Isle of Hope

by Julie Lessman

  Lacey paddled toward Cat while she bit back a smile, thinking that when it came to stubbornness, that was pretty much the buffalo fish calling the carp fishy.

  “Shan!” Cat’s voice held a definite plea. “Let the ladder down, please!”

  Brows knit in sympathy, Shannon squatted at the edge of the dock, sporting the squirm of a smile despite the empathy in her tone. “Gosh, Cat, I really wish I could, but you know what a bully Jack can be. Goodness, I’d be as wet as you if I crossed him.”

  Jack hunkered alongside Shan and looped an arm to her shoulders, a flash of teeth gleaming white in a bronzed face too darn handsome for his own good. And Lacey’s. “Obviously the smart twin in the family,” he said with a wink in Lacey’s direction, earning a tsunami-style dousing when Cat hissed and slashed water their way. His laughter bounced over the waves. “Gosh, Shan, I can’t tell if she’s mad as a wet hen or drowning, can you?”

  Shannon chuckled. “A little of both, I think.”

  A swear word sizzled the air when Cat kicked away from the dock, arms slicing through the water while she swam for the shore.

  “Uh, Shan …” Tone casual, Jack squinted toward the murky waters of the grassy shore. “Where did Matt see that nest of water moccasins last week?”

  Cat’s arms rippled still in the water, the pink shadows of dusk settling all around.

  “Not sure, but somewhere between our dock and that boulder where the stargazer fish stung you last month, remember?”

  “Oh, yeah, that was painful as I recall. I wouldn’t be caught dead over there again.”

  “I’ll—show—you—dead,” Cat rasped, grinding out another questionable word that bordered on breathless.

  Lacey took a quick dive to smother another chuckle, afraid she wouldn’t be able to stop. When she surged from the water, Cat was heading her way, obviously in an effort to reach the shore on the other side of the dock. Limbs taut, she silently paddled in place as Cat approached.

  “Get out of my way,” Cat hissed, and in one angry swish of water, it all came rushing back with a slow curve of Lacey’s lips. The reason that Catherine Marie O’Bryen had been her best friend from the time they were small. When Lacey had first spotted her on their dock, shrieking at the top of her lungs while she barreled into the river, Lacey knew she liked her. A year younger than Lacey, Cat had been fearless and fun and so full of adventure that Lacey had formed an immediate bond with the twins next door, the three of them as tight as the Three Stooges. And almost as crazy. At least Cat and her. Whether hiding Jack’s underwear in the freezer and toads in his bed, or drawing magic marker hearts on his basketball with initials of his latest crush, Cat became Lacey’s twin as much as Shan’s. As fiery and fervent as Shan was sweet and shy, Cat had a passion for life that rivaled Lacey’s own, giving them a special connection. But it had been Lacey—older, bolder, more athletic and well-to-do—who had been the leader, quickly winning Cat’s respect.

  Lacey issued a silent grunt. But not anymore … “Make me,” she said with a feisty dare in her eyes, well aware the only way to deal with Cat O’Bryen was to fight fire with fire. Or dunk with dunk. She lunged, taking Cat under with a masterful push that sank them both deep beneath the swirling sea, a watery free-fall that erupted in a tangle of arms, legs, and fingers itching for hanks of hair.

  They both launched from the water like cannon fire, water sluicing off their bodies as they wrestled, rabid sea nymphs snarling and twisting in a dance to the death, be it feud or friendship. “How-’bout-I-make-you wish-you-never-came-home, you little witch—” Cat dove for a fistful hair that pulled the pin in Lacey’s grenade with a bloodcurdling shriek.

  With an unnatural burst of power, Lacey twisted free and locked Cat from behind with an arm to her neck, yanking her flush against her heaving body. “Say it!” she rasped.

  “Never!” Cat barely got it out for her wheezing, fingernails gouging into Lacey’s arm.

  Lacey tightened her hold with a grin as steely as her will. “Definitely the stupid twin,” she said with a grunt, her chuckle harsh against Cat’s ear. “When you gonna learn, O’Bryen?” With a tenacity forged in purpose and prayer, she slammed a palm to Cat’s head and dunked her again, jerking her back up in a gush of water. “Say it, Catfish. I pump iron at the gym, so I can do this all day.” She locked her in another chokehold while Cat coughed up water, barking like a seal with croup—one who had obviously swallowed more water than pride.

