Isle of Hope

by Julie Lessman

  “You mean ran away with your tail between your legs.” Jack’s words hissed in the air.

  “Yes,” his father said calmly, “I ran away like the coward I was.” The aura of peace and calm Jack had sensed before settled over his father’s shoulders again like the mantle of moonlight that broke through the clouds. “It took losing everything, Son, including my life, to finally understand what I was too blind to see. Everything to liberate me from the same pride that lost Lucifer his soul. And that is—God alone is the Alpha and the Omega. He is the beat of my pulse. He is the strength in my bones. He is my beginning and my end, and there is no hope in anything—” His father took a step forward, a gleam of faith in his eyes like nothing Jack had ever seen, “anything … except Him.”

  Unable to speak, Jack couldn’t move a muscle, eyes locked on the father he’d considered shallow and weak. The same man who now radiated a strength and peace that seemed to envelop Jack as well. His father gave an awkward shrug as he approached, hands deep in his pockets and smile sheepish. “Sorry—I get a little carried away at the magnitude of Who He is, Jack, and just how much He loves us. Enough to allow us the freedom to choose. And enough to allow those choices to strip us of everything that stands in the way of our ultimate happiness—Him.”

  His smile faded into sobriety while his gaze bonded to Jack’s. “I don’t deserve your forgiveness, Son,” he said quietly, “anymore than I deserve God’s, but I’m asking for it all the same.” He peered up at the sky, as if drawing strength from the shaft of light that split the billow of dark clouds overhead. “I don’t deserve it, Son, but you do. I don’t want to see you make the mistake I made, choosing pride over God. I learned the hard way that pride is man’s greatest weakness. It felled Lucifer at the beginning of time and it will do the same for anyone who relies on his or her own strength rather than God’s. It will rob them of God’s blessings and steal their hope and their future.” He studied Jack’s face in a silent plea. “And it will rob us of the ability to forgive if we let it, so I’m asking you, Jack, please—” He paused, grasping Jack’s shoulder in a firm hold. “Don’t. For your sake as well as your mother’s.”

  Eons passed, it seemed, as Jack stared, feeling the battle within to forgive or to turn him away. This was the man he’d loved and revered most of his life. The man of God who’d inspired him. The father who’d taught him to fish and swing a bat. The parent who’d nurtured and encouraged him. His eyelids lumbered closed. And the hero who’d disappointed him, falling from his sky like Lucifer, flinging his family into the abyss.

  And yet, here he stood, a man on the precipice of eternity, giving the greatest gift of all.

  The truth.

  Moisture stung beneath his lids like a flash flood. Mind in a freefall, he struggled to breathe against the anger and bitterness that choked the air from his throat. And then with a violent heave, he gripped his father as if he were a lifeline, clinging as fiercely as the summer his dad had saved his life, a small boy determined to brave the currents of a flooded river. Then, like now, he’d been drowning in the deep, struggling with the swirling emotions that longed to take him down. His father’s hold tightened, and with a shuddering heave, Jack wept against his neck, clutching so hard, his fingers dug into his back. Like a thundercloud heavy with rain, years of grief streamed from his eyes, washing the pain away to nourish a new beginning.

  “I love you, Son,” his father rasped, “and if there were anything in the world I could do to make it up to you, I would.”

  Eyes burning, Jack pulled away, hands braced to his father’s arms as he searched his face, finally seeing the hero he’d lost through a haze of healing. He swallowed hard, dislodging the last of his hurt. “There is,” he said, throat thick with emotion. “Will you marry Lacey and me?”

  His father stared, his startled look containing a glimmer of hope despite the spike of his brows. “I thought Tess said your pastor friend Chase was going to marry you.”

  “He was,” Jack said, “but he’ll understand.”

  Jaw flickering, his father blinked several times before he gave a short nod. “It would be one of the greatest honors of my life, Jack,” he said, his words gruff and low. He sucked in a deep breath before grinning outright. “Although given my past, I’m not sure I’m the best one to sanction your marriage.” He threaded a trembling hand through his hair, his embarrassment evident in a flustered shrug. “As a man of God, I don’t exactly have the best track record, you know.”

