Shadow Haven

by AJ Schippers

  Alexandra stood by the window with a smile. Living on the island came with a lot of privileges, but her favorite was currently unfolding before her eyes. A symphony of light flashes graced the sky, and it almost seemed as if a waterfall had opened up in the air, spilling its contents continuously. The sound of the rain hitting the windows was among one of her favorite sounds; it calmed her senses, and she hoped it would do the same for Julia.

  “Holy… I mean, wow.”

  Over her shoulder, Alexandra motioned for Julia to come closer. “The storm can’t hurt you. You’re safe inside.”

  Julia took slow steps forward, every step bringing her closer to the thing that frightened her to her inner core.

  Alexandra took a step back to give her some space. Julia’s blonde curls rhythmically moved along with every step that she took. Her hands were safely tucked in the sleeves of an oversized gray sweatshirt which fell loosely over the black skinny jeans she was wearing. She seemed to be enthralled with the lightning show that played out in front of her eyes. Alexandra had to stop herself from reaching out every time another clap of thunder exploded and Julia shivered.

  Julia’s softly voiced question interrupted her thoughts. “Is it true that you can tell how far away the thunder is from the time between the flash and the thunder itself?”

  “You have to count the seconds between the flash and the rumble, and divide that number by five. That will tell you how many miles away the thunder is.”

  “Good thing math is my strong suit,” Julia murmured sarcastically.

  “Currently, it’s right above us. Well, technically, it’s about a mile away. We’re safe, though. Judging by the howling of the wind and by the way the trees are swaying, I would say that we are about a nine or a ten on the Beaufort scale.”

  “On the what, now?”

  Alexandra pointed to the storm outside. “It’s a scale to measure the wind speed. The trees and hills take most of the hits. That’s why it’s calmer out here. If you were out on the ocean right now, you would encounter waves as high as thirty feet. I would not recommend it.”

  “And you’re sure we’re safe here?”

  “I promise absolutely nothing will happen to you.”

  It wasn’t hard, though, to see how Julia’s hands clutched the edge of her sleeves. Her knuckles almost turned white as she kept shifting her posture from her left to her right foot.

  “The view is truly spectacular, but…I’m finding it hard to see the beauty in it, like you said. Well, I mean, I can see it, but it doesn’t take away my fear of the storm itself.” Julia moved away from the window and took a seat on one of the couches. Having her back to the window made her feel safer.

  Following behind Julia, Alexandra sat down in her own chair. Their postures couldn’t be more different: Julia had pulled her knees up to her chest, her head resting on her arms, whereas Alexandra leaned back into the chair with her legs crossed as one foot slowly swayed up and down.

  “How old are you?” Julia asked.

  Alexandra’s eyebrows shot up. The question came out of nowhere, and she held up a hand when Julia started to apologize. “I’m thirty-four.”

  “You’re older than me. I’m twenty-six.”

  Silence filled the room, and somehow, Alexandra knew exactly what the next question was going to be. At some point, people always brought it up, and Julia was no exception.

  “Will you tell me how you got into the line of work that you’re in? I mean, your profession is kind of unusual. Surely you have some epic tale of how you got where you are?”

  “I’m not quite sure if it qualifies as an ‘epic tale.’ It happened over time. Even as a child, I didn’t take very kindly to taking orders, yet I loved giving them. I have a younger brother, and he was often the victim of that. I say ‘victim,’ but honestly, it wasn’t that bad. I think he liked doing my bidding, and as far as siblings go, I don’t think we treated each other any differently from how other siblings do.”

  “I wouldn’t know, but I’ll take your word for it,” Julia said.

  God, it made her curious. Every time Alexandra brought up the subject of family around Julia, she seemed to steer the conversation into a different direction, and Alexandra wanted to know why. Based on the brief flashes of hurt that appeared in Julia’s eyes, her story was one filled with pain. It made her heart ache for her.

