by V. F. Mason
She wouldn't have survived it.
But my mother was gone.
And so was Radmir, the child.
As I fired the gun and the bullet reached its target, I was born anew.
I was a fully patched-in member of the Bratva, a ruthless enforcer, who always followed the code.
Other members fired their guns in the air, celebrating my action as Vasya applauded with a huge grin on his face and put a cross on me, indicating my place in brotherhood.
The fucking metal burned my skin, but I never took it off.
Radmir, 23 years old
Hopping in the ring, I put on my boxing gloves as my eyes scanned new recruits that Vasya brought in in the last few months, as they were finally ready to train. Somehow he considered them a good match for me. I felt nothing but sadness at the injustice done to those kids and the fact that they would have to be part of this grim world for the rest of their lives.
“Names,” I said, and they shared a look, but none of them spoke. All skinny and bruised, found on different streets while leading a less than thrilling life.
Finally, one of them took a step into my direction, his brown eyes gazing at me warily, but he lifted his chin high, as if I didn't see through his false bravado. “Dominic.” His stance and voice made me think of the future pakhan. He’d be good in the job, with his leading qualities. He was scared shitless of me but tried not to show it.
A blond-haired guy followed him, clearing his throat and replying quietly, “Yuri.” His stare was calculating, as if he searched for ways to persuade me. He would do good with the thinking part of the Bratva. His brain would be wasted in the physical job.
“Vitya,” the other one said, standing firmly. Ah, yes. Finally, an enforcer in the making. He’d have to get more extensive training from me, as he’d cover the ass of someone else.
Maybe it was presumptuous of me to predict their future here, but I had my experience through all those years. I could detect the abilities and gifts from the first glance. It was one of the reasons Vasya put me in this job. While all recruits got training, education, and various challenges to meet, certain skills had to have more extensive time.
And finally, the last one joined the team, shifting from side to side while removing the strands of his fucking gray hair from his forehead. “Gleb.” He was the only one with a cheerful smile on his face, as if all this was a highly entertaining show.
Fuck.
This life would ruin him. He probably hadn’t been through hell like the previous three.
A person’s life journey could always be detected in their eyes. They held all emotions and memories, and if you looked close enough, you didn't even have to wait for people to speak.
They wore their stories in their eyes.
“Radmir. From now on, I’ll be your shadow. We will train in the morning, day, and night. I’ll teach you how to use guns and various other equipment. Also no fucking, smoking, or drinking in the first three weeks as we get you in the habit of working out. No pussies around here, and if you ever come here with a hangover, I’ll kick your ass.” They blinked several times at my fired voice but nodded quickly. “Good. Let’s start.”
I hated that I had to take part in this, but at the same time, I was glad.
At least I would try my best for them to not lose themselves in this dangerous life from which they would never escape.
It was a curse all of us shared. I just hoped someday each one of us could find something that would lessen the burden.
Although, this life taught me nothing but to never have hope.
Hope never came true.
Radmir, 33 years old
This trip to the States was too fucking long with all the meetings, and I was glad we were finally going home.
“Did we have to take a commercial flight?” Dom muttered while Yuri rolled his eyes.
“Radmir, here, wanted to play pilot.”
“Fuck you, Yuri. Address me with respect,” I said with a grin, barely stifling a laugh at their displeasure. I majored in piloting and loved doing it when I got the chance, and with our lifestyle, I rarely got to. “You shits are too spoiled with our private plane to appreciate good things in life.”
“Oh, fuck, he got into the ‘old man’ mood again.” Gleb whistled next to us. “What did you guys say?” Before they could catch him on with the conversation at hand, a beautiful woman rushed before us like lightning and bumped into Dominic so hard she bounced back, and I had a second to catch her in time so she wouldn't fall.
Her scent instantly washed over me, awakening my senses as the mix of vanilla and peonies penetrated my nostrils as her body rushed an unfamiliar sensation through me.
“Sorry,” she mumbled sweetly, sounding a bit lost. It instantly made me want to wrap her in my arms and never let go.
What the fuck? Women usually only inspired the desire to fuck them, and nothing more. I hadn't even seen her face, and already she brought up an interest in me?
Her shoulders sagged under Dominic’s narrowed eyes, so I couldn't help but say, “Stop scowling at the poor girl, Dominic.” She shivered in my arms and then spun around. The hit was immediate; it felt like someone punched me in the gut.
Vivid blue eyes were the first thing I noticed about her, which along with her dark brown hair and pale skin created a vision I could look into every day. I’d seen my fair share of beautiful women, but there was something about her that made me want to cover her from the rest of the world so her every touch and breath belonged to me.
Love at first sight was bullshit created by poets who had nothing else to do.
But lust? Lust was an emotion running high through me at the moment, and I’d never wanted someone with such intensity before.
“It’s all right,” she said, slightly shaken. As our gazes collided, her breath hitched.
“Krasivoglazaya,” I murmured, but then our flight was announced and her face changed, and without saying anything else, she sent us a weak smile and dashed away.
She could run all she wanted.
There was no escaping my desire for her, and by the end of the night, she’d be mine, one way or another.
