by Regine Abel
I scrolled down the rest of the study, but there was nothing else on the topic. Frustrated, I chewed my bottom lip, reflecting on that paragraph. It raised more questions than it answered. What was the training? What happened to the soul of the deceased if it wasn’t absorbed? Could the survivor choose not to absorb his other half to keep his current personality? What would be the consequences? Was there a time limit to perform the merger? Could a third party act as the bridge?
“Oh, I’m sorry!”
A squeak of surprise escaped me at the unexpected voice. I jumped to my feet, a hand pressed to my chest, and gaped at the attractive juvenile standing in the doorway of Zhul’s office. Her long ebony hair and forest-green eyes gave her away as his little sister, Lelah. How did I not hear the proximity warning when she walked up to the house?
“I didn’t mean to intrude. Zhul said there wouldn’t be anyone home today so, I…”
Her voice choked in her throat. Eyes widening, her mortified expression abruptly turned into one of pure horror.
“Lelah?” I asked, unnerved by her reaction.
Her gaze glided down my shoulders, along my arms, and down my legs. She shook her head in denial. Lips quivering, she leaned on the doorframe for support. The gift box she held slipped out of her hand and fell to the floor with a loud thud.
What in the Goddess’ name is going on?
“No, Zhul… no,” she whispered, her eyes welling up. “He promised. He swore he had nothing to do with it.”
She thinks he’s involved in the Blood Houses!
“Lelah,” I said, approaching her slowly as if she was a scared animal, “I don’t know what Zhul promised you, but he’s my friend. He’s my only friend.”
“Y–your friend?” she asked, “N–not your jailer?”
“No, sweetheart. He’s trying to help me.”
She took in a shuddering breath, her eyes filled with hope and confusion.
“But you’re Veredian…”
“Yes,” I said, standing in front of her. “The same male who owned Seha Amalia used to be my master. I have a new one now and Zhul is trying to help free me and the other females in the last Blood House.”
“Really?” Her distress gave way to wonder as she wiped her cheeks with the heels of her hands. She sniffed, trying to regain her composure.
I nodded and smiled. “Really. Zhul is the most amazing male I have ever met.”
She smiled back, her shoulders dropping with relief. “He’s my big brother. He’s always been so good to me. But there have been so many rumors and when I saw you here…”
“I know, sweetheart,” I said, boldly taking the risk of caressing her cheek. She didn’t balk at the contact. “But believe me, before I met him that day you were looking for your neption, I had lost any hope of ever being free.”
Lelah pulled her shoulders back and lifted her chin. At that moment, her resemblance to Zhul was unmistakable.
“I will help you too. The Dervhen siblings will set you and the other females free.”
My smile broadened. She was adorable. I bent down to pick up the gift box and handed it back to her.
“My name is Valena. Pleased to meet you.”
“Mine is Lelah, but you knew that already,” she said scrunching her face.
“Yes. That’s because Zhul often speaks about you. He loves you very much.”
Lelah’s cheeks darkened, and she shrugged her embarrassment. “I love him, too. That’s why I was sneaking in to bring him this,” she said lifting up the box. “He turns twenty-eight tomorrow.”
My jaw dropped. “I didn’t know,” I whispered.
“Not surprising. If he had his way, we wouldn’t even acknowledge it. But—”
“Lelah?” Nhed’s voice called from the hallway.
Baffled, I heard the soft sound of the front door closing.
“What’s wrong with the proximity detector?” I muttered to myself.
“Oh Goddess, it’s my father!” Lelah whispered, her voice thick with tension. “You must hide!”
I shook my head. “It’s ok. He knows about me.”
She recoiled, eyes bugged. “He does?”
“Lelah,” Nhed called out again as he stepped into the office. “You know—”
His voice trailed off when his gaze fell on me. He stared at me, lips parted. Swallowing hard, he looked at Lelah, a troubled expression on his face.