  “Anyway,” Alexandra said. “You asked how I got into the line of work that I’m in. I think it all started when I entered my first relationship, if you can even call it that. I had a boyfriend, and we had different views as to who was in charge in our relationship. Not that anyone needs to be in charge, but I very much wanted to be. Sex wasn’t something that interested me too much, but the idea that I could perhaps take him with a strap-on was very exciting to me.”

  She chuckled when a light blush appeared on Julia’s cheeks.

  “He wasn’t as enthusiastic about that as I was and broke up with me. I discovered girls when I was about twenty. They were a lot more fun, and open to letting me top them. It felt good to be in charge when we were in bed, and over time, more and more of what happened in the bedroom seemed to seep through in my day-to-day life. I attended play parties and then decided to work fulltime as a professional dominatrix. At some point, I partnered up with Caroline and exchanged my playroom in the city for my island instead, and I suppose the rest is history.”

  “Is your family aware of what you do?”

  Alexandra shifted in her seat and looked out of the window. The dark clouds reminded her of the day her parents had died. It had been the same weather conditions: an impending storm, a wind that howled so loudly her ears had hurt. Her parents had gotten on a plane to attend an important business meeting. “My parents died when I was young. I was mostly raised by my grandfather. I suspect he knew, but if he did, he never mentioned it. He died when I was in my twenties. My brother, Samuel, knows but doesn’t really care. We have a good bond, but we’re not very close. We see each other a couple of times a year, but he’s much more interested in partying than spending time with his older sister.”

  “What does your partner think of it?”

  Alexandra smiled at Julia’s lack of subtlety. “I am single and have been for quite some time. Being in a relationship isn’t something that I’ve strived for. Besides, it’s already hard enough to find someone when you spend most of your time on an island, let alone to find someone who is interested in the same lifestyle as you.”

  “You couldn’t be with someone who’s not into the lifestyle?”

  “I’m not entirely sure. I mean…I keep saying ‘the lifestyle,’ but in reality, this is my life. Being in charge is an intricate part of my life, and I don’t want to shut that down in favor of having a ‘vanilla’ relationship. I would be unhappy, and so would my partner.”

  “That makes sense.” Julia’s words were followed by a big yawn.

  Alexandra leaned forward in her chair. “You must be tired. Perhaps you should try and catch up on some sleep.”

  “I don’t think I can,” Julia admitted. “I’m up now. Besides, who could possibly sleep through a raging storm like that?”

  “Give it some time,” Alexandra said. “You’ll soon get used to the weather here. That is, if you decide to stay, of course.”

  Julia couldn’t help but notice the vast difference in Alexandra’s behavior. She seemed more open today, and she appreciated the effort that Alexandra was making in sharing some more private details of her life. It seemed as if there was a whole other dimension to Alexandra, and Julia was both curious and determined to find out what else hid behind that hostility she had encountered on that very first day.

  “What’s on your mind?”

  They had eaten breakfast together and were now sitting on the covered part of the porch outside. The storm had subsided. The wind was now a soft breeze that gently blew through the trees. Julia couldn’t wait to get out there and start photographing the evidence of what the storm had left behind i
n its destructive path.

  “Nothing really,” Julia said. “I was just thinking that I’m excited to go out and take some photos.”

  “May I ask you an incredibly personal question?”

  Julia frowned and looked sideways at Alexandra, who slowly sipped from her coffee mug. “I suppose.”

  “I’ve noticed that you don’t really like to talk about your family. Is there a reason for that?”

  Julia was quiet for the longest time before she softly spoke. “Because I don’t have any. I like to keep my past in the past.”

  “Fair enough. I hope you can forgive my curiosity.”

