thing I’m really good at is making cake disappear. They had red velvet cake with cream cheese frosting for dessert at the dining hall, and I ate two pieces. Scary, but true.

  Here’s hoping that I’m not too dull for words, having gone through all my talents, and that you aren’t bored beyond belief.

  Take care,

  Lexie.

  Lexie glanced at her clock. She had five minutes to find her Bible. Now where was it hiding? As she clunked around her front room in her walking cast, she looked under cushions and behind pillows and beneath the piles of paper that seemed to be everywhere. Some of the sheets were class notes, others drafts of papers that were due, and some were just stuff she still had to deal with, like the appointment she needed to make with her faculty advisor.

  Where could it be? She’d had it for morning chapel and it had been in her backpack at lunch when she’d wanted to look up a passage. What if she’d left it in the dining hall? Surely someone had turned it in to the lost and found bin, but she really didn’t have time to go down and look for it. No, she’d had it when she’d looked up a passage for her religion class.

  She sat down at her desk, deciding to plow through the stacks of paper and books one more time. Was it her fault her laptop was sitting there? She couldn’t help tapping on the keyboard. It would take only a sec to check her in-box. It had been eight days since she’d sent her last e-mail to Pierce. Spring break was over and the last quarter of the school year had begun.

  Why was her heart tapping like reveille as she waited for a peek at her messages? It defied explanation. She only knew that his name was not in her in-box. He hadn’t written. Maybe he hadn’t found time to, but that didn’t change a disturbing truth.

  She missed him. More than she wanted to admit.

  “Lexie?” There was a rap at her door. Amber, Giselle and Rose were waiting for her, study books and Bibles in hand. “Are you ready?”

  She closed her laptop and there was her Bible. The screen had been a good shield. She grabbed it, doing her best to put all thoughts of Pierce on hold. But those thoughts followed her as she grabbed her keys and stepped into the hallway. Her feelings for him stuck with her wherever she went.

  Chapter Nine

  It felt good to be back at base camp. Engines from the birds rumbled on takeoff like an earthquake through the mess tent as Pierce shoveled in the last bite of spaghetti and meatballs and tossed his fork on his tray. The tables were crammed with soldiers, which meant he might have a short wait for the computers. Still chewing, he grabbed his tray, bussed it and dashed through the pounding rain.

  Beyond the secure perimeter of fence, razor wire and barriers was an unfamiliar landscape of dense jungle and low-topped mountains. Inside the perimeter was the familiar tent base that seemed unchanging. He hiked past tents offering glimpses inside of soldiers cleaning their rifles, reading or in heated, good-natured debates. Others hustled back and forth on duty. Dogs and their keepers patrolled the camp. Wing lights lifted through the sky as another transport took off.

  He ducked into a tent, dripping with rain. He’d guessed right. Not only was there no line, but one of the computers was open. Hot dog! He dropped into the chair and began tapping away.

  His excitement to hear from her had to be wrong. Why wasn’t a warning bell going off in the back of his head? The bell that should remind him he was getting way too involved. There was no time for a warning of any kind, he realized, because he’d already spotted Lexie’s e-mail waiting for him. It was too late. Logic set in. He told himself it wasn’t a romantic interest. Lexie was an important link with normal life. But that didn’t explain why he fidgeted impatiently while the computer took forever to open the letter. And it didn’t explain why he’d bypassed reading other e-mails from Giselle, Sean and his uncle to open Lexie’s first.

  He read her words, hearing her voice and her intonation. Time and distance melted away and in his mind he was back on that campus with her, watching her smile sweeten her already adorable face and breathe to life something good inside him. The rigors of his deployment dissolved. He felt better than he had in a long time.

  Lexie,

  Me, bored by you? Never. This is the first time I’ve been able to sit down at a keyboard. They’ve got us pretty busy. When there’s a natural disaster, someone has to help keep the peace if necessary. I got spoiled hanging out with you and with my family. It’s easy to forget how easy I have things, because it doesn’t seem easy at all. Back home I was worried about my family and their pressure to get out of the Army.

  But all it takes is a week seeing villagers who have lost what little they have to remember my troubles are nothing. I’m reminded how blessed I’ve been all my life. I’m glad I’ve signed on the dotted line, and it’s official. I’m in for another four years. It feels right.

  My number-one blessing is good family and friends. And yes, I guess that includes you. Although don’t quote me on that.

  He leaned back in the chair, finger hovering over the backspace key, debating those words. They looked stark and final on the screen, as if they were more significant than they were. If he sent it as it was, would Lexie read something into it? Or would she understand how affirming it felt to be able to talk to her like this?

  He was grateful for her friendship. She was on his prayer list every night. Just writing to her made the exhaustion of his mission ease and the hardship of being deployed only a minor blip. Yeah, he would leave it. He trusted her to understand. He sat up and finished typing.

