“And if that means I get to ogle girls in wet T-shirts…”
“As long as I get to stay outside,” Maxwell said with a grin.
The image of Yolanda flashed through Whitney’s head again. There was only one cute girl that she could think about it at the moment, but it was painful to do so. “We forgot about that drink.”
“Oh, right.”
Just as they were getting up, a girl arrived in front of them. She had a beer in her hand, and the glazed grin on her face said it wasn’t her first. “You’re Yolanda’s friends, right? I’m Marren! Rochelle is my friend, which makes us friends. You two should come dance with us!”
She pointed at the group she was with. They were tearing up the dance floor.
“Oh, I don’t know,” Whitney said. “I can’t really compete with that.” She didn’t know how to do anything like the others were doing. It had been years since she’d been out to a place like this, and she doubted she was even capable of that sort of thing anymore.
“No competition, just fun,” Marren said. “Come on, it’ll be fun.”
“I’ll get the drinks, you go with them,” Maxwell said.
With no way out, Whitney went forward and joined the group. They did a quick round of introductions. Marren and Selena were a couple, and the girl named Debra was on her own.
They formed into a circle on the dance floor, the group of them moving in rhythm with the beat. The song was an okay one, and Whitney danced as well as she could. She was years out of practice, not to mention self-conscious. Her movements were restrained, and she didn’t know what to do with her arms or hands. She looked at the others for guidance, but they were all so far ahead of her in expertise.
When Maxwell handed her a shot, the burn made her feel a little more confident. He had four shot glasses balanced on his palm, so Whitney immediately took another. After the second, she immediately felt the effect.
As the group gyrated in a circle, Selena made her way into the middle. She let loose with some moves, breakdancing on the floor. Whitney gaped as she continued to shuffle her feet. The other girls cheered, and Whitney felt more people looking over her shoulder.
Selena held the spotlight for a moment, her joyous laughter betraying how much she loved the attention. After, she went back to the side. Marren was quick to take her place, doing some crazy moves Whitney had never seen before. Whitney backed up a little to let people watch as more of them continued to crowd around and cheer.
“Going to get another drink,” Maxwell shouted in her ear.
Whitney nodded, eyes still on the dancer in the middle. After several minutes had passed, she glanced over to the bar. She didn’t see Maxwell, but she was sure he was fine. If any person on this planet could take care of himself, it was that huge, burly man.
The large circle split up, and the girls went back to dancing in their original group. Whitney’s leg was getting sore. If she was unlucky, she was going to get a blister soon. She continued to shuffle uncomfortably as the two couples started grinding on each other again. Whitney tore her eyes away, feeling like she was intruding just by being there.
Her buzz was wearing off again, and the memories of Yolanda’s chilly rejection nagged at the back of her mind. It was going to take her a while to get over that. A few minutes after the group separated, she was ready to go home. Maxwell said he was done for the night, too.
“I think I’m going to head home,” she told Marren. “I’m tired.”
“I’m about ready to go too,” Marren said, nudging Selena. “But not to sleep.”
Whitney sighed. She was happy for all of these couples, but she didn’t need it rubbed in that they were going to go home together while she spent her millionth night in a row alone. It had been a long time since anyone had touched her body. Not that they would want to.
Not that she would let them.
Three
Yolanda closed the front door behind her, doing her best not to make a sound. The security system beeped regardless. Considering how lightly Jessie slept, it was no surprise that she appeared at the top of the staircase a minute later.
“Mama!” she called.
Yolanda winced. Jessie was loud enough to wake up Truman and his wife Ella. Still, Yolanda opened her arms to her as she rushed down the stairs and jumped at her. “There’s my little princess.”
The preschooler looked up at her with an accusing face. “I waked up and you weren’t here. Where did you go?”
She shifted Jessie on her hip, pushing back a few strands that had come out of her ponytail as she slept. Jessie had hair like her, shiny and black, although it was only down to her neck while Yolanda’s nearly reached her waist.