  Alexandra seemed to be genuinely interested, as opposed to just prying for information. Perhaps it was time to open up a bit in return, just like Alexandra had earlier that morning. “According to my file,” said Julia, “my mother wasn’t mentally fit to take care of me, so I was given up for adoption and got placed into foster care. I never knew what was wrong with her. We share a last name, but that’s it. My father… I have no idea who he is. I got placed with my first foster family at six months old. I lived there until I was three. When my foster mother got pregnant, I got placed into a group home because they couldn’t take care of two children at once. At the age of five, I was placed with my second family.”

  She tucked her hair behind her ear and smiled. “I remember having a hard time adjusting to the new situation. They didn’t have any children, but they treated me as if I were their own. They learned how to have patience with me, and I learned how to trust. That trust got taken away when I turned ten. To this day, I still don’t know why they made me leave. I never saw them again.”

  “It sounds like the foster system failed you greatly,” Alexandra said with a frown.

  “It did. Living in group homes teaches you to grow up very quickly. They weren’t all bad, but it’s hard to feel connected to anyone when they keep moving you around. I had few possessions, and while I had some friends, at some point I’d always lose them because either they or I would be moved to a different house.” She took a shaky breath as she continued. “I knew the group home would kick me out as soon as I turned eighteen. So, at seventeen, I wanted to take control, and I ran away. I stole a hundred dollars from one of the caregivers when she dozed off and got on the first bus I could find.”

  Her eyes closed as she recalled the events of that day. She remembered vividly how the bus driver had looked at her as if she were nothing but a dirty street rat. “Eventually I fell asleep on the bus, and when I woke up, I was in a different state and decided that it would be the start of a new life.”

  She bought all the newspapers she could find to scout for a job and finally found one at a crappy restaurant that hired her on the spot. For weeks, she crashed on the couch in the back room, something the owner was aware of but never commented on, and worked all the shifts she possibly could. By the time she’d turned nineteen, she worked two jobs at the same time, slept little in between, and saved up as much money as she could to go to community college. During the week she worked day shifts so she could attend her classes at night, and on the weekends, she’d pick up extra night shifts.

  “Anyway, I moved between states a bit before I settled in Arizona,” she said. “That’s where I met Caroline while I was working at a diner.” With a gentle shake of her head, Julia licked her lips, which had gone dry from all the talking.

  “It’s hard to imagine Caroline at a diner, but then again, it seems like the kind of place she’d go to for business meetings with clients. Remote and private.”

  “Yeah. She came in with a client and was desperately trying to defuse a situation I can’t recall for the life of me. At the time, I remember being annoyed by how much time they took up by arguing back and forth. Her client got so worked up they started bothering the other customers. I walked over to her and offered her a solution for her client’s problem. She was impressed. She handed me a business card and told me to come in for an interview. It wasn’t even a month later that she showed me around the office and I was hired without ever having done an interview.”

  Alexandra smiled. “Caroline must have been impressed by your attitude.”

  “I suppose so.” She stifled a yawn and looked over at Alexandra apologetically. “I think I’m going to take a nap. All this talking has exhausted me, and with the early morning start, I could use a nap.”

  “Of course. I should do some work. Thank you for opening up to me,” Alexandra said earnestly.

  “Dinner at the same time as usual?”

  Alexandra nodded and Julia excused herself. She took quick paces to her room, and when she finally reached her bed, she nearly jumped on it as she hugged the pillow closer to her.

  Opening up to Alexandra had used all the energy she had left, and as her eyes closed, she drifted off into a world where she no longer needed to talk or think about whatever lay in her past.

  Julia pushed the sunglasses higher up her nose as she walked further down the road. She’d woken to find the sun shining so brightly, as if the storm had never happened, and now ached to take some more pictures of the island. As she walked, she could see some of the damage the storm had done: small branches that had been ripped off the trees, sand that lay in small piles on the road, and birds that emerged from their shelter and cocked their heads around to see if it was safe now.

  She had never been much of a bird-watcher, but even she had to admit that it was fun to watch them fly about without a single worry in the world. Their fluttering wings made her feel calmer as she walked further.