  What’s at the top of your blessing list?

  I’ll write when I can,

  Pierce.

  “Hey, Lexie.”

  At the whispered sound of her name, she blinked, pulling herself out of Pierce’s letter. She was in the library, studying at her favorite cubby in the far back corner. Her classmate and friend, Cari, was standing next to her desk, laden down with an armload of textbooks. She had a similar stack next to her computer. “You look as exhausted as I feel.”

  “I keep hearing from my mom how much fun she had in college.” Cari rolled her eyes. “Where’s the fun? I’m missing it.”

  “Me, too. For me, it’s mostly studying, writing tons of papers and test anxiety.”

  “Yep, that’s it exactly.” Cari gave her long hair a t
oss and dropped her books on the window ledge. “How’s your research paper going? Did you get your topic approved?”

  “Yeah, but it was a shocker.” She had decided on studying grief in military families. “I thought Dr. Fleming was going to nix it, but she loved it. It’s too broad right now, but I’ll get it focused.”

  “Cool. I had to revise mine. No surprise there.” Cari gestured down the aisle. “I’m going down to the candy shop. Did you want me to get you anything?”

  “I would love some chocolate.” Not that she needed any. But did that stop her from digging out enough change for a Snickers bar? No. “Thanks, Cari.”

  “Hey, you did the same for me last week.” She took the quarters, pocketed them, and gathered up her load of books. “I’ll be back in a few.”

  Yes, she was grateful for the blessings of her friends, too. She considered the e-mail staring back at her on her screen. Seeing his answer and that he was fine made her glow like a moonbeam.

  Pierce,

  I’m glad to see a note from you in my in-box. I knew you were okay or Giselle would have told me, but still. A girl worries about her friends.

  You’ve been peacekeeping, huh? There have been a couple natural disasters in the news—a tsunami and a drought that has driven people from their homes in search of food. I’m going to pay attention to the news tonight and think of you. You should be proud of the work you do. I am proud of you.

  That said, now I feel almost guilty for how easy my life is. You’ve got me thinking, Pierce. My biggest concerns are hitting my deadline schedule for my research project, getting ready for my brain biology and behavior test and being fairly frugal so that my spending money lasts until summer break. I don’t have to worry about starvation or shelter or losing everything I’ve ever worked for. I’ve got it great in comparison. I know that and I’m grateful. I’m more determined to make good use of my opportunities. It would be wrong to waste them, when others don’t have the same chances. That’s at the top of my blessings list.

  That said, I really should study, but what am I doing? Yes, I’m still writing to you.:) I count you in with some of my best blessings. It’s rare to have a friend like you. I feel I can say anything to you. Maybe because you are so far away. Or maybe it’s because we’re more alike than we are different, like true kindred spirits.

  Adios,

  Lexie.

  “One Snickers bar.” Cari slid the candy on the desk. “You’re not doing homework. You’re writing a love letter.”

  “A like letter.” She should have been listening for her friend’s footsteps, but she’d been absorbed in her writing. “Really, it’s even more of a crush letter, if that’s possible.”

  “A crush letter? You mean you think wow about the guy, but he’s not a keeper.”

  “Something like that.” She reached for the candy bar and ripped the end off the wrapper. She couldn’t imagine that Pierce would let anyone keep him. He’d sounded pretty adamant, for practical reasons and personal ones, which she could understand. It would be hard to have anything more than a friendship with so much of the world between them.

  “It’s nothing serious.” She peeled the chocolate coating off the end of the bar and popped it into her mouth. “At least that’s what I keep telling myself.”

  “It’s the guy I saw you with that day in the cafeteria. Sounds to me as if you’re falling for him.” Cari backed away with her Butterfinger bar in hand, toward her cubicle. “Maybe that should be my project. The difference between love and almost love.”

  “Something tells me our professor won’t go for it.”

  “You’re right. See you!” She gave a finger wave and disappeared around the corner.

  The student on the other side of the aisle stared at her in disapproval. They had been whispering, but it probably had been disruptive.

  “Sorry,” she said and went back to her computer, staring at the “message sent” note on her screen. It was in Pierce’s in-box right now, wherever he was, safe or in danger. Her heart squeezed hard.

  I’m not falling for him, she told herself firmly. But it was too late to stop the inevitable. She was falling for the dream of the guy, the stalwart soldier, the strong, good Christian man, the charming hunk that made her spirit as bright as the Milky Way.

  She peeled another piece of chocolate off the candy bar, let it melt on her tongue and tried to focus her thoughts on her studying. It was impossible. It was too late for doom. She was heading straight for a serious disaster.

  Lexie,

  Nice thought, but kindred spirits is a girl thing. Guys do not have kindred spirits. We have buddies. Ranger Buddies. Army Buddies. Basic buddies. Tent buddies. FYI.

