Isle of Hope

by Julie Lessman

  “But …?” Nicki popped up. Her look torched a hole in Lacey’s composure.

  Venting with a noisy exhale, Lacey sat up and snatched her mug of ice water, glugging a few swallows before she poured some in her hand to pat on her face and neck. “Come on, Nick, what’s with all the ‘buts’?” She set her water aside to tilt her face to the sun, arms braced behind her as if she hadn’t a care in the world. “I like Chase, I do—he’s a lot of fun.”

  “Ohhhhhhh no you don’t, kiddo.” Nicki said. “You’re not going to sidetrack me that easily, so let me be perfectly clear in case you’re hoping to weasel out with some lame response.” Swinging her legs to the patio, she perched on the edge of her chaise, head ducked as she peered up at Lacey with a gaze so potent it made Lacey squirm. “Do-you-like Chase?”

  “Yes, of course ...” Lacey’s words tumbled out in a rush, her mind desperate to derail a conversation she did not want to have. “Didn’t you hear what I just—”

  “Enough-to-date-him?” Nicki interrupted, each syllable clipped like a threat.

  Lacey rolled her eyes, lips thinning to wry. “Has anyone ever told you you’re a really pushy person?”

  “Matt. Daily. Don’t change the subject.” She flicked a fly off her shoulder, eyes welded to Lacey’s with soldering precision. “Enough to date him?”

  “Well … sure …” she said slowly, barely able to get the words out for the gulp in her throat. She flopped back on the chaise and shut her eyes, wishing she could shut out her cousin as well. She swallowed hard, her voice barely audible. “Someday.”

  “Someday …?” Nicki’s tone rose several octaves, continuing the climb to near-shriek. “What the heck is that supposed to mean, Lace—‘someday’? What’s wrong with ‘now’?”

  Eyelids barely lifting, Lacey snuck a peek Nicki’s way, quite sure her cousin would give her nothing but grief over what she was about to say. “I’m just not sure it’s such a good idea to date him right now, that’s all.”

  Nicki’s jaw dropped like it’d been greased with 10w40. “Oh. My. Gosh.” She slumped back on the chaise. “It’s O’Bryen, isn’t it? You still have feelings for him.”

  A groan slipped from Lacey’s lips. “Oh, for crying out loud, Nick, of course I have feelings for Jack!” She shimmied further into the chaise, burrowing in like it was a bunker, ready to hold her ground. “We were closer than air and I was going to marry the man, for heaven’s sake. But that’s all in the past now, and all I want is to maintain an amiable friendship, for both my sake and yours.” Her mood drooped at the unlikely notion of mere friendship with a man who still stirred her, both body and soul.

  She inhaled deeply, hoping to fill her lungs with confidence as well as with air. After all, she could do anything for two months, right? Her eyelids flipped up. Couldn’t she? She chewed on the edge of her lip, eyes begging Nicki to understand. “Come on, Nick, the way I hurt him when I left years ago, it almost feels as if … well, as if dating Chase right now would be rubbing salt in the wound, you know?”

  “Are you kidding me?” Nicki gaped in protest. “Matt says Jack’s out with a different woman every other night, and we’re talking way more than a kiss at the door. And you’re worried about dating a pastor who’ll help get you over that loser ex in San Diego?”

  Lacey winced, the thought of Jack involved with other women finding its mark. Unbidden, she felt the sting of moisture at the back of her eyes. Hate to tell you this, Nick, but it’s not the ex in San Diego I need to get over …

  Scooting to the edge of her seat, Nicki reached to give Lacey’s hand a gentle squeeze. “Look, Lace, I know you want to move on with your life, and I thought we agreed that dating a decent guy would help you do that?”

  Lacey opened one eye to a slit. “You agreed, not me, until you badgered me nonstop the first week I arrived.”

  “Yes I did,” Nicki conceded with a sharp nod, “but only because I love you and as a nurse, I know what’s best for you.”

  The edge of Lacey’s mouth quirked. “Oh, so now I’m a medical problem?”

  Nicki wrinkled her nose, teasing with a rasp of air through clenched teeth. “Actually, it’s more of a mental problem, Lace, but don’t worry—I did a rotation in psych, so we’re good.”

  “Oh, real funny, Nurse Ratchet.” Lacey flicked water from her mug at her cousin before her grin tapered off into a sad smile. “But to be honest, I’d say it’s more of a heart problem,” she said quietly, thinking of all the hearts she’d broken and needed to mend.

