Shiver

by Nancy Lee Badger

  “At the beginning of the ordeal, I felt so alone as I ran up my mountain. But, a voice helped me, calmed me, and warned me of harm. ”

  “A voice?” he asked. His pulse began to race.

  “Yes, a woman’s voice. She brought me comfort.”

  “Who was she?” No way could Destiny answer his question because Jacob knew the woman who had haunted him. Destiny never met her.

  “Marcus supplied her identity. The voice belonged to Cindy Nelson.”

  He barely registered that she had reached out to him and now stood close, holding his hands. A chill swept through his body, and he sensed all color drain from his face before he could speak again.

  “My student? The young woman he murdered?”

  “Yes, Jacob. Marcus heard her, too. He cursed her and called her by name. Her interruption gave me the strength to fight him, until you arrived. I owe her a lot. I hope you don’t think less of me for believing in ghosts.”

  Inhaling a deep, cleansing breath, Jacob smiled. “Destiny, not only are you not crazy, but I’ve kept something from you as well.”

  “You have?”

  He smiled and pulled her into his embrace, but she pushed back in order to gaze at his face. He could not fathom her thoughts at this moment, but knew an explanation might relieve her distress. She grew still.

  “You heard her, too?”

  “No, Destiny, but I had a guardian angel, as well.”

  “Who?”

  “A ghostly voice urged me on. She kept me going and reminded me my destiny awaited. I thought she spoke of my future. She meant you.”

  “Did you recognize your ghost?”

  “Her name is not important. Let her rest in peace. I met her back in Boston, as a police officer. A former lover hurt her and she died in my arms. I couldn’t save her. The guilt has followed me for years, but she told me she forgives me. She told me this the night she helped me save you. I owe her everything.”

  He pulled her toward the master bathroom, which had been tiled and painted just last week. An elegant, oval, garden tub sat under a translucent arched window. The room boasted high ceilings, recessed lighting, large mirrors over double sinks, and a huge, tiled, shower with two showerheads. When they stopped by its frosted glass door, several stray golden curls fell over Destiny’s naked breasts.

  “No more secrets. I’m going to do what she told me to do. I’m going to love you and protect you forever.”

  She stared up at him, looking deep in thought, as she shimmied out of her cut-offs and panties. Jacob couldn’t breathe. As the room spun, he wondered if seeing her in all her naked glory would always make his heart skip a beat, and his groin tighten.

  The silence ended when she cranked open the faucets.

  He pulled off his shirt and let it drop to the tile floor. Unhooking his belt, he shivered when she returned to him, and swept her fingers across his abdomen. He sucked in his gut while she stroked his skin, then helped push his jeans down to his feet. He kicked off his shoes, then the jeans, and his shorts followed.

  A soft moan escaped her pouty lips, as she stared at his groin. He hardened instantly, though the sight of her nakedness moments earlier had given him a head start. He followed her roving gaze.

  “I’m hungry.”

  “Well. Josie brought a casserole, so…”

  Shaking her head, she knelt on the recently tossed away jeans, and planted a breathy kiss on the tip of his cock.

  “I’ve died and gone to heaven.”

  She didn’t comment, because she’d swallowed him whole. The heat and silky wetness inside her mouth, as she enveloped his length, made him throb and pulse against her tongue. One hand gripped the base, stroking up and down, while the other cupped his balls. His knees weakened. Why had she stopped?

  “You aren’t going to collapse on me, are you?”

  “Oh, ah, no. Not until we get that bed uncovered.”

  “Then hold on tight.” Before he could ask what she meant, she swallowed him whole, again. His hands moved without thought, curling his fingers in her wavy golden hair. Closing his eyes, he let his head drop back, and he succumbed to the pleasure. When the tremors of release grew imminent, he released his fingers, and gently pulled away.

  “Jacob?”

  “Let’s relive other memories, okay?”

  Destiny glanced from the shower to him, then gave him a big smile filled with love.

  Bonus! Free Holiday story!

