Crave

by Teresa Mummert

  “I’m not Viviana,” I replied defensively as I folded my arms across my chest, hugging myself as if trying to hold onto my sanity.

  “No. You’re not. You are Eva, but your soul is the one I was meant to be with. You’ve lived countless lives and I was forced to suffer through this one for eternity... waiting.”

  I reached up to his face, running my fingers along his stubbled jaw.

  “I know you’ve felt it too, Eva. It’s like we’ve always known each other. It’s why you were comfortable with me from the first day we spoke. And now I finally have you, and I’m the one who is going to die.”

  “I won’t let them hurt you,” my voice quivered.

  The corner of his mouth quirked up into a sad smile as he brushed my hair from my face, tucking it behind my ear. “Maybe this way I get to come back.” There was hope in his eyes. “Will you wait for me in your next life?” he asked and a sob broke free from my chest because I knew he had given up and was just trying to comfort me.

  “Forever,” I whispered.

  He nodded, fighting back his own tears. “I’m sorry I couldn’t save you but I’m not sorry that you didn’t become like me.” I could tell he had waited his entire vampire life to say those words. He thought he’d failed Viviana, he thought he’d failed me.

  “Don’t be. Maybe it was meant to be this way.”

  He looked pained by my words but he was right. There was something different about me. I wasn’t ordinary. That place I slipped to inside of my mind wasn’t just my imagination and it wasn’t Olivie controlling it. My eyes danced over the blades of grass that lay scattered on the floor.

  “Maybe I can save you.”

  “Eva, I won’t let you get yourself killed for me.”

  “It was me all along,” I repeated his words back to him that pulled me from my dreamlike state that had put me in the forest with Grayson.

  “Yes, it was you that I loved,” he confessed, looking confused but I could feel his anxiety. He wasn’t being honest.

  “No… That isn’t what you meant. That’s not why you said it. Something else you’d tried back then had worked, hadn’t it? Something Moses doesn’t know about. I can… I can do something.” I was so excited my words all ran together just as jumbled as my thoughts. I flung my arms around Elijah, pulling his body against mine. His arms looped around my waist and he hugged me so tightly it felt like my bones were going to snap under the intense pressure.

  I squeezed my eyes closed, willing my mind to slip elsewhere but when I opened them again, we still stood inside of the nearly destroyed club.

  “I don’t understand.”

  “I know this doesn’t make sense to you but-” Elijah began but I cut him off.

  “Why isn’t it working?”

  His brow furrowed and he looked pained. “Because you have to be close to death, Eva.” He shook his head, losing his last glimmer of hope.

  “Do you believe the Elders?”

  “What?” he asked, looking at me as if I’d lost my mind.

  “Do you believe that my blood can give someone else a chance to come back?”

  “Why are you asking me this, Eva?”

  “Feed from me.”

  “Eva, I am too hungry. It is taking everything I have in me not to bite you right now. If I get another taste of your blood, I could kill you.”

  “You won’t. I won’t let that happen. Just… just trust me,” I begged.

  “I won’t risk your life for mine.”

  “I only have this life because of you. You don’t have a choice. When the Elders come, it’s all over for us. It’s all over for the entire world,” I threatened. “This is our only chance to be together.”

  He eyed me intently before his fangs protruded and he slowly leaned down, pressing their points against the flesh of my neck. “I love you, Eva. I always have and I always will,” he confessed, his lips moving against my skin.

  “I love you, Elijah,” I whispered as his teeth sank into my throat.

  I watched his wound heal before my eyes leaving behind nothing but his torn shirt and drying blood. My body grew weak in his arms as he grew stronger and his appetite intensified. I had no idea if any of this would work or how much of my blood he would need to ingest, but I wasn’t going to take any chances.

  Every time I’d been able to disappear into my own mind, it had been on the verge of losing my own life. I just had to hold on a little longer.

