Tellable Cracker Tales

by Annette J. Bruce

  Telling time: 8-9 minutes

  Audience: kindergarten - 4th grade

  For the teller who can do character voices well this story is a “keeper.” It is short, full of action, and if told well will delight children of any age.

  Sam’s lislle

  It was during the second Spanish occupation that Señor Pedro de Ovando arrived in La Florida. He brought with him his comely wife and his beautiful daughter Carmelita. Both the señora and the señorita were so personable that to know them was to love them, but Señor Pedro was pompous, arrogant, overbearing, and could hardly be tolerated. But as the saying goes, we should give even the devil his dues so I must tell you that Señor Pedro was a faithful husband and a concerned father.

  When Señorita Carmelita became ill, Señor Pedro summoned the local doctor. When he failed to diagnose the illness, Señor Pedro sent to Cuba and Mexico for medical help. Still she grew thinner, and the blush faded from her cheeks. Señor Pedro, then, risked invoking the wrath of the Council of the Indies and the King of Spain by seeking help in the United States. But it was an old Indian who diagnosed her illness and said that mangoes would cure her.

  Señorita Carmelita did not like the mangoes in San Augustin and would not eat them — complaining that they were hard, stringy, and tasted like turpentine. Señor Pedro sent out a proclamation that whoever brought edible mangoes to the señorita would be richly rewarded.

  Near San Augustin lived a miller who had, in addition to his mill, three sons, two fine horses, and a donkey. The youngest son, Mark, was the darling of his father’s eye. He was so handsome that it was a foregone conclusion that he would marry well. He was never taught a trade or expected to do his share of the work at the mill. He was only encouraged to enhance and preserve his appearance.

  John, the second son, was so witty that his father was sure he could demand a good dowry from his wife so he was allowed to spend his time reading and sharpening his wit.

  Samuel, the oldest brother, operated the mill, which he was to inherit. Of course, from its profits he was to pay half of its worth to Mark, and half of its worth to John. Yet every day, his father would say, “Sam, operate the mill with care, for it will be yours some day.”

  Near the mill grew a large mango tree that bore the most delectable mangoes — sweet, fleshy, and flavorful.

  When the miller heard of the nobleman’s plea, he said to Mark, “Son, get spiffed up in your new suit, while I saddle up the white steed and fill this fine split-oak basket with our best mangoes for you to take to San Augustin. Hurry along, for no doubt this is your chance to improve your station in life by marrying the beautiful señorita.”

  Mark was on his way to San Augustin when he met an old hag carrying a crying child. The woman’s hair was matted, and her eyes were squinted. She was snaggle-toothed and as wrinkled as a dried prune. The child, which she had slung on her hip, was dirty, and flies were swarming about her face. Mark didn’t want to look at them, but they were in his path.

  “Young man,” cried the old woman, “where are ye goin’?”

  “Get out of my way, old woman, and don’t bother me with your questions, for it’s none of your business where I’m going.”

  “I see ye don’t act as good as ye look. What’s that ye got in that basket?”

  “Oyster shells,” answered Mark. He smirked, and said to himself, not even my witty brother could have come up with a better answer than that.

  “Then let it be oyster shells,” cried the old woman.

  Mark rode on. He arrived in San Augustin, and there he presented his gift to Señor Pedro, who was impressed by Mark’s appearance, but when he opened the basket he found it full of old dirty oyster shells. Señor Pedro was furious, and had Mark thrown into the dungeon at the Castillo de San Marcos.

  When Mark did not return, the miller told his second son, “John, somehow your brother Mark has not succeeded, but you, with your sharp wit, may well overcome where he failed, so fill the other basket with fruit, and take the dapple mare, and go to San Augustin.”

  John soon met the same old woman carrying the crying child.

  “Good day to ye! Where ye be agoin’?” the old woman asked.

  “Old woman, your curiosity is making a fool of you, for it’s none of your business where I’m going,” replied John.

  “Oh, a smart aleck, huh? What ye got in that basket?”

  “Coquina rocks,” replied John.

  “Then rocks let it be,” said the old woman.