Hopefully the little girl had actually been sleeping. She seemed wide-awake now, and it would be an effort to get her to go back to bed now that she was up. But if she didn’t sleep, there would be hell to pay in the morning. Yolanda was the one who took care of her during the day, and not sleeping tonight would throw her schedule off for days.
“You woke up,” she corrected, setting her down. “I went out with a friend. Sometimes mamas do that.”
“No,” she said with a pout. “Mama have to stay home with me.”
“Has to,” Yolanda said, leading Jessie up the stairs. “And Mama is usually at work when you wake up at night. Mama is always here for you if you need her, though.”
“Mama needs to stay home,” Jessie said, trudging along wearily. “Can we play with Piggy and Monkey?”
Yolanda opened the door, noticing Jessie’s two favorite stuffed animals were at the top of the heap that covered half the bed. She shouldn’t have had so many toys, but Yolanda found it hard not to spoil her. Her little girl deserved all of this and more.
“We can play with them in the morning,” she said.
Jessie picked up the pig and the monkey, holding them so they looked at each other. “Play with them now.”
With a pat on her back, Yolanda took the toys from Jessie’s hand. “In the morning, Princess. You need to sleep now. And so do I.”
“No sleep!” Jessie exclaimed, bouncing on the bed.
Yolanda suppressed a yawn. “Tell me, Princess, what can I do to get you to sleep?”
“Song!”
“Okay, I’ll sing you a song. How about Rock-a-Bye Baby?”
Jessie nodded, her eyes wide as she got under the blanket. She was completely wired. Luckily, the first few lines of the song had her yawning. Yolanda sang softly, stroking Jessie’s hair as she did. Her eyes closed little by little until they were only half open at the end.
“Are you ready to go to sleep now?” she asked.
“Okay, Mama.”
Yolanda left, shutting the door carefully behind her. As she went down to the basement, she shook her head as she recalled the events of that night. How did people manage to keep thinking she was gay everywhere she went? She was so clearly straight. If she wasn’t, how would she have a daughter? Especially at such a young age.
Images of the female couples she had seen at Lady Cave flooded her mind—first the ones she didn’t know, and then the friends of Rochelle’s. They had definitely not held back from doing whatever they wanted right out in public.
Yolanda’s throat was tight as she thought about the things she had seen them doing to each other. Kissing, touching, moving together in suggestive gyrations… It was definitely not for her.
And the bartender asking her to dance? She couldn’t get over that. Whitney had always seemed so nice when they used to chat. She’d never given any indication of being attracted to Yolanda. When Yolanda found out Whitney was gay, she’d pictured her with a woman. The mental image made her stomach lurch.
She’d been rude to Whitney tonight, but Whitney was a good-looking girl and doubtless had her choice of women. Yolanda doubted she’d affected her too much. Whitney would get over it in no time. She’d probably gone home with another girl, actually. Why did Yolanda’s chest tighten at that thought?
Yolanda cl
imbed into bed, unwilling to continue thinking along these lines. In the morning, she was woken by a sliver of light that cut through her tiny window and went right in her eyes. She groaned, covering her face with her arms. Living in a basement, she should have been immune to this kind of situation.
Well, she was awake now. She grabbed for her phone, checking for messages. To her surprise, there were over twenty. She thumbed it open and looked at them, which were all from one conversation. Apparently Rochelle had added her into a group chat with all of her lesbian friends sometime between last night and this morning. Whitney and Maxwell were in it now, too. She scrolled through the messages.
Marren: Hey, guys. Since we all have the day off, I was thinking we could hang out.
Selena: Who would want to hang out with you?
Marren: LOL, when did you send that?
Selena: When you fell asleep. You’re sleeping again now, and you look so damn cute.
Yolanda could just picture the couple cuddled up in bed together. Meanwhile, she was lying here alone. Not that it mattered. She didn’t have the time or the energy for a relationship. She was a mother, after all. At moments like this, though, she felt a little lonely.
