Shadow Haven

by AJ Schippers

  “E.”

  Alexandra removed her fingers, and Julia cried out at the loss of contact. “F is for fail,” Alexandra said as she stood up and uncuffed Julia before turning her around. She cupped Julia’s cheek and smiled. “You got so far! But not far enough.”

  “I’m sorry,” Julia pouted. She was positively throbbing and wanted to slap herself for screwing up such a simple task. Except the task wasn’t at all simple, especially with Alexandra throwing out her not-so-casual statements.

  “It’s all right, dear. You don’t have to apologize to me. You’re the one who isn’t going to get the release she’s so desperately craving, I’m sure.”

  “That’s so unfair.”

  Alexandra opened her arms, and smiled when Julia practically crawled within them to hug her tight. She stroked small, soothing circles on Julia’s back. “I am so proud of you. This is not unfair, though. Give me a week, and I’m sure you’ll be ready to kill me if you still haven’t been allowed to come by then.”

  Julia gasped. “A week? Are you kidding me?”

  “I’m afraid not, but who knows? I may be persuaded. I want to see how much you can take.”

  “I am going to hate you at the end of the week,” Julia said.

  “Possibly so.” Alexandra laughed and placed a small kiss on Julia’s shoulder. “But I’m sure you’ll forgive me once I let you come, won’t you?”

  “Probably.”

  “Tell me, how that was for you?”

  “Perfect,” Julia said with a hoarse voice. “I never thought it would be like that. The flogger felt nothing like I expected. It didn’t hurt, but I can see how it could hurt if you used it on other places.”

  Alexandra nodded. “What about the cuffs and the cross?”

  “I liked being immobilized, although it did feel weird. I’m sure I’m going to be very sore tomorrow.” She wrapped her arms tighter around Alexandra. “Thank you for giving me this. I wish I had known sooner what it could be like. I wouldn’t have fought you so hard on it.”

  “I’m sure you’ll be fighting me on lots more things to come, but I’m glad you trusted me enough to do this today. I have quite a few plans for you. How’s that throb between your legs coming along?”

  Julia burrowed a hand into Alexandra’s hair. “Please stop.” She squirmed. “I don’t think I can take any more teasing.”

  “I don’t think you quite know what you are capable of. You are much more powerful than you think you are, and watching you grow is such a fantastic journey for me to observe. Thank you for trusting me.”

  Chapter 19

  Whatever torture Julia thought she had been put through over the last two weeks paled in comparison to what Alexandra put her through her over the next five days. After their session, Alexandra had taken her to bed for some good cuddling, only to wake Julia up by running her tongue along her slit in the morning. But no matter how hard Julia begged and pleaded, Alexandra was relentless and wouldn’t allow her to climax. Throughout the first day of Julia’s “no-orgasm cleanse,” the Domme had teased her mercilessly. By the time it was time for bed, Julia felt as if she was on a never-ending high.

  On the second day, Alexandra tied Julia to the bed and made her watch as Alexandra pleasured herself, still fully clothed. Julia wasn’t quite sure what tortured her the most: that Alexandra still refused to show her body or that she was pressing into Julia, the fabric of her pants against her bare skin making Julia crave release once more. When Alexandra threw her head back in climax, Julia groaned and begged for one of her own, but to no avail.

  On day three, they lounged around the house, played cards and watched two movies. On that day, Alexandra decided to teach Julia how to cook. Except, Julia didn’t do any cooking. Instead, she was bent over the kitchen table as Alexandra introduced her to various kitchen utensils. She used a wooden spoon to slap her ass and then made Julia guess which utensil she was using as she alternated with other implements. Every correct guess earned her a small reward, while every wrong guess was met with a stinging blow from the wooden spoon.

  By the end, Julia was intimately aware of which utensil Alexandra used and its proper function in the kitchen. It had been a lesson she would never forget, and Alexandra had promised her that the next cooking lesson would involve actual food—whatever that meant. She half expected Alexandra to use her as a plate to dish out all the food.