  My knees began to buckle and Elijah held me firmly against him as if I was weightless. My vision blurred and my head lulled as I struggle to keep consciousness.

  But that was where I was wrong. I needed to let go. I needed to take the leap of faith. My eyes fluttered closed and I felt myself being pulled into a sleep-like state, trapped in limbo. Flickers of past and present morphed into a final collage of my life. I saw people I’d loved and lost, people who wanting nothing more than for me to be happy. But I never was because it had always felt like something was missing. That’s when I saw Elijah and I felt whole again.

  I reached into my memory and turned around on the edge of the hotel ledge. There he stood, cloaked in shadows.

  Our eyes met and I felt the butterflies take flight in my stomach as he smiled. I smiled. As he took a step toward me, I felt the warmth of the sun as it began to rise over the buildings.

  “Eva, what are you doing?” His panic wafted through the air like the scent of a freshly baked pie on a window sill.

  “It’s okay,” I assured him as he continued closer. “Remember in the hospital when I said your skin had felt warm?” I asked and he nodded as he stopped in front of me.

  “I felt it. All of it,” he confessed and my smile broadened.

  “What if it was me that needed to save you for us to be together, not the other way around?” I asked as he slipped his hand in mine and stepped up on the ledge. We both turned to face the rising sun, his hand gripping mine tightly as we watched it break free from above the other buildings.

  “Don’t be scared,” I whispered as my eyes locked onto his. He did not look away as the warmth enveloped us. He winced and I could tell he was in pain but when he saw my concern… he smiled.

  His other hand went to his chest, his eyes widening before he let out a loud laugh. “Eva,” he sighed, taking my hand and placing it over his heart.

  I felt the steady thumping against my fingers for a moment before looking up at him, unable to contain my own joyful laugh. “Your heart is beating.”

  “Only for you,” he whispered, pressing his lips to my forehead. I let my eyes close, relishing in this brief moment that we were able to stand hand and hand, both human and both infatuated.

  “We can’t go back.”

  He pulled back to let his eyes roam over my face, memorizing it before replying. “I know.”

  “Do you think we will remember any of this?” I asked as I looked out over the grassy meadow below us that was surrounded by large trees and the creek he’d taken me to the first night we’d met. I inhaled deeply, breathing in the smell of the honeysuckle from my memory.

  “Even if we don’t, our souls are connected. We will find each other,” he reassured me.

  I nodded, unable to hide my fear but excited for the unknown. The chance for us to have a life together. It was scary not knowing what that future would hold but I hoped that by that time, vampires would be eradicated.

  I turned to Elijah, rising up to my toes to press my mouth against his. He looped his arms around my waist, lifting me off the ground, his mouth on mine, and together we fell.

  We fell in love.

  We fell for love.

  We died for each other again.

  EPILOGUE

  Déjà vu

  My body ached as I spun, bowing my back and struggling to keep my face relaxed. Don’t show the pain. It won’t last much longer. I hit the ground hard, my elbow taking the brunt of the impact as I slid across the cold surface.

  “You’ll get it, Ava. Let’s try the Axel jum
p next,” My coach, Victor, called from the side of the rink. I nodded, exhaling as I shook my cold hands in hopes of making the numbing subside.

  “Can I take five?” I asked and slid to the door. He nodded, giving me my blade guards and I slid them onto the bottom of my skates before heading to the locker room.

  The woman’s locker room only had three stalls and all were occupied with a line of four more girls waiting to use the facilities.

  “Great,” I grumbled as I headed back out to the rink, stopping at the men’s locker room door. I glanced at Victor, who was sipping a fresh cup of coffee, the steam rolling up to his face as he ran his hand through his graying hair, unconcerned with where I was.

  I shoved against the men’s door and slipped inside. The hockey team wouldn’t be in until later and there was only one other male skater on the ice today, practicing a pairs routine with his partner.

  I hurried over to the stall and closed the door behind me, struggling to get my pink leotard down my body before I exploded.

