Shadow Haven

by AJ Schippers

  “Not a chance in hell,” Alexandra said as she looked out of the window. “You can take the car and leave it there. We’ll pick it up later. I don’t need Julia to catch pneumonia on top of her concussion. She takes advantage of it.” She grinned when Julia huffed and gave her a light shove.

  Julia watched Nicky and Ella drive off through the window. “So,” she drawled and caught her lip between her teeth when Alexandra turned to her.

  “We’re alone.” Alexandra wiggled her brows. “Come on, let’s sit on the couch. It’s time to have a serious conversation.”

  Chapter 17

  “Don’t look so worried,” Alexandra said as she sat down in her chair. “I just want to talk. It’s nothing bad, promise.”

  “You could’ve fooled me with your whole ‘let’s talk about something serious’ announcement.” Julia looked at her with narrowed eyes.

  But Alexandra couldn’t help but smile in adoration when a light blush reddened Julia’s cheeks, though Alexandra tried to cover it up with a small cough. Her smile faltered anyway as she recalled the events that she was going to share with Julia. It was time. Julia had waited patiently, and the only way for them to move forward was for all the cards to be on the table, no matter how much it hurt.

  “I suppose what I am about to tell you is serious. I just meant that it has nothing to do with you. Do you remember when I told you that I had a bad experience with a client?”

  Julia nodded. “It’s why you switched to an all-female clientele.”

  “That’s right. When I first started working as a professional, I didn’t know what I was getting myself into. It was hell to figure out the details of how I wanted it to work. Using Shadow Haven as a base for my sessions felt like the right decision. You know how private it is. But privacy can also have a negative side to it.” Alexandra sighed as she fiddled with her thumbs.

  She had considered telling Julia about Marcus for quite some time now—the truth about him, how his actions had affected her, and how she was now ready for things to change once again, for the better. But it was change nonetheless, and change? Well… It scared her.

  “His name was Marcus. He wasn’t a big actor yet, but Caroline took him on because of his potential. Though, after what he did, Caroline made sure he would never get another acting job again.”

  “God bless Caroline,” Julia said.

  “Indeed,” Alexandra agreed. “When he first came here, he seemed like a nice guy. He was older than me, and he had some…questionable kinks, but you learn to see past those fairly quickly.”

  “What kind of questionable kinks?” Julia rested her head on her hands.

  “I’m not sure I should tell you,” Alexandra said with a sad smile. “You may want to run off and never look at me again.”

  Julia shook her head. “Tell me.”

  “He liked to be treated as a pig. He’d oink for me, and he was heavily into humiliation.” Alexandra laughed when Julia’s eyes grew wide. “I told you. Lots of kinks out there. It isn’t one of mine, but I got paid to do my job, and I am very good at my job.”

  “I know,” Julia said.

  “He would schedule session after session, and it became uncomfortable for me. He was controlling, demanded to know what other clients I was seeing, what I was doing to them. He wanted us to be exclusive. Finally, we had a long talk about it, and I told him that would never happen. He seemed to accept it.”

  Alexandra’s voice trailed off briefly. “I should have been more careful. I knew in my gut that something was wrong, but I ignored my instincts. I left the island for a couple of weeks during the hurricane season, and when I came back, he was at the house. It frightened me, and I asked him what he was doing here. He gave me some weak excuse about getting the dates wrong in his calendar, and while I didn’t exactly believe him, I didn’t question him on it further either.

  “We had another big fight that weekend, and I told him that it would probably be best to end our sessions. He didn’t agree with that. He said he would ruin my reputation as a professional dominatrix, and I believed him. So, when he begged me for another chance, I gave it to him. It seemed to be better from that point forward. I locked him in the cage for days on end, and when he finally left, I was surprised to feel nothing but utter relief. I called Caroline and told her I didn’t want him as a client anymore. She would break the news to him, and I thought that would be the end of it.”

  “What happened?”