  “You w-win,” she wheezed, hoarse and heaving harder than the air pump for her daddy’s white-water raft.

  Lacey grinned and tightened her hold. “River swear,” she said through clenched teeth, resorting to their childhood version of pinky swear, where the Skidaway became the sacred tonic of truth in which no lie could survive. She smiled at the memory. And where fibs and falsehoods were threatened with underwear dunks, icy winter dips, or gagging on raw bait.

  “River swear!” It was no more than a croak, but it cinched Lacey’s title of River Queen, securing Cat’s allegiance to do whatever the queen asked.

  Exhaling her exhaustion, Lacey released her, swimming around to face a stone-faced Cat. Eyes as cold as the night breeze that nipped at their sodden skin, she looked so young and vulnerable, blonde hair plastered to her head except for a lopsided ponytail as bedraggled as she. Lips tipping in a faint smile, Lacey gently pulled a twig from Cat’s hair, her tone laced with regret. “Cat, I’m really sorry I got so rough, but your friendship is too important to me to go on this way.”

  Cat’s voice was a hiss. “Yeah, I saw how important it was when you dumped me for Nicki.”

  Lacey swallowed hard, well aware she could never tell Cat the truth why she’d turned her back on her after Jack went to college, hanging with Nicki senior year instead of her. She expelled a silent breath and shot a glance at the O’Bryen’s dock, which was now deserted, Shan obviously back at the house while Jack silently fished the far bank. The ladder was back down, she noted, and nodded toward it. “Can we talk? Please?”

  Mouth pinched tight, Cat swam toward the dock, mounting the ladder without a word while Lacey followed behind. Distancing herself, Cat dropped down on the edge, arms stiff on the wood while she dangled her feet in the dusky water, gaze straight ahead.

  Lacey sucked in a fortifying breath and joined her, careful to give Cat her space as she hunkered down a few feet away, uttering a silent prayer while she slipped her legs over the side. “I screwed up,” she said quietly, the grief in her words as thick as the guilt that coated her throat. “Big time. Nick moved back, and I was so angry at Daddy, I just wanted to get away.” She stared at the water, gaze lost in the sluggish roll of the river. “Hanging out at Nicki’s helped me to do that,” she said with a lick of her lips, her mouth chapped and dry despite the water lapping around their feet. “What can I say?” She peered at Cat out of the corner of her eye, her expression sheepish. “She was older and more experienced, and I was dazzled by the freedom she had after her mom died, especially when Uncle Cam was too busy to notice we were both running wild.”

  Cat met her gaze, a touch of hurt in her slitted eyes, tempering the fury somewhat. “We were best friends, Lace,” she hissed, the bite in her voice indicating her anger ran deep. “From toddlers to teens, we told each other everything, did everything together. For crying out loud, in some ways I was closer to you than my own sister.” She blinked hard several times, as if to thwart the sheen of tears that welled, tone hard. “Then one day your slut of a cousin rolls in, and suddenly I’m not good enough anymore, and neither was Jack, apparently.”

  “No!” She reached out to touch Cat’s hand, an ache convulsing in her throat when Cat jerked away to lock her arms to her chest. “That’s not true,” Lacey whispered, desperate to make Cat understand that it wasn’t her or Jack who weren’t good enough. “If anything, you were too good, Cat, both you and your family. You guys were always so happy and close, it got harder and harder to go back home where my parents fought all the time and D
addy railed on me night and day. So when Nicki moved here …” Lacey grabbed a long twig from the water, methodically breaking it into tiny pieces. “I saw my chance to get away. Only Nicki was pretty wild as you know, and it wasn’t long before I started changing too.”

  “No joke.” Cat snatched her own stick from beneath the dock so fast, Lacey thought she might whack her with it, but she only mimicked Lacey, shredding it into fragments of wood as splintered as their friendship. “You stopped coming around unless Jack was home, which made me feel like dirt, and you never once invited me along.”

