Lying Lips

by Mahaughani Fiyah

  And his fear was correct.

  “So where are we having lunch today?” Armani looked over to me expectantly.

  Now what was I going to do? My children needed me. But I had a psycho husband that needed me as well. Could I let Asanti wait a few hours while I spent time with my children and my husband, the first one? Or should I go running back to Asanti and leave my children without their mother and hurt again?

  My life had become insane and I needed to get it back together.

  But before I could even begin to decide what I was going to do, Ashton spoke up. “Your mother has somewhere to be right now. But she’ll be home as soon as she’s done. Right?” He said the words to them as he looked at me.

  “But Mom,” Amaya began to whine. “We haven’t seen you in forever and—”

  “Let’s go kids,” Ashton said to them as he started forward, fully expecting them to follow suit.

  “But—” I tried to say something but my husband wasn’t having it. He was so angry with me that being near me was killing him. Just the thought of that shattered me into a million pieces. My marriage, the original one, was going to be over if I didn’t get my act together and get it together now. “I was going to treat you guys to lunch at Greedy’s today,” I announced cheerfully, as though that was going to make up for all that I had done to them.

  “No thanks,” Ashton spoke coldly, “I’m taking them to the movies and then to a late lunch. So go ahead and get back to work, and we’ll see you whenever,” he turned back in my direction and placed a kiss on my lips. It was for show because there was absolutely no emotion in it. “I love you,” he said to me with an anger that chilled me down to my cheating bones.

  “But Dad,” the kids began simultaneously,

  “No but’s,” he chastised gently. “Let’s go.”

  And with no more words, he and the kids were gone, leaving me standing in the church parking lot looking like that fool that I felt like. Without a single word to anyone, I raced to my car and went home to the house I shared with my husband.

  The other one.

  A few days later Asanti had to leave New Orleans and head back home to Washington D.C. A major celebrity was hosting a charity event out of the country and wanted Asanti’s company to handle everything. It was a serious job that would generate lots of income as well as boost his reputation at home and abroad. It was the chance of a lifetime.

  As much as he didn’t want to leave me, this was something he’d worked toward most of his career and wanted to handle everything first hand. So with the setting of the sun that night until just before the rising of the sun the very next day my husband, the dangerous one, made love to me like it would be the last time he was to see me in a long time. Because it was. Then he headed out of the door with the promise of returning in about a month with a surprise.

  Instantly I was on the move. I hadn’t seen my children since church. Hadn’t talked to my husband, the first one, in days and wanted to, needed to, reopen the lines of communication. My family unit, the one that had been so perfect before Asanti came along, was almost nonexistent. I needed to put it back together.

  Less than an hour after Asanti left the house I shared with him, I was entering the house I shared with Ashton. A deep sigh escaped me when I locked the door behind me. I was home. Finally home. In my real home, where my real family lived. Because the sun still hadn’t risen yet, all was quiet. Serenely quiet. I knew the moment they all laid eyes on me that the serenity would be gone. I would disrupt their peace. I had some serious explaining to do.

  As quietly as I could, I walked down the hall that led to the bedroom I shared with Ashton and slowly, silently opened the door. My husband, the first one, was in bed, lying there looking completely at peace. I was going to shatter that peace with only my presence. The moment he woke and realized I was home things were going to flip sideways right before they turned upside down. So I stood there for a moment, quietly watching him, remembering the life we had before I saw Asanti in that park.

  Then I had a sudden urge to flee, to run and get the hell out of there. I couldn’t hurt them the way I was going to. Just my presence was going to cause problems. My kids were going to wake up and find me there, then have to rush off to school. My husband was going to wake to find me there, then rush off to work.

  My teasing presence was going to throw them off balance, it was going to excite and ruin their whole day. I reopened the bedroom door and risked one last look at my husband. Then I backed out of the room and closed the door behind me. I’d decided then that I was going to wait until the weekend when the kids didn’t have to be at school so soon after my arrival, and when my husband didn’t have to rush off to work so soon after as well.

  As I walked back down the hall I stopped at the entrance to each child’s room. Without stepping in or opening their doors I simply stood there with my hand on the knob, loving them from a distance, loving them behind walls. I was such a coward and that cowardice was hurting my kids, my family. I hung my head in shame as I exited the house.

  I was back at the house I shared with Asanti in minutes. And I was lonely, missing my husband, the first one, and my kids. Wondering why I had chickened out and left. Wondering when I was going to be bold enough to end the madness that was my life. I missed them like crazy. But not for long.

  The ringing of the doorbell shocked me.

  Who could that be? No one knew I was there except my husband, both of them. Ashton wouldn’t come by because he respected my job tremendously and would never do anything to put me at risk of losing it. So it had to be Asanti. He had to have returned unexpectedly. I became excited, giddy. The smile that spread across my face was enormous.

  Ashton and the kids were already forgotten.

  I raced to the door as fast as my legs could carry me and jerked it open, ready to dive into my husband’s arms. But at the door wasn’t the husband I was excitedly expecting. It was the husband I never expected.

  And he looked murderous.

  “I never knew how much I loved you until the day I provided a home for you and the man I knew you were having an affair with,” came Ashton’s baritone voice.