  Flashing a gleam of teeth that matched his dad’s, Jack draped an arm over his shoulder. “That’s okay, Dad—neither do I.”

  Chapter Forty-Six

  Ben was a nervous wreck and it wasn’t even his wedding. Hands sweating on the wheel of his Range Rover, he slid a peek at Lacey out of the corner of his eye and held his breath for the umpteenth time. She was a fairy-tale princess in ivory chiffon, sparkling head to toe with glittering beads on her bodice that winked along with those on her heels and upswept hair. His chest expanded with both pride and with love. My princess.

  And … soon to be Jack’s.

  He blinked several times as he turned into the lushly landscaped church parking lot, clearing the emotion from his throat before flashing her a brilliant smile. “You sure you don’t want to change your mind? I’ve gotten used to you being underfoot, so you can always join me in the Dominican Republic or Haiti if you’re looking to maintain your tan.”

  She grinned, her white teeth twinkling as much as her eyes. “Very tempting, Daddy, but then who would take care of Beau and the house?”

  Chuckling, he eased up to the brick-columned church portico to drop her off, grateful the parking lot was mostly empty. “Well, we could always ask Tess,” he said casually, his smile dimming at the thought of the woman he was leaving behind. “After all, Beau already likes her better than me since she bribes him with bacon.”

  Lacey’s smile ebbed as she laid a hand on her father’s arm. “Have you told her yet?” she asked quietly, her tender concern soothing him somewhat.

  He placed his hand over hers, giving it a squeeze. “Not yet, but I will.” Glancing at the clock on the dash, he gave her a pat. “You better scoot, kiddo.” He leaned to kiss her on the cheek. “I’m so proud of you, sweetheart, and I wish your mom could see you today.” Eyes tender, he chucked her chin to ward off more emotion. “You’re a beautiful woman, Lacey Carmichael, just like her. Inside and out.”

  “Oh, Daddy, I can’t thank you enough for everything …” She clutched him so tightly and so long, he worried he just might break down and cry. Pressing a kiss to her fingers, she traced them along his clean-shaven jaw before straightening his tie, obviously less successful than he at stemming the saltwater. “To have you here on my wedding day …” A lump wobbled in her throat as she splayed a palm to her chest. “And here for the rest of my life, is a dream come true, and I love you more than I can say.”

  Nodding, he gave a gruff clear of his throat, not about to say one single word lest he cry like a girl.

  With a final peck to his cheek, she hopped out of the car and slammed the door, revealing a pair of well-worn Nikes while she unceremoniously hiked her dress to bolt inside. Target bag with shoes and makeup in one hand, she opened the massive mahogany and stained-glass door with the other, butting her hip to keep it ajar while she blew him a kiss. Against his will, the blasted tears bullied their way to his eyes.

  My little tomboy playing dress-up for life …

  Swiping his face with the back of his suit sleeve, he parked and made his way into the church vestibule where he’d only been one other time—when he walked Lacey down the aisle for dress rehearsal the night before. He grunted and strode down the polished mahogany hallway with a tug of his cuff-linked sleeves, wishing he had a dress rehearsal for the rest of his life so he knew what was going to happen. Sure, Tess had implied she’d marry him before Adam had arrived, but the ring he’d bought her still loomed on his bureau like a blasted block of kryptonite, making him weak
every time he saw it. He bit back a scowl, his mood darkening despite the stained-glass windows that brightened the hall. It should be on her finger now instead of in his blasted bedroom, where in the future, she should be, too, sleeping in his bed with a gold band on her hand.

  If not for Adam.

  He made his way to the groom’s room, heels pounding the hardwood floor like his heart pounded against his chest, the scent of lemon oil and flowers assailing him with thoughts of Tess. He planned on telling her he was leaving at the end of the reception, but suddenly he itched to get it over and done so he could just enjoy the evening. Yeah, right, I’ll have a blast. Knowing he wouldn’t see her or Lacey for the next six months. He stifled a groan. Maybe he’d send her a postcard instead ... His hand hovered over the brass knob of the groom’s door while he blew out a tired sigh. “Buck up, Carmichael, you gotta tell her sooner or later—”

  The door whirled open and Tess gasped as it slammed into his shoulder.