Radmir, 35 years old
Lying on the uncomfortable prison floor, I studied the ceiling of the isolator camera and tried my best to ignore the pain in my stomach from all the kicking Ben had given me for supposedly disobeying him and getting into a fight with another inmate.
Instead of wincing and giving him the satisfaction of seeing it on the camera, I smiled broadly and thought of the way I would kill the fucker once this shit was done.
They might have thought it was a punishment to be all alone in this place and it would drive me insane, but instead, it gave me nothing but peace. Someone must have paid all those fucking inmates to attack me each month, enough to bruise but not enough to kill.
Thankfully, some of them learned it was useless, as no one possessed my strength or experience. Most of them were dumb fucks who thought being muscular equaled a winning fight.
Fighting was an art that one had to learn to excel in.
Bratva wasn't answering my calls or requests I had sent in the letters, indicating Vasya was still pissed at me. At some point, he would have to let go and help me through this awful mess. I had no illusions I could get the fuck out of here on my own.
But even that wasn't the depressing thing.
Vivian.
Moya krasivoglazaya was probably suffering without me, not knowing what to do. I didn't understand why she never answered me or wrote anything, but maybe it was easier for her this way. I had no doubt she’d never betray me, because no one had my trust more than she did.
I had promised her forever and instead gave her nothing but suffering. Underestimating her father as my enemy was my first mistake. Thinking I could do it without a brotherhood, another. Through all those years, I realized one thing; they were family who stood behind me no matter what and actually took me in when no one else would. Instead of be
ing grateful, all I had done was spit in their faces.
No more.
Prison taught a man to value the important things in his life, and the minute I got out of this fucking dump, I would get my revenge and reestablish all broken connections.
I just had to fucking get out of here.
Rolling my lips, I tugged on my sprained finger and straightened it out, stifling the gasp of pain.
Until then, my enemies would not know how they actually screwed up my life.
Let them laugh now.
I’d get my justice one way or another.
Radmir
Vivian headed inside the room, ignoring the curious glances from the members while her blue eyes sparked with anger every time she cast them on me.
She refused to see my side of this and thought sending my kid with Rosa was irresponsible. But the truth was, I trusted Vlad and Ivan to take care of him, and Dominic wouldn't have allowed his woman to go unless he was sure about his safety.
While I didn't want to suspect my Bratva members, I couldn't exclude this option either. Collapsing on the bar seat, I rested my back on the counter while Kostya had coffee made for me in a second. I scanned the surroundings.
Daggers, hatred, unusual behavior for the members.
If the fucker hated me so much, he would slip. Vivian’s presence would change his patterns, but I didn't notice anything out of place.
Some remembers smoked and played poker, while others watched TV and some disappeared from the room with whores.
Who the fuck was it then? We weren't safe; my gut never wronged me. But why did I feel the danger so close? There had to be some explanation for that, but no matter how much I looked through the files or anything else, my searches came up blank.
Director couldn't be a fucking ghost!
“It’s not a Bratva member,” Dom said, amusement lacing his voice as he sat down next to me.
Giving him a sideways glance, I sipped my drink before answering, “As I discovered, people you trust most tend to be the ones who screw you in the end.”
He flashed me a sad grin, fucker.
We hadn't spoken after our fight two weeks ago. I’d been too angry to stay civil, and I couldn't show him disrespect. Wouldn't be good for members to see cracks between us, could mean an uprising.
To the outside world, we had to be united.
“Radmir, I had no choice.” Swirling on the seat, I faced him and noticed that the darkness under his eyes had gone away. He was well rested and happy, clearly content with Rosa.
Remembering the small boy he used to be, warmth centered in my chest knowing he’d received his salvation in the form of his Italian rose.
“Why? Why did you lie to me in prison all those months ago? You told me she got married and had a son. I could have lived without this information.” I could still remember the simmering rage inside me. I’d destroyed everything, and the guards had to put me down by force.
Dominic winced. “You left me no choice, brother. You wanted to get out, asked for help, and I did all I could.” He rolled the sleeve of his white shirt, showcasing his snake tattoo, which indicated his position in the brotherhood. “This… this means I have to think about Bratva first. There was no telling what you would do once you got out and found out she was married. It was safer to prepare you. I do not regret what I did. I do regret causing you pain.” He placed his hand on my shoulder.
There was truth in his words, so instead, I smiled at him while he exhaled a relieved breath. “Are you sure my family is safe here?”
He nodded. “You think I wouldn't have done my own investigation? I tested, looked, and no, it wasn't us. Someone hates you out there, brother. But not us.”
Then that just brought me back to square one, didn't it?
All I had left was to wait for him to strike. Fuck, did I screw up so royally in my previous life that I had to go through all these hoops to get my happy ending?
Dominic frowned, checking the time on his golden watch.
“What’s wrong?” I questioned, as he shook his head, took out his phone, and raised it to his ear. “Dom?”
“Rosa was supposed to message me from the ice rink two hours ago. Why the hell is she not picking up her phone?” He ran his fingers through his hair in frustration as I froze.
What?
“Jake. Jake is with her.”