  “Because you were too good, Cat,” Lacey said with a crack in her voice. She gripped Cat’s shoulder with shaky fingers, relieved when she didn’t pull away. “I didn’t like myself very much during that time because my bitterness and rebellion toward my dad sucked me into a black hole where I did things I’m too ashamed to talk about. Every single time Nicki and I went out—the places we went, the people we met—I felt like I was spiraling deeper and deeper into a lifestyle I couldn’t stop.” She squeezed Cat’s shoulder, fingers gently skimming down her friend’s arm with an affection that caused tears to sting. “But I could stop you,” she whispered, “by not coming around except when Jack was home, so that’s what I did.” She swallowed the emotion in her throat. “Because I loved you too much, Cat, to take you down with me.”

  Cat peered up, a wet spark of anger glimmering in red-rimmed eyes. “And what about Jack? I suppose you loved him so much that you left him high and dry, without even a goodbye.”

  “Yes, as a matter of fact, I did,” Lacey said in a rush, her voice no more than a rasp, “I … wasn’t cut out to be a pastor’s wife, Cat, and Jack deserved better.”

  “Yeah, Lace, he did—better than turning your back on him without saying goodbye.”

  “I had no choice,” she whispered, her words hoarse with regret. “You know Jack—he would have talked me out of it, and I couldn’t let that happen.”

  Cat turned to face her square on. “And why is that exactly?” she snapped. “Because he wasn’t good enough for you?”

  The hard plane of Cat’s face softened through the blur of moisture Lacey tried to blink away. “No, Cat, because I wasn’t good enough for him. Or at least that’s what my father told me the night he kicked me out of the house.”

  The tendons in Cat’s throat convulsed. “He … kicked you out? But … but I thought you just left on your own ... He told my parents you planned to live with your godmother in San Diego, that you wanted to go to school out there.”

  Lacey nodded. “That much is true, but only because Daddy convinced me that a pastor didn’t need a whore as a wife and he was right.” She looked away, unable to face the shadow of sympathy she saw in Cat’s eyes because she knew she didn’t deserve it. The mournful croon of a dove carried over the water as she stared, the mist on the marsh as foggy as the memories she’d tried so hard to forget. “I … got involved in things I’m not proud of, Cat … terrible things I never even told Jack, not the least of which were booze and drugs, so I knew my father was right.” A harsh laugh broke from her lips. “Jack deserved better than me,” she whispered, “and I knew leaving was the only way to make sure that he got it.”

  She stared across the river, barely seeing the waves of sea grass that whispered in the breeze. “Besides, I wasn’t ready to settle down, and Jack was, at least enough to put a ring on my finger. And to be honest, Cat …” Her eyelids drifted closed, weighted with remorse so deep, it ached to her very soul. “I was so screwed up in my head and my heart that I wasn’t even sure I could honor a commitment like that.” She exhaled loudly, her chest rising and falling like her dreams had so long ago. Her gaze lifted to meet Cat’s, the saddest of smiles edging her lips. “So I left.”

  Cat shook her head. “I’ll tell you what, Lacey Carmichael, you are one messed-up chick.”

  A smile shadowed Lacey’s lips. “Was one messed-up chick, Cat … and duh!” She tweaked the back of Cat’s neck, sidling closer until their thighs almost touched. “You can thank me now if you want.”

  Cat scrunched her shoulders, her chuckle tumbling into the misty air. “Yeah, I guess you’re right. I could have been stuck with some whacked-out sister-in-law who would have screwed up our family even more than her freakin’ mo—” Her lips suddenly gummed tight, as if she’d just realized she might upset the balance of an already tenuous truce.

  “‘Her freakin’mom’— I know,” Lacey whispered, “go ahead and say it.” Her heart cramped just speaking the words, stunned at how much it still hurt, the damage her family had done. First her, then her mother, and then her father, in shutting everyone out. She bit her lip and looked away, tears pooling against her will. “There are no words, Cat, to express the sorrow I carry inside over what my mother and I did to your family, and I just hope and pray …” She swallowed hard, the taste of her regret a bitter bile. “That someday you’ll be able to forgive us because God knows the scars are deep—on both sides.”

  Cat’s heavy sigh floated into the air, mingling with the mist. “I know,” she said quietly, “but the truth is your mother didn’t act alone, Lacey, no matter how much blame I wanted to lay at her feet. And trust me, I laid plenty.” She hesitated for a brief moment before she slowly reached to tug Lacey’s hand, drawing her gaze. “But talking to you tonight … clearing the air, well, it’s suddenly made me realize just how much better it feels to forgive than to hate.” She squeezed Lacey’s palm, affection softening her face for the very first time. “So, yeah, I forgive you, I guess …” Smile lines crinkled at the edge of her eyes. “If you’ll forgive me for being such a bullhead.”

