MR. H.

by Samantha Hart

  “Oh. Yeah. I was always going to tell you, I just didn’t really know how.”

  “I’m not mad Katie, Jesus, who do you think I am? I just wanted to say… fuck that bitch, you deserve way better than that.”

  “Oh Hannah, you are lovelier than you realise, but I’m done with relationships, casual sex and the companionship of my dog at home is all I’ll ever need – plus it’s way more fun, I promise.” I was glad bringing up Rachel hadn’t brought the mood down, but the sly smile and wink from Katie was a little unnerving.

  My stomach was growling, I’d forgotten to feed it this morning and it was not appreciative at all. I could smell the café food being cooked in their tiny little kitchen out back, and I felt like I could smell each and every ingredient, garlic, onions, a heady mixture of herbs and one particular ingredient that had my mouth watering and longing to get back to the restaurant so I could get my hands on some, bacon.

  Katie and I had been sitting there chatting for over an hour by the time she shot through with one final parting message;

  “I can’t wait to get that sweet mouth of yours between my legs.”

  Fuck, if only she could feel what that one small statement had done between mine.

  Before leaving the café, I sent Mr. H a quick text in the hopes he could have an extra-large bacon filled brunch almost ready for me when I arrived. And, I was in luck, when I walked through those big old restaurant doors I was instantly smacked in the face by the intoxicating scent of cooking bacon. Mmm, I followed the delicious waft to the kitchen, almost like a cartoon character floating through the air.

  “That smells amazing!” Walking into the kitchen I was expecting to be saying that to either Linda or Beth, but the person behind the grill, making my favourite brekkie was none other than Mr. H himself.

  “I’m just finishing up, go chill out in my office and I’ll join you in a minute or two. Extra hollandaise?”

  “Please!”

  The moment I stepped foot into Mr. H’s office I was overcome with the sweet citrusy smell of oranges, glancing over to his desk revealed a carafe of freshly squeezed orange juice on my side of the table, well, anyone’s side I suppose, but my side right now.

  Pouring myself an OJ, I could hear footsteps coming up the long hallway, wow, I thought, he really was fast. But when the door opened, it wasn’t him.

  “I thought I’d find you in here.” Katie said, “I realised I didn’t kiss you goodbye before.” And she walked right up to where I was sitting, crouched down in front of me, and planted her soft luscious lips right onto mine, placing one of her hands behind my head for good measure before a cheeky tongue dove into my mouth, briefly swiping against mine until she pulled away when we both heard;

  “Well, don’t mind me. That’s only my girlfriend’s mouth your tongue is inside.”

  Looking up at him, his face revealed only amusement, there was absolutely no sign of anger, annoyance, or jealousy, he purely found this funny, and probably a little hot too.

  “Sorry Callan, I don’t know how you ever let this one out of your bed.” Katie joked as she exited the office, and although I was grateful for the kiss, I desperately wanted the plate of food in Mr. H’s hand. If I didn’t eat soon I felt as though I’d throw up, or pass out.

  Scoffing down the food faster than an eating contest participant, I could see Mr. H’s perplexed looking expression, like he’d never seen a hungry woman before.

  “Far out Hannah, anyone would think you were eating for two.”

  I let out an awkward, loud, rather uncouth laugh with a mouthful of food, nearly managing to choke myself in the process.

  “Like fuck, you funny man.” Although I did want babies, just maybe not right now.

  Since I was a little girl, I’d dreamt of having a big family with my handsome husband, three or four kids – that’s always been the future I had pictured, I’d spend my days at home with the kids, writing in any spare time I could get. However, I’d never imagined that the handsome husband of my dreams could potentially be a multimillionaire with an incredibly seductive and powerful dominant streak. Which led me to think… what kind of father would he be?

  “Earth to Hannah.” Mr. H said, pulling me back out of my own head, “What are you thinking about? It looked intense, whatever it was.”

  “If you must know… I was wondering what you’d be like – as a Dad.”