He cursed, and dialed again while pacing back and forth. I took out my phone as well, and Vitya picked up on a second ring.
“Check all the cameras. Call Vlad. Find Rosa and Jake.”
He already knew they’d gone outside, so he grunted, “On it.”
I prayed nothing happened to my son when I promised to keep him safe.
Vivian
The commotion in the main room snapped me out of my haze as I padded downstairs and noticed several agents, freaking FBI at that, paced the room while Dominic barked orders and Bratva members kept getting their guns ready.
He didn't even spare me a glance as they rushed outside. A second later, Radmir joined them with a pale expression while fear shone in his eyes.
“What’s going on?”
He didn't answer me, but took out his own gun while the hair on my neck prickled as I felt someone at my back. Radmir nodded, and at once, strong hands wrapped around me, blocking my movements. I tried to shift, but it was useless. He wouldn't even budge.
“Radmir!” I demanded, and he came closer, raising my chin.
“I’ll fix this, Vivian. But you have to stay.” Then he addressed the man behind my back who turned out to be Kostya. “Watch after her until I return.” His voice was void of any emotion as if he were a robot speaking and, with that, he quickly followed the guys, ignoring my shouts.
“What the hell is going on?”
“Lock the door from the outside,” Kostya ordered to one of the enforcers left with us, and once it was done, he spun me around to face him. “Calm down, Vivian.” I tugged on my hands harder and finally untangled them from his grip, stepping back while maintaining eye contact. I didn’t miss his grim facial expression or how he gritted his teeth.
“Why am I alone here with you?” I asked carefully, hectically thinking for a way out but not finding anything. I rubbed my hand on my chest, wondering why it heaved so much. Something was wrong.
Terribly wrong.
“You need to calm down and focus,” he repeated and then raised his arms in a defeated stance. “I won’t hurt you.”
“What’s going on? What happened? Where's my son?” And finally, I noticed the remorse and worry in his gaze as panic swept through, overshadowing any other emotion.
I knew I shouldn't have trusted them to keep Jake safe.
After all, they had failed to do it all those years ago.
Why would this time be any different?
Radmir
I held my sobbing child in my arms and left the fucking rusted house on the outskirts of the city, while the sirens screamed loudly all around me and paramedics rushed inside to help Rosa while Dominic stayed with her.
FBI and FSB surrounded the building, barking orders at everyone who would listen while the person who kidnapped Rosa and made her life hell for the past year was taken away somewhere by Vitya and Yuri.
Petor held the door of the black Mercedes open for us, and I sat down, while he closed the door and quickly set to drive off in the direction of headquarters that were located only thirty minutes away.
“Shh.” I patted Jake’s back as he hid his face in the crook of my neck, while I rocked him from side to side. The psycho almost killed them all with the gun pointed right at Rosa and Jake. I almost destroyed the operation while I refused every plan they had come up with until Dom lost patience, punched me in the gut, and proceeded on his own.
Thank fuck, he held a calm head in this situation, because I had lost my damn mind with my kid in danger.
“It was scary, Daddy,” Jake whispered with a hiccup, and I squeezed him tighter in my arms.
“They can’t hurt you anymore,” I said furiously, while self-disgust poured through every bone in my body. How could I have just sent him with Rosa, blindly believing nothing would happen to him? I broke my word to Vivian, who’d told me how reckless it was.
“That person said that happiness is a privilege not everyone has.” He sat up on his knees, his teary face breaking my heart as he asked quietly, “What does it mean, Daddy?”
Ruffling his hair, I pushed his head back on my shoulder while opening the window so the soft breeze could slip inside and calm our nerves.
“Someone hurt them in the past, son. They live with hatred in them and don’t know how to deal with it. Happiness is a privilege everyone has. You should never believe otherwise.”
He didn't say anything and in a second grew quiet, and I glanced down to see his eyes closed in sleep.
“Radmir, it wasn't your fault,” Petor said, catching my gaze in the rearview mirror.
A hollow laugh escaped my mouth as I covered him with the jacket lying nearby on the seat.
I was the only one to blame here.
And I couldn’t wait for the anger Vivian would rightfully unleash on me. I just hoped and prayed one bad decision didn't cost me my family.
Vivian
The minute I heard the car driving up, I burst out of the building as soon as the enforcer unlocked it. As the car stopped, I opened the door, not bothering to wait for everyone else.
Jake sat on Radmir’s lap, his face red and swollen from crying. I covered up my sob at all the fear he must have felt and took him in my arms. He wrapped his arms tightly around me as I squeezed him tight, kissing his neck and head and any other place I could touch.
“It’s okay, Mommy.” He tried to calm me down, and for his sake, I swallowed the fear that had turned me into a basket case, and I patted his back. “Let’s take a bath and then watch some cartoons with pizza. How does that sound?” He smiled weakly, resting his head on my shoulder and rubbing his eyes.
“Awesome.” I didn't even glance at Radmir, because frankly I didn't give a fuck right then.
He had put my baby in danger, because he wanted to find the director; maybe he was just paranoid. He was the sovietnik. God knows how many enemies he had during the years. What if it was some gang effort?