  Nicki pushed a toe against Lacey’s hip, rocking the chaise as well as her cousin’s body. “Well, cheer up, kiddo—I just happen to have the name of a great cardiologist who might even give you a family discount …”

  “Ouch,” Lacey said with a scrunch of shoulders. “Low blow, Phillips.”

  “Sorry, cuz, but now that we’re on the subject …” Nicki adjusted her chaise to sitting position and plopped back, sympathy softening her gaze. “Have you given any thought as to when or where you’re going to approach your dad, otherwise known as Memorial’s Dr. Snark?”

  A harsh chuckle erupted from Lacey’s throat. “Only every day,” she said, clicking her chaise into position to sit up like Nicki. “And then my stomach gets nauseous and I break out in a cold sweat.” She released a heavy sigh. “So I pop a couple of Tums, take a shower, and pray like crazy that I can buck up and face the fear.”

  Nicki tipped her head, confusion reigning over her sea of freckles. “You know, Lace, I remember all the blow-outs you had with your dad in high school and the night he kicked you out of the house, of course, before you left Isle of Hope. And there’s no question he changed for the worse after you and your mom left, but … to be honest, growing up, Uncle Ben always struck me as a pretty decent guy.”

  “Ha!” Lacey shifted on the chaise. “That’s because he wouldn’t dare give the cold shoulder to relatives or friends—he was a ‘pillar of the community,’ you know. But Mom and me?” She wrinkled her nose. “Most of the time it was like living in an ice palace with occasional thaws until Mom and he would go at it again, and then he was a ‘pillar’ all right, with a heart of stone to match.”

  “That’s so odd,” Nicki said, nose scrunched as her eyes narrowed in thought. “All I ever remember are things like Uncle Ben cuddling you whenever we watched movies on vacation or you sitting on his lap in the boat with that goofy grin whenever he’d let you steer. I mean, I know you two got into some awful rows, but you always seemed fine at family get-togethers and vacations, you know?”

  Yes, she knew. Those wonderful pinpricks of light and love when she actually thought her dad had cared, only to be snuffed out when Mom or she had triggered his ire. And then gone altogether when she started dating boys, his disappointment in her becoming more real than his love, as if she had betrayed him by growing up into a woman.

  “I thought so too,” she said quietly, “which is why it hurt all the more when he shut me and Mom out of his life, like we weren’t worth the trouble to love.” Her laugh was bitter. “Our relationship pretty much sank into the bottom of the river after that, especially when he called me a whore and kicked me out of the house.”

  Her shoulders slumped at just how impossibly difficult reconciliation with her father would be, especially since she’d been the one who rejected him after her mother died, too poisoned by bitterness to give him another chance.

  “Although he’s never come out and said it, deep down I think he blames me for the way our lives turned out,” she whispered, unable to keep the quiver from her voice. Moisture smarted in her eyes when the familiar ache of rejection reared its head, a specter that had followed her around since she’d been small, when Daddy was never around. Medical school, residency, and a new practice saw to that, leaving Mom and her the dregs of a man they only wanted to love.

  “Everything?” Disbelief coated Nicki’s tone.

  Lacey expelled a cumbersome sigh. “That’s the feeling I’ve always had—from the arg
uments he had with Mom while I was growing up, to her affair with Jack’s dad, and then finally Mom’s death.” She looked over at Nicki with a sheen of moisture. “It’s all the culmination of something I’ve felt from little on, Nick—my dad just didn’t like me.”

  Nicki shook her head. “I’m sorry, Lace, I just don’t believe that, at least not growing up. I wasn’t around much in the early years when we lived in California, I know, but whenever our families vacationed together, Uncle Ben seemed to fawn over you. It wasn’t until we moved back to Isle of Hope after Mom died that I noticed the strain between you two.”

  Head cocked, Lacey gave it some thought. “The vacations were wonderful, as I recall, but it always seemed like once Daddy got back home, work consumed all of his time, and we seldom saw that loving side of him.” Her gaze trailed into Mamaw’s yard while her mind trailed into the past, heart weighted with so much grief and guilt over a father she didn’t fully understand. “And then the moment boys started noticing me—whoa!—he morphed into this browbeating tyrant, lecturing me on morality so much that I all I wanted to do was defy, defy, defy!”

