Scarlett

by Kathleen Ball

  Homer and Lou both appeared a bit pale. “I didn’t see her leave,” Homer said.

  “I didn’t notice either, boss,” Lou admitted worriedly. “You don’t think she walked home, do you?”

  Dillon rubbed the back of his neck. “She’d never make it up the hill. She has to be around here somewhere. I’m going to the general store. She might have walked that far.”

  He doubted she’d go to the store since she hated the Bains, but it was worth a try. He opened the door and the familiar bell rang. Melly smiled widely as she rushed to his side.

  “What can I help you with?” she asked eagerly.

  “Have you seen Scarlett? She left the smithy.”

  “No, but I say good riddance. You didn’t even like her. Everyone knows it. Angel told us all about the other house you’re building. I’m only sorry you actually married Scarlett. I had hoped…well, you know.” She shrugged. “But you have to admit she’s not for you.”

  He frowned. “I wasn’t aware you’d spent any time with her.”

  “I wouldn’t have been caught speaking with the likes of her. She even had the nerve to accuse Elda of stealing from her. She’s nothing but an opportunist and a liar. Everyone thinks so.” Melly’s smirk sickened him.

  “She didn’t lie. I have to go.” He left before Melly could say another word. This was his fault. He never should have left the house after the first fight. Now people thought badly of Scarlett.

  He walked both sides of the street asking after her, but no one had seen her. Finally, he decided to walk to the falls. She’d wanted to see them, and he had never found the time to take her. He never found the time for her at all, it seemed, not in any way that counted, at least. Heck, what did he know about marriage anyway? His parents had hated each other and spent their lives fighting. Would he and Scarlett ever be able to find their way?

  He walked the path to the first waterfall and was disappointed and concerned when he didn’t find his wife. He sat on a rock and stared at the ground. What now? When he spotted the imprint from a walking stick, he sighed in relief. She was around here somewhere. With renewed vigor, he stood and followed the tracks.

  At last, he saw her up ahead. Her shoulders were shaking and her sobs were heart-wrenching. Why had he been so cold to her after she told him the truth about Dexter? All he wanted from her was the truth and he punished her for giving it. He was an idiot. Everyone made mistakes, and truthfully he could see a change in her, a good change.

  Did his reaction to her echo what he’d seen his father do? He walked faster until he got to where she sat weeping, and without a word, he knelt in front of her. She turned her head away but not before he saw how red her eyes had become.

  Taking both her hands in his, he quickly asked God for help. Dillon had learned from his mistakes and he wanted a second chance. Then he remembered God’s word. Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

  Dillon felt a glowing warmth take hold inside him. He did love Scarlett. He should not live by his parent’s example but by the word of God. They could build a good, strong marriage. If they worked at it and gave each other a second chance… He was blessed to have a second chance, and he wasn’t going to waste it.

  “Scarlett, look at me.” He waited but she didn’t turn her head. “Please, Scarlett, I need to apologize, and I hope you can forgive me. I’ve been so wrong, so very wrong, and I need to put things to right. You told me the truth last night, and I behaved like a jack… I behaved rather badly. I hope that we will always be truthful with each other and try to understand each other.”

  She still refused to look at him. He sighed. Now what?

  “Oh Dillon, give it up.” She spoke softly, sadness coloring each word. “You want nothing to do with me, and the whole town knows it. I bet the whole town would cheer the moment I left. Kindness is something you give to everyone else. Warmth is something you bestow to strangers and love is reserved for blondes who sing like angels. There is nothing left for me except contempt and pity. I know I’m no prize, but I dreamed of something more from a marriage. I suppose I’m lucky you don’t beat me. But sometimes being ignored or treated coldly can be just as bad. I don’t know what to do, but you and I are over. The worst part is, I really thought we could make a go at it. I’d hoped for happiness and children. Now I’ll have neither.” She raised her head and gave him a long look. “I think we can agree that I don’t need to live here any longer. I’d rather go home as a failure than live here while you and Angel build your house next to the one you expect me to live in.”

  She stood and took a few steps back toward town, but then she stopped and turned back, strain lining her face. “Are you planning on having children with her? I suppose once I’m gone it won’t make a difference. Tell people I died or something. It really doesn’t matter. I’ll have to be content helping my mother take care of the orphans. I’d appreciate it if you took care of the traveling plans for me. I’m penniless.” Her voice broke as she spoke.

  He stood there in shock. How had it come to this? There would be no talking to her until she calmed herself. He did know one thing, though. There was no way he was letting her go. He hurt inside watching her struggling to walk. Why was she so sure it was Angel he wanted? He’d barely had a conversation with Angel. He didn’t understand women at all.

  * * *

  The pain of walking exhausted her but she wasn’t about to stop. She half expected Dillon to catch up with her, but he didn’t. She made it to the smithy and asked Homer to drive her home.

  She had to bite her lip to keep from crying while he drove the wagon. She got down herself and hurried into the house. She’d return home shamed but she wasn’t going to look like some poor beggar woman. Grabbing the lace Dillon had given her, she went into her bedroom, found her sewing supplies, and then took a dress out of her wardrobe.