  When John arrived at the San Augustin mansion, he bowed low, and with a sweep of his hat said, “For the health of God’s gift to man,” and handed the nobleman the basket.

  Señor Pedro accepted it with as much pomp as it was offered, but when he opened it, and found rocks, he went into a rage and had John thrown into the dungeon with his brother.

  When neither of the boys returned, the miller lost his zest for living. He left all the work for Sam to do. His appetite failed, and he grew feeble. One day, he was surprised to see Sam gathering a sack of the blushing mangoes.

  “What are you doing?” he asked.

  “Picking some mangoes for the ill señorita,” Sam replied.

  “No, you mustn’t go. You can never succeed if both Mark and John have failed. I can neither spare you nor afford to lose the donkey.”

  “Pa, I’ve been doing Mark and John’s work for years, and as for the donkey, keep it! I’ll walk.”

  Sam threw the sack of mangoes over his shoulder and started out. He walked until he was hot and tired. When he stopped to rest, he saw the old woman carrying the dirty, crying child.

  “Good day to ye, and where might ye be agoin’?” she asked.

  “Good day to you, fellow traveler. I’m going to San Augustin, and to where are you traveling?” answered Sam with a smile.

  “I’m on my way. What is that ye have in your poke?”

  “The best mangoes in the world, which I hope will heal the Señorita Carmelita.” Then he reached into the bag and brought out one of the delicious smelling mangoes and handed it to the child. “Here, maybe this one will make you feel better.”

  The child stopped crying and smiled. The old woman said, “Bless you, my son. Let the mangoes be healing fruit, and for the one you gave to this child, ask what you will, and it will be given to you.”

  Sam’s feet and back hurt so he said, “I’d like to have a whistle that would call to me any animal that I wanted.”

  The old woman reached deep in her pocket and brought out a silver whistle on a royal blue cord, and said, “Here you are.” Then, she and the child disappeared like a wisp of morning fog.

  Sam put the whistle to his lips and blew, and up trotted a fine pony. Sam made a halter from the top part of the burlap sack, and reins from wild vines growing close by.

  When Sam arrived in San Augustin, Señor Pedro was unfavorably impressed with Sam, but delighted with the appearance and the aroma of the fruit. Señorita Carmelita ate one of the mangoes, then she ate another, and another, and would have eaten more if her duenna had not stopped her. In a few days the color came back to her cheeks, and she laughed again.

  Señor Pedro was ecstatic. He called Sam and asked him what he wanted as a reward. Sam told him he wanted his two brothers. When they were set free, Sam sent them home to run the mill.

  Then, he put his silver whistle to his lips, and called up a big, green, slimy, scaly, ug-g-gly alligator, which he brought before Señor Pedro. “Sir,” he said, “put your mark on this wild beast and set him free, and a year from today, I will return and call him back as a hallmark of honesty between two honorable gentlemen.”

  Señor Pedro, still in a most appreciative mood for his daughter’s health, laughed and said, “There is no way that you can call this wild alligator back once you have set him free, but as you have requested, I will mark him, and in a year, if you can call him back, you may have the señorita to wed.”

  Samuel traveled about for a full year, using his whistle to help
people who were in need.

  As the appointed day approached, Señor Pedro became apprehensive. Just supposing that peasant should return and somehow capture that alligator. No, no, he didn’t want to think of such a thing. It would be too humiliating to have his beautiful daughter marry that peasant. On the appointed day he arose early and walked out on his balcony. He looked down Market Street, rubbed his eyes, and looked again. Then, he rubbed his eyes again, for he could not believe what he was seeing. But there, at this early hour, was Sam, with the alligator walking beside him. Señor Pedro could distinguish his mark from where he stood.

  He called to the treasurer, “Quick, go down there and pay whatever you have to to get that alligator from that man and drive it back into the river.”

  The treasurer paid Sam one hundred pesos for the alligator, but as soon as he goaded it into the Matanzas River, Sam whistled it back. When Señor Pedro saw what happened, he sent the accountant to get the alligator. Sam charged him two hundred pesos. Even though the accountant drove the alligator much further up the river, Sam whistled it back.