  “Caroline called me and said she had cancelled all my appointments. She didn’t want to tell me over the phone what the reason was but said she would be coming over soon. I thought Marcus had done something and that Caroline would drop our partnership. She came by three days later and sat me down. One of her employees had come across a website that had several videos of me on it. Videos of my sessions with clients, videos of me just lounging around the house, and videos of me doing…more private things in my bedroom.”

  “Oh my God,” Julia gasped.

  “We went through the house and found several cameras. I still don’t know how he did it. I don’t know how he got the video feeds, and I don’t think I want to know. It was a gross invasion of my privacy, and it felt that way too. We tried to get the website taken down, but you know how it works. Once something is up on the Internet, you can never take it down completely. We managed to shut down the website, but all I have to do is go online and search for the videos, and I can find them without too much trouble.”

  “Did you sue him?”

  “No. Caroline got me a bunch of lawyers, and they tried their best, but it was no use. They couldn’t prove it was him. Apparently, he was good at hiding his identity.” Alexandra shrugged. “I was furious for months. I checked my house every day. I never found any more hidden cameras, but it took me forever to shake off the feeling that I was being watched. I didn’t feel comfortable on the island anymore. It must seem silly, but the idea that someone had been watching my every move, privately and professionally, messed with me. I lived on a private island that, all of a sudden, wasn’t private anymore.”

  “That’s not silly at all, Alexandra,” Julia whispered.

  “After that, everything changed for me. I didn’t like to be touched, because I felt as if people were always watching me. So I didn’t allow it anymore, not even privately. I became crueler with clients, taking my anger and insecurity out on them. I’m sure I lost a few of them because of it, and I probably should have taken a break from work in those first few months. It took me a long time to feel comfortable again. I still have bad days, although I haven’t had those days since you got here.” Alexandra gave Julia a small wink. “You must be good for me.”

  “I’m sorry that happened to you,” Julia said softly. “I hope you know I would never do such a thing to you. That’s horrible.”

  “I know.” Alexandra’s smile quickly faded. “There’s something utterly painful about knowing that there are videos of me out there that people can watch on a daily basis, and there’s nothing I can do to stop it. I think it’s why I like being here so much. I have a hard time going out in public. I always wonder if people recognize me or if they’ve seen the movies. I feel naked when I go out into the world, and I hate feeling that way. Marcus took away all control over my own body, and for me, not allowing anyone to touch me has given me back some of that control.”

  “That’s understandable.”

  “I’m hesitant to let you touch me because I’m convinced that once I give you that power, I will lose myself in it,” Alexandra quietly admitted. “I’ve become quite attached to you over the last couple of days. You’re the first person I’ve encountered that I’m contemplating showing myself to, and not just because I know you want it. I want it as well, but I think part of me shut down after the whole video ordeal. I lost myself in my profession, and it’s almost as if I don’t know how to be a normal human being anymore.”

  Julia stood up from the couch and moved over to Alexandra, taking her hand into her own. “I u
nderstand that you have been through something very traumatic. I don’t want you to be uncomfortable, and if me touching you makes you uncomfortable, then I won’t do that. You don’t have to give up control to me. I want you to be in charge of your own feelings and decisions.”

  A wry smile appeared on Alexandra’s face. “Not letting you touch me would be choosing to stay in this closed-off world.” She moved her arms around to indicate the space around her. “I don’t want that. I want to be myself with you. You deserve that. I deserve that too. I am just not sure how to do it. I don’t like to feel vulnerable, and once I let you touch me, all my walls will come down. I am not sure how to handle that. I like to be in control.”

  With a shake of her head, Julia pulled Alexandra to her feet. “I understand your hesitance, I do.” The gentle way she cupped Alexandra’s cheek sent warmth through Alexandra’s entire body. “It’s okay to let go. You don’t have to be strong all the time. Being vulnerable doesn’t change who you are, nor will I look at you differently. For once, let me be strong for you. Come here, please.”

  Julia opened her arms and took a step back, giving Alexandra all the space to come to her.

  She moved into Julia’s arms and wrapped her arms around her waist as she pulled Julia in tighter. “What the hell am I going to do with you?” she murmured when Julia nuzzled her nose in Alexandra’s neck.