Debra: Seriously, guys? I just woke up with the worst hangover known to man, and I already have to deal with you two flirting?
Rochelle: I’m in for sure. I have a different idea, though. How about a hike?
The sound of Yolanda’s chuckle even surprised her. She couldn’t quite picture that group going out and hiking together. They belonged in a bar, in the dark. As she read more messages, she saw some of them felt the same.
Debra: You have to be shitting me.
Rochelle: Nope, I know an awesome trail.
Selena: I’m interested. Marren and I will bring the puppy.
Maxwell: K, I’ll come if everyone is going.
Selena: Yes, everyone is going! Come!
Debra: Ugh. I’m feeling nauseous. Maybe another time.
Yolanda lay back, looking at her phone. The girls were still planning the details of when and where to meet. They weren’t her friends, but they were friendly, and they had included her in the conversation. She needed to at least reply.
Morning, everyone, she wrote. Wish I could come, but I’m going to be spending Easter Sunday with my daughter. Maybe another time.
Marren: Bring her! She can play with Biscuit.
Selena: We would love to meet her. Her picture was adorable!
Yolanda tried to picture Jessie meeting the group of lesbians and Maxwell. The image was laughable. For all she knew, Truman had other plans for their daughter’s day. But they didn’t have anything official planned until dinnertime.
I don’t think so, she typed… but she paused before sending it. Could meeting Jessie silence the rumors about her sexuality? After all, no one could continue to think she was gay once they met the product of her straightness.
Before she could decide, Whitney replied for the first time. I’d love to come. I can bring my dog, too. She sent a picture along with the message, showing a dachshund with liquid chocolate eyes. The picture was just as cute as the others Whitney had shown Yolanda before.
That settled it. Yolanda would spend some time with some nice people, play with an adorable dog, and put any lingering ideas about her sexuality to rest. I’m in, she wrote.
It took a few minutes to decide on when and where to meet. Eventually they chose one o’clock at the entrance to a trail. Yolanda had never been there, but she figured she would give it a shot. After making a late breakfast, she went upstairs to clear the plan with Truman. He and Ella were in the upstairs kitchen with Jessie.
“Taking my daughter out with a bunch of adults?” Truman asked.
“They’re nice people,” Yolanda said. “She’ll like them.”
“I don’t know about this. I’ve never met these people.”
“Weren’t you telling me the other day about how we should expose her to diversity? There are two different gay couples.”
Truman gave her a funny look. “I suppose she could use a chance to socialize with some new people.”
Yolanda asked Jessie what she thought about going out. Once Yolanda told her there were dogs involved, Jessie’s face lit up. “Puppies! I want to play with the puppies!”
Yolanda grinned. “It’s settled, then.”
At twenty to one, she collected Jessie and took her out to the backyard, where she unlocked her bicycle. She helped her daughter into the bright pink basket that sat on the handlebars, then climbed on.
“Where’s my headphone?” the little girl demanded.
“Right here, Princess.” Yolanda put one in her daughter’s ear, then one in her own. It was always a risk to let her handle the $200 Bose earbuds, but she was careful with them—and even at her age, she could appreciate the incredible sound quality. “What are we listening to today?” she asked.
“Metallica!” Jessie said.
Yolanda had to smile as she queued up some heavy metal songs. One day, Jessie might think of this as Mom’s lame music. For now, her taste aligned with Yolanda’s own.
“We’re going for a ride!” Jessie exclaimed as the music blared into their ears.
Yolanda began to pedal, taking a left on the first road she hit. “We sure are, Princess.”
They got to the trail on time, but most of the others were already there. Yolanda greeted them with guarded friendliness. She wondered if Truman did have a point; the conversations that a group of adults could have might not be appropriate for a four-year-old. But the girls had encouraged her to bring Jessie, and surely they knew how to restrain themselves.
Jessie beamed at each of them as Yolanda introduced them.