  Lacey laughed and hooked an arm around her shoulder. “No, way, Catfish—that’s one of the things I always liked best about you—your spit and fire. Figuratively, that is, not literally.”

  “Lace?”

  Lacey slid her a sideways smile. “Yeah?”

  Cat’s shoulders rose and fell with a cumbersome sigh. “I’m really sorry about your mom and the part my dad played in it all.” She looked away, her gaze moist as she stared out over the water. “Somehow it’s easier to forgive you and your mom because you both came from a pretty dysfunctional household, but Dad …” Moisture pooled in her eyes, her face sorrowful in the purple hues of sunset. “He knew better. The man had it all—a great wife, a great family, and a church that revered and respected him, but it wasn’t enough.” Bitterness edged her tone like the shadows of dusk edged the night. “We weren’t enough, and apparently neither was God, and to be honest, Lace, I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to forgive him for that.”

  “Yes, you will,” Lacey said quietly, the assurance in her tone as solid as the faith in her heart. She gently tucked her head against Cat’s, the two of them lost in the lazy loll of the river. “Because if God can change a train wreck like me to the point where I’m actually reaching out to a man who not only wants nothing to do with me, but whom I’ve bucked and despised most of my life, then he can change you.”

  Cat glanced at her, a touch of awe in her tone. “Shut the front door, you really have changed, haven’t you?”

  Laughter spilled from Lacey’s lips as she pulled Cat into a side hug. “In my heart, Catfish, not in my aspirations. I still have a competitive streak a mile long, which is why I’m Queen of the River and you’re not.”

  “So … I assume you two are done making amends?” Jack ambled down the ramp with a lazy grin on his face, his cocky air more than evident. He stopped behind them to dangle his prize catches over their heads, the scent of fish and man wrinkling Lacey’s nose.

  Both Lacey and Cat ducked to the side to avoid the drip of his heavy stringer. “Very impressive, Brye, but I’m not sure who smells worse—you or the fish. I suggest a shower.”

  He chuckled. “Right after I clean these babies.” He strolled over to the cleaning station he’d built and tossed them on top before shuffling back, hands butted low on his hips. “So who won? The loser can help me gut and c
lean.”

  The girls exchanged glances. “Deal. But we’re not done yet, are we, Cat?”

  A slow grin slid across Cat’s lips when she obviously spied the devil in Lacey’s eyes. “Nope.”

  Lacey nodded toward the rope swing where she and Cat had settled so many competitions over the years with the farthest drop. “Despite beating her soundly, your very stubborn sister has challenged my supreme authority as queen, so the rope shall decide.” Lacey raised her hand and Cat followed suit. “Here, help us up so I can shut her up once and for all.”

  A husky chuckle rumbled from Jack’s throat as he flashed a smile, arms extended. “Cat’s had eight years of practice, Lace—you sure you know what you’re doing?”

  “Oh, yeah,” she said with a smug look, clamping onto his hand at the same time as Cat, Jack’s muscles taut as he drew them both up.

  “Good, because this I gotta—”

  Kerplunk! Jack hit the water like a 200-lb. cannonball, Sperrys and all, a thunderous fountain spray dousing the girls and the deck. Adrenaline pumping from their coordinated yank, Lacey and Cat high-fived, their laughter bouncing off the other shore when Jack finally popped back up, a soppy scowl on his face. “You tricked me,” he said, spitting water like a rusty spigot.

  “We prefer to think of it as helping you to clean up, Jack,” Lacey said with a sweet smile.

  “Not me.” Cat shot a smirk, hip cocked while she folded her arms. “It’s called payback, Flack.”

  “At least I took your shoes off,” he groused, slamming a wave of water at them with the slash of his hand.

  They jumped back with a giggle, turning to head toward the ramp. “Hey, I’m starved,” Cat said, finger-combing her hair, “and there was leftover apple cobbler as I recall.”

  “Ooooo, with ice cream, I hope.” Lacey bent over to fluff out her hair.

  The ladder groaned with Jack’s weight. “Hey—where you guys going? I thought you weren’t done.”