  “Delicious things, hopefully.” Julia grinned. “Tell me what I can do to make you trust me,” she whispered. “I don’t want to ever hurt you.”

  “I do trust you. I know you wouldn’t hurt me. That’s not why I won’t let you touch me, or why I am hesitant to let you.” Alexandra ran her fingers through Julia’s hair as she pulled back from the hug. “I will get there. You will have to trust in that while I work up enough courage.”

  Julia nodded. “I can wait. Take all the time you need.” She brushed her lips against Alexandra’s. “I’m serious. I can wait.”

  “You’re a good girl.” Alexandra smiled as she took Julia’s hand and squeezed it. “I think I’m done with this conversation for now. I’d much rather talk about something else.”

  “Oh?”

  Alexandra’s eyebrows raised. “Lead the way. You know where to go.”

  Julia pulled Alexandra toward the playroom.

  “What are we going to talk about?”

  “Limits.”

  “Limits?”

  Alexandra grinned at the soft, tentative way Julia had repeated the word back to her. “I told you we would.” She closed the door to the playroom behind them and motioned for Julia to sit on the bed as she positioned herself on top of the cage. “I think this may be the most uncomfortable conversation we are going to have, but it’s a very important one. So, don’t think too much. Just answer the questions, okay?”

  With crossed legs, Julia leaned backward on the bed. “Okay, I’m ready.”

  “I want you to answer these the following way. Green means you are interested. Orange means you might be, but you want to take it slow or you are unsure. Red means you absolutely do not want it. Understood?”

  Julia bit her lip. “Got it.”

  Alexandra put on her most serious expression, then suppressed a chuckle as Julia sat up very straight, as if readying herself.

  “Anal sex.”

  Julia scrunched up her nose. “Red.”

  “Okay, how about floggers and paddles?”

  “Orange.”

  “Nipple clamps?” She raised an eyebrow when Julia stayed quiet. “Julia?”

  “I don’t know,” Julia said, her gaze casting itself to the floor. “Orange?”

  “Good girl. Come here.” Alexandra smiled as Julia stood up slowly and made her way over. “I might give you a checklist. These are all the things I wanted to know for now. How are you feeling?”

  “Nervous,” Julia admitted. “You’ve been teasing me about this for days now. I’m both terrified and excited that it’s going to happen, I don’t know what to expect.”

  “What do you think will happen?”

  “Alexandra.” Julia’s eyes looked up at hers, but no words were spoken.

  “Not an answer.” Alexandra grabbed the fabric of Julia’s shirt and pulled her closer. “Answer me.”

  “You’re going to play with me.”

  “That’s right. I am going to tease you and bring you close, and I’ll stay within your limits. I want you to go to the kitchen and get me the ice cubes from the freezer. Put them in a bowl.”

  “How many?”

  “Hmm, let’s see.” Alexandra pushed Julia gently away and hopped off the cage. “Five.”

  After Julia left the room, Alexandra got the leather cuffs out of the dresser and grabbed a flogger from the wall. It was the same flogger Julia had held in her hands when she first had stepped into this room. Alexandra smiled at how far they had come. She was excited that they were finally going to play with her equipment. She had dreamed about this, and part of her wondered how Julia was going to react to being truly tied up now. So far, Julia had always been able to roam around freely, but now she would be immobilized, and that was a completely different sensation.

  She placed the cuffs, and the flogger next to them, on top of the padded cage then looked around to see what else she would need. Part of her wanted to play with the ropes, but that could wait for another day. It excited her to think about the possibility that one day soon she would be suspending Julia in the air. But today was not that day.

  “Got them,” Julia said as she handed the bowl of ice to Alexandra.

  “Good girl,” Alexandra said. She put the bowl next to the cuffs, and when she saw how Julia stared at them, she pulled Julia closer and brushed her hair out of the way. Alexandra’s fingertips trailed the soft skin. “What’s your safe word?”

  “Magic,” Julia breathed out when Alexandra’s lips pressed against the warm skin.

  “Are you going to use it?”

