The Other Side of Paradise

by Margaret Mayhew

  ‘There’s nothing wrong with the British soldier, Mrs Roper. He’s been fighting with tremendous courage. So have the Indians, the Gurkhas, the Australians and the Malays. But, unfortunately, the Japs seem to have gained the upper hand in almost every respect – numbers, tactics, equipment, manoeuvrability, cunning, military intelligence … pretty much everything. They’ve simply outsmarted us. Added to that, Singapore’s totally unprepared. No tanks, hardly any aircraft, no navy to speak of, not enough weapons, the big guns pointing the wrong way, no defences on the north shore. People living in cloud cuckoo land. The military and civilian authorities at loggerheads. When the army wanted to site a defence post on a golf course recently, the secretary said nothing could be done until the committee had met. I think that about sums it up.’

  In the silence that followed Hector squawked triumphantly from his cage.

  ‘Rule Britannia! Rule Britannia! Rule Britannia!’

  Lawrence Trent said, ‘Not for much longer, I’m afraid.’

  Milly came to the house to say goodbye. She brought Bonnie with her and her eyes were full of tears.

  ‘We’re leaving tomorrow. Daddy says we’ve been ordered to. The army want the women and children out of the way.’

  ‘Where are they sending you?’

  ‘I don’t know. They won’t tell you where the ship’s going. I don’t even know its name.’ She tugged at the spaniel’s lead. ‘Would you do me an awfully big favour, Susie? Daddy says he won’t have time to look after Bonnie and I don’t trust the servants. If you’re staying on for a bit, could you look after her for me? Make sure she’s all right?’

  ‘I’ll do my best.’

  ‘She likes three good meals a day – one in the morning, one at lunchtime and one in the evening – and she simply loves liver. You can mix it with dog biscuits.’

  ‘I’ll tell Soojal.’

  ‘She adores chocolate, too. Milk chocolate’s her favourite. I give her two squares after lunch and then four more after dinner, as a treat.’

  ‘I’ll remember.’

  ‘Thank you, Susie. I’m awfully grateful.’ Milly wiped her eyes. ‘I managed to see Geoff at the hospital yesterday and said goodbye to him. He’ll be staying – just like I thought. All the doctors are. They’ve got hundreds of patients to look after. He says the wounded keep arriving every day. It was horrible saying goodbye … wondering if I’d ever see him again.’

  ‘You will, when the war’s over.’

  ‘That’s what he said, but I’m not so sure about it. I expect you’ll have to leave soon, Susie.’

  ‘My mother’s still not well enough to travel.’

  ‘You’ll go as soon as she is. Then what will happen to poor Bonnie?’

  ‘Don’t worry, I’ll tell Soojal to look after her with the other animals. I can trust him.’

  Milly sighed. ‘It’s been such fun, hasn’t it? We’ve had a wonderful time in Singapore.’

  ‘Yes, we have.’

  ‘Do you think this is a sort of judgement on us, because we’ve been having such a lovely time? A judgement for enjoying ourselves too much?’

  ‘No, I don’t think so, but we probably deserve it.’

  As she waved goodbye to Milly, the spaniel tried to follow her mistress and began to whimper.

  Eight

  THE WELSH ORDERLY, Delfryn, sat beside her in the ambulance, shouting above the engine noise.

  ‘I don’t mind telling you, miss, I’d just as soon not be doing this run. Those Nips don’t have respect for red crosses. They don’t believe in them, see. If any of their planes catch sight of us, they’ll shoot. You mark my words.’

  She would sooner not be doing the trip either, but it had sounded straightforward enough. Drive across the Causeway into Johore, pick up some wounded from an army casualty station and drive them back to the Alexandra Hospital. Simple as that. Normally, they would have gone in a convoy, but there had been a bad air raid the night before and the other ambulances were still busy moving the dead and injured.

  She took the Bukit Timah road across the island, past plantations and patches of jungle and native kampongs. The orderly kept leaning sideways out of the ambulance, holding on to his steel helmet and scanning the skies for Japanese aircraft. She had taken hers off because it was so heavy and hot.

  ‘You ought to keep it on, miss,’ he’d told her disapprovingly. ‘If the Nips catch us on the Causeway we’ll be in all sorts of trouble.’