“You know Zhul doesn’t want us coming to his house.” Although chastising, his voice was gentle addressing her. “He has a lot of pressure right now. We shouldn’t upset him.”
Eyes cast down, she bit her bottom lip. “I was just bringing him his present. No one was supposed to be home.”
“I know, but there’s a reason he asked us to stay away.” His swift glance in my direction spoke volumes. “Go on ahead, I’ll see you back at the house.”
“Yes, Father.” She placed the gift box on Zhul’s desk and walked toward the door. “Goodbye, Valena. It was nice meeting you.”
“The pleasure was all mine.”
We exchanged a smile and she left. My gaze drifted back to Nhed. I wasn’t worried or scared in his presence. What little I’d glimpsed from his mind the first time we met showed me enough; Nhed was a good man who had lost his way. His pain and self-contempt had been heartbreaking.
He cleared his throat. “Seha Valena, I didn’t realize you were now in this house. I’m pleased to see you’re well.”
“Thank you, Sehr. Zhul found us by accident at that house and didn’t want me living there. He’s been taking very good care of me since.”
A sliver of fear flickered through his eyes. “T–that’s good,” he said.
I gave him a reassuring smile. “Zhul doesn’t know you were ever there.”
Nhed exhaled loudly, his shoulders sagging. My heart broke for the handsome older male. I shouldn’t meddle, yet both he and Zhul were in too much pain over their ruined relationship.
“Won’t you sit with me for a moment?” I asked, gesturing at the couch.
He cast a glance through the window and scratched the back of his head. “I don’t know if I should. Zhul—”
“…won’t be home for a few more hours,” I interrupted, my steps determined as I walked to the couch.
After sitting down, I patted the place next to me. I held his gaze until he lowered his. With heavy steps, he approached me then sagged onto the couch. Eyes still cast down, Nhed opened and closed his mouth a few times. He stole a few glances at me before finally working up the courage to speak.
“I’m sorry for my part in your… situation.”
Normally, I should hate him and anyone involved in the slaver’s ring. Yet, I felt nothing but pity for him.
“You didn’t know how they were going to use your help,” I said.
“No, I didn’t.” He looked at me with glistening eyes. “On my honor, what little of it remains, I never would have accepted had I known what they intended.”
I gave him a sad smile. “I believe you. I forgive you.”
He inhaled sharply and bowed his head. I quietly watched him wring his hands.
“I wish I could forgive myself as easily,” he mumbled, as if to himself. He faced me and studied my features. “Zhul is a good male. He doesn’t deserve all the pain I’ve put him through.”
“You don’t deserve all the pain you’re putting yourself through,” I countered.
He gaped at me. I let it sink in for a minute.
“Do you love your mate?”
Nhed recoiled and his face shut down. “Of course I do.” His tone was clipped.
“Why do you love her?”
He frowned and looked at me as if I was a strange creature. “What kind of question is that?”
“A simple one. What about her makes you love her?”
He stared at me for a moment, at a loss for words.
“She… She’s the mother of my children.”
“Yes. But that’s only a function.” I tilted my head,
holding back on the need to touch him and read his thoughts. I needed to pick the right moment so he wouldn’t balk. “Do you love her because of the way she takes care of them? Loves them? Puts their needs before hers?”
His frown deepened and a muscle twitched at his temple. “I’m not sure I like this line of questioning. What is the point?”
“I love my mother because she made me feel special,” I said, ignoring his question. “She always made time for me, told me stories to make me laugh or cheer me up when I was sad. Whenever I got hurt, she made it better. She hugged me, kissed me, and tucked me in at night. I never wondered if I was loved because she showed me every day in countless ways. That included making sure my belly was full and chastising me when I did bad things. I loved her because even being slaves in a breeding compound, she did all she could to make me happy. So I ask you again, why do you love your mate?”
He made as if to get up. I grabbed his wrist and planted the command ‘stay’ in his mind. Blinking, he complied. His gaze wandered to my hand still holding him but he said nothing.
