Bad Boys After Dark: Carson (Bad Billionaires After Dark Book 3)

by Melissa Foster

  The little girl’s mother, who was dressed up as Wonder Woman, asked if she could take a picture of the two of them. Tawny touched the side of her head to the child’s, beaming like she’d never been happier.

  Carson took a few pictures with his phone. As he looked at Tawny through his phone’s lens, he wondered what kind of magic had to happen in order for two people to find each other after so many years had passed. His mother’s words came back to him. Sometimes all the rational thinking in the world won’t get you what you need. It takes a little magic.

  “Thank you,” the little girl’s mother said to Tawny, pulling Carson from his thoughts.

  “Would you mind taking a picture of me and my girlfriend?” he asked.

  “Sure.”

  Carson handed her his phone and wrapped his arm around Tawny’s waist. After she took several pictures and returned his phone, he texted them to Tawny, and they went to watch a costume contest happening in another room.

  “I can’t believe you wanted a picture after griping about wearing a costume.”

  “I figured you might want to show them to Adeline.” He leaned in for a kiss and said, “It might be the only time you get to see me in a costume.”

  “That was so thoughtful, thank you. She’s more of a pink bows and lace type of girl, but I think she’ll get a kick out of them.” Her gaze slid down his body. “And now that I know how good you look in leather pants, I might have to fill my bedroom with costumes.”

  “There’s my naughty girl.”

  “I wonder if there’s a Chris Hemsworth costume?”

  “You mean Thor?” he asked.

  “No, actually, I meant Chris.”

  He grabbed her ribs, and she spun around, laughing as she dodged a crowd of people dressed up like the crew of Star Trek. He caught up to her in two strides and hauled her against him.

  “I don’t share,” he said in the sternest voice he could, but she was so damn adorable, laughing and flashing that smile. Christ. That smile undid him, and he had to laugh.

  She waggled her brows. “How about Chris Evans?”

  “Captain America,” he growled.

  She wound her arms around his neck and went up on her toes. “You’re very hot when you’re jealous. Can I call you Ronon tonight?”

  How can I be jealous of a frigging guy behind a costume? “We are definitely going to have a problem if you call me some other guy’s name. No more costumes for you.”

  “Darn it. I was thinking you might enjoy me dressed up as the chick in Blade Runner, but if you’d rather not—”

  “Wait,” he said, picturing her nearly naked, with a few strategically placed pieces of fabric and sparkles all over her body. “Let’s negotiate.”

  THEY GRABBED DINNER in the hotel, poring over the dozens of pictures they’d ended up taking throughout the afternoon and evening, and when they watched the movie, they snuggled and held hands. Carson must have kissed Tawny a hundred times, whispering sweet, important things that told her how serious he was about them, like, We’ll do more of this together and Are you allowed to take Adeline out? We could take her to see Beauty and the Beast. She didn’t think it was possible to fall any harder for him than she already had, but the way he’d begun including Adeline simply because he knew she was important to her brought a sense of bottomless joy.

  After the movie, they changed out of their costumes, and when Tawny came out of the hotel restroom she found Carson standing with his back to her at the end of the hall, his phone pressed to his ear. She waited for him to finish his call before joining him. He wrapped her in his arms, his face serious again.

  “The time’s going by too fast, Tabs. You’re leaving tomorrow.”

  A lump rose in her throat. “I know. I don’t want tonight to end.”

  “I’m coming with you. I’ll stay for a few weeks, meet Adeline. We can figure out if you want to open your business. I don’t care what we do. I’m not ready to be without you again.”

  She tried to swallow past the lump, but it swelled, allowing only a tight inhalation to pass. Blinking against damp eyes, she forced her words to come. “Your work?”

  “I’ve got it under control,” he assured her. “Your flight was booked, so I’ve made arrangements to use the company jet. We’ll leave at the same time as your original flight, around four.”

  Her heart beat so fast she could barely catch her breath. “You can do that? So fast?”

