The One That I Want (Scorned Women Society Book 3)

by Piper Sheldon

  “I’m good on excitement for a while,” I said to Skip taking a sip of the steaming tea before setting it on the coffee table.

  He chuckled from the other end of the brown leather couch and I glimpsed his bashful smile before he ducked his head. He was the definition of Colorado beautiful. He wore flannel authentically, his beard was full and brown, and he was built like someone who could actually chop wood and rescue five children under each arm. A grizzly bear with a marshmallow soul.

  “You’re probably used to this though with the corporate adventuring,” I said. “Saving lives, no biggie.”

  “Not as much as you might think for what we do. Most people are pretty respectful of the rules. And because of the liability, Outside the Box has a lot of safety measures in place, more than if it were just a group of guys going camping with a few kegs and a shotgun,” he explained.

  “Is Sanders always this …” I trailed off wanting to say “stupid” but knew I was just cranky because he’d scared me so bad.

  “Reckless?” he finished for me, then said, “Yes.”

  I remember the way he looked at his friend earlier. Concerned but also tired.

  “He definitely strikes me as the leap-before-you-look type,” I said.

  This added to my overall anxiety regarding Sanders. He was just too big. He overflowed with too much life. He didn’t fit in this life here. Not that it mattered. Not that I worried about how we would fit …

  “He’s always been like that. It’s great in some ways. He’s always so inherently sure of OTB’s success that it’s impossible not to feel some level of that confidence.”

  I chewed on my cheek. “But sometimes?”

  “Well, then sometimes he jumps on a plane without telling me to go after …” I didn’t mean to react but I must have tensed slightly because he trailed off, finishing lamely with, “… a possible business venture.”

  I nodded feeling slightly disappointed. “You’re so close.”

  “As close as two friends can be.” Skip studied his mug of tea.

  I had just been about to dig for more information when Sanders popped up. He was always popping up. He was like a little bubble rising to the surface, nothing could keep him down. Carbonation must have been contagious because it felt like I was filled with bubbles too as soon as I saw him.

  “We’re closer than that, hey?” Sanders said. “We’re brothers.” He sat directly between Skip and me, forcing us to scoot over to make room.

  Skip carefully lifted his tea to the side table to avoid spilling it. “How are you feeling?” he asked.

  “Great. That shower did me wonders.” Sanders stretched out so his legs were propped up on the table and his arms stretched behind Skip and me respectively. The smell of fresh laundry and the hotel bar soap shook up the bubbles inside me, sending tiny bumps down my neck and arms.

  How was this the same man that was unresponsive not that long ago? The tension I’d been holding on to started to relax seeing he was back to his old self. Or at least pretending to be.

  “And your ankle?” I asked cautiously.

  “It smarts a bit, but it’ll be okay.” Sanders’ head twisted from me to Skip and back again. “So what’re we talking about? Me? Go on. Pretend like I’m not here.”

  “We’re talking about how you continue to put yourself in stupid situations with no concern for your own safety,” Skip said in his normal even-keeled tone but there was just the slightest edge to his voice.

  “What? I did no such thing. I had you with me. You’re first aid trained,” Sanders said to Skip. “And see, it all worked out.”

  “No thanks to me.” Skip held up his hands quickly before tucking them back under his arms. “If it wasn’t for Roxy, who knows where you’d be.”

  “Roxy, hey?” He raised a cocky eyebrow.

  “We’re lucky I got there in time to help carry you,” I said ignoring Sanders’ ridiculous smile. This one would be called “aglow.”

  “You two worry too much. The water was a bit of a shock. We’ve been trained to not react to freezing water.” He glanced to me. “When you experience cold water—the body wants to gasp and flail and that can do more damage. When I got pulled under, I was just trying to stay calm until you guys got me out. I knew you would.”

  “You weren’t responding,” I said flatly. How could he be so calm about this? I was getting pissed off. His life wasn’t a toy that could be easily replaced. Did he not understand that? Did he not see how bad he scared his best friend?