  The instant wide toothed grin spreading across Mr. H’s face was proof that he really did like the idea of having babies with me. I didn’t really need to hear much more than that, but what he said next probably made me the cluckiest I’ve ever felt in my life. If I was ever going to become a mother, it had to be with this man.

  “I’d like to hope I’ll be a good Dad, or at least I’d give it a damn good try, it’s something I’ve always dreamt of, five or six little versions of me, I’d teach them how to play sport, how to drive, how to cook, send them off to prom and drop them off on dates – I can’t wait to scare the living shit out of my future daughter’s dates.”

  The look on his face when he spoke was genuine, this really was what he wanted in life, I just hoped he could wait long enough for me to be ready too.

  Once I’d finished every last bite of food on my plate and licked it clean, yup, I’m that kinda gal what can I say, I enjoy my food, Mr. H moved on to discuss what I came here for, and what had just hunted me out and kissed me, Katie.

  He was less surprised than I was that she wasn’t fazed by his rules, but he was a little taken back by her request of taking me as her sub for the night. Even he hadn’t technically gone quite that far yet – we’d done plenty of taste tests and small scenes, but never had I gone a whole night in complete submission.

  “Katie said you’d be able to tell me what she’s like as a dominant?”

  “Yeah, I could, but I’m going to have to re-think this first, I don’t know how comfortable I am with this anymore Hannah. It’s a lot different than you two just enjoying one another’s company. Giving someone your submission is a pretty big deal.”

  I knew what he meant, and I was glad he felt that way, my mind was completely clouded by lust. I couldn’t think clearly enough about this to make a good decision, I just wanted her, whatever it took, but Mr. H helped me to realise that that wasn’t the right way to enter into a bdsm type arrangement. I needed to think with my real brain, not the imaginary one attached to my vagina.

  “Shouldn’t you be focussing on your book release, over this business with Katie anyway, Hannah?” Mr. H asked, “That is why you’re not back working here yet isn’t it?”

  He was right. Again. God damn it.

  “Yeah, yeah, I know. Speaking of the book, I should probably get going now, I’ve got a bunch of social media promotions to get through, Mr Bernard had his assistant set up and establish some good platforms for me to work from. Oh, speaking of Mr. Bernard…”

  The look Mr. H shot me from across the table as I told him about the incident at the meeting yesterday was one of those Oh no he didn’t looks, but oh yes unfortunately he did. I tried my best at assuring him I had it all under control, and that I had well and truly turned down Mr Bernard’s advances, but I could see the raging anger growing behind those big gorgeous brown eyes none the less, I could sense the big alpha dog this is my woman, not yours, back off, coming from a mile off.

  I didn’t know what was worse – keeping this secret from him, or watching the crisis unfold now that I’d been honest. It was just one drama after the next with me.

  “I’ll have a little chat with Mr Bernard, just to make sure he won’t be bothering you again.” Fuck, that’s what I was afraid of, I didn’t want this messing with my book release.

  “Oh god no, please don’t do that, he knows it will never happen between us, I have another meeting with him next week – just leave it for now and come with me to that meeting, that’s all I’m asking okay?”

  Luckily, and thankfully, he agreed. I could breathe out that huge sigh of relief a
nd get on with promoting my book release. My book. I still hadn’t completely wrapped my head around the idea that my book was going to be on the shelves of all the major bookstores around the country. In less than two weeks. 13 days and counting.

  After kissing Mr. H goodbye, I headed to my apartment to get on with it, I definitely worked better out of my own apartment, without any big, sexy, dominant distractions.

  Finding a carpark outside my place was a bit of an issue, but eventually I got it sorted after five anxiety filled failed attempts at parallel parking. I prayed and hoped nobody was watching because damn, that was embarrassing.

  Checking my answering machine on the way in the door revealed twelve new messages, twelve! It had only been a few days since I was here last, and none of them would be from the usual suspects – Mom, or Jade.

