Love in the Robot Dawn

by C. W. Crowe

  "And that something was the boy we were operating on. That flash of insight told me that they planned on programming him to get into Area 51 and destroy that globe.

  "Actually, the programming was to be done in two parts - that provided by the robots which would make the boy seek out Area 51 and then destroy the globe. The boy would not even know he had that programming in him, but it would guide his behavior and take over once he was in place.

  "The second part of the programming was supposed to be provided by me. It was the human part - the memories, socialization, the ability to be a human being again after having been unconscious for so long.

  "Leo, I was horrified and determined that I would never help them do this monstrous thing. I told them that and, the next day, they began to destroy humanity.

  "I asked them why - they seemed to like humans, but I knew the answer. It had come to me in that flash of transferred robot thought - it was the sounds that people made when they thought. It drove them crazy, especially if there were a lot of humans present. And with six billion of them on the planet it was hard for them to get away from . . ."

  Stop! Stop! Oh God Stop! I didn't remember crying ever, but tears were streaming down my cheeks as Lucy turned over on her side, thankfully still asleep.

  And there were a lot of other things I didn't remember. Like how I'd never ridden a bicycle or drove a car. How I didn't remember any of my mother's author friends. How I'd never learned to whistle. How I could hear noises from humans.

  I knew it then, even without Nick finishing what he had to say.

  I was a robot or at least controlled by them and I was going to fix things so they could bomb Area 51 into rubble and create a world that would be forever safe for the robots.

  Me. The robot. The traitor.

  *.*.*

  I could tell the rest of Nick’s story was still there, waiting for me to allow him to again speak. I wiped my eyes and said “okay.” It couldn’t get any worse.

  “It was the noises that humans made. The robots couldn’t stand it so they decided to reduce the numbers of humans by something like 99.99 percent.

  “I saw it happening with my own eyes outside the lab which was in a suburb of Vegas. Their aircraft flew over and bombed, hour after hour. Maybe they’re still bombing now.

  “The robots didn’t even seem to notice the hellish chaos outside; they just told me that after the boy recovered for a few days from the robot module implant and programming, it would be my turn to perform my part of the operation. I started to tell them to shove it but instead decided to be quiet, look for a chance to escape; to get back to Parker and Area 51.

  “But they were having none of that. I was guarded around the clock so that the only thing I could do was think. I thought about suicide, but there didn’t seem to be a way. I thought about killing the boy once we again had him on the operating table - either with a scalpel or by just running my fingers through his brain.

  “And then I thought of something better. It was the human programming that I was supposed to do. I was going to give the boy some memories, some baseline of humanity so that he would develop into a real human being. And the robots needed me for this because they didn’t understand the things that really made us human. They knew the word ‘love’ for example, but they’d never felt it. They could pretend to be in love, but it would be just a series of actions with no real meaning.

  “It was almost like I was programming in a different and inherently foreign language - and that meant I could put in things that the robots wouldn’t notice or understand. You know this already by now, that it was me that was programming you on how to be human. I named you Leo after my neighbor’s son who was killed in the first bombing - and I shared some of my own memories with you. I tried to make them good ones.

  “The robots didn’t know that I also planned to tell you things - like I’m doing now. I set it to trigger when the robot channel went silent for more than twelve hours. That could only happen in Area 51; so when you hear this, I know that’s where you are.

  “And while they could program you to never tell anyone about the noises you hear or about your mission to destroy the globe, I could program you to learn the truth so that you can perhaps run away and not do what they want.

  “I understand, Leo, that they will place you in a home after we’re done here to let you get acclimated to your new life. I don’t see how that’s possible with all the destruction, but I know that’s what they plan. I also know you’ll one day feel the need to visit Area 51 and, when you hear this, you’ll actually be there.

  “Take my advice, please! Run away. Don’t look back. Don’t make the mistake I did of being weak until it was too late to turn back! Good luck, Leo. That’s all I can do for you. I pray it’s enough.”

  Part Six

  Chapter Forty-Seven: Logic Can Be Cruel

  I spent the rest of the night trying not to wake Lucy and thinking about running away. It was what Nick had advised and seemed like the perfectly logical thing to do. I knew that I'd been lured here to Area 51, but I was also sure I had the strength to leave. As of now, I didn't know where the cracked globe was and I certainly didn't know how to destroy the thing. I'd guessed it was in the alien ship somewhere, but the entrance to that was watched or locked all the time. I had a mental image of throwing the thing to the floor, but that might just have been my imagination. Maybe when I knew these things, my robot programming would kick in and force me into action, but until then, I was certain I could run away. Once I'd done that, I hoped I could resist the urge to return. If the urge to come here wasn't any stronger than it had been after Lucy and I had run away from Ft. Smith, I felt pretty confident that I could deal with it.

  So when should we leave? I was ready right now, but there was a complication and it was a big one. I knew Nick was right when he said I'd been programmed not to be able to say anything about my robot implant or what it wanted me to do. I don't know why I never thought of it before, but that explained why I'd never told Lucy about my ability to hear the noises made by other humans - it had to be a by-product of the robot code running in my implant. Since we'd been married, I told her everything, but not that. I should have known something was badly wrong, but it just seemed normal to me.

