Jessica’s Breakdown

by Alicia White

  bubbles. Cleaning her razor in the water, she moved to the other leg, before rinsing off once more and climbing out of the tub.

  Stepping out, she grabbed a towel and dried herself off before walking back into the room. The cool air touched her skin and she shivered, wanting to get into bed. She pulled open the top drawer and got her favorite cotton jammies. Yawning, she got dressed and then went to the huge king sized bed and got in, pulling the covers up high.

  Lying in bed, in the silence of the room, Jessica closed her eyes and hoped that sleep would come quickly. Her body felt exhausted and she moved around the bed, trying to find the best position.

  Opening her eyes, she stared at the wall and wondered what Alyssa, Bella, Hannah, and Diana were doing. Would Diana arrive in town while she was gone? Did she remember to e-mail her the itinerary before leaving? Was Alyssa feeling okay? Was Bella? She had been acting more hormonal lately.

  Shifting to her other side, Jessica tried to block all of her thoughts but it was useless. Throwing the covers off, she grabbed her phone and sent her itinerary to Diana with a short email, and then she sent quick text messages to her friends. She knew that if she didn’t do it now, she would probably be up later, tossing and turning. Once she sent the messages, Jessica went to back to bed and lay down.

  Chapter Five

  Chase had been a bit nervous, wondering if Jessica had spotted Beau standing near the checkin desk. It had been a long day and trying to avoid one petite woman was harder than he thought. He paced around their room while Beau leaned back against the headboard and watched TV. They had avoided the lobby and restaurant, getting the heads up from a few friends that she was eating dinner.

  His cell phone rang and Chase grabbed it. “Hello.”

  “She went back to her room. The dining room is all clear. Why don’t you and Beau join Sean and me for some dinner? We’re heading there now,” Mark said, and Chase felt himself relax a bit, his paranoia lessening.

  “Thanks,” he sighed.

  “You can fill me in on your plan and tell me what the hell is going on with Miss Beckett.”

  “We will. Meet you there.” Clicking the end button, Chase turned to Beau.

  “Come on let’s grab some dinner.” Chase nodded, grabbed his wallet off the desk and held open the door, waiting for Beau.

  “I told you she didn’t see me. You need to calm down. We are here to observe and hopefully get to know Jessica a little better.”

  “You don’t feel like we might be doing something wrong, by being here?” Chase stared at his brother, wondering if maybe he felt the same way. He didn’t want to scare her off, or create more distance between them. She had done that right after they had sex at the grand opening.

  “No. We care about her. She’s a private person and we just want to know what she likes. This is our chance to prove that we can be the right men for her.” Beau sounded confident and Chase wished that he felt the same way. His brother walked past him and Chase closed the door, following him down the hall, toward the dining room. They had been able to get one of the private suites on the first floor, one of the perks of being friends with the owners.

  Walking into the dining room, Chase searched for Mark and Sean.

  When he spotted them, he went to their table and sat down. It was still hard for him to believe that Jessica was here at the Iron Gate.

  Looking around, he felt almost out of place. It had been so long since he had been inside Iron Gate. He and Beau both never really thought they would be able to find a woman who would be into all their kinks and also take them both forever. They had given up this part of their lives. What he still had a hard time believing was that Jessica was here as a Domme and not a sub. Then again, she was a very complex woman.

  “I want you both to know that I went against policy by confirming that Miss Beckett was here. I normally wouldn’t do that, but since we’re old friends, I made an exception. You also sounded quite desperate on the phone. So, tell me, why are you both here and what do you want with Jessica?” Mark sat back in his chair and waited for a response. Chase wasn’t sure what he really wanted to say though.

  “We’ve known Jessica for a while now. She moved to Coltmann County with her friends about a year ago. Her friend Bella told us that she was coming here, and both Beau and I found that quite interesting. We’re here to observe, but we’re hoping for more,” Chase explained.

  “We know you went against policy, and we’re very grateful that you confirmed Jessica was coming here. I guess we’re just trying to find a way to prove that the three of us can be together. She really means a lot to us and we want to be the men for her,” Beau added.

  “You guys know that she’s not a sub, right?” Sean asked, confused, and Chase gritted his teeth, feeling disappointed. He knew that they had a fifty-fifty chance of her being a sub, but knowing that she wasn’t disappointed him more than he was willing to admit.

  “I don’t think that’s the real her, I think she’s hiding from something,” Beau said, obviously refusing to take Sean’s word as the truth.

  “You think that you can change her?”

  “No. We don’t want to change her. We’re not asking her to become a sub at all. We just want her,” Chase said, hoping deep down that maybe she was really a sub.

  “We can’t always have what we want,” Mark said, and Chase wanted to disagree, but kept his mouth shut.

  “You’ll still help us though, right?” Beau asked, sitting up straighter in his chair.

  This was important to them both and they really wanted to have this chance to watch Jessica from afar. Maybe they could learn more about what turned her on? Maybe they would realize that when she said it wouldn’t work out between them, that it really wouldn’t? He didn’t know anymore.