  The latest message was from Katie;

  ‘Hi you, I just spoke with Callan, I guess it was too good to be true. I do realise now that asking you to be my submissive was a really stupid idea, I got a bit carried away, so maybe we should just go back to being friends? I know I’d like that, and you could use a good friend right?’ Yup, I’d just lost my bestie, I was definitely lacking a confidant, and I would love for things to just go back to normal, if I ever wanted to experiment with another girl, it was going to have to be one that I wasn’t already close to. Far too messy.

  One was actually almost from Jade, it was Ben;

  ‘Hey Hannah, it’s Ben, I was hoping I could drop by sometime, I have that present for you, and a couple of other things of Jades I thought you may like to keep. Call me.’

  One was from Mr Bernard;

  ‘Hannah, I wanted to apologise again for the misunderstanding, could we meet up to discuss it? Please? Oh – it’s Greg Bernard calling.’

  And the other nine were a mixture of static, heavy breathing and hang-ups. Honestly, they could’ve been from numerous people, I couldn’t jump straight to the conclusion that it was still Jason prank calling me, after all, he now knew all about the non-contact orders that were in place. It could’ve been Mr Bernard trying to call back again, it could’ve even been Rachel for all I knew, she did blame me for her relationship’s demise. Fuck, if we were going by scorned ex-lovers, I’d have to include Kristen in there too. The number of people who had an issue with me seemed to be growing by the minute. I was glad I’d decided to publish anonymously, otherwise that number would rapidly multiply.

  Deciding I was done with all the bullshit prank calls, I ripped the damn answering machine cord right out of the wall, filling me with a false sense of security. Hah, there, I thought, game over, I win.

  Before starting on my stack of work I needed to get through I quickly sent Ben, Katie and shudders Mr Bernard text replies to their voicemails.

  ‘Hi Ben, I’m working from home for the rest of the day/night, if you’re free come on over anytime.’

  ‘Katie you have no idea how happy that’s made me, you’re already too important of a friend for me to want to lose. Now I just need to figure out how to stop thinking about your kisses. X’

  ‘Mr Bernard, it’s Hannah James, I do not see a need to meet with you, especially without ‘my bodyguard’ present, on that note, I will no longer be attending any meeting with you, alone. I do hope you understand.’

  As I went to head toward my bedroom, I felt a slight draft as I walked down the hallway passed Jade’s old empty room, peeking in through the slightly cracked open door, I realised the window was open, wide open. I could’ve sworn I’d made sure every single window was securely closed the last time I left. I guess I didn’t do a very good job.

  Closing the window, I carried on to my room to fetch my laptop, which strangely was on my bed, and I was sure I’d left it in its bag, underneath my bed… as I lifted the lid on the laptop I discovered it had even been left on, weird, and the page that was open, was my manuscript. I knew I’d been all over the place recently, so, although it seemed odd, I just assumed I was being forgetful.

  Finally, I set the laptop up in my cosy little work nook, and before I got the hard yards underway, I poured myself the largest, strongest coffee I could, who cares if it was in a Pyrex bowl? I didn’t have very long to get these promotions started, and with 13 days left until release I was already far, far behind. This was going to be the most rapid book promotion and release I’d ever heard of. I just had to live in hope that the hasty release wouldn’t jeopardise the sales results.

  It was after six in the evening and I hadn’t even finished today’s last social media post of the first round of promotions. I had underestimated how consuming these tasks were, I had been sitting here for a decent five solid hours, staring into the other dimension of the internet world. I had to sort out some form of system for this, I had another 12 full days left of this and if I ever wanted anyone to purchase and read my book, I had to be more time efficient and get this done – without losing my mind in the process.

  While taking a break from the screen that was quickly draining my will to go on, I heard a knock at the door – Of course, I’d forgotten about Ben, if I’d been thinking properly I would’ve realised the time, he’d knocked off work and come straight over.

  He walked in the door, carrying a much larger box than I expected, setting it down on the kitchen counter on the way through, and then plonked himself down on my couch, making himself comfortable before he even opened his mouth, and when he did finally speak – I realised his words were definitely slurred, he was drunk.

  “Have you not been to work today?” I asked an almost passed out Ben.