“Please,” I said softly. “I’m not trying to offend you.”
“I’ve done everything I knew to make her happy.”
“Yes, you have. But love is a two-way street. It can’t be one person giving and the other taking.”
“It is my duty to provide my mate with all she needs.”
“What a person wants often isn’t what they need,” I argued. “But your duty isn’t only to your mate. You have a duty to your offspring and to yourself.”
He scrubbed his face with his hand. “We used to be so happy, and then…”
His voice trailed off, a faraway look dawning on his face. Images of his former self – young, happy, and confident – flooded through his mind. The expression on his mate’s face as she looked at him back then contained respect and pride. But as the memories flashed through, her gaze slowly lost all warmth, hardened, then filled with contempt. The more disdain she showed him, the harder he tried to regain her affection by complying with her increasingly unreasonable demands.
“Would that happy, young male you once were agree with the way you live now?”
He shook his head, exhaling a pained sigh. “That young male is long gone. It’s too late for him now.”
“It’s never too late to remember who you are and to start loving yourself again.”
On some level, what I was about to do was wrong. But looking through his thoughts at the damage his mate had caused him and his family, I couldn’t allow it to continue. Although I wanted to tell him to kick her out of his life and forget any feelings he ever felt for her, I forced myself to leave him some free will in this mess. Instead, I planted the thought ‘love yourself again and act accordingly.’
I slowly released his wrist. Nhed blinked as if waking from a dream.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to pry or preach,” I said, giving him what I hoped came across as a contrite smile.
Nhed rubbed his chevron-shaped brow ridges, identical to Zhul’s. “Please, do not apologize. You have given me much to think about. However, the hour draws late. My son wouldn’t appreciate finding me here. Would you—”
“I won’t lie to Zhul or keep secrets from him,” I interrupted, guessing what he intended to ask.
Liar.
I didn’t need my conscience reminding me how much trouble I was in.
And digging that hole deeper, too.
He nodded. “Of course. That is wise.”
We both stood and he studied my face once again.
“I hope things can be sorted out soon for you. For all of you,” Nhed said. “My son is a good male. He deserves some happiness. You all do.”
Hand on his heart, he bowed his head before walking out.
CHAPTER 12
Zhul
The flight home without Valena felt endless. Multiple times, I found myself jiggling my leg or tapping my fingers in my eagerness to see her and be with her again. The intensity of my feelings for her scared me.
I always believed it should take months, or even years, for two people to know each other enough to commit for life. Hence, I never understood why Primes, and to a lesser extent, Norms, entered the Fastening Selection blindly. Why bind the rest of your life to a complete stranger after a thirty-minute conversation? We had our whole life before us without the threat of the Taint looming over our heads. Most human and Avean Pearls that attended came only for Primes. If they failed to secure one during the Selection, they usually remained on Xelix Prime. With the help of Family Welfare, they were privately introduced to available Primes until they found a match. So what was the hurry?
Yet, as I landed the shuttle and made my way to the house, all I could think was how much I wanted Valena to claim me. We had only known each other a week, but if she spoke the Fastening words to me, I would accept without hesitation.
And that worried me.
The details of her past remained a mystery to me. Even her actual role with V wasn’t quite clear. Every time I broached the topic, she tensed and seemed uncomfortable, even ashamed. I didn’t want to cause her any distress, so I dropped it. But it further highlighted that I didn’t know much about Valena or her people. I only knew how I felt being with her.
Once again, she greeted me at the door. Barefoot, long hair cascading down her voluptuous body clad in a flowy white dress, she was a vision of perfection. She threw herself into my arms. Our teeth clashed as our mouths collided in a hungry kiss. My hands slipped to her bum and lifted her up. Valena wrapped her arms and legs around me. Without breaking the kiss, I carried her down the corridor with no specific destination in mind.