  “It’s done, baby. Unless you have an issue with it?”

  “Are you kidding?” Her costume dropped from her hands and she leaped into his arms. “I can’t believe it! You’re coming with me! You mean for now, right?” She was thrilled that they’d have more time, but she didn’t expect him to move there.

  “For now, yes. However long now is. I can’t be without you, baby.”

  She kissed him again and again, her head spinning. “I didn’t know how I would survive leaving half my heart here with you.”

  “Now you won’t have to.”

  Chapter Sixteen

  CARSON STARTLED AWAKE and reached for Tawny, finding an empty space. His gaze darted around the room. The bathroom light was off. He bolted from bed, pulled on a pair of briefs, and headed downstairs. “Tabs?”

  He found her sitting on the floor in front of the recliner, wearing the college sweatshirt he’d given her during that snowstorm way back when. The reading light beside the chair cast a glow around her. She looked up from the pile of letters in her lap with tears in her eyes, a sorrowful smile on her lips.

  “Baby, what’s the matter?” He crossed the room and sat beside her, wiping away her tears.

  “I woke up and realized I hadn’t finished going through the boxes. I’m sorry if I woke you.”

  “You didn’t. Are the letters sad?”

  She shook her head. “No. I mean, some are kind of sad, but my parents had the most beautiful relationship. My mom was funny and flirty. My dad told me she was, but it’s different seeing it in her own words. I wonder if I would have been like that if she hadn’t died.”

  “Baby, you are funny and flirty. I love who you are.”

  “But she sounds like she was so comfortable with herself. In the letters, she tells my father about parties she went to and how she wished he was there. I’ve always been like my dad, reserved and careful. I just wish I had gotten a chance to know her.”

  More tears slid down her cheeks. He wrapped her in his arms and pressed a kiss to her forehead.

  “I’m sorry you never had that chance to know her better, but I love your reserved, careful side as much as I adore your fun, flirty side. I was drawn to you from the very first time you looked at me from behind your beautiful long hair. And when you set those big green eyes on me, looking at me like I was your worst nightmare? Like, ‘what the hell could this big dumb guy know about anything?’”

  She laughed.

  “You had me at that very moment, Tabs. And the first time I heard that nervous laugh? Babe, my insides went all squirrely. And when you spoke, and all that quiet intelligence came out, my whole being came to life. Suddenly this beautiful, nervous, brilliant girl was my study partner, and she was the most adorably sexy person I’d ever seen. You were so far out of my league.” He brushed his thumb over her cheek, cradling her jaw as he’d done a million times and he knew he’d do a million more. “And then you were mine. You were right there with me nearly every night of the week, and for the first time in my life, I was afraid to make a move.”

  “You were not.”

  “Tabs?” he said flatly. “Did I make a move on you even once before that party? Did I try to kiss you? Touch you?”

  “No…”

  “I needed those drinks as much as you did the night of the party. Like I said, we’re perfect for each other.”

  “I never would have guessed.” She glanced down at the letter again and used the sleeve of the sweatshirt to wipe her tears.

  “I see you kept my sweatshirt,” he said, hoping to lighten the
mood.

  “Of course I kept it. It was in the box. I didn’t think Keith would appreciate it.” She waved the letters. “My parents’ relationship reminds me of us. When they finally realized they were a couple, the tone of the letters changed. Were we like that? When we went from friends to lovers, before I freaked out, did my tone change? Do you remember?”

  “Yeah. I remember.” He tucked her hair behind her ear so he could see her face more clearly. “I remember thinking you looked at me differently, and knowing I looked at you like I wanted you. I couldn’t sit close to you without getting turned on, and you always ended up snuggled beside me. I basically went through college sporting wood because of you.”

  She laughed. “Some part of me really likes knowing that.”

  He lifted her hand to his lips and kissed her knuckles. “But it was more than that, Tabs. I was sleeping with my best friend. You made me realize that sex was more than just something that made me feel good. We laughed, and teased. We were so volcanic. I don’t know how we survived it. I didn’t know it then, but while you were struggling with all those sexual urges, I was falling in love with you.” He tipped her chin up and kissed her. “That love has never gone away, and now it’s ten times as strong.”