  All righty then, sooner it is …

  “Oh! I am so sorry …” She blinked, one hand to her chest and the other pinched on the knob, cheeks blooming with color as she stared at him wide-eyed. “Are you all right?”

  “Sure.” He gave her a crooked smile while he rubbed the shoulder of his charcoal suit. “Well, my shoulder anyway …”

  Her blush deepened as she chewed at the edge of her smile. “You clean up pretty good, Dr. Doom,” she said softly, the stark love in her eyes lifting his mood higher than the brick-and-glass steeple on top of the church.

  He devoured her visually, no more able to tame the rove of his gaze down her silky sea-foam dress than he could the thundering of his pulse. Leaning in, he restrained himself with a polite hug, drinking in the scent of lemons while he whispered in her ear. “Have you always been this stunning, Teresa O’Bryen, or am I just crazy in love?” He stepped away, grinning broadly at the whoosh of blood up her neck, all the more noticeable with her blonde hair piled high.

  “Well, ‘crazy’ anyway …” she teased, mimicking him.

  “Hey, Dr. Carmichael, you’re a credit to our profession in that suit, sir.” Jack grinned in the mirror, adjusting the teal tie of his own dark gray suit as Matt looked on.

  Peeking past Tess while she held the door, Ben shot a quirk of a smile. “Thanks, Jack, but I’m guessing it’s time you call me Ben since we’re going to be related. And you boys don’t look too shabby either.”

  “Does that include me, I hope?” Adam called from the other side of the room, his grin unable to deflect a look of fatigue in spite of a spiffy dark suit and green paisley tie.

  “Sure.” For Jack’s and Tess’s sake, Ben forced a smile he didn’t feel, wishing he’d listened when Tess suggested he reconnect with Adam before today. Maybe it wouldn’t be so awkward. His jaw ground tight before he could stop it. Who was he kidding? “Awkward” was the only thing it could be with a best friend who’d slept with his wife. Before Adam could say anything else, Ben tossed a smile Jack’s way. “I’ll be right back—forgot something,” he said, ushering Tess out the door.

  “Ben?” Her voice was a whispered squeal as he steered her down the hall and around a corner. “What are you doing?”

  He’d had no intention of kissing her whatsoever, but his body apparently had a mind of its own. The moment they were alone, he found himself pulling her close, lips nuzzling hers in a tender kiss that quickly erupted into passion. The thought of not seeing her for half a year completely shattered all restraint. “So help me, Tess,” he said, nudging her to the wall with an agony that shocked him to the core. “I am so in love with you …”

  Her answering moan melted into his mouth before she gently pushed him away, the same torment in her face that he felt in his own. “Ben, I’m in love with you too—desperately—but this is not the time nor place.”

  He swallowed hard and nodded, stepping away with arms limp at his sides. “I know,” he said gruffly. “Forgive me, please. I swear I had no intention of doing this.” Venting with a shaky sigh, he angled away, fingers gouging through his neatly groomed hair. “It’s just that—”

  “I know,” she whispered, gently brushing the tips of his hand with her own. Inhaling deeply, she distanced herself several feet while she hugged her arms to her waist. “This is so hard, Ben, but I know it’s what I’m supposed to do. Every day that Adam gets a little weaker, it seems as if our family gets stronger.” Water welled in her eyes, and it took everything in him not to hold her and comfort her. Her chest expanded before she expelled a wavering breath. “And though it’s bittersweet, I can’t tell you just how much joy it gives me to see my family together again. Clean slates, clean hearts … while all the time the bond between us continues to grow.”

  A cramp twisted in his gut. “You and Adam aren’t …” He licked his dry lips, throat parched at the very thought. “Falling in love again, are you?”

  She glanced up, facial muscles slack with surprise. “Oh, Ben, no,” she whispered, her touch gentle on his arm. “I love Adam, I do—as the father of my children and a dear friend. But we’ve been apart for years now, and both of us have moved on with our lives.”

  Plunging his hands in his pockets, Ben felt like a lovesick teen, petrified his girlfriend would break up with him. He absently scuffed at the wood grain in the floor. “But it could happen, Tess,” he said quietly, his breathing suddenly shallow. “Living in the same house again.” His gaze rose to meet hers. “‘What God has joined together, let no man separate.’”