  “I knew you’d save me,” he said and squeezed my shoulder.

  I stiffened and chewed the inside of my lip unable to look at him.

  Skip said, “I’m Red Cross certified too. But I was referring to the CPR. Roxy all but knocked me down to get on top of you to start chest compressions.”

  I sat very still keeping my breaths even in hopes of stopping a blush from giving me away. “My training must have kicked in. We have to take a course to work in management.”

  Of course there was nothing in my CPR training that suggested straddling the victim. I hadn’t been thinking clearly at the moment.

  “And then it took two full-grown men to pry her away from you when the EMTs wanted to examine you,” Skip finished oh so helpfully.

  “I don’t remember it happening that way,” I mumbled.

  But I had been experiencing a sort of tunnel vision in that moment. I had only been focused on making sure he was okay. He was the Lodge’s guest and soon we’d be working together, of course I was concerned for his safety.

  “You were yelling at him too,” Skip said.

  Had I? I remembered swearing him out in my head. Had I been saying that out loud? That would explain why my throat felt sore.

  “Aww, my hero,” Sanders said.

  He clasped his hands, pretending to swoon. When he dropped his arms again, his left hand fell briefly onto my thigh. He immediately pulled it back but the damage had been done. All the bubbles dancing in my stomach fizzled through my body, tingling from my breasts to my toes. My mind flashed us back to the club when my body rocked against his and his hand ran up my thigh.

  Just like that, the anger I’d been feeling at his complete lack of concern for his health melted into relief. As though the stress of the day was cotton candy left out in the rain, it dissolved around me into a sticky mess of confusing feelings. His thigh pressed up to mine was so warm when he’d been icy cold only a bit ago. All I wanted to do was wrap my arms around him and tell him I was so glad he was okay. And then punch him for scaring us.

  I stared at his lap, without really seeing, as the memory replayed in my head.

  When I realized where I had inadvertently focused, I shot my gaze up only to find him watching me closely. His face remained neutral, or rather his sort of neutral, which was a half-cocked grin. We were so off track we’d somehow missed Old Friend Town and landed at Awkward Moment Junction. Time to get this conversation back on a more professional track.

  Skip cleared his throat and stood up. “I better call the office and see how they’re doing without us. Glad you’re okay, bud.”

  “Always,” Sanders replied with a smile.

  “Bye, Skip. I’ll call you about dinner tomorrow,” I said.

  “Love you, Skippo,” Sanders said.

  “Love you too,” Skip said and left.

  It was refreshing to see such closeness in two men that didn’t need to be wrapped in bravado. They loved each other and they told each other. There was something sweetly simplistic about it. I felt an ache of jealousy thinking about Gretchen. I still hadn’t spoken to her in a couple days. Even though I thought about texting her a hundred times. But even when we were talking, I don’t know that we ever shared that level of affection. I didn’t really show affection, period. Just thinking the L word made me itchy.

  I forced those thoughts away. The whole third of the couch to Sanders’ right was now unoccupied but he didn’t scoot over.

  “Is he okay?” I asked after
Skip was gone. I couldn’t shake the fact that something was bothering him. “Besides seeing his best friend almost drown,” I added.

  “Skippo? He’ll be fine.”

  “He mentioned you’d been hurt before?”

  “Nothing major. Hazards of the profession.” Somehow I thought it was more than that. “Are you worried about me?” He grinned at me and I glared.

  “No.” Yes, you freaking fool.

  “You’ve saved me twice today,” he said in a deep, rumbling whisper. “I’m feeling quite emasculated.”

  “Somehow I doubt that.”

  There was something intriguing about Sanders’ cool confidence. I was used to men with big swagger and lots of talk. Tattoos and hairy beards to shout out their manliness. His confidence seemed to glow deep within him like an ember that never went out. Whereas one strong breeze could knock out the ego of most men.

  Nothing about Sanders was like the usual masculine energy I was used to. And it was … attractive. Even now I saw the workers at the front desk eyeing him. I glared at them until they got back to work.