Valena fumbled with my shirt, pulling it out of my pants and the scorching heat of her palms covered the naked skin of my back. My cock jerked in response. It thickened and lengthened as Valena rubbed herself against me. Pausing mid-stride, I turned and pressed her back against the wall. Breaking the kiss, I sucked on her bottom lip then covered her jawline with gentle nips. Her markings darkened as my tongue traced the elegant pattern from her neck down the gentle curve of her shoulders.
“Zhul…”
She uttered my name in a strangled whisper followed by a deep moan. She tilted her head back against the wall, exposing her neck to my wandering mouth. I sucked on the pulse there, and she dug her nails into my back. The blissful sting sent a surge of pleasure straight to my balls. I stroked my throbbing cock against her core.
“Yes. Faster,” she said, raking her nails down my back.
I half-hissed, half-growled as I reclaimed her mouth. Happy to comply, I picked up the pace, grinding my groin against her heat. Small drops of sweat tickled my forehead, while a raging fire built in my belly. Valena jerked in my arms; she was close. I sped up the movement further, my hands on her butt pressing her harder on my cock. I swallowed her scream as her body shook under the spasms of release. Seconds later, lightning struck the base of my spine and exploded through me in a constellation of electric shocks throughout my body.
My legs shook and I almost sagged against her. I put a hand on the wall to help keep me – us – up. She lowered her legs and embraced me.
“Wow,” I said, struggling to catch my breath. “You sure know how to welcome your male home.”
She giggled and hid her face in my neck.
“It’s a little late to be shy, love,” I teased, gently.
Her teeth chomped on my neck, not hard enough to mark, but sufficient for me – and my cock – to stand up and take notice.
“Ow!” I said, with false outrage, while blood rushed back to my groin.
She looked up at me, a self-satisfied grin on her face. “I’ll be shy if I want to.”
I don’t want you to be shy. I’m yours for the taking.
She licked her lips. Something akin to hesitation flickered in her eyes before they took an emboldened glint.
“And I’ll be bold when I want to,” she said, grabbing my cock and giving it a squeeze.
My breath rushed out of me. I had not seen that coming, but I fucking loved it. Holding her by the nape, I pulled her face towards mine, our lips inches apart. She held my stare, hers challenging, then fisted my hair with her other hand hard enough to sting. I moaned as she rubbed her palm over my cock.
“You are mine, Zhul Dervhen.”
Goddess, she’s perfect.
Despite my recent climax, I felt myself harden again beneath her touch.
“Yes. I am yours.”
Valena smiled and pulled my head down towards hers. Our kiss was slow and tender. There was no more question now that she owned me. Soon, I hoped, she would make it official. She shivered then released me. For a brief instant, I thought she appeared troubled. Then she looked at my crotch with a mocking smile playing on her lips.
“Someone made a bit of a mess,” she said.
I chuckled in embarrassment at the wet stain on my white pants and shirt.
“It’s your fault.”
“Absolutely,” she grinned.
“You’re a menace.” I kissed her forehead then headed for the stairs. “I needed to shower anyway. Think about what you’re in the mood to eat,” I said over my shoulder, “and I’ll see what I can do about it.”
Climbing the stairs two steps at a time, I made a beeline for my bedroom. I gave it a cursory glance and for the first time wondered what a female would think of it. More specifically, what Valena would think.
Plain, colorless, and boring.
I wasn’t a clean freak but liked things orderly and functional. Functional… that perfectly described my bedroom. White walls, white floor tiles, a large bed, a wide dresser and work desk summarized the contents of my room. At least, the furniture was dark grey.
They would have been white had that color not been on back order.
Goddess, they would indeed have been white. Until now, I’d never realized how empty the large space was. The pale color made it look even bigger. With a sigh, I entered the spacious walk-in closet built with his and hers sections in the eventuality I took a mate. It opened up to the bathroom. Again, more gleaming white walls and floors greeted me in both areas.