  The door to the locker room creaked open on its hinges before slamming shut.

  “Damn it,” I grumbled to myself knowing Victor was never going to let this one down. “I couldn’t hold it,” I called out. There was no reply. “Are you going to just stand there and listen?” I laughed but it died in my throat when he didn’t respond.

  I hurried up and flushed, pulling my outfit back over my shoulders. I slid the lock open on the door and looked out into the empty locker room.

  “What the hell?” I mumbled under my breath as I went to the sink and washed my hands, my arm thudding in pain.

  “Don’t mind me,” A voice called out and I jumped before looking over my shoulder.

  I noticed the guy leaning up against the end of the lockers, his hands shoved into his jean pockets. My eyes continued down further and I noticed his sneakers. There was no equipment bag in site. He clearly wasn’t here to skate unless he was renting his skates. Maybe he was on a date or something.

  “Sorry. The girl’s room had a line.” I took a small step back, rocking on the blade covers of my ice skates.

  “No need to apologize to me.”

  I turned back around, looking him over. His basic white tee hugged the muscles of his chest and he was a few inches taller than me, even with my skates.

  “You here to skate?” I asked.

  “God no,” he said with a little too much disdain.

  “Yeah. It’s a lot tougher than it looks,” I shot back defensively.

  “Oh, I didn’t mean to offend you,” he placed his hand on his chest as he took a few steps closer to me. “I’d probably make a fool out of myself. You looked great out there, by the way.”

  “You were watching me?” I turned back to him.

  “It was kind of hard not to. I’ve ever seen anything so beautiful. The skating I mean…” He stumbled over his words with a sheepish grin.

  “Oh… thank you.” I felt my entire body heat up and I hoped I wasn’t turning as pink as my outfit.

  “You should let me look at that,” he lifted his chin and I looked down at myself, my eyes widening in embarrassment as I covered my chest. “No! No!” he laughed, running his hand through his thick, short hair causing it to stick up haphazardly. I momentarily got lost in the gesture wishing I could be lucky enough to run my fingers through his hair. “Your arm,” he clarified as he sauntered toward me.

  “Oh! Right,” I shook my head feeling like I was burning up inside of my own skin. “It’s nothing. It happens all the time.” I waved him off as he stopped just inches from me.

  “Mind if I…” his voice trailed off as his fingers slid across my arm leaving goosebumps in the wake of his touch.

  “S-sure,” I stuttered, looking up at his face, taking in the hard lines of his jaw and the way his chocolate eyes narrowed as he looked me over.

  “I don’t think you did any real damage,” he said as he examined me, his finger running over the scrape and catching a wayward drop of blood. He looked like he might pass out.

  “Not a fan of blood?” I asked, scrunching up my nose in disgust.

  “Nah. Not really my thing but we should probably get you cleaned up.” He smiled and his eyes met mine. “Have we-”

  “No!” I yanked my arm back from his grip, embarrassed he thought I was the type of girl who just slept with random guys and didn’t even remember them.

  “Met,” he finished. “I feel like we have met before.”

  “Oh… uh… I don’t think so.” I felt tears prick my eyes out of embarrassment.

  “Come on,” he took my hand and pulled me back to the sink, turning on the water and waiting for it to warm before holding my arm under the stream and rinsing it clean before rubbing some soap on the wound.

  “You should be more careful,” he said as he examined my injury.

  “I think I’ll live,” I joked and he laughed. “Unless you came in here to murder me or something. You’re not a serial killer are you?”

  “No. No worries there.”

  “Vampire?”

  “Not a very good one if I can’t stand the sight of blood,” he deadpanned. “We haven’t had vampires for hundreds of years.”

  I rolled my eyes as he studies my arm. “If you believe in bedtime stories. I think people just made those stories up to keep their kids from going out at night. Are you a doctor or something?” I asked and he laughed, shaking his head.