  Unwrapping Chris

  A Contemporary

  Military Romance

  by Nancy Lee Badger

  Copyright © July 2013 by Nancy Lee Badger

  All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by an information storage and retrieval system-except by a reviewer who may quote brief passages in a review to be printed in a magazine, newspaper, or on the Web without permission in writing from the publisher. All characters in this book have no existence outside the imagination of the author and have no relation whatsoever to anyone bearing the same name or names. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously.

  Cover Copyright © 2013 http://nancyleebadger.com

  Originally released © 2010

  By Whispers Publishing

  THE STORY

  Army widow Jayne Rockwell searches for a secure future for her and her two daughters. Staff Sergeant Christopher Hawkins regrets leaving young Jayne eight years ago to go off to war. A crash encounter a week before Christmas thrusts these two lonely people back into each other's lives once more. Jayne must learn to trust a man who disappeared with her heart.

  Chris must overcome the guilt of taking her innocence, and then leaving her heartbroken and alone. A Christmas wedding brings them closer when Jayne spies him as a groomsman in Highland dress, complete with kilt. He cannot keep his eyes off the woman in green velvet wearing a wedding ring. Accusations, explanations, and remorse leads to a love that erupts among candlelight, Christmas carols, and a dark room. Who needs mistletoe?

  CHAPTER 1

  Jayne sipped her coffee and grimaced while her sister, Marti, laughed. Jayne ought to apologize, but the burnt coffee smell—accompanied by the charred scent of over-baked gingerbread cookies—was horrid enough to make anyone’s taste buds forget that Christmas was right around the corner. Marti couldn’t boil water, let alone brew a decent cup of coffee.

  I should talk.

  Since Johnny’s death, Jayne barely cooked. Her kids ate well, but she rarely found the strength to visit the supermarket or cook a wholesome dinner. A deep weariness had replaced the bouts of depression that tainted her bereavement.

  Not much of an improvement, she thought. “Sorry. I appreciate the effort.”

  “Just wanted to impress you with my newfound culinary skills.” Marti smiled at her joke. She ran long fingers through her short, dark red hair. Her digital camouflage ACU did little to enhance her skin tone, or her figure. The bulging pockets of her trousers and the washed-out green-gray of the weather resistant fabric detracted from Marti’s pale skin. Only the tiny freckles that peppered her petite nose heralded their Scottish ancestry.

  “Don’t worry, sis,” she went on. “Our local commissary has everything we need for a great holiday dinner.”

  They both laughed.

  Marti pulled open a cupboard door and grabbed a large jar filled with a candle. After she lit it, she placed it between them on the table. The scent of pumpkins and cinnamon wafted up, obliterating the evidence of her attempt to cook.

  “Jayne, I’m glad you came for the holiday. We’ll have fun at my good friend’s wedding on Christmas Eve.”

  “God. Christmas will be here before we know it.”

  “Your nephew and I feel more alone during this holiday than any other time of year. Can’t I talk you into moving in? Permanently?”

  “I do miss living on a
n army base, but Johnny’s gone and—”

  “Sorry. I forgot. However, things change, sis. You finally graduated nursing school. No more nights and weekends filled with homework and studying. Maybe you’ll meet another great guy. Think about it?”

  Jayne sighed. She’d love to get back into army life. When her less-than-stellar marriage faltered after the birth of their second daughter, she and Johnny received a needed break when he deployed overseas. The kids missed their dad, but thrived under her care. The stress-free home life was like a breath of fresh air. With no one breathing down her neck to get dinner on the table, ordering her to run errands, or treating her like a thorn in his side, things had started to look up.

  Then her world imploded the morning two officers knocked on her door. Since losing Johnny, she and the girls had lived through two years of hell; leaving the base, finding a new home, hiring sitters, and completing her degree in nursing. Worse, the man she truly loved remained a distant memory. A memory she had never found a way to shake.

  * * *

  Staff Sergeant Christopher Hawkins marched alongside his platoon. Along with two other drill sergeants, their AIT soldiers finished lunch in record time. This group had survived basic combat training and now neared the end of their advanced individual training. Chris looked forward to filling their heads with intense survival instruction before sending them off into the world with their new skills.