  A slow smile curved on her beautiful lips as she softly caressed his jaw. “You’re adorable, you know that? Quoting Scripture like you are?” Sobriety quickly stole her humor. “And, yes, I believe that. But God also knows our frailties, Ben, as evident from Matthew 19:9— ‘anyone who divorces, except for sexual immorality, commits adultery if they remarry.’”

  He cupped his hand over hers on his jaw, turning to softly kiss her palm. “I love you, Tess, with ever fiber of my being, but I want you to know that if you and Adam decide to remarry by the time I get back, I’ll quietly step away if that’s what you want.”

  She slowly withdrew her hand, brows in a scrunch. “What do you mean ‘by the time you get back’?”

  Inhaling deeply, he forged on, determined to get it over with. “I’ve signed up for an extended medical leave with the International Children’s Heart Foundation, so I’ll be gone for the next six months.” He exhaled slowly. “I leave for Haiti tomorrow.”

  She gasped, face bleaching white. “You’re l-leaving? T-Tomorrow?”

  “A friend of mine has been after me for a long time now, to ‘get off my duff,’ as he calls it, and give something back to the world, but I’ve never felt the time was right until now.”

  A knot ducked in her throat as she nodded, arms barricaded to her waist once again. “Well, I’d say it’s perfect timing, then,” she said, her voice more than a bit hoarse. “Will you be taking Beau with you?”

  “No, that’s the good news in all of this.” His smile was half-hearted at best. “I asked Lacey and Jack to house- and dog-sit for me, so you’ll have everybody you love close by whenever you need them.”

  Water glittered in her eyes. “Not all of them,” she whispered.

  “Aw, Tess …” Without another thought, he tugged her into his arms, head tucked to hers as he massaged her back with the whole of his hand. “I’ll write—I promise.”

  She sniffled against his chest, tone nasal while she made a poor attempt at humor. “You b-better, ‘Dr. Doom’ … or you’ll m-meet yours …”

  His heavy sigh breezed against her ear. “I already have,” he whispered, pressing a kiss to her hair, vaguely aware of the echo of footfalls down the hall. “I’m leaving, remember?”

  “Oh … sorry … didn’t realize …” Both whirled to see Adam standing stiff at the corner, his normally pale cheeks actually ruddy for once. “Somebody said the men’s room was this way, but I must have taken a wrong turn.”

  Tess pushed away
from Ben so hard, he actually teetered. “Yes, it is, Adam, t-two d-doors d-down,” she stuttered, obviously as flustered as her ex-husband. She peeked up at Ben with an apology in her eyes. “Thanks for the shoulder to cry on, Ben—we’re going to miss you.” She patted his arm in a platonic manner before hurrying past, cheeks burnished with a pink glow. “Goodness, Lacey will think I fell in. See you in the sanctuary.”

  Ben watched her flee around the corner and heaved a cumbersome sigh.

  “You’re leaving?” Adam’s approach was casual, but the concern etched in his face betrayed his usual calm.

  “Yeah, tomorrow,” Ben said too sharply, “for a six-month medical leave to Haiti.” He forced a polite smile, jaw aching from the effort. “Lacey and Jack have agreed to stay at my house and take care of Beau, so they’ll be close by, which should make Tess happy.”

  Tranquil gray eyes studied him with an affection Ben had once enjoyed. “But not you, I suspect.”

  Ben squinted through narrow eyes. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

  Head cocked, Adam peered up with the faintest of smiles. “Come on, Ben, you were always the brains between us, but I had the street smarts, remember?” In a relaxed manner that had always been his hallmark, Adam slipped both hands in his pockets, his tranquil expression getting on Ben’s last nerve. “You’re in love with Tess and she’s in love with you.”

  Heat gorged Ben’s face. “Did she tell you that?”

  Adam shrugged, his smile crooking off-center. “Didn’t have to, Doc. My vision’s 20/20 even if my pancreas is riddled with cancer. I saw the way she looked at you the night I arrived, Ben, and you, her. And I swear the poor thing jumps every time she hears Beau bark.”