  The next day, Julia broke down in tears when Alexandra once more denied her the orgasm she so desperately craved. She had screamed out every swear word in her vocabulary as Alexandra rubbed ice cube after ice cube against her clit. The numbness that eventually took over hurt like nothing she had ever felt before, and as tears streamed down her face, Alexandra held her and gently stroked through her hair, asking quietly if Julia was okay. And she was. She was perfectly fine; she never wanted their play to stop. She just wanted her damned orgasm and for the throb between her legs to finally be put to rest.

  Alexandra was more sensual the next day, touching Julia as she had her tied up in the playroom. The flogger graced her skin in a gentle manner, and she could physically feel the exhaustion leave her body as Alexandra loved on her with floggers, paddles, and soothing strokes of soft fingertips. At the end of the day Julia crawled into Alexandra’s arms, and as her head rested underneath Alexandra’s chin, she fell into a peaceful sleep.

  It was day six of the no-orgasm cleanse, and Julia’s cranky mood had prompted Alexandra to suggest a long walk for them both. Julia’s irritation vanished once they returned to the house and snuggled together on the couch.

  Alexandra had been asking her questions, some serious, some utterly ridiculous like, “Would you rather eat soup with a fork or a knife?” Julia had given a very passionate response as to why the only proper replacement for the spoon was a fork. Alexandra had disagreed, of course, which had prompted a more intimate conversation as they spoke about their relationship and what they were expecting of each other.

  “I don’t have to wear a collar or anything, right?” Julia asked. She had thought about the details of their friendship and what it would entail once they entered into a real relationship, and she still had so many questions. From the porn movies she had seen on the Internet, she knew that submissives often wore collars and leashes, and that thought made her queasy.

  Alexandra shook her head. “Only if you want to. I know in the BDSM community it’s a big statement of trust and ownership, but I would never make you wear that if you didn’t want it.”

  “Good. I don’t think I would ever want to leave the house if you made me wear that.”

  Alexandra’s eyes narrowed for a moment. She brushed some of Julia’s hair away from her face. “I’ve told you before, Julia. I will never make you do anything you do not want to do. You are in complete control of your own destiny.” Alexandra grinned. “Well, to some extent. I quite like the thought of having you inside the house for the foreseeable future.”

  Neither woman spoke a word for the next few minutes. Julia didn’t want to think about when she had to leave. She wanted that topic to be locked away in a dungeon. For now, she wanted to enjoy Alexandra’s company, and she knew Alexandra felt the same way.

  “I’m not going to lie, though. The thought of having you on a leash does excite me. Can you imagine?” Alexandra asked. She grabbed a fistful of Julia’s hair, and pulled her head back. “I could draw you close, have you crawl around on your knees.” Alexandra leaned in closer and slid her tongue over Julia’s pulse point before bringing her mouth to her ear. “Would you want that?”

  Julia groaned. “If you keep licking me like that, I’m not going to be able to say no to anything. Right about now, everything sounds good.”

  Alexandra released the firm grip on Julia’s hair and gave her a tender kiss instead. “Everything, hmm? What would you like me to do then? Do you want a spanking?”

  “I could do with an orgasm.” Julia drew her closer. “I’ve been good.”

  Alexandra laughed and let h
er head rest on Julia’s shoulder. “Do you make the rules now? If you’ve been so good, perhaps I should give you some chocolate?”

  “I don’t want the chocolate, though,” Julia said. “My body is frustrated! This is highly unfair.” Julia had perfected her pout over the last few days and bit her cheek to keep herself from laughing how good it was. “Pretty please?”

  Alexandra shook her head. “I told you, it’s going to be at least a week.”

  “You said you could be persuaded, though.” She got up from the couch and pushed Alexandra back onto it, straddling her hips.

  “My, someone’s feeling frisky,” Alexandra said as Julia guided herself down further on her lap. “Are you being a top today?”

  “No. Is this not okay?” She didn’t want to push Alexandra into anything that made her uncomfortable, but she’d be damned if she wasn’t going to tease Alexandra back at least a little bit.