  I tried to imagine myself waking her up and saying, "Lucy, there's something I need to tell you. It's important."

  She'd initially frown, but then my words would register with her and she'd prop herself up on an elbow and turn those big eyes to me. "Go on, Leo," she'd say.

  Then I'd open my mouth and try to speak, but nothing would come out. Or else, I'd try really hard, but instead of telling her I was at least part robot, I'd say, "Your snoring is getting worse," or something equally stupid.

  I didn't actually have to wake her to know that would be the result because I could feel it now, deep down inside - the robot programming wouldn't allow me to talk to her about this.

  But I could tell her that I wanted us to leave - to sneak away without telling anyone where we were going. She'd want to know why, of course, and I couldn't answer so she might get mad at me. But I knew she'd follow me even if I couldn't tell her the reason because she loved me and I loved her. Till death do us part - that had been the bargain. She might fuss and yell at me for a day or two, but in the end, she'd go with me. I knew it.

  We'd be all alone, traveling the way we'd done for months with nothing but our wits to sustain us. Right now, those days seemed like the happiest of my life.

  I felt something clench inside my gut. That had worked before, but would it again? With Lucy getting bigger and closer to delivering our daughter every day? What if I got hurt and there was no one to take care of her? What if the baby started to come and there was a problem?

  No, I couldn't expose her to that risk, not when there was a real doctor and a modern medical facility right here. Not to mention the good food and shelter that we had. I couldn't take her away from that - not now, not even after our baby was born becaus
e my responsibilities would have then doubled.

  Logic can be cruel, but it can't be escaped. I tried to keep the thoughts out of my mind, but they would not be denied. If I couldn't take Lucy, I still had to go. Otherwise, my robot programming would eventually get triggered and I'd destroy the globe and the robots would be able to bomb this whole facility into dust.

  It was the only answer. I had to leave alone - just go away and never return. I wondered for quite a while whether it would be better to tell her I was leaving her even though I couldn't explain why - or just to disappear.

  I finally fell asleep before I came up with the answer. I dreamed of my life without Lucy and it was a nightmare.

  *.*.*

  The first thing I heard when I woke was Lucy. She was in the kitchen - I could tell from the smells that she was probably making breakfast. I could hear her noises clearly and they seemed content enough, but the other thing I heard broke my heart.

  She was singing, quietly and to herself. I didn't recognize the song, but it had a kind of hymn sound to it. I'd caught her singing one other time on the road and told her she had a good voice. She stared holes at me and said that I shouldn't lie.

  So hearing her this way was rare and it would probably be the last time I ever heard her sing. Somehow, as sad as I felt at having to leave her, that little song of hers made it a hundred times more painful. It was like she'd actually poked something inside me with that knife she'd threatened me with when we first met.

  In my mind, the knife hurt a lot, but the thought that I was going to leave her hurt a lot more.

  Just then, she called out, "Leo, you awake? Breakfast will be ready soon."

  I put my hand over my mouth to make sure nothing came out. I couldn't trust myself right now.

  I won't leave today. I can wait for one more day, can’t I? That thought was like a cool shower on a blazing summer afternoon. There was little risk in me staying another day. Parker had said we could just relax topside until they had more questions, so I'd likely stay well away from that alien spaceship and my robot implant would keep quiet.

  Sometime during the night, I'd realized how it would work. Once I knew where the globe was and how to destroy it, my robot implant would take over. It would move my limbs and control my face and it would force my body to do what they wanted. At that point, I'd be a helpless passenger and this last refuge of human research would be destroyed - along with Lucy and everyone else.

  But not today. Today I would spend with Lucy, looking into her eyes one more time, holding her hand and kissing her as much as she'd allow. Tonight, I'd hold her in my arms and smell her hair one last time. Then I’d sneak out and be long gone by morning. The Triumph was still out there, waiting. I'd be in Vegas before anyone missed me, hiding all by myself and wishing to God I could come back.

  But that would mean death to Lucy and Karen and Cory and everyone else. I couldn't do it. I had to leave.

  But not today. Not today.

  *.*.*

  She was probably in the best mood she'd ever been since I'd known her. It was infectious so that my own mood improved too, so at first she didn't seem to sense anything wrong with me. That was a relief.

  "Oh Leo, I slept so good last night, so deep. Did I snore any?" I'd kidded her about snoring after we got married and, after that, she was always worried she'd keep me awake. She said it was because of her nose and she just knew it made a loud and obnoxious snore.

  "Not a peep,” I said. It was a lie, but she smiled. Actually, I liked her snoring because it was so gentle, so much a sign of life. I knew I'd miss it, and that thought triggered a fresh poking of my insides with that sharp knife.

  She stared at me. I could tell her radar was out and was working. "Is something wrong, Leo?"

  I smiled and took her hand, hoping it would distract her. "No, why?"

  She sighed, "I guess I'm just jumpy, worried that our good luck won't last. Finally my husband, we're in civilization and there's a doctor and I have you and we'll soon have our new baby and the robots can't come around anymore and . . ."