  “When I—Oh! That was a trick question,” Julia groaned. “I will if I want you to stop.”

  Alexandra wrapped an arm around Julia’s waist and pressed the front of her body into her back. “I’ve dreamed about this, Julia.” Her hand moved further down south and with a swift movement, unbuttoned Julia’s pants. Her tongue swirled over Julia’s pulse point on her neck as she pulled down the zipper. “Are you ready for this?”

  “Yes,” Julia whispered as she rested her head on Alexandra’s shoulder. A soft whimper escaped her lips when Alexandra’s hand moved under her shirt and slowly trailed upward until she reached the swell of Julia’s left breast. She cupped the breast with her hand and squeezed. When she could feel the nipple harden beneath her touch, she moved her hand to do the same with the other breast.

  Alexandra’s lips curled up in a small smile when Julia trembled beneath her fingers and her hand moved further down south. She lingered above the waistline of Julia’s pants.

  “Please,” Julia whimpered.

  “What do you want?”

  “Touch me.”

  “Is that how you’re supposed to ask me to touch you?” She dug her fingernails into the muscles of Julia’s stomach. “I do believe I’ve taught you better than that. Take off your shirt and bra.”

  Julia did as instructed. She threw her shirt and bra on the bed and chuckled when Alexandra tickled her sides.

  “How attached are you to your underwear?”

  “What the hell,” Julia said, her voice hesitant. “Not very, I suppose.”

  “Good. Take off your pants, keep your underwear on.” She walked over to the cage and grabbed the cuffs as Julia took off her pants. “Move over to the cross.” She bit her lip to keep herself from smiling as Julia took tentative steps toward the cross and turned around when she reached it.

  “I’m nervous.” Julia brought her hands together.

  Alexandra was by her side in a second and pressed her lips against Julia’s. Her tongue licked over Julia’s lower lip before sucking it into her mouth as she pushed Julia into the
cross. Julia moaned softly as they kissed fervently. When the moment ended, Julia was panting.

  “You don’t have to be nervous,” Alexandra said. “I’m right here, and I’m going to take good care of you. I promise we will take it as slow as you need. Do you trust me?”

  Julia nodded.

  “Hands above your head.” Her hands trailed softly along Julia’s upraised arms until she reached her wrists. She placed the cuff on one wrist and connected it to the small chain. She repeated the action with the other wrist and took a step back to admire her work. “How does that feel?”

  “Good,” Julia said after a moment.

  “You look absolutely beautiful like that. I should have done that days ago so you wouldn’t have been able to run off.”

  Julia blushed. It only made her look more gorgeous.

  “Do you want to run now, Julia?”

  “No.” She moaned as Alexandra took a nipple between her thumb and forefinger and rolled it between them until it was rock hard.

  “What was your dream about, Julia?” Alexandra asked casually as she moved to the cage to grab the bowl with ice.

  “It’s embarrassing,” Julia muttered.

  “Which is why I want to hear it. You had such fun in your dream, you should share.”

  Julia took a deep breath and sighed. “I dreamed that you were on top of me and that you dragged my hands over your body. You told me to put one finger inside of you and to go slow.”

  “Slow is good. Do you like slow, Julia?”

  “Is that a trick question?”

  “It’s a question that requires an answer.” She moved over to Julia. “Open up.” A twinge of desire ignited in Alexandra’s belly when Julia groaned at the ice cube placed in her mouth. “Answer me.”

  “Yeah,” came the garbled response.

  Alexandra pursed her lips in a show of authority. “Don’t swallow.”

  She took a step back to admire her work, and her tongue darted out of her mouth to wet her dry lips as she watched the ice cube melt in Julia’s mouth. The way the water trickled down Julia’s jaw and down her chest was absolutely enthralling. Alexandra moved over, crouched down and looked at Julia. She kissed the skin above Julia’s panties and licked her way slowly up her body until she reached a rigid peak. With delight, she sank her teeth into the hardened nipple and bit down as Julia moaned. Her tongue flicked against it before she wrapped her lips around the hard nub and sucked it into her mouth.