  “For me, too,” she said. From beneath the stack of letters she withdrew a leather-bound journal and handed it to him.

  “What’s this?”

  “They’re letters I wrote to you and never sent.” She leaned her head against his shoulder.

  “We were together four or five nights a week, and you wrote me letters?”

  “Mm-hm. There aren’t that many, really, and some are more like diary entries than letters. I wrote on and off throughout college, and after graduation, when we were broken up, I kept writing. But I stopped when I started dating Keith. I had to try to move on.” She sighed, a small smile lifting her lips. “Try being the operative word.”

  “Are you sure you want me to read them?” he asked, feeling like he was invading her privacy.

  “I think you should. I ended things once, and I know I hurt you as badly as I hurt myself. It was the biggest mistake of my life. I know I won’t do it again, but I want you to know in your heart that I’ve always been yours. I don’t want you to have any questions about my love for you, and I think the only way for you to be one hundred percent certain is to know what I was feeling.”

  “Tabs, I trust you. You have nothing to prove to me, and you never will.”

  Her gaze dropped to the journal and then to the letters in her hand that her mother had written. “I’m learning so much about my parents through these letters. Read them. Please?”

  He opened the journal as Tawny turned back to the letters from her mother.

  Carson, I wonder if it’s wrong to have feelings for you. In just a few short weeks you’ve become my best friend, but I want so much more. You bring out a fun side of me I never knew existed. When you text, my heart leaps, and I know it shouldn’t. I could never handle being one of your many women, and I don’t want to ruin our friendship.

  He paused to process what he’d read before reading several more notes, each word burrowing into his heart.

  Carson, how am I supposed to handle the way you touch my face or push my hair out of my eyes when we’re studying? Your touches feel intimate. Do you know I cling to every one of them, hoping that one day we might be more?

  He could have written the same words to her back then. He pulled Tawny closer as she picked up another letter and he read the next few entries, stopping cold at the one dated just a week before they started sleeping together.

  They say when you fall in love you see fireworks or hear angels sing, but I think they’re wrong. I don’t see or hear those things. I tried so hard not to fall in love with you that all I heard was a voice in my head telling me not to screw up our friendship. But I guess we both know chemistry is more powerful than the human mind. I fell in love with your scent, the sound of your confident steps on your dorm room floor, the touch of your hand on my skin. I fell in love with the way you say my name—like a bird soaring through the sky, strong and fluid, then disappearing out of sight, soft and ethereal. I fell in love with your analytical mind and the way your brows knit when you’re thinking. And that tiny breath you take right before you make a decision. You probably don’t realize you do it, but for a few seconds I hold my breath until it comes, and then it fills me so completely, I know this is love.

  He pressed a kiss to Tawny’s head as she picked up another of her mother’s letters and began reading. How could he have been so blind back then? They’d lost so much time.

  Turning back to the journal, he read about their sexual relationship, feeling like a voyeur.

  Who is this person you’ve awakened in me? I’m the quiet girl, the smart, careful one. I’m definitely not a sexy, confident vixen, but when we’re together, that’s the person I become, and somehow I know it’s the person I’m supposed to be—with you. Only with you, Carson. What we do feels right and comes naturally. I never knew two people could be so close and yet so far apart. I wish for so many things. A real relationship with you, one where there’s only you and me, and where my shyness wouldn’t hold you back from going out and doing all the things you love to do with your friends. But I know that can never be.

  He skipped ahead, having a hard time reliving the years of wanting something he didn’t think he could ever really have while knowing that he could have had it. He gazed down at the page dated right before she’d ended things between them, and his stomach knotted.