  Nicki grunted her agreement. “And then I moved back—the she-devil from California—and all hell broke loose.”

  A grin surfaced on Lacey’s face. “Yeah, but it was you who saved my life by master-minding the seduction of one Jackson Alexander O’Bryen, remember? A California makeover that helped open the eyes of the hottest senior in high school so he would know I was alive.”

  “Oh, I’m pretty sure he always knew you were alive, Lace—you were his sisters’ best friend, after all, always underfoot.” She winked. “I just made sure his hormones knew you were alive.”

  Lacey laughed, helping to dispel the malaise that had settled inside. “You were a freakin’ miracle worker, Nurse Phillips, turning my lost and lonely teen years into endless summers I will never forget.”

  “Yeah, I know,” she said with a droll smile. “That’s the problem, Ms. Carmichael—you need to forget those summers, or at least the guy who made them endless.” She cocked a russet brow. “Trust me, Jack certainly has. I’m pretty sure he’s not thinking about you when he wines, dines, and heaven knows what else half the nurses at Memorial, so why should you?”

  Lacey blinked, Nicki’s reminder of Jack’s current lifestyle jabbing deeper than she liked. There was no question Jack had moved on with his life, and maybe Nicki was right. Maybe it was time for her to do the same.

  “I guess you have a point,” Lacey said, expelling a weary breath that deflated her good mood.

  “You bet I do, and it’s not on my head like yours when it comes to Jack O’Bryen.”

  “Okay, okay, ‘point’ taken, and no pun intended.” She secured a loose strand of hair with a bobby pin and sat back with eyes closed, allowing the sun to work its magic in melting some of her concerns away. “So, yes, I will go out with Chase if he asks me, but only when Jack’s not around and only if Chase cools it in group settings when he is.” Her chin notched up to signify her mind was made up. “I refuse to flaunt another guy in front of my old boyfriend, at least until after the wedding. By then I’m praying our friendship will be comfortably casual and remote.”

  “I suppose that’s fair enough,” Nicki said with approval. “So … that’s one of two problems resolved.”

  Lacey lifted her head to stare at her cousin, face in a bunch. “And what’s the other?”

  The edge of Nicki’s lip crooked. “Duh, Einstein—your dad?”

  A slow grind of a groan rattled from Lacey’s throat as her head plunked back. “Don’t remind me.”

  “Well, somebody has to before Mamaw sets you down for ‘the talk.’”

  The talk. Lacey couldn’t help the squirm of a smile, quite sure she and Nick had heard ‘the talk’ dozens of times over the years.

  “My lands, girls, grudges hurt you more than the person you refuse to forgive, so you may as well get it over with so we can enjoy our popcorn and a movie. Remember, the devil is just a spit away, looking to ruin our evening, so what’s it gonna be?”

  “I know,” Lacey said with a sigh, “I’ve been waiting for her to say something since it’s been two weeks already, and I haven’t made a move yet.”

  “Well, she’s getting ready to, I promise. She’s already asked me twice now if you’ve said anything about contacting your dad, and she had that hell-or-high-water look she gets, you know when she gums her lips till they disappear and her eyes burn like a laser?”

  Lacey smiled. “Oh, yeah, I’ve actually had nightmares about that look, not to mention the heaping-coals talk, so I suppose I’ll need to do something soon. Although at the moment, Mamaw’s burning look sounds a whole lot better than frostbite, which is what I’m up against with Daddy when he freezes me out.”

  “Ah, yes, the good old ‘heaping-coals concept,’” Nicki said with a sage nod of her head, “killing them with kindness.” She shot Lacey a wicked grin. “I always did like that Biblical principal, especially envisioning my enemy’s hair on fire.”

  Lacey chuckled. “Yep, I’ve charred a few heads myself when I was younger, but I doubt that was what Mamaw had in mind.”

  “You know, Lace,” Nicki said, her gaze suddenly pensive, “maybe your dad won’t freeze you out. I mean, eight years is a long time for a man to mellow, so maybe he’s ready to make amends too.”

  “Ha! When you-know-what freezes over,” she said with a twist of her lips. “‘Freeze’ being the operative word. Especially since I did the same to him after Mom’s funeral, refusing to answer his calls, emails, and letters, even being snotty enough to return all envelopes unopened, just for spite.” She shook her head. “No, Nick, this confrontation with Daddy will be the hardest thing I’ve ever done and chillier than taking a dip in an Antarctica ice pond.” An involuntary shiver iced her spine. “Brrr … turns me blue just to think about it.”