  Glancing up, clear blue sky filled his vision. Diesel exhaust mixed with pine scent from the North Carolina forest surrounding the army base. He swore he smelled the tang of the sea, though it was over one hundred miles to the east.

  Several of the men chuckled as they marched. The frigid weather under clear skies had put everyone in a good mood. Too good. Perhaps a ten-mile hike would give them all a good night’s sleep.

  Nowadays, sleep came hard to Chris. Nightmares filled with gunfire and blood had gotten to be a habit. He’d awaken covered in sweat with a curse on his lips. This proved tiresome. With Afghanistan a recent memory, he woke today determined to enjoy a march on paved roads under an American sky. No guns, no blood, no bodies laying dead and dismembered in the sand.

  “Wake up, fool. You’re safe,” he mumbled.

  “What’s that, Sarge?” his second-in-command asked.

  “Nothing. Just thinking out loud. Quiet today. No traffic.”

  “Why drive when you can march? The sun is real bright.” Chris’s sergeant closed his eyes, leaned his head back, and smiled. “I could get used to this.”

  “Open those eyes. You’re on traffic detail. Can’t have my boys run down.”

  “Yes, Sarge.” Tipping his cap, he swung his M-16A2 rifle off his shoulder, and trotted into the next road. The platoon marched in place until waved by. Several clapped their hands together for warmth as their hazy breaths danced in the chilly breeze. Noses, on several of the men, had grown rosy from the cold.

  Chris sighed. Training soldiers on a secure army base was easy and safe.

  And boring.

  If I had bothered to get me a wife and a couple of kids, I’d have something to look forward to each day, he thought as he caught up, and then trotted to the front of the platoon. An image sprang up, clear as day.

  Jayne.

  He inhaled a deep breath and savored the crisp chill. God, it’s so different than the rocky hills half a world away. He shook the memory away. Far away. Not the steamy days and brutally cold nights he’d spent in Afghanistan. No, it’s the memory of her.

  Eight years had passed since he’d tasted her lips and caressed her soft skin. Daily, he kicked himself for dumping her the night he had left for basic. Too much time had passed. Too late for regrets. Too late to realize he’d swept aside the only woman he had ever loved.

  CHAPTER 2

  “I miss living on base, Marti,” Jayne said. She shivered at the thought of surrounding herself with men exactly like Johnny; of all those rugged guys in uniform…“I have my degree, though I haven’t found a job. My apartment lease is almost up. It would make sense to move close to you, especially with you heading overseas.” She bit her lower lip as she poured herself a cup of ginger tea.

  “I look forward to deployment. My son is less than thrilled.”

  “You’ve dealt with single-parenthood since his birth. I never knew how hard—”

  “It doesn’t have to be. Move in here or find a guy. Do what makes you happy.”

  “Find a guy? They don’t grow on trees, you know.”

  “We are on an army base with men as far as the eye can see.”

  “Right. You want me to walk up to a soldier and say ‘Hi. I’m Jayne, a widow with two kids. Want to party?’ No way.”

  “Our hospital is hiring.”

  Jayne cocked her head and stared at her sister. Thoughts spread through her mind in a kaleidoscope of colors and shapes. “Could I start over? Maybe find a guy like Christopher?”

  Dead silence.

  “You mean Johnny.”

  What had she said? On no! She hadn’t meant to speak aloud, especially when she had no idea what made her think of Christopher Hawkins.

  “Slip of the tongue. I heard his name bantered about. Somewhere. An article in The Stars and Stripes, I think.”

  “Right.” Marti gave her a steely-eyed glare, then turned toward the newspaper lying on the kitchen table. “Here’s the ad.”

  Jayne accepted the offered paper and trained her gaze down, anything to keep from allowing her sister any clue to how much she regretted losing Chris.

  “Anything there? I can’t believe you had the guts to finish your degree.”