  “No. Not yet. Hopefully one day. You know, it’s because of doctors that we don’t have monsters like that anymore. Are you up to date on your shots?” He teased and I stuck out my tongue.

  I nodded, impressed. “Nobel job… saving lives.”

  He shrugged off my compliment as he rubbed a wet paper towel over my scrape and I winced, trying to pull my arm back but he held it firmly. “You gotta do something,” he finally responded.

  “What about you? You’re an ice skater?”

  “Nah.” I shrugged, embarrassed. “I mean, I’ve always wanted to be but as you can see… I’m not very good. I’ll probably go to school to be a veterinarian or something.”

  His eyes narrowed as he thought that over. “I don’t know. I think you should stick with this… if it’s your dream.”

  “Maybe I will,” I mused.

  “Are you sure we haven’t met?”

  “I think I would remember,” I replied nervously.

  “I just have this intense case of Déjà vu,” he laughed as he rinsed the soap from my arm.

  “I don’t believe in any of that weird, magic stuff.”

  He laughed. Patting my arm dry with a fresh paper towel, he smiled widely, hesitating before letting my arm slide from his grasp.

  “All better.”

  “Thank you.” I let my arm fall to my side as I walked backward a few steps, waving awkwardly. “I guess I’ll see you around.”

  I turned and pressed both palms against the heavy wooden door and it squeaked on its hinges as it began to open.

  “I didn’t catch your name,” he called from behind me and I paused, hesitating before responding.

  “My name is Ava. Ava Ó Muireagáin.”

  “Ava,” he repeated with a smirk. “Doesn’t that mean life?”

  “Um… I don’t know,” I laughed. “Maybe. What’s your name?” I asked as I stepped through the door. It began to swing closed between us but he spoke up just before it slammed closed.

  “Elijah. Elijah Malakai.”

  CHAPTER ONE… AGAIN

  Elijah Malakai

  A lot had changed since I’d leapt from the building with Eva. Science prevailed and vampires where eradicated when a new vaccination made human blood unable to satisfy their hunger.

  As far as anyone knew.

  I did my best to single handedly wipe out thirteen major Sectors and seven of the ten Elder Council members. Moses still eluded me but I was confident he was long dead. I was willing to do anything to make the world safer for my love. Ava was getting a shot at a brand new li
fe where nothing was going to stand in the way of her dreams.

  I wasn’t a vampire.

  I was more.

  Ava’s blood hadn’t just given me true eternal life. I was stronger now and able to control my hunger. I could walk out in the sun with no worry other than getting a sunburn. And I held onto every single memory I’d had of her. But the one thing I couldn’t control was my need to protect her.

  I was the strongest and most dangerous creature to walk the Earth.

  I’d watched her for weeks, afraid to get too close to her. I wanted her to know about our history together, but if she found out too quickly, she would think I was crazy. I had to take my time and luckily, I had nothing but time.

  I’d learned my lesson.

  I’d watched my soulmate, now Ava, grow into a beautiful woman. I’d watched her begin to follow her dreams. I stood in the shadows and kept my distance as a boy from her school courted her. I watched him cheat on her and make her cry.

  His body was found three weeks later on the bank of a ravine.

  I watched her cry. Again.

  She mourned the loss of him for weeks. It killed me inside that I’d hurt her and I couldn’t go to her to make it better.

  I wasn’t the hero of her story.

  I vowed to stay away from her because I knew her life would be better that way. I wasn’t ready. Maybe the next lifetime… or the next.

  But I couldn’t.

  I wouldn’t.

  As hard as I tried to fight the special bond we’d made, it physically pained me not to be with her.

  In a moment of weakness, I went to her, as a predator tracks his prey. She had isolated herself from the safety of the other humans. For a fleeting moment, I entertained the idea of turning her in that locker room. We’d never have to play this game again. But as I watched her out on that ice, living out her dream, I couldn’t take it away from her. Instead, I asked her out on a date.