  Her jaw dropped. It had been shortened and the bodice was ridiculously low. The sewing was atrocious. She could fix it, but what had Elda been thinking? She propped her foot up on a pillow and examined the hem. The stupid woman had cut it instead of hemming it. The lace was much needed after all.

  She threaded her needle and went to work. By the time she was done, the dress looked better than before. Normally she’d be overjoyed with her success, but she didn’t feel like anything other than a colossal failure. She didn’t plan to leave the family house once she finally got there. She laid her hand on her abdomen and frowned. There would be no babies for her. Dillon might go on with his life and remarry, but she wouldn’t. It wouldn’t be right.

  All her past behavior had come back to haunt her. She was being punished for being mean. She’d have to accept it for it was, God’s will. She’d made others unhappy, and it was all rushing back to her. There were always consequences but she never gave them much thought. Funny how she’d convinced herself this was her chance at happiness.

  Would Dillon make arrangements for her to leave or would he make her stay and still build his other house? It would be the worst thing imaginable to have him and his strumpet living next door. The town’s people probably wouldn’t be shocked. They all liked Dillon. Done with the dress, she tried to stand. Hot pain sliced through her ankle, making her cry out. She’d have to get used to it. She was on her own, at least for a while if Dillon would let her go.

  She hobbled to the window and realized that her view would be of his house. She hadn’t explored upstairs yet. At first, she hadn’t wanted to know how much more there was to clean, and then she’d hurt her leg. She’d move into Dillon’s room as soon as she had the energy.

  Settling herself back on the bed, she prayed and asked God to bring peace to her heart.

  * * *

  Dillon ran his fingers through his hair as he stared down at his wife. Her eyes we
re red and swollen and her face was blotchy. What was he supposed to do now? He had never planned to ask Angel to move in with him. Had Scarlett’s imagination run away with her? It didn’t seem like she’d be willing to listen to him, though. She wasn’t happy, and he couldn’t make her happy. He’d have to let her go. He couldn’t be the cause of her pain anymore. He refused to have a marriage full of fighting with spiteful words hurled about.

  He went into the kitchen and poured cold water into a basin then grabbed a few towels and some clean bandages. She’d probably made her ankle worse, and he should have checked her leg that morning. He sighed. As soon as she was well, she’d leave him. That realization hurt more than he could have ever imagined.

  He brought everything into the bedroom and set them down on the table next to her bed. She still slept. He lifted her skirt and took off her stocking. Just as he thought, her ankle was very swollen. In fact, it looked worse than the original injury.

  After wetting a towel, he wrapped it around her ankle. When he looked up he was met by her glare. At least she didn’t try to pull away.

  “You injured it again. I think it’s worse than it was before. I wasn’t very nice to you today and I’m sorry. You don’t deserve my ire. You told me the truth, which I’m sure was hard to do, and I ended up angry at you. I put you in an, impossible situation, and I apologize.”

  He took the towel off and examined her ankle again. You’ll need to stay off it completely. No wandering around Silver Falls with a walking stick. You could do permanent damage to yourself. You could end up lame.”

  She opened her mouth and then closed it. It looked as though she swallowed hard before she nodded. “It does hurt more than it did before.”

  “We’ll keep it elevated and wrapped with cool towels. I’m hoping we can get the swelling to go down. I have to look at your leg now.”

  A grimace twisted her expression, and then she nodded.

  He almost smiled when she gritted her teeth. He lifted her skirts up higher and gently put his hand on her thigh. She jumped but soon settled down, though her face turned bright red. It was nice to know she wasn’t totally immune to him. What it would mean in the long run, he didn’t know.

  He checked her stitches and caressed the skin around them. The surprise on her face pleased him. He could be patient and kind.

  He put her skirts to right and smiled at her. Then he climbed into bed with her, pulled her into his arms, and gently set her head on his shoulder. Her body was so stiff.

  “You can go to your own room,” she told him. “I think you being in here is causing my ankle to throb.”

  His lips twitched as he lay his cheek against the top of her head. There was a sense of rightness lying in bed with Scarlett in his arms. She smelled of roses and he promised himself he would plant some around the house. Perhaps that would make her happy. Her happiness was growing increasingly important to him. He wanted to laugh. She held herself straight as a fire poker.

  “I think we can talk and be comfortable right here.” He rubbed her arm. “First of all, there will not be another house.”

  “But I saw the plans!”

  Kissing her on the top of her head kept her from pulling away. “I did draw those. I was mad and I was hurt. I drew them when I left to live at the smithy.”

  “I know you can’t tolerate me very well.” The sadness in her voice made his heart squeeze.

  “I had hoped we’d get off to a better start. Most of the women in this town like me and my money. I’d hoped you’d like me for me, but the moment you insisted on servants, I knew you only liked my money. You certainly didn’t seem to like me. I built dreams around our marriage from the moment Smitty told me about you.” He sighed. “My parents were yellers who fought incessantly. There was never a moment of peace in the house, and I wanted us—you and me—to be different. But we started off with a huge fight, and I was willing to build my own separate house to gain the peace I craved.”