  “You’re okay,” Alexandra slid her hands toward Julia’s ass and cupped it firmly with a small squeeze. “I’ll tell you when to stop.”

  Julia gave a small nod as she bit her lip. “I’m not the same person as I was when I first got here,” she quietly admitted. “You changed me.”

  “In a good or bad way?”

  “Mostly good. I can’t wrap my mind around it. I’m trying to understand how you could have completely changed me. You saw right through me. How did you do that?”

  Alexandra smiled. “It wasn’t hard to see. It was all right there beneath the surface. I didn’t do anything to you, aside from making you see what was inside you all along. Do you regret it?”

  “What?” Julia frowned. “No, not at all. I’m just surprised, I guess. It’s like…” Julia fell quiet as she thought about what she was trying to say. It was incredibly hard to explain to the other woman exactly what was going through her head, and a conversation was not exactly what had been on her mind. But then again, this always seemed to be the way things worked between them. They would start off with a joke and end up having a serious conversation. She didn’t mind, though.

  “It’s like what?”

  “You make me feel worth something,” Julia quietly confessed.

  Alexandra cupped Julia’s face. “You are worth so much more than you give yourself credit for. I’m glad you feel it now. You’ve beaten yourself up long enough. You are worth your weight in gold, and then some.”

  And when Alexandra’s lips touched hers, she believed those words to be true.

  “This isn’t what I planned on doing,” Julia said in between kisses. “I was trying to persuade you.”

  “Tell you what. Give me one convincing argument as to why you deserve an orgasm. If I deem it to be true, I will give it to you. If not, we’ll add another day to your denial.”

  “Oh my God.” Julia’s mouth fell open. “That’s… No! I know you. You’re going to say it’s a shitty argument. I can’t do eight days, Alexandra!”

  “I’m sure you can. You’re just in the wrong mindset. Are you trying to tell me you’ve never gone longer than a week without an orgasm in your life?”

  “Well, no. But it’s different now. I don’t tease myself relentlessly only to deny myself the pleasure that comes with it.”

  “Hence why it’s called tease and denial.” Alexandra smirked. “You love it, though. I can tell. If you didn’t, you wouldn’t be in such a good mood. Your little meltdown the other day had nothing to do with not liking it. You were exhausted, and I wouldn’t have expected anything less than that. But since you have been such a good girl, I’m giving you an honest chance. Give me a compelling argument, and I’ll let you come.”

  “What the hell,” Julia breathed out. “This is so embarrassing. I cannot believe I have to argue to give my body what it deserves and needs. I guess it’s not all that embarrassing, now that I think about it. Frustration. That’s it. This is so frustrating!”

  “Just you wait until you get home and I make you touch yourself and give me a detailed report the next day. I’m sure that would be embarrassing if you’ve never done that before.”

  “You wouldn’t!”

  “Try me. Now hush and think about what you really want, and give me the best argument that has ever been deliberated.”

  Julia bit her lip as Alexandra wrapped her arms around her. She could fall asleep right then and there, but there was one thought in the back of her mind that kept her awake. An orgasm. Her climax. The release she had been craving. Her eyes closed, and for a moment, she cursed herself for not paying better attention in her debate classes. “I want it,” didn’t really seem like the type of defense that would give her any results, and “I need it” was a justification that would undoubtedly add another day to her orgasm-denial cleanse.

  “What are you chuckling about?” Alexandra asked with a soft purr.

  “It’s private,” Julia said as she raised an eyebrow. “Stop distracting me.”

  Alexandra reached out, and Julia gulped at the stinging sensation that the flat hand left on her ass. “Stop telling me what to do. You have sixty seconds before you lose your chance.”

  “Oh my God, seriously?”

  “We don’t have all day, dear.”

  “We’re on an island and literally have nothing to do. We have all the time in the world.”

  “Thirty seconds.”

  “Shit.” Instead of thinking of an argument, her inner monologue now consisted of counting down the seconds. The closer she got to zero, the faster her heart started pounding.

  “Ten.”

  “Fuck.”

  “Just for that, we’re going to jump straight to five,” Alexandra grinned.

  “Alexandra!”