  What. The. Hell.

  My heart fell out of my chest. Just dropped out, rolled down my ribcage, came out of my ass and hit the floor. How in the world did he know? How was I going to respond? No way was I going to agree to anything. I was going to deny everything. I was going to play dumb. I was going to act confused. I was going to lie until my tongue burned and fell out.

  “I… I… I…” I had no words. Couldn’t formulate a sentence. Not a lie, not the truth—which I wasn’t going to tell anyway—not anything. I simply stood there like an imbecile with my mouth open and my jaw rubbing up against my knees. “I… I… I…”

  “Do you think I’m stupid, London?” came Ashton’s voice again.

  “I… I… I’m sorry?”

  It was all I could utter. I couldn’t think. He’d caught me off guard, snuck up on me, threw me way off kilter. I had to stall, to play confused for a moment. I had to come up with something and I had to do it quick. I had to get it together and diffuse the bomb that Ashton had just dropped on me

  But how the hell was I going to do it?

  “You’re not sorry yet,” he said so coldly, so angrily. I just knew he was going to bust me upside the head until my white meat showed. This was not the man I shared more than half of my life with. Not the man I loved and trusted with my life. And he had no reason to be that man when I wasn’t the woman he’d shared that much of his own life with. “But if you don’t make this right you will be,” he said as he pushed the door open, stormed inside of the house I was sharing with my husband, the other one, and slammed it shut so hard the walls rattled. In what seemed like the blink of an eye he had walked behind me.

  I was so terrified that I spun around to face him, now my back was to the door. Ashton was facing me, forcing me backward toward the door he’d just entered. His body was mere inches awa
y, he was lowering his face to mine. “So again I ask you, London, do you think I’m stupid?”

  I backed up until I was against the wood. My pulse throbbed in my neck. My hands began to sweat. My knees shook. My husband placed his arms on either side of me, caging me in. He looked lethal. I just knew I was a dead woman.

  “No Ashton, I don’t think you’re stupid. Not at all.”

  I swallowed hard after answering that question. Deja vu kicked in and I felt like I was with Asanti instead of Ashton. I felt like I was in danger. I blinked my eyes to see if when they opened Asanti would be there instead of Ashton, but as soon as I opened them again, there he was. My husband. The first one. The one I was legally married to. The one I’d betrayed beyond belief.

  And he was still as mad as hell!

  Suddenly I was slightly turned on and realizing that I was sick in the head. My heart raced as my head began to pound. My eyes took him in, drank him in like I was dehydrated after days in the Sahara. Unconsciously I licked my lips, my breathing deepened. He never noticed.

  “Then when are you going to tell me what I already know? What I’ve known since the day you returned from D.C those months ago?”

  “I don’t know what you’re talki—“ he cut me off like a road rage driver in rush hour traffic.

  “If you lie to me, London,” he said in a threatening manner that I had never heard from him. “If you lie to me…”

  He left the sentence lingering, allowed me to finish it in my head, to come to a dangerous conclusion on my own. This was some Freddie Kruger type drama and it scared the hell out of me.

  “Ashton, what’s the matter with you?” That was the best I could come up with. I was stressed, under duress, an absolute and complete mess. And staring into the face of trouble.

  “You are what’s the matter with me,” he said so coldly I started to shiver. Suddenly it felt like the arctic circle in that room. I wanted out. I wanted a coat, a hat, some gloves, thigh high, leather, winter boots, and a way out. “The woman I’ve been married to for the last twenty-five years is having an affair. She’s been living in a house that I provided for her and her lover, a lover I knew existed when I gave her the house. She’s been neglecting her family, ignoring her children, lying to everyone, treating the man who knows her better than anyone else on this earth like he’s a fool. And making herself really sick in the process,” he said as he stepped closer to me. “And all for what? For another man? For the sex? All for what, London?” He stepped closer to me.

  Where the hell was he trying to go? There was nothing but mere inches between us. If he moved any closer he’d be inside of me, we’d be one.

  That’s when it hit me.

  We were one.

  Our vows said that we were one.

  The Bible said that we were one.

  …And they two shall be one flesh.

  What in the world had I done?

  Suddenly I sank to the floor, just slipped through his arms like water and puddled on the floor at his feet. And it wasn’t sickness that had me there. No, not this time. It was the realization that this was about to end. That I could finally put an end to the games and the lies and try to salvage what was left of my life, my family.

  The game was over.

  The jig was up.

  I was finally going to be free of the madness.

  The deep gush of air came from my lungs first. Then the tears. The sobs that shook my body shocked me. I had no idea that I was even crying until the anguished sounds escaped me. I had no idea where the tears came from, but there they were spilling, pouring out of my eyes. It was finally going to be over. I was finally going to stop hurting those I loved and stop the insanity that had become my life. The drama was about to end and in my soul I knew everything would be alright.

  Until I saw Asanti come from the hall and step into the room!

  “I don’t know who the hell you are,” he said as he slowly, methodically approached Ashton, “but you have one second to get the fuck away from my wife!”

  The ominous sound in his voice shook my bladder. I was on my feet in less than a second.