  A low-throated chuckle rumbled from Nicki’s mouth as she angled toward the sun, a smug look on her face. “Well, then I guess it’s a real good thing you’re into the Bible these days, Alycia Anne, isn’t it?” She opened one eye to give Lacey a smirk, making her laugh when she attempted a wink. “Lots of lovely coals to keep you nice and warm.”

  Chapter Thirteen

  “Hey, wait a minute …” Jack paused with great drama, head angled as he placed the stethoscope below five-year-old Tyler Foster’s chest, eyes squeezed tight while listening to the little boy’s lungs. “Did you have animal crackers for lunch, because I hear a lion growling in there.”

  Tyler giggled and shook his head, glancing at his mom who sat in a chair across the room, his little sister Sophie tucked on her lap with a thumb in her mouth.

  Jack tousled his hair. “Well, okay then. I think you’ll be good as new in a few days, Ty, as long as Mom feeds you plenty of popsicles, Jell-O, yogurt, and ice cream to soothe that sore throat, okay?”

  A mischievous grin skimmed across Tyler’s lips while Jack rolled back on his stool, arms folded across his white jacket to address his last patient for the day. “Just one thing left to take care of, then, sport—you want a dinosaur, teddy bear or giraffe?”

  The little boy stared wide-eyed, the flush in his face deepening from something other than fever. “What do you mean?” he asked, hope in his eyes coaxing a soft smile to Jack’s lips.

  Sending a wink Sophie’s way, Jack fished two balloons out of his coat pocket and held them up. “I mean that not only do I have a degree in medicine, Mister Ty,” he said in his deepest doctor voice, “but I have a degree in balloon animals as well, so you and little sis over there each get to pick one.”

  Sophie—all of three maybe—grinned up at her mother before she offered Jack a shy smile, confirming for the one hundredth time that day that he had chosen the right profession. Even after thirty patients, he felt more energized now than he had with his first exam of the day, handling everything from well visits and immunizations, to pinkeye and the flu.

  “Okay, Ty, how ’bout you pic
k first, then I’ll give Sophie a turn, all right?”

  “Cool! Can I have a dinosaur?” Tyler said, jiggling his legs while they dangled over the edge of the examination table.

  “You bet.” Jack went to work, fingers flying until a purple dinosaur appeared, eliciting a gasp from the little girl’s mouth.

  “Wow, that’s way cool!” Tyler held it up, examining the dinosaur from every angle.

  “What do you say to Dr. Jack, Tyler?” Mrs. Foster prodded her son with a kind smile.

  “Thank you, Dr. Jack,” he promptly said, never taking his eyes off the dinosaur.

  “You’re more than welcome, Tyler. And how ’bout you, Soph?” Jack rolled over to Sophie, stretching a pink balloon while he assessed her with a quizzical smile. “You know, I think you may just be a teddy bear kind of girl, what do you think?”

  Laying her head on her mom’s chest, she nodded slowly, a trace of a smile blooming behind the thumb in her mouth.

  “All righty, then …” Jack twisted and turned the balloon in record time, creating a pink teddy bear that coaxed a grin to her face. Reaching back in his pocket, he pulled out a pink ribbon with hearts and tied a tiny bow around the bear’s neck, giving Tyler a wink over his shoulder. “Gotta have a bow, of course, since this is a girl bear, you know.” He handed the bear to Sophie and grinned outright when she dropped the thumb from her mouth to grasp the bear with both hands, a look of wonder lighting her face.

  “Sophie …? What do you say?”

  “Thank you,” the little angel whispered, and Jack swallowed a lump of emotion, almost feeling guilty for taking a paycheck.

  “You’re welcome, Sophie.” He lightly tapped her nose before retrieving his prescription pad to write Mrs. Foster a scrip for Tyler. He handed it to her along with two small packets of yogurt raisins. “To feed the balloon animals, of course, when they get hungry.”

  “Of course,” she said with a broad smile. “Thank you so much.” She rose with Sophie in her arms, latching a good-sized sack purse over her shoulder. “You know, I’m almost ashamed to admit this, but I was a bit worried when they told me Tyler’s regular pediatrician was out sick.” She shook her head, a smile breaking free. “But I have to say, Doctor, you’re wonderful!”