  No Jap planes appeared as they crossed over the Johore Straits and they reached the mainland safely. The road leading through the jungle to the casualty station was full of ruts and holes and the cab felt like an oven even with all the vents wide open. Delfryn started to sing loudly – to keep their spirits up, he said. He had a rather good tenor voice and the song was all about Welsh valleys and hills.

  ‘Do all Welshmen sing?’ she asked.

  ‘Most of us do. It’s in the blood, see. We can’t help it. And we get homesick.’

  ‘I don’t suppose Wales looks much like this.’

  ‘Nothing like it at all.’ He sounded shocked, as though she’d said something blasphemous. ‘Wales is beautiful.’

  ‘Don’t you think Malaya is?’

  He shook his head. ‘I think it’s a terrible place. Much too hot and very unhealthy. I don’t know why anyone would want to live here.’

  The dressing station was a large army tent, pitched close to a native village. The medical officer came out as they arrived.

  ‘I’ve picked out the worst cases,’ he said. ‘The sooner you can get them to hospital, the better. I’m afraid we can’t do much more for them here.’ He looked at Susan, frowning. ‘It would have been better if they’d sent a man.’

  ‘I’m a perfectly competent driver.’

  ‘I’m sure you are. But it’s just too dangerous for a woman. The Jap planes come over all the time.’

  ‘They do in Singapore, too.’

  ‘Not quite like here.’

  He went back into the tent and the orderly followed. Susan parked the ambulance in the shade near some native huts, switched off the engine and jumped down. The huts had been built on stilts against floods and stone water jars were stored in the open spaces beneath. Tethered goats grazed, chickens pecked and scratched. In the surrounding jungle, insects chorused, birds sang, monkeys chattered and parrots screeched – all making a big racket. She leaned against the front mudguard, powdering her nose, reapplying lipstick. Some small boys who had been busy playing a game near the huts had stopped to stare at her. They wore brightly-coloured sarongs and shirts and their limbs were smooth and brown, their feet bare.

  She put her lipstick and compact away in her pocket and beckoned to them, smiling. ‘Mari sini.’

  The tallest and boldest boy edged forward.

  She smiled some more. ‘Jangan takut. Don’t be afraid.’ She groped in her other pocket, found some mints and held them out to him. ‘Hadiah gula-gula untok adek.’ It was important that he understood that they were a friendly gift. He advanced, step by step, like a nervous animal. Asians, she knew, were suspicious of Western sweets which might contain forbidden ingredients.

  ‘Jangan takut,’ she repeated, still smiling. ‘OK.’

  He reached out to take them from her hand but at that moment the first stretcher was carried from the tent and he backed away. The children retreated to a safe distance and stood watching as the ambulance was loaded up. Susan climbed in behind the wheel and held her scented handkerchief to her nose. Delfryn would ride in the back with the patients, perched on the attendant’s tip-up seat on the other side of the closed door. All she had to do was drive.

  The MO came round to her side and stood looking up at her, fists on hips.

  ‘You’ve got some badly wounded men back there – try not to jolt them about too much, if you can help it.’

  ‘I’ll do my best.’

  He stared at her doubtfully and she knew that he was taking stock of the powdered nose, the fresh lipstick
and the scent of Je Reviens.

  ‘Haven’t you got a helmet?’

  ‘It’s awfully heavy.’

  ‘I’d put it on, if I were you.’

  It was an order, not a suggestion. She found the helmet on the floor and arranged it on her head, not bothering to tighten the strap.

  He said, ‘Stay out of sight as much as you can – stick close to the trees. If you see any Jap planes overhead drive off the road and hide till they’ve gone.’ He slapped the mudguard with the flat of his hand. ‘Off you go, and good luck!’

  It was impossible to avoid all the ruts and holes, to stop the ambulance from lurching and rolling. Delfryn opened the door a crack and shouted through it.

  ‘You’ll have to slow down, miss. It’s too bumpy for them back here.’

  ‘Sorry.’

  She crawled on, gears whining. The jungle pressed close on each side, dense and dark. Lawrence Trent had spoken of the Japs creeping stealthily through the jungle. They were supposed to be miles away to the north, but she kept imagining them in there, among the trees, watching and waiting to pounce.

  The plane came from behind, flying very low and very fast. There was a sudden and terrifying stutter of gunfire and the ambulance juddered and rocked violently. She wrenched at the wheel and careered off the road towards the shelter of the trees. The plane had gone past and was turning to come back; she could see it clearly as it banked – the Japanese red circle on its side and on the tips of its wings. It was aiming straight for them again, guns blazing. She sent the ambulance plunging headlong into the jungle. It scraped between the trees, burst through a tangle of vines and came to a dead stop with its nose embedded in a thicket of bamboo.