  Ashton swung around with eyes blazing and the look he gave Asanti had me saying a prayer on the spot.

  Our Father, which art in Heaven…

  “Your wife?” Ashton questioned incredulously. Your wife?” He asked again as he looked from Asanti to me and quickly back to Asanti.

  Lord please forgive me of my sins and tresspasses! If I was going to die I needed to be right with God when I did.

  “You heard me,” Asanti spoke slowly, dangerously. He stood tall, masculine, strong. He was braced for battle.

  And please keep us safe from all hurt, harm, and danger! My body was shaking and my nerves were fried and burnt!

  “Yeah?” Ashton questioned with a smile so evil I thought I saw Satan sitting in a corner of that living room shooting dice! “Well, I’ve been married to your wife for the last twenty-five years!” Ashton returned with venom that had to have come from the pits of hell. He too stood tall, masculine, strong. Except he was braced for war.

  And for the first time since I met Asanti I was afraid, not of him, but for him. My usually quiet, peaceful, unassuming husband Ashton looked like a man ready to commit premeditated murder. And he was looking at Asanti like he was the intended victim.

  Slowly, oh so slowly I stepped in front of Ashton, blocking his view of Asanti. With my back to Asanti I quickly started speaking to Ashton. “Baby, I can explain everything! I can explain,” I said as he shot out one arm and simply moved me aside like I was a feather.

  “And he’s the one you owe the explanation to?” Asanti asked in a voice laced with death.

  Quickly I turned to him on legs that felt like Jell-O. “Asanti, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

  The tears fell down my face without me even realizing they were there.

  “And he’s the one you extend the apology to?” Ashton spoke bitterly. “You betray your husband,” he spit that word out like it was poison, “You betray your children—“

  “Children?” Asanti asked, his rage turning to the fires of hell. “You not only have a husband, but you have children, Legaci?”

  Ashton smiled ruefully. “Her name is not Legaci. You have a wife whose name you don’t even know.”

  “And you have a wife who’s married to another man. And you didn’t even know,” Asanti returned with just as much acrimony.

  Ashton took a step forward. Asanti did the same. I remained in the middle. If they were going to fight they were going to have to do it through me. Suddenly something in my head clicked and told me to get my ass out of the way and to do it quickly.

  The source of their anger was me and my actions. My betrayal. The games I had played. The lies I had told. The lives I had ruined. It was nothing for them to whip the sleeves off of me for the position I put them both in. And I was making it easy by being within arm’s reach of them both.

  But I didn’t run, instead I stood my ground.

  “Fighting isn’t going to solve anything,” I risked speaking. “This is my fault. I did this,” I said as a fear ripped through me and gripped me by the soul. That’s when I turned to the side and was able to get a good look at them both as I spoke. “Ashton, he had no idea I was married. I never told him anything about me. Not even my real name,” I said as I looked at Asanti shamefully, sorrowfully. “And I lied to Ashton about you, Asanti. I told him I was working undercover on a story that was dangerous and needed to be away from my family to keep them from danger.”

  Neither man said a word, only continued looking at one another.

  Until Asanti spoke harshly and with a wicked smile. “Only a simple minded fool would believe such a lame lie.”

  “That’s a funny joke,” Ashton said as I saw his body tense and prepare for what he was about to do.

  My chest began to hurt because I knew what was coming.

  “Not as funny as it was when your wife spread her legs and gave herself to me
like she had been in desperate need of good fucking for years.”

  Oh Lawddd whyyyyy? Why did Asanti have to say that?

  That’s when they went for one another, when Ashton drew first blood and sent Asanti staggering back in stunned silence. But Asanti came back with power and force and the two locked into battle like two wildebeests locked horns.

  They fought and fought and tried to kill one another.

  With me stuck in the middle.

  “Ashton! Asanti!” I shouted as they threw blows, above me, below me, all around me. “Stop it!” I screamed like a crazed banshee when I heard jaws cracking and fists landing punches mere inches from me. “Stop it!”

  They were going crazy and I was stuck in the middle of the madness, madness of my creating. Suddenly my heart began to race, my head began to ache, the room spun like a spinning top and before I could help myself, all I could see was black right before I remembered nothing.

  When I came to I was stunned to find that I was in Ashton’s arms. Everything that happened came back to me in an instant and I was struggling to get back on me feet in a heartbeat.

  “Tell this gentleman goodbye,” Ashton said to me when he had lowered me safely to the floor and allowed me to stand on my own.

  I looked from one man to the other, noticed that they both bore war wounds, but clearly saw that Asanti had taken a beating. It broke my heart to see him hurt, yet it stunned me to see that my normally quiet, unassuming husband, the legal one, had emerged victorious.

  “I…” I began, but found that it was more difficult than I originally thought it would be to hurt Asanti in such a way.

  I looked to Ashton and then to Asanti and remained quiet.

  “What do you want to do, Legaci?” Asanti asked me with a dangerous edge to his question.

  “If you have any desire to save this marriage, London, you will walk out of here with me right now. You will leave this man alone, never have anything to do with him again, and you’ll come home to your husband and your children.”