  The nobleman was now so agitated, he overlooked propriety, and sent his daughter Carmelita to wheedle the alligator from the peasant.

  Carmelita talked with Sam and found him to be a pleasant fellow. He was strong and kind, and not the least bit pretentious. But even she was unable to get the alligator from him.

  “If your father wants this alligator, he must deal with me directly. Tell him I will be waiting for him back of the pomegranate tree in his garden.”

  When the señor went to the garden, Sam said, “Señor, you may have the alligator for nothing if you will only kiss it.”

  The Señor was furious — kiss that loathsome creature? Never! But what else could he do? He looked around to see if anyone else would see him, and when he felt sure no one else would ever know, he kissed that big, green, scaly, slimy, ug-g-gly gator, right where Sam pointed.

  Sam then followed the nobleman back inside, and asked, “You will keep your promise? Yes? I marry the Señorita Carmelita?”

  What an abominable thought! But how was he going to escape his promise? His displeasure registered on his face, and a member of the junta whispered in his ear, “Tell him to take a sack and travel around the world, and fill it with truth.”

  The señor told Sam, this he would have to do in order to marry the señorita.

  “Good!” said Sam. “Give me the sack.” He was given a large sack, and Sam spread the mouth of it, as a miller could, then he said, “There is no need to travel to find truth. There is plenty right here to fill the sack. Señor Pedro, is it not true that I brought you a bag of the best mangoes you’ve ever tasted?”

  “It is.”

  “Truth go into the sack!” And he made a motion as if he were throwing an item into the sack. “Is it not true that this fruit delighted Señorita Carmelita?”

  “It is.”

  “Truth go into the sack! And is it not true that these mangoes restored the señorita’s health?”

  “It is.”

  “Truth go into the sack. And is it not true that I asked you to mark an alligator as a sign of honesty between two men of honor?”

  “It is.”

  “Truth go into the sack. Is it not true that you put your mark on it, and freed it?”

  “It is.”

  “Truth go into the sack. And Señor, is it not true that you promised that I could marry the Señorita Carmelita after a year if I called back the alligator?”

  “Well, yes.”

  “Truth go into the sack. And Señor, is it not true that to get the alligator from me you …”

  “Stop!” said Señor Pedro. “The sack is full of truth.”

  “And I marry the señorita?”

  “Yes.”

  It was a garden wedding. The ceremony was performed under the pomegranate tree. Carmelita carried mango blossoms, and Samuel wore the silver whistle around his neck.

  Telling time: 25-26 minutes

  Audience: 4th grade - adult

  This version of an old folktale has a Hispanic flavor and will be greatly enhanced if the teller is familiar with the Spanish language and culture. The dramatic teller can prove his mettle with the courtroom scene.

  Introduction

  Historical Stories

  In history books, Florida is often upstaged by her sister states. Yet in no other state can one find more romance and adventure than can be found on the Florida frontier with its long history as a cow country, its 8,462 miles of tidal coast, its 30,000-plus lakes, and its unique Everglades.

  Florida’s most celebrated folk hero was Morgan Bonapart Mizell, known to his peers as “Bone.” Bone was a cowboy, or cow hunter as they were more often referred to in Florida. He was a celebrated legend in his time, and the center of attention wherever he went.

  Jacob Summerlin, the first white child born in Florida after Spain ceded the territory to the United States, was a picturesque cow hunter. The stories of his life will warm the heart and give a chuckle.

  Little is known about Orlando Reeves except that he died in the line of duty during the Seminole Wars. His grave was marked with a primitive marker for many years, but now the location of it is not certain.

  James Mitchell Johnson was a giant of a man in his day, and accomplished astounding feats, as did the four female giants.

  Although the stories in this section are about real people, and are laced with historical facts, they are not intended to supplant the uninteresting history books which gather dust on library shelves. These stories are designed for telling to entertain and educate — with the emphasis on entertainment.

  Do Tell!

  The Barefoot Mailman

  James Mitchell Johnson had a good understanding. He wore a size sixteen shoe, and even with that much turned under for feet, he still stood six feet, seven inches tall. Because of the size of his feet, and the great length of his stride, he was known as “Acre-Foot.”