  I don’t understand what’s happening to me, but thoughts of you, of us, of what we do together, have become an ominous shadow to my every move. I can’t even pay attention in class anymore. I’m full of hope and fear and you, Carson. I’m so full of YOU. What is that? I’m worried your friends know about what we do, or that my friends will find out. What will they think of me? “Chemistry Student by Day, Sexual Vixen by Night.” I’m so confused. I want you and I love what we do together. What does that make me? What does it mean? I feel the fear of being exposed pulling me away, and at the same time, when we’re together I’m drawn deeper into us. I’m scared, Carson, and the only time I’m not is when I’m in your arms. I know that’s not healthy, but it’s true.

  His heart couldn’t take much more. He turned to the last page, her careful cursive writing staring back at him.

  It’s been twenty-three days since I was in your arms. Seventeen days since we graduated and since I’ve seen my best friend. Do you know how easy it is to miss you? I hear your voice as I drift off to sleep. I see your face in my dreams. I can’t shake the feeling of your hands on my body, and I don’t want to. But I know I have to. Goodbye, Carson.

  AFTER READING HER mother’s letters and feeling the impact of her mother’s own words deepening her connection, Tawny knew that when Carson read her feelings they would have a different effect on him than just hearing about them. And she felt him grow tense with every word he read. But he was making such big, life-altering decisions to be with her. She wanted to be sure he knew exactly how deep her love for him went.

  He closed the journal and set it aside. His pained and watchful gaze searched her face, reaching for her thoughts. She set the last few unopened letters on the floor and crawled into his lap, straddling him so they were forced to face each other. She felt as raw and exposed as an open wound and saw that she’d caused the same pain in him. All wounds needed fresh air to heal, and this one was no different.

  His arms circled her, his hands spreading across her back possessively. “Do you resent me?”

  “What?” The question was so far out of the realm of what she’d expected, it took her a moment to form a response. “No, I don’t resent you. I love you, Carson. If we’d never met, I could have gone my whole life never knowing what true love was.”

  “But, Tabs. I hurt you. I made you confused and scared.”

  “You didn’t do either of those things. They were my issues caused
by my naïveté. It was my learning curve to deal with and figure out who I was as a woman.” She gazed down at the necklace she’d given him, the h shining against his chest, and felt herself smiling. “I see it this way. You know how sometimes kids are born with a feature that looks too big, like a nose or eyes, and people say they’ll grow into it?”

  He nodded.

  “That’s how I think of us. Our love was too big. We had to grow into it.” She touched his cheeks, the pain in his eyes tearing at her. “Did I make a mistake asking you to read them?”

  “No, babe. You were right. I understand even more clearly exactly what you went through. But it hurts. I hate knowing you were so confused, and the reality of it is that a few conversations back then could have helped. That’s the part that kills me. We could have saved each other so much pain if I hadn’t given you the space you asked for.”

  “Or if I had been brave enough to tell you the truth,” she said. “We’re both at fault, Carson, for the good and the hurtful. But I’m here now, and I’m yours if you still want me. I’m done running.”

  “Nothing will ever make me stop wanting you.”

  Chapter Seventeen

  THE NEXT MORNING after Carson left for work, Tawny made breakfast, remembering how they couldn’t keep their hands off each other their first morning together. It felt like she’d been there for a month, not just shy of a week. She showered and dressed in her skinny jeans, which went so well with the boots Carson had given her. She put on a white blouse with a scalloped lace hem and a wide collar, giving Carson easy access to her shoulders. She put on her most comfortable long cardigan, her favorite because it was soft, had big pockets, and was speckled with pink, black, and white. She felt pretty, and when she looked in the mirror, her eyes were brighter than they had been in years. She looked happy. Even her skin looked more radiant than it had before, and she couldn’t seem to stop smiling. When Tiffany called to say goodbye, she said she could hear the smile in Tawny’s voice. They talked for half an hour about the possibility of opening her own perfumery, which was another thing she couldn’t stop thinking about. This morning she and Carson had talked about it again, and they’d begun making a list of the things she’d need in order to move forward. It was beginning to feel real. Almost as real as my relationship with Carson.