  “Here I am, the Australian adventurer felled by a stream. I feel silly,” he said.

  I held his gaze, remembering how lifeless he looked earlier. The firelight jumped in his eyes. Emotion tightened my throat until I cleared it.

  “That shouldn’t make you feel silly,” I said. My focus traveled to his feet. “Your slippers should do that.”

  He followed my focus where he tapped the toes of his horrendous shoes together. They were black rubber Crocs-style slip-ons lined with fur. They were horrendous. How could a man with those shoes cause me to have all these bubbly feelings? Roxy ten years ago wouldn’t recognize this girl.

  “Don’t hate on these beauts. Like walking on clouds,” he said.

  I sighed and let my head fall back on the couch. Now the buzz was wearing off into exhaustion. I’d have to get up soon. Just five more minutes.

  “This Lodge is gorgeous,” he said.

  “Mmm,” I agreed sleepily. “Wait until you see the changes they’re making.”

  But he wouldn’t see them, would he? Eventually, he’d go back to Denver and a life I knew little about.

  “And the forest, for what I’ve seen is just lovely. But that bridge is a bit dangerous. You guys might want to think about marking that.”

  I slowly turned my head toward him. “You’re kidding me.”

  “What?” He too had his head leaned back, and his eyes were heavy. He must be exhausted too. With both of our heads back and legs up and me wrapped under a blanket, it was almost like we were sleeping together.

  “Did y’all really not see the five different notices posted about flash flooding? And how it very specifically says not to take this trail if it’s supposed to rain?”

  Sanders looked up and around. His eyebrows furrowed. “I guess we missed those.”

  I sighed but was really fighting not to smile. He made it very difficult to stay mad at him. “You. You are the reason we have umbrella insurance.”

  “Would you believe that isn’t the first time I heard that?”

  That time I couldn’t hold back the laugh. It was a cough that I quickly covered up. His eyes were lit with joy before they dropped to my mouth. My head fell back and I watched the fire. My heart was pounding with nerves.

  “That knob took his blanket with him.” Sanders rubbed his hands up and down his goose-bumped arms.

  I fought the nervous shudder, doing something I’d probably regret. I sighed in frustration. At myself. I was an idiot. I untucked myself and stood up.

  Sanders frowned. “Was it something I said?”

  “Shut up,” I said as I unwrapped the blanket from around me and shook it to spread it out. I covered us both as I sat back down, keeping a healthy, professional distance between us.

  Under the blanket. Which we were sharing. Next to a fire.

  I was a damn fool.

  “Cozy,” he said quietly.

  I didn’t respond. I just kept my focus firmly on the fire. My hands were loose by my sides, palms down. Sharing this blanket shifted the entire energy of the room.

  At first, I wasn’t sure that I really felt it. My right pinky was nudged slightly. Without moving my focus from the fire, I studied Sanders in my periphery. He, as always, seemed perfectly relaxed as he settled into the couch. His eyes shut with a contented sigh.

  Did he notice that his finger grazed mine? My heart was pounding so loud that he must have felt the couch shaking. A slight brush of skin and my body was as enflamed as it was that night in Denver. I tried to calm my breathing. I would just twitch my finger and cough, alerting him to the fact that we were touching and he’d pull away. I supposed that I could pull away too. But no reason to make a mountain out of a molehill.

  Too late.

  I shifted my weight, under the guise of settling in. My hand definitely moved. It moved a lot more than I intended. Now the entire sides of our hands were flush. Why wasn’t he pulling away? Was he feeling this too? Or was he so used to physical intimacy that this was no big deal. My chest was moving up and down in an embarrassing fashion. I needed to get myself under control. Normal people didn’t act like this when they were casually touched.

  Neither of us moved. We still faced the fire. What if someone saw us? Could they see the conflicted emotions on my face?

  Just move, Roxy. Just pull your arm away. What would the SWS do?