  Another blessing I’m grateful for: dry socks. Seems like a small thing, sure, but when you’ve been wading through swamps and muddy ponds up to your waist and walking through the night rain in wet socks, you start longing for the simple comforts. A campfire. The chance to stand still for five minutes. Dry socks.

  Your turn,

  Pierce.

  Pierce,

  So sorry about the kindred spirits thing. I don’t want to insult your male pride. I guess that puts me squarely in the homeland buddies category.:)

  I have never realized the importance of dry socks, but I have to concur. I just got my walking cast off and wearing shoes and socks has never felt so good!

  A blessing I’m grateful for: that time of night at the very end of your day, when everything is either done or you’ve let go of it because it has to wait until tomorrow. The night is quiet and still, and your prayers are said. That moment when I snuggle into bed ready to go to sleep is when I feel my most grateful. As if I am full from a day I’ve done my best with, and thankful for the chance to do it all again tomorrow.

  Your bud,

  Lexie.

  Lexie,

  Congrats on being a biped again. Mobility is a great thing. I’m guessing it’s made your life a whole lot easier.

  Sure, go ahead and rub it in. Some folks get a warm dry bed every night. We run a lot of missions at night. We’re supposed to be prepping right now. I’m mostly done, but I wanted to jet off an e-mail to you before I go out. I’m suited and booted. Face paint is next. It’s my favorite part, camouflaging my skin so I look like part of the terrain. Yeah, I know what’s coming. Some joke about I’m already funny-looking enough as it is.

  A blessing I’m grateful for: cheese sticks. Eat some for me the next time you get a chance.

  Your bud,

  Pierce.

  Pierce,

  I hope your mission went well and the face painting was as fulfilling as you hoped it would be.

  I ate half a dozen cheesy sticks in your honor. It was pizza Friday at the dining hall, and I had more than a few slices of pizza, too.

  A blessing I’m grateful for: long red licorice ropes. I’m pretending they have no calories, after all that pizza. Keep watching the mail because a surprise is on its way to you. It may or may not involve licorice ropes.

  Summer is coming up and so is the leave you mentioned. If you’re ready for a challenge, swing by my uncle’s place on your way home. He’s the only Evans in the Swinging Rope phone book.

  Notice how I didn’t make one comment about you being funny-looking?

  Buds,

  Lexie.

  Was it wrong that she kept checking her e-mail? Lexie swallowed her disappointment. A week had gone by, and no answer from Pierce. She closed her in-box, turned her back on her computer and slipped out of her sweater. What was wrong with her? She scolded herself as she tossed her cardigan onto the sun-soaked arm of the sofa. She had a thousand things to do, with worship and school foremost, and yet what was topping her thoughts? Pierce’s silence.

  Stop worrying, she told herself. He’s fine. He’s gone longer than this without answering before. She dropped her keys on the corner of the desk and hefted her backpack from where it slumped, forgotten, on the floor. The problem wasn’t Pierce’s lack of response as much as i
t was with her. It was all her.

  You can’t deny it anymore, Alexis Anne Evans. You have more than a crush on the man. She dropped her pack on the sofa, plopped onto the cushion next to it and tugged on the zipper. Caring for Pierce had happened one small step at a time, so that she could try to ignore each step, but now that she looked over how far she’d come, she could see the flaw in her approach.

  Ignoring her crush hadn’t stopped it from growing. Treating her fond feelings as harmless hadn’t stopped them from deepening. Her panic meter wasn’t going off because he was half a world away and their only contact was through e-mail. Logically, there was no reason to panic. Nothing could come of their relationship. She knew that. It was one of the things that had been so attractive about their friendship.

  But what was going to happen down the road? Was her affection for him going to continue to deepen? Would her heart be irrevocably broken?

  A knock pounded on her partially open door, sending it swinging open. Amber stood frozen in the threshold, looking panicked. “Come quick! It’s Giselle.”

  “Giselle?” She’d thought the girl was emotionally doing better, but everyone had bumps in the road. She followed Amber down the hall, her pulse frantic against her ribcage. Her ankle still twinged when she ran on it, but she raced anyway, passing opened doors giving views of girls studying at desks, on the floor with books strewn around them, on their beds, all very serious with finals a week away. A few were gathering up their things to head to lunch.

  “I just turned on the TV to catch the noon news,” Amber explained as she reached the end of the hall and the last door on the right. “And look what’s on.”

  Giselle sat on the edge of her pink-covered bed, jaw dropped, eyes wide with terror, as pale as snow. She didn’t blink, riveted to the small flat screen situated between their two desks where the caption on the ticker at the bottom of the screen rolled by like a headline. American embassy under siege. An Army helicopter shot down. Reports of casualties.