  She stopped with a look of surprise on her face. "I sound like an idiot, don't I? It's just that, for a second, I thought you looked like you knew things that I didn't know, that you were keeping things from me. That's silly, right?"

  Before I could answer there was a knock on the door. It was Karen. She breezed in wearing shorts and a t-shirt. "Morning." She looked at me. "Cory isn't cooperating this morning. He only wants to wear the same clothes he had back at the Alien Research Center - they were some of our dad's that I took up the best I could. The people here found some things that actually fit, but he won't wear them. He says that Uncle Leo needs to tell him that they are okay for a boy to wear. He's afraid he'll look like a girl. So, Leo, will you come over and help him pick a pair of pants and a shirt?"

  Lucy laughed out loud. That was another sound I might never hear again. I looked at her and I think she thought I was asking for her advice. "Go on, Uncle Leo. A young gentleman awaits his schooling in how to dress in a manly manner."

  I nodded and went next door, leaving Karen and Lucy alone. It took a few minutes, but Cory was soon convinced that these were manly clothes. The two of us went back to our place and the girls oohed and aahed over him.

  *.*.*

  While they were doing that, something Lucy said bubbled up to the surface of my brain. It sat there, bobbing in the tide, waiting for me to acknowledge it.

  It was her statement that I looked like I knew things that she didn't know. Well, that was true enough. I did know things about me and I would soon have to act on that knowledge - I'd be forced to leave her and spend the rest of my life regretting it.

  But that wasn't what was demanding my attention - it was much broader. I did know more than Lucy did about what was going on. I physically could not tell her, but that wasn't the point.

  It occurred to me that Lucy was not alone. I also knew more than Parker or anyone else in Area 51 about the robots and their plans. I knew quite a lot more about Nick Presser and what had happened than anybody else. I knew things about the robots that Parker had no idea of. I knew I was a guided human missile, programmed to destroy this whole facility. I knew all that, but no one else did.

  And then I realized that I knew even more than the robots did. They almost certainly thought I was dead, that their bold experiment in creating a human that could be controlled by robots had failed. I knew it hadn't, but they didn't.

  And because of Nick Presser, I knew all about their plan. Even if they thought I was alive, they would not know that fact - they'd think I was still their puppet, completely unaware of what I would be forced to do.

  Put together, this was a lot of knowledge that was completely unique to me. The question then seemed to be, "So what if I know more than Lucy and Parker and even all the robots. What good was that?"

  At that very moment, I began to develop the barest outline of a plan - a plan that would use the knowledge that only I had; a plan that would have as its objective not just to live our lives in Area 51, but to rid the world of the robots, once and for all, so that humans could once again live free anywhere on planet earth.

  Lucy came over and put her arm around my waist. I needed to think, but right now I was just thankful that perhaps Barking Dog had been right - that maybe, just maybe, Lucy and I had been brought here for a reason.

  I realized in a flash that I couldn’t run away - I had to be here to kill the robots. And that meant I didn’t have to leave Lucy! I couldn’t help myself - I walked over to her and took her in my arms, lifting her until her feet left the floor while I kissed her.

  “Wow,” said Karen.

  Chapter Forty-Eight: Learning to Whistle

  It took a month until I had the basics of a plan that might work. It was sketchy in some places and downright tissue paper thin in others, but at least it was something.

  I'd managed to stay topside most of the time and when I was underground, I made it a point to not even
look at the doors behind which the scientists toiled on the alien ship. I had no idea what they were doing - just that whatever it was, we were still trapped here in Area 51 and the robots still ruled the world.

  The more I thought about Nick Presser and the things he'd told me and done for me, the more I hated the robots and the more I wanted to kill them.

  But before that could happen, I needed to make some preparations and the first was to get Lucy working with me. For a while, that had seemed like an impossible feat since I couldn't just come right out and tell her what the robots had planned.

  Day after day, however, I explored the limits of what I could say and what I couldn't. I found that I could say generic things like "I want all robots dead", but nothing specific like, "I have an implant in my brain".

  Hopefully it was enough and now it was time to find out.

  *.*.*

  I nudged Lucy. She'd had a big day and was sound asleep. Actually, we'd all had a big day because Parker had finally assigned us jobs. At first, lying around with plenty of food and no obvious danger was a godsend, but it soon became stale. Not having anything to do led to more than one fight with Lucy - and I'll even admit that a couple were my fault.

  So when Parker asked Lucy if she'd like to be in charge of Domestic Operations for our little colony out here in the middle of the desert, she'd agreed before she even knew exactly what the job was.

  It turned out to be just about perfect for her because it meant she had to plan and organize all our "domestic" items - our food, clothes, scientific supplies, everything. It reminded me of the job we'd been given at Los Alamos - apparently scientists of all stripes weren't good at keeping track of their stuff.

  I knew Lucy would be perfect at this and she'd thrown herself into the job, using a tablet computer to make lists. She had the run of the place except for the private residences and the lab. Her job might sometimes require her to go in there, but she had to be approved to enter.