  “Yes. I nearly went broke with babysitters. Johnny’s insurance money is earmarked for the girls’ college expenses. Mom helped a little, but—”

  “Yeah. I know. She’s a busy woman. Can’t picture her with a sloppy little kid on her knee.”

  Jayne forced a smile. “How about I check out the hospital? Can you watch the girls?”

  Marti nodded.

  Jayne chugged the rest of her cooled ginger tea and slipped the mug inside her sister’s dishwasher. She donned her new pink parka and slid the zipper up to her neck. Growing up in Louisiana then living on an army base in southern Georgia, she was not acclimated to the cooler temperatures of North Carolina in late December.

  She trotted to her old sedan and settled on the cool vinyl driver’s seat. She coaxed the heater on as soon as the engine sputtered to life and drove off toward the base hospital, while she daydreamed of a lanky boy with red hair, green eyes, and sure hands. He’d made love to her—her very first time—then tossed their love in the dirt.

  I loved him, even if he didn’t reciprocate.

  The memory of that one night of pain, mixed with exquisite pleasure, rose whenever Johnny found the time to join her in bed. Christopher’s was the face that filled her thoughts. Christopher’s fingers were the ones that guided his erection inside her. But, with Johnny she remained unsatisfied many a night.

  Her fault, most likely. He’d given her the girls, of course. They kept her on her toes and too tired to give Johnny the attention he deserved. The girls were the biggest joy she’d found in her marriage. Here she was visiting her sister in order to accompany her to her friend’s wedding. A Christmas wedding. Why torture myself? Because, Marti asked me.

  “How romantic,” she’d told Marti when they talked the day Marti called to tell her the invitation had arrived.

  “Why anyone would want to marry in the middle of winter is beyond me. But, you can stay with me, and I have a friend who can watch the kids.”

  “You’re sure?”

  “Yes. Listen. My deployment is imminent. I want to spend the most time I can with my only sister before—”

  “Don’t say it. We’ll deal with it when the day comes.”

  “Right.”

  The memory faded as Jayne idled at a stop sign and fiddled with the defogger. The windows had clouded from her hot breath. She rubbed one gloved hand over the inside of th
e windshield, the leather squeaking across the glass. The steamy windows reminded her of a long ago Christmas Eve when Chris kissed her, then drove to a dark spot along the bayou. His kisses had deepened until their clothes had ended up scattered around the pickup’s interior.

  Jayne shivered from the image, not the coolness of her car’s interior. Chris had tasted of beer and something sweeter.

  “Hot chocolate,” she mumbled. She’d followed him from her mother’s party, where dozens of people celebrated the holiday with Christmas treats and hot beverages. The boy loved his sweets. He wasn’t a boy at the time. Not really. Eighteen to her sixteen, Jayne had thought the sun rose and set in his eyes. His hands worked their magic and, too soon, they’d been locked in an embrace. His fingers dove inside and made her squirm. First from the shock of unknown sensations, and then with a hot desire for something.

  Something more.

  “Please,” she’d said. And Chris had answered by changing her life forever.

  A honk pulled Jayne from her reverie. She swung the car to the left. Several trees blocked the sun, and she shivered again. She knew the way to the tall building that housed the military hospital near the base’s entrance gate. A wide picnic area drew her attention. Bundled up kids ran and played in the chilly sunshine.

  Her girls deserved better than a tiny apartment. Her sister’s base looked homey and safe. Eyes back on the road, she squinted. The intense light from a low hanging sun in the west suddenly blinded her as she thought about how the army always provides. If only…

  * * *

  Chris’s sergeant with the gun, lingering behind him, yelled, “Sarge!”

  Momentarily unable to process the warning, Chris heard the squeal of a fan belt close by. He snapped his head around. A small sedan approached. When the driver didn’t slow down as the car neared his men, who were about to cross the road, he spun around. Pushing a row of soldiers to safety, Chris’s hip slammed into something that absorbed his weight as it crunched. Propelled back, he rolled end-over-end and landed in the grass several yards from his shocked platoon.