  “Na – I haven’t been back since…” He started to sob, “I just don’t see the point. It’s all my fault you know – I killed her – if I didn’t get her pregnant she would still be alive.”

  Oh god, no, definitely not what I needed right now, I already had so much on my plate without an emotional wreck drowning in his grief of my best friend, dragging me down with him. I wanted to be there for Ben, I really did, but this wasn’t a job for me, not right now, if I ever had a time where I needed to be selfish, the opposite of Jade, it was now, I couldn’t risk my writing career, my first ever novel, over my dead best friend’s boyfriend. I knew I was letting her down by not helping him, which only made the guilt hurt much, much worse.

  “I’m sorry.” I whispered, looking up towards heaven, wiping a tear from my eye.

  When I looked back over toward Ben sprawled across my couch, snoring, I took the opportunity to find Ben’s parents phone number, and snuck away down the hall to do the shittiest thing. I felt awful calling them, explaining how he hadn’t been to work, turned up drunk on my doorstep, that he blamed himself for Jade’s death, and he wasn’t coping at all, but when they thanked me and said they had absolutely no idea, I felt slightly better.

  Ben’s Dad arrived half an hour later, waking him up in the process. What happened next was unexpected, but it was one of the most beautiful moments I’ve ever witnessed, his dad scooped him up from the couch, helping him to stand on his own two feet, and he held him in the tightest embrace, with both men sobbing and sniffling.

  “Come on boy, let’s get you home to Mom.” Ben’s Dad said after what felt like a good few minutes of raw emotion, “Thank you for calling, Hannah, you did the right thing.”

  I smiled kindly through my ugly crying face, closing the door behind them, before turning and realising I still had the horrible task of discovering what was inside the box. I knew I couldn’t do this alone, and there was well and truly only one man for this job. I text Mr. H asking if he could come spend the night with me tonight, explaining about Ben and the box of pure sadness and memories sitting on my counter.

  He arrived not long after I text, with tissues, Chinese food, and dark chocolate. Perfection. I seem to say it a lot lately, but how did I get so lucky with this man?

  We ate first, I knew whatever I was going to find in this box was going to sap my appetite. “I don’t know if I can do this.” I said, carrying the box over to t
he couch, “Maybe I’m not ready to find what’s in here just yet.”

  “You can do it Baby, I’m here with you.” The hand resting on my knee as I sat down was just as reassuring as the words coming from his mouth.

  Deciding to open the gift first, I took it from the top of the box, and placed it in my lap, it was small-ish, somewhat book sized, but definitely not a book, a picture frame maybe? But that really wasn’t Jade’s usual gift style, she was normally much more thoughtful. I took a deep breath before slowly peeling the tape from the gorgeous gold paper, and as I unwrapped the paper, I realised I’d guessed correctly, a picture frame. Not some stock standard picture in it though, it was a framed note.

  ‘Hannah, you are my very best friend in the entire world, there is nobody else I would ever want to give this honour to, I know you will love my baby just as much as Ben and I will, so, that being said, will you please be my baby’s Godmother?’

  Oh my god. Cue the tears. All of the tears. My heart had just been ripped from my chest all over again. Jade wanted me to be their baby’s godmother? Me?

  “I’m not looking at anything else in this box tonight.” I sniffled.

  Chapter Twenty One.

  It was now Saturday, I’d spent the past four days buried in social media work, I still had a fair few days of that ahead of me and I was already way over it. I just had to finish these last few posts for the day, and then I was heading over to Mr. H’s condo for the weekend. I’d developed a major case of cabin fever being trapped inside my wee apartment for what felt like a week solid, it wasn’t exactly true, I had ventured out briefly a couple of times, I couldn’t rely on Mr. H to hand deliver me food every day unfortunately, which meant a quick dash down to the local Indian takeaway to pick up dinner was necessary.

  Pressing ‘post’ on my final promotional spiel of the day released a flood of relief throughout my body, finally it was time to relax… that is, until tomorrow’s jobs came knocking. I packed up my laptop – that’s really the only thing I needed to bring to Mr. H’s nowadays, and made sure to double check every single window this time.