  Something inside of her was unsettled, though. Perhaps it was the trip down memory lane that she had taken earlier. Alexandra seemed to be able to peel away at her layers, just like she’d said, and it made Julia wary. It had taken her years to open up to Caroline about her past, most of which she had revealed after having had one glass of wine too many. Caroline had listened to her, offered a shoulder when Julia had gotten emotional, and then had never brought it up again. It was something she had appreciated but now… Alexandra didn’t seem like the kind of person who’d just let it go.

  Her eyes closed for a moment, and she thought back to that time in the cove. Julia inhaled sharply, remembering the way Alexandra’s lips had brushed against her ears, making promises that had made Julia…well, wet. The promises weren’t even meant for her, yet her body had reacted to them as if they were.

  BDSM had always been one of those things that she was curious about, yet at the same time, she didn’t want anything to do with it. It made her feel like a weirdo for her own unnatural desires. The idea of giving up control, handing the reins over to someone else? That concept was utterly terrifying. What if they left? Everyone else in her life had.

  No. The only person who would be in control over Julia would be Julia herself. Except… When Alexandra started whispering promises in Julia’s ear, part of her wished Alexandra would put those words into action.

  Not that she would ever tell Alexandra that. The woman would have a field day with that information, and Julia was here to relax, not learn the finer arts of BDSM. No, Julia was going to have the relaxing vacation she came here for, BDSM be damned.

  “Now, where’s that cove again?” she said out loud. Julia wanted to add a photo of it to her personal collection—a memory so intimate only she would know what it meant. A moment in time where Alexandra had, briefly, touched on all the desires Julia had never been able to express in previous relationships. Her last girlfriend had called her “passive,” and that comment had made her insecure enough to never want to enter another relationship again.

  It took her an eternity, but when she finally found the cove Julia smiled in relief. She took off the camera strap from her shoulder and crouched down, holding the camera in her hands. Her index finger slowly moved over the small crack in the corner of the screen. She had dropped it once, learned her lesson, and then held on tightly ever since. Julia didn’t think it would survive another fall to the ground.

&nbs
p; The sun shone brightly, making the ocean look bluer than her eyes, and she waited for the perfect moment, slightly adjusting the lens before snapping the picture. No matter what, she knew it would look amazing once she uploaded the image to her laptop.

  Julia placed the strap around her neck and carefully stepped onto the rocks that would lead her to the sandy part of the cove. In much the same fashion as Alexandra had before, she kicked off her sneakers and dug her toes into the sand. She got her camera out once more and snapped picture after picture of her feet as the water washed over them. There were small, flat rocks like the kind Alexandra had skipped on the water, and branches that had been torn from trees.

  She frowned when she felt something drip on her head. As she looked up, the white clouds seemed to be on the run from the black one that chased them. Despite it making for a beautiful photo opportunity, she didn’t want to risk her camera getting wet from the rain that now fell quickly, almost hurting her skin from the intensity of the drops.

  “Shit, shit, shit,” she muttered as she quickly ran to the rocks that would lead her back onto the road. Julia shoved the camera beneath her shirt, hoping that would shelter it somewhat from the rain, and stepped onto the first rock. There were three of them, each boulder leading onto the next one, and slightly inclining in height. The moment her feet met the second rock, she remembered that her sneakers still lay on the sand. She turned around and, in her haste, forgot about the first boulder. Her foot slipped, and as she fell, Julia couldn’t help but think about Alexandra’s warning and about how pissed she was going to be that Julia had ventured out on her own. All her worries dissipated when her vision did as well.

  Her last thought before losing consciousness was that Alexandra would have to wait.

  Alexandra hummed as she walked through the greenhouse. She had spent most of the day cooped up in her office and was growing tired of it. A glance at the clock had told her it was nearly dinnertime, so after having shut down the computer, she had walked over to the greenhouse to find some vegetables for tonight’s dinner.