  I did move, but my damn traitorous body did not obey my screaming mind. Instead, my hand inched closer. His hand instantly reacted. As I slid mine closer, his flipped over. Our fingers intertwined. His was calloused but tender. Warm without suffocating. It fit mine perfectly. He squeezed it lightly.

  I couldn’t explain the moisture that burned my eyes then. The emotion that made my throat feel too tight. I swallowed it all deep down. I kept my face neutral. I’d been so scared earlier. More than I would ever admit. Having him next to me felt like a second chance. How many second chances could one gal get before her luck ran out?

  None of this made sense. I knew pushing him away would keep my control in place. It would protect me from making any more mistakes with my life. But I couldn’t move from that spot. When he held my hand, I felt more tethered to life, not less. He made me want more.

  I swallowed and turned my head toward him. The second I did, he turned too, like he’d been waiting for it but didn’t want to make the first move. His fair cheeks were splotchy with color. His chest, too, rose and fell quickly. His Adam’s apple moved up and down on a swallow.

  What does this mean? I thought.

  It doesn’t have to mean anything, he seemed to say in return.

  His thumb moved gently on the back of my hand shooting electricity through my whole body.

  I opened my mouth to speak when I heard my name.

  “Roxanne,” Vincent said.

  I glanced up to find my manager glancing between Sanders and me and the blanket.

  I’d never moved so fast. Pulled my hand away and stood up so fast.

  Felt ashamed so damn fast.

  Sanders

  Once on a camping trip as a kid, Dad came across a rattlesnake hanging out near a ditch. My dad, who was never afraid of anything, jumped a foot in the air. I’d never seen someone run away so fast. At least, not until Vincent approached us and Roxy shot up like she’d been bitten. I fought to keep my face easygoing but her reaction stung.

  It was probably a good thing.

  I’d been struggling. When I learned the lengths that Roxy went to save me, my affection grew. How could it not? But I couldn’t just forget everything she’d shared with me earlier in the day. She wanted to be friends. I could and would respect that. As we sat next to each other on the couch, every thought in my head consisted of “would I do this with Skip?” If I would do it with Skip, then it was all good. Skip and I were affectionate. Skip and I hugged. I could potentially hold hands with Skip …

  But then again, it never felt that way when I
touched other friends. It never lit me up with a million tiny shocks of electricity when our skin grazed. Holding Roxy’s hand for that minute had felt like a gift. I’d been about to do or say something very stupid when Vincent came up.

  Roxy was up and standing next to him before I registered the coldness of her absence. She tossed the blanket onto my lap, thankfully, as she jumped up. They stood side by side, Vincent in his expensive suit, Roxy with her hands clasped, her demeanor as professional as his. His face remained neutral except for one small tic in his cheek that disappeared as fast as it came.

  “Mr. Olsson, I heard about the accident. Glad you’re okay. Can we get you anything to make you more comfortable?” Vincent wasn’t a tall man but he seemed to tower now as he quickly glanced at his flashy watch.

  I was painfully aware of the blanket and the heat flushing my body. I sat forward, elbows on my knees.

  “Not at all. I’m totally fine,” I said. If I were him, I’d be worrying about a lawsuit, so I quickly added, “I feel stupid for ignoring all the clearly marked warnings.”

  Vincent flared his nostrils to let out a slow breath. So maybe that had been worrying him too. “We’re just happy it wasn’t anything more serious.”

  “Thanks to Ms. Kincaid,” I added.

  He glanced to Roxy, his features softening ever so slightly. She was too busy glaring at the floor to notice. “She keeps surprising us with her talents.”

  There was something I didn’t like about the way he looked at her. Well, he had eyes, so I couldn’t blame him. The admiration worried me a little more. Did she feel it in return? Was he the type she’d go for? Suave, rich, more self-contained. I fought to still myself but my leg jumped up and down.

  Vincent frowned to Roxy. “We’ll have to add this to the ever-growing list of fixes to the Lodge to avoid this ever happening again.”

  She nodded tightly. “Of course.”

  “Please let us know if you need anything,” he said to me, and then to Roxy, “Roxy, can I talk to you for a minute?”