  “Did Angel have much input into the plans?” She stiffened and held her breath.

  “No, of course not. There is nothing between Angel and me. I’m married to you.”

  Slowly she let her breath out. “She knows more about your bare body than is seemly. Please, Dillon, don’t lie to me.”

  Having patience was harder than he’d thought it would be. “She’s never even seen me without a shirt on. I don’t know what game she’s playing.”

  “I do. She wants you, and she plans to have you. She told everyone she was going to live in the new house with you with the hope that I’d just leave town. It was then I realized I’d never have a child of my own. I couldn’t just pretend we were never married and start over with another man. I meant my vows when I said them and to me they are sacred.”

  His heart squeezed again. Had she not heard him when he’d said the very same thing to her?

  She sighed. “Besides Ma always has newborns at the house, and I thought they might act as a substitute. But my heart didn’t quite agree with my idea.” Her body relaxed against him. “Angel told these things to her friends. I don’t understand what she had to gain by telling them lies.”

  “I don’t either unless she wanted the gossip to get back to you. Those women aren’t known for keeping secrets. Honey, I want children too. With you. I want us to try to make our marriage work. We can’t rely on what others tell us.”

  “Perhaps, but I still want to go home. My heart hurts so much, and I don’t think I’ll ever be the same again. I swore when my parents died, before the Settlers adopted me, that I’d never love again. I’d never give anyone my heart because I knew the price of loss. I’ve given all that I have.”

  He shifted closer and stroked her back. She had so much more inside her. She was just afraid. Somehow, he’d have to reach her. “Do you find me pleasing to look at?”

  She pushed up against his chest until she stared at him. Her brows furrowed, unfurrowed and then furrowed again. Crimson crept into her face. She then laid her head against his chest. “I suppose you’re not unsightly.”

  A chuckle escaped. “I’m glad we have that cleared up. I find you to be beautiful, and when you’re happy, you make my heart smile.”

  “You’re just trying to be a charmer. I thought we were going to be honest.”

  “It’s true. Can’t you feel my heart beat faster?”

  She nodded.

  “That’s because you’re near. You make me feel excited.”

  She was quiet for a moment. “Do you mean that funny feeling you get in the pit of your stomach? I feel that too whenever I see you. It’s a strange feeling, and I have no idea why it only happens with you.”

  “Although I’m just a bit better than unsightly, you’re attracted to me in a way a women is attracted to a man she cares about.”

  “Ah, but what if you weren’t my husband?”

  “Then you ignore it and don’t act on it. I know plenty of marriages where the couple is unhappy. I’ve known plenty that make the best of it and then there is a marriage like ours where we want to be with each other.”

  She tried to roll away from him. “If being with each other is what I think it is, I don’t want any part of it. When traveling on a wagon train, I heard plenty. Men hit their wives and the cries of pain as they rutted will never leave me. I know it’s my duty, but I think I’ll pass.”

  He pulled her to him again trying to be as gentle as he could. “You plan to take a pass? Scarlett, there is so much passion bottled up inside you, I don’t think you’d be able to pass for long. I have complete confidence we’ll have those children we both want.”

  Her body became rigid again. “I don’t think so. My mind is made up.”

  “I’d never hit you, or hurt you. It can be pleasant.”

  She laughed. “You tell a good tale.”

  He gently rolled her onto her back and then hovered over her. He lowered his weight a bit at a time taking care not to hurt her. Her lips were so rosy red, and he couldn’t help but stare. He leaned
down until their lips met. Hers were as soft as he imagined, and as he deepened the kiss she wrapped her arms around his neck. Apparently, she wasn’t immune to his kisses.

  The little sounds she made encouraged him to deepen the kiss, and he moaned. If he didn’t stop soon, there would be no stopping. Regretfully, he eased his body off hers and shifted to lie at her side. Her expression of disappointment delighted him. They’d have those babies, he was sure of it now. He’d just have to use that patience God talked about.

  Chapter Nine

  The next morning, Scarlett woke to the smell of coffee. The indentation in the pillow next to her was deep. Had Dillon stayed the night in her bed? Heat rushed into her face, but she was delighted. Would they really be able to move past all the hurt and love each other? Sometimes she felt as though she was half in love with him, but every time she felt that way something always came up to show her he didn’t want her.

  Maybe she needed to buck up and not care what the gossips in town had to say. Wasn’t that what Dillon had told her last night? Perhaps it was time to believe in her husband. It was tempting, and the notion of it warmed her inside, yet she was still afraid. They were married for better or for worse and so far, until last night she’d seen mostly the worst.

  Dillon walked in with a cup of coffee. “Here you go. I’m glad I didn’t have to wake you.”

  She smiled and sat up. She took the steaming cup from him and smiled. “Where did you sleep last night?”

  “In heaven.” His eyes twinkled.

  “What?”

  “I slept with you in my arms, and it was heavenly. Did you know you have a slight snore?” He chuckled.

  “I do not!”

  “If you say so. It must have been that mangy cat.”

  She sipped her coffee and stole glances at him.