  Acre-Foot was born near Lake City in 1847. He grew up during a time when the entire country was wallowing in an extreme depression. Florida was especially hard hit because of the Seminole Wars being fought here. Acre-Foot could and would do the work of two men. Even so, he found it difficult to find a job. When he was twenty-one, he heard that the Army planned to string a telegraph line between the forts located along Peace River. Acre-Foot packed up and moved to Fort Ogden hoping to find work.

  The clearing which was made while stringing the telegraph wire was known as “wire-road.” Even with this clearing, it was almost impossible to get a horse through the Everglades south of Fort Ogden. Official communications could be sent over the wire, but the regular mail needed to be delivered.

  Acre-Foot was thirty years old when an agent from the Post Office department came to Fort Mead to hire a mail-carrier for the route between Fort Mead and Fort Myers. Several applicants were already there when Acre-Foot arrived at the quartermaster’s store. Among them was “Big-Ed” Donaldson, an Army veteran with a loud mouth and a reputation for being a fighter.

  “I’ll take the mail down and bring it back once a week,” Big-Ed said in a booming voice. “And I’ll guarantee that no matter whut — gators, rattlesnakes, moccasins, hurricanes, or robbers — it’ll go through.”

  The agent squared his shoulders and smiled. “That’s the spirit which has built the postal service into what it is today.”

  Acre-Foot stood nearby, but said nothing. When the agent told Big-Ed to sign on the bottom line, Acre-Foot spoke up: “Hold on there just a minute. If ol’ Ed can make that trip with a load of mail once a week, I’ll go so far as to wager I can make it at least twice a week — maybe three times.”

  Big-Ed’s face flushed with anger, and he roared, “Whut makes you think yore a better man than me?”

  Acre-Foot smoothed his mustache. “I ain’t a-sayin’ I’m a better man, but I am sayin’ I’m a better walker, and for shore, the best man for the job.”

  The two almost came to blows b
efore the agent stopped them. “Come, let’s settle this like gentlemen. The man who can walk the fastest will get the job.”

  Monday morning, the two men stood just inside the gate at the fort. They listened as the postal agent stated that the man who made the most trips to Fort Myers and back that week would be awarded the contract. The agent then fired the starting pistol, and both men moved off.

  Quickly Acre-Foot moved out of sight. He reached Fort Myers just at dusk the same day, and found everyone at the fort busy.

  “What’s going on?” Acre-Foot asked the soldier at the gate.

  “Can it be you don’t know?”The sentry asked. “Why, we’ve done got ourselves a new mail service ’twixt here and Fort Mead, and we’re going to hold a big shindig for the carrier when he gets here. Actually, there’s two of ’em this trip — some kind of a race. They may get here tomorrow, but more’n likely it’ll be the next day.”

  “Is that right?” said Acre-Foot. “Where’s the post office from here?”

  When Acre-Foot gave the mail pouch to the postmaster, the fireworks started. The soldiers and settlers around the fort began a celebration, and Acre-Foot showed his appreciation by taking part. He called every square dance except two, and filled in for the fiddler for those.

  Early the next morning, Acre-Foot picked up his mail pouch and started out along the wire-road back to Fort Mead. He stopped for a drink of water at Arcadia crossroads. There he saw Big-Ed.

  “Well, looks like I’ve done caught up with you,” Big-Ed said, grinning.

  “Yep, sure looks like you have,” Acre-Foot drawled. “‘Cept I’m goin’ t’other way.”

  Acre-Foot Johnson got the contract. He liked the work, but the job only paid twenty-six dollars per month. That would not keep him in shoes, so he walked the treacherous trail six days each week, barefoot.

  With such a demanding job, how Acre-Foot found the energy and time to do any romancing is a mystery. But true to his nature, Acre-Foot accomplished the seemingly impossible. He got married, but then he was confronted by another obstacle — how two people could live off his meager earnings. One day, he came up with an idea to make more money. He decided to begin the first passenger service from Bartow to Fort Myers. He built himself an armchair and fitted it with shoulder straps. Just as he was finishing the contraption, a neighbor happened by.