“Your name is Jessie? My name is Jessie, too!” Rochelle said.
Jessie looked at her through squinted eyes. “It is?”
“It sure is,” Selena said. “Actually, my name’s Jessie too.”
“And mine,” Maxwell put in.
Just then, Jessie caught sight of the golden retriever whose leash Selena was holding. “Puppy!” she yelled, her eyes turning into saucers.
She ran at Biscuit and tackled him, but the dog didn’t seem to mind. He immediately nudged her back, making her fall gently on her butt. Jessie’s laughter pealed through the air, and then she flailed as the puppy licked her face. “Mama, it feels funny!” She was charming the others as much as the dog was charming her.
The exuberant mood paused, at least for Yolanda, when Whitney arrived. She stood silently as Whitney said hello to everyone. When she introduced herself to Jessie, Yolanda felt herself tense.
Maybe she could get away without saying hello to Whitney. Maybe she could go without speaking to her for the entire hike. But Whitney didn’t seem to see that as a plan.
“Hey,” she said to Yolanda, looking her straight in the eye.
Yolanda looked into those eyes, which were all too blue, too clear, too genuine. She didn’t mean to glare back, but with the tension that built inside her, she had no choice.
“Hey.”
Four
So Yolanda hated her. That was fine. Whitney could deal with that. She passed Valentine’s leash from one hand to the other, dropping her gaze from Yolanda’s piercing one. She wished Yolanda would at least be friendly to her, but she supposed she couldn’t blame her.
Now that Whitney had hit on her, Yolanda knew she was into her. From now on, Yolanda would know Whitney had been eyeing her long, shiny hair and slender frame every time they talked. Yolanda had good reason to be chilly to her.
To be fair, Yolanda had been chilly for a while now. Whitney had nothing to lose last night.
At least the others didn’t seem to notice the awkwardness between Whitney and the too-attractive DJ. “This is your dog?” Rochelle exclaimed. “He’s so cute! Or she is.”
“She’s a girl,” Whitney said. “Her name is Valentine.”
“I love dachshunds,” Selena said, coming closer and scratching Valentine be
hind the ears. With her little legs and long body, the dog trembled. Her big eyes looked up at Whitney as if asking for permission to enjoy this.
Whitney ran her hand over her back. “She’s a great dog.”
Not that she was going to bring it up, but she’d adopted her on the suggestion of her doctor. He’d even been willing to write a prescription to let Whitney have an emotional support animal, saying the affection and companionship provided by a dog would help Whitney’s stability.
There was too much red tape for Whitney to go through the official process, but she’d taken the advice to adopt a dog. It worked, too—Valentine sometimes felt like the only thing that kept Whitney sane. After how things had gone in Iraq, it was dicey sometimes.
“Oh, they’re about to sniff each other,” Marren said, watching as Biscuit pulled away from Jessie and came up to Valentine. The dogs circled each other for a second, the golden retriever friendly and the dachshund wary. After a moment, Valentine leaned in and bumped Biscuit with her nose.
“They like each other!” Jessie exclaimed.
“They sure do,” Yolanda said, picking the little girl up and placing her on her hip. “Everybody ready to go?”
“Everyone’s here?” Marren asked.
Rochelle shrugged. “Debra didn’t come, remember? And Greg’s working.” Greg was her boyfriend. “We should get going now. We have a fair bit of ground to cover. This hike takes about an hour.” Seeing the others’ eyes widen, she laughed. “Don’t worry. It’ll be worth it.”
They started on a gravel path that broke into the trees. The area was definitely pretty. The small amount of snow that had fallen over the winter had all melted, and the grass was greener than before. The sound of birdsongs tinkled around them, and the air smelled of fresh leaves.
Whitney walked at the back of the group, falling behind the others. A blister was definitely forming on her leg. It was going to be painful if she didn’t take care of it. She listened with half an ear to the conversation, but she couldn’t stay back here forever, and her time to herself was over once Rochelle made her the target of her curiosity.
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