  She found herself sprawled over the steering wheel with her head up against the windscreen. Her helmet had been knocked off and blood was trickling down the side of her face; it seemed to be coming from a cut on her forehead where she could feel a lump the size of a small egg.

  The Jap plane must have gone away because she couldn’t hear it any more and there was no more gunfire – no sound except the loud jungle chorus. Nothing at all from the back. She rolled up the blind on the window and peered through. Delfryn ought to have been sitting on his seat with his back against the door, but she couldn’t see him; in fact, she couldn’t see anything much at all because it was too dark in there. And when she tried to open the communicating door it seemed to be stuck.

  ‘Delfryn!’

  No answer. She climbed out and went round to the back, forcing a way through broken branches and knotted vines, scratching her arms and face, tearing her clothes. The canvas sides of the ambulance had been ripped open and there were rows of holes, neat as stitching, across the back doors.

  ‘Delfryn!’

  Still no answer.

  She fumbled clumsily with the handle and tugged at the right-hand door. It swung back on its hinges and locked into place. She made herself look inside.

  The orderly lay slumped against the communicating door at the far end and his chest was covered in blood – very bright red and glistening. The blood had also run down on to the floor, between his legs, and formed a big pool. She had never seen so much blood, never realized there was so much in one body. He was dead, of course. He must be. She wanted to slam the door shut quickly and not look any more, but she knew she had to make sure.

  The steps refused to unfold for her so she hauled herself up into the back. Delfryn was dead all right. His eyes were wide open and staring upward at the roof and flies were already buzzing around, feasting on his blood. The sick came up in her throat and she turned and vomited out of the open doorway. As she was wiping her face with her handkerchief and trembling violently, a voice whispered.

  ‘I say, could I possibly have some water?’

  She had forgotten about the four stretcher cases – been too shocked to think about them. The whisper had come from the lower bunk, right by where she was standing.

  ‘Just a moment.’

  Thank God, Ray had shown her where the water was stored in a tank in one of the lockers, and how to work the tap below. She found a cup, filled it and crouched down beside the bunk, held the cup to the man’s mouth. He drank a few sips, stopped and stared up at her.

  ‘Susan … Susan?’

  ‘Yes. I’m Susan.’

  ‘It’s Roger … you remember. Roger Clark. We went out together in Singapore.’

  She recognized him now – beneath the stubble and the ghastly pallor.

  ‘Yes, of course. I didn’t realize it was you.’

  ‘Afraid I’m a bit of a mess.’

  ‘Do you want some more water?’

  She tipped the cup again. He took more sips but it kept running out of the sides of his mouth and down his chin, so she had to support his head while he drank. Touching someone badly wounded revolted her but she forced herself to do it. He sank back on the pillow; the effort seemed to have exhausted him.

  ‘Where are we?’

  ‘Hiding in the jungle at the moment. A Jap plane was shooting at us. I think he’s gone away.’

  ‘But what are you doing here?’

  ‘I was driving the ambulance. I didn’t know you were inside.’

  He gave her a ghost of a smile. ‘I didn’t know you were driving.’

  She said, ‘I’d better see how the others are.’

  The man in the bunk above Roger was still alive. His eyes were open and his lips moved when she looked at him, but she couldn’t make out what he was saying. The two men in the opposite bunks were as dead as Delfryn and she could see that the Jap pilot had got them too. She pulled the blankets up over them, grabbed a spare one and threw it over the orderly’s corpse. She must have trodden in the blood because it was spattered all over her shoes and the soles were slippery. She clambered out of the back and wiped them, shuddering, on the grass. After a moment, when she had taken some deep breaths and got a bit of a grip on herself, she went round to the front. Both wing mirrors had been smashed by the branches and the windscreen wiper torn off, but the ambulance’s engine seemed undamaged.

  One of the men was calling out. She went back and climbed in again. It was the man in the top bunk. He was crying and moaning and pleading.

  She bent down to Roger.

  ‘What’s he saying … do you know? What does he want?’

  ‘Very bad pain … needs morphine.’

  Morphine? Ray had talked about that, too, when he’d shown her over the ambulance. She searched frantically in the other locker, pulling out dressings and bandages, scissors, bottles and tubes and, finally, a box of