  “Four.”

  Julia sat up straight and placed both hands on Alexandra’s shoulders as she stared straight into those eyes that had captivated her from the beginning.

  “Three.” Alexandra arched a brow.

  “I don’t need any more time,” Julia said with a newfound determination.

  “Oh? Well, do tell, little one.”

  The term of endearment made her reply softly. “I want to be a good girl for you.”

  Alexandra smiled. “You’re on the right path. Continue.”

  “I don’t want this orgasm because I need it.” She bit her lip when Alexandra quirked an eyebrow. “Okay, so maybe I need this orgasm a little bit, but mostly I want it because I want to show you exactly how good you make me feel. How I have changed since I got here.”

  “Go on.”

  “I want to give it as a gift to you.”

  “You want an orgasm as a gift to me?”

  “Yeah. I want to gift you the pleasure of my body.” She couldn’t help the cheeky grin that came with that.

  Alexandra’s back arched as she laughed loudly. “You’re well on your way to day eight now, dear.”

  Damnit. That wasn’t at all what she was going for. She needed this orgasm like she needed oxygen to breathe, and she was going to get it over her own dead body if need be. “I want to say your name as I come.”

  Alexandra licked her lips. “Much better. Continue.”

  “I want my orgasm to belong to you.” She smiled when she saw the sharp intake of Alexandra’s breath and knew she was close to making a winning statement. She leaned in closer as her eyes changed to an almost painful expression. “Alexandra,” she whispered softly.

  “Yes, Julia?”

  “I—I want to belong to you.”

  Alexandra gasped at the sudden confession. “What does that mean, Julia?”

  “I want to belong to you. I want my body to be yours. You have me, Alexandra. I want all of me to belong to you. I want to be yours.”

  “You just won yourself an orgasm.” Alexandra drew Julia in closer and kissed her passionately. “Julia?”

  “Yeah?” She was still a bit flabbergasted that she had actually said that. It was unexpected, but the words felt so incredibly right. She wanted to be Alexandra’s, and right now, the need for an orgasm seemed
to be the last thing on her mind.

  “Who do you belong to?” Her hands burrowed into Julia’s hair as she spoke.

  “You,” Julia said softly as her eyes welled up with tears.

  “Are you mine?”

  She was Alexandra’s completely, and the thought overwhelmed her. She had been Alexandra’s from the moment she had set foot on the island, and to put those thoughts and desires into words now felt completely right.

  “Mine,” Alexandra said as she tugged on Julia’s hair. Julia’s cheeks turned a light shade of pink, and Alexandra’s lips curled up in a small smile. “I am so fucking proud of you.”

  “You swore.”

  “That’s how proud I am of you. I thought you would appreciate the sentiment.” Alexandra kissed her.

  “So,” Julia drawled out after being silent for a long time, “do I get my orgasm now?”

  “Not yet.” Alexandra’s eyes closed, as if in anticipation. “Tell me again who you belong to.”

  Julia grinned, and she placed a kiss on Alexandra’s bare shoulder. “You.” When Alexandra didn’t stop her, she kissed her way up Alexandra’s neck and to her jaw before capturing those perfect lips between her own in a sensual kiss. “All yours.”

  A quiet moan fell from Julia’s mouth as Alexandra’s hand disappeared beneath her shirt. Her nails left red welts as she scratched them up higher. “You’re art, Julia. You’re the brush with which I need to paint. I am so incredibly proud of you.”

  With that, teeth sunk into Julia’s plump lower lip, only releasing it when Julia moaned longingly.

  “Guess what, Julia?”

  “What?” Julia squirmed as the nails dug deeper into her skin. She never wanted those nails to stop claiming her. She wanted the welts to be Alexandra’s love letter, and she wanted Alexandra’s tongue to ink the words permanently into her skin.

  “I am going to take you to bed, and I am going to show you exactly who you belong to. No more teasing, my girl.”

  Julia gasped out at those two words—words that before had upset her to the point where she’d had to physically walk away. How right they felt now. She wanted to hear those words being whispered into her ear over and over again.