  This was their chance. If she refused them again and rejected their advances once more, they would back off, for good this time. He felt like they were getting mixed messages. She stared at them both as if she wanted to touch them, needed their affection, but then she backed off, giving them the cold shoulder. The day of the grand opening of Love Song, he thought that they were finally going to be together on more than a physical level.

  “Yes, of course. It’s obvious that you both care about her and we know that your intentions are good. Tomorrow morning around ten she’s teaching a seminar in the main playroom. That’s the only thing on her schedule right now. If anything changes, I’ll let you both know,” Mark told them, and Chase nodded, feeling a little bit better.

  “Let’s order dinner, I’m starved.” Beau handed out the menus and Chase stared at it, not really reading the options.

  When the server arrived at the table, Chase ordered a beer and a burger. He listened as Beau talked with Mark and Sean, but he couldn’t get into the conversation. His mind was consumed with thoughts of Jessica wearing black leather and dominating different young men. He knew that she wouldn’t have any problem finding a play partner. After all, she was gorgeous. Men probably followed her around like little puppies.

  His stomach felt sick but still he ate, pretending to listen as everyone talked. Could he be submissive for Jessica? Did he want her bad enough to possibly try it or to at least see if it turned him on?

  Would Beau even consider being submissive? Shaking his head he realized that no, his brother wouldn’t be willing.

  “Jessica might need a volunteer.”

  Chase looked up and stared at Mark, wondering what exactly he had missed.

  “Volunteer?” He shook his head.

  “Yeah, when she’s giving a seminar she likes using a volunteer that we pick for her. It makes it easier than picking a man from the audience.”

  “I wish that I could volunteer, but she already knows what I look like.” He scoffed, realizing that he was going to be watching her in action and wouldn’t be able to say or do anything.

  Smiling broadly, Mark crossed his arms over his chest and nodded. Chase could tell that he had a plan. It was obvious. Arching his br
ow, Chase waited impatiently, wondering what he would say.

  Looking over at Beau, he saw his brother squinting. Maybe he already knew what Mark was planning to say.

  “I do have an idea, but I’m not sure if you’ll be willing to do it.”

  Mark moved forward, leaning into the table and Chase found himself mimicking his movements.

  “Are you considering subbing for her?” Mark asked, and Chase swallowed hard, unsure if he was willing to completely change his role.

  It was hard to believe that subs really did have all the power.

  When you decided to give power over to another person, that took a huge amount of trust and respect. Most people thought that the Dom was in charge, but without the sub relinquishing their power, a Dom couldn’t be in charge.

  The desire to be with Jessica was over whelming. She was on his mind every minute of the day. Nodding his head, Chase held his breath, wondering what Mark’s idea was.

  “I know this is isn’t something you’ve done before, but if you want to be her volunteer tomorrow, I can only think of one thing to do. You could wear a mask covering your face and a pair of jeans or shorts. There are lots of male subs, so it should be easy for you to figure out what to wear.”

  Chase’s heart rate picked up and he cringed, leaning back in his seat. Did he really want to be her volunteer that much? He needed to think about it, but he knew that time was running out. The seminar was tomorrow morning. Turning in his seat, he looked at Beau, wondering what he thought.

  “I don’t think it’s a good idea, Chase.” Beau shook his head.

  “This might be what we need though to get her attention.” He shrugged. The only thing he hated was the idea of being on stage. All of her attention and focus wouldn’t be on him. If it was a private room, he would’ve immediately volunteered. Although, if she wasn’t too focused on him, then maybe she wouldn’t be asking him questions and maybe she wouldn’t realize that it was him under the mask.

  Beau didn’t like the idea of Chase going on stage with Jessica.

  She already knew them, had seen them naked. He wasn’t ready for

  her to know that they were here in Dallas. It was supposed to remain a secret for a little while longer. He wanted to see her in action first. He wanted to see if she really was a Domme and not a sub. It was hard to believe that she wasn’t a sub. Most people that were subs liked the loss of power in their personal lives because they were so much in control in their professional lives. That had been his experience.

  “I still don’t like it, Chase. You’ve never subbed before. Jessica will be expecting a man on stage that follows orders and enjoys what she’s going to be doing. Do you want to be spanked? Possibly whipped? No, very bad idea.”

  “You’re right. I don’t want to be spanked, whipped, or have anything shoved up my ass.” Chase looked disappointed and Beau understood. They had been trying to get Jessica’s attention for a really long time.

  “Exactly, I forgot about ass play.” Beau knew that reminding Chase what might happen up on stage would stop him from volunteering. He didn’t want to watch her with another man, but he did want to see the excitement in her eyes.

  Whenever he had played in the past, it made him feel an overwhelming sense of excitement and power. He wondered if she felt the same way. Watching her would cement it for them. This week might prove if they had a chance for something more in the future.

  “Is there another sub you’re thinking about for Jessica to use?”

  “There are always male subs looking for a woman to Dom them.”

  He shrugged. “I’ll find someone.”

  “Make sure he isn’t single,” Chase said before finishing his beer.

  “Not a problem.” Mark nodded.

  Beau focused on his food, taking big bites. It had been an interesting day traveling from Coltmann County to Austin and then flying to Dallas. He had been a little worried that Jessica would see them. Luckily, the one time she had caught them, he was able to move around the corner. It had been a close call.

  “Tomorrow morning, are you going to watch from the observation room or are you planning on being closer to the stage?” Sean asked.

  The four of them left the dining room and headed toward the lobby.

  He did a quick sweep of the room, making sure that Jessica hadn’t come back down from her room.

  “I’m not sure. I want to be close enough to hear what she has to say, but I’m worried that she might see us. We’ll probably sit in the observation room and just watch her,” Chase said.

  “Body language is more important than people think. We won’t be focusing on her words. Instead, we’ll be able to watch her face and eyes.” Beau walked down the private hallway toward their suite. He was ready to call it a night. Tomorrow would be an enlightening experience.

  Chapter Six

  Stretching, Jessica blinked her eyes rapidly, trying to wake up.

  She had a class to teach and had been looking forward to this since her last visit. Crawling out of bed, Jessica headed to the bathroom to take a quick shower. She was still early, but she knew that she wanted to spend a few extra minutes straightening her hair and applying makeup.

  Walking into the bathroom, Jessica finally felt her nerves set in.

  Every time she went on stage she felt a little scared. Not having an outline or a specific class was even more nerve-wracking, but luckily there was still time to talk to Mark and find out what he wanted her to do. She also needed to make sure she had a volunteer.

  Moving through the bathroom, she washed her face and brushed her teeth. Plugging in her straightener, she started her makeup routine.

  It was always important to look the part and she wanted to appear a little on the wicked side. This was her dress-up time, children got Halloween, and Jessica got her vacation here at Iron Gate.

  Finally, after almost an hour, Jessica went back into her room and started getting dressed. She decided to wear her black leather knee-length dress. She knew once she put it on, it would be close to impossible to take back off. The dress hugged her body and almost prevented her from breathing, but it made her feel like she was in total control. Next, she went to the dresser and put on her five-inch black pumps. Stepping back, she stared at herself in the mirror and felt like a completely different person.

  Grabbing her room key off the desk, Jessica headed to the door and out of her room. She took a few deep breathes, trying to compose

  herself as she waited for the elevator. Stepping on, she pushed the Lobby button and waited as the elevator started to move. Her first stop was Mark’s office, Jessica headed down the long hallway by all the private suites. Knocking on the door, she waited.

  “Come in.” She heard Mark’s gruff voice. Turning the knob, she walked in and waited for him to acknowledge her.

  Looking up, Mark smiled. “Good morning. Come on in and have a seat.”

  “Morning.” Jessica walked over toward his desk and sat in the chair across from him.

  “Are you ready for your class?”

  “About that…I was hoping you could help me with a subject choice. I have no idea what to talk about. Normally, I’m more prepared, but today I’m not.”

  “Don’t worry about it. I’ve got lots of ideas. In fact, there was going to be a seminar later in the day on erotically dominating a submissive man. I had to cancel it. Why don’t you do a little scene on stage, about forty minutes should be enough time.”

  “Sounds perfect, do you have a volunteer I can use?”

  “Of course, there are always lots of volunteers ready to help.”

  “Perfect. I’m going to head out and grab some coffee. Bring him to the stage around ten. I’ll be ready to go.” Standing up, Jessica headed out of Mark’s office and down the hall, needing some extra energy.

  She felt a little anxious, her stomach rolled and she knew there was no way she could eat anything until after her time on stage.

  Rubbing her stomach, Jessica went toward the bac
k of the hotel, through the two huge iron gates and into the actual club. It was dark and cool. Instantly, she felt as though she had been transported to another world.

  Walking up to the large self-serve bar, she grabbed a coffee cup and filled it. Taking a quick sip, she sat it on the counter and grabbed a few packets of sugar and the creamer, adding a liberal amount.

  Sitting down on one of the bar stools, she took a few drinks of her coffee as she looked around.

  In the main room, the walls were all black, music played in the background and she swayed to the slow techno beat. The lights were dim throughout the room, except for the spotlights that highlighted the different play areas. There were multiple floors, hallways, and tons of rooms with different themes. During the daytime, there were usually multiple seminars happening. The Iron Gate believed in educating their guests and Jessica respected that a lot.

  Glancing up at the clock, she realized that she only had a few minutes. She was grateful that Mark had given her a topic. It made her feel a little less stressed knowing that all she needed to do was talk to the audience and show them a basic scene. The class was meant as an introduction to women who were interested in becoming dominant.

  Standing up, she straightened her dress and walked toward the stage.

  People were already seated, coffee in hand, waiting for her. The crowd mostly consisted of women, but there were a few men sitting on the floor next to their mistresses.

  Climbing up the stairs, Jessica got onstage. She took a few deep breaths and smiled, looking out at the crowd. The lights were bright and even though she couldn’t see everyone she knew that they could see her.

  “Good morning, everyone, I’m Jessica. I don’t expect any special titles, unless I’m playing, of course, and then I usually demand that I’m called ‘Ma’am.’” She smiled and winked. Looking out at the audience, she recognized a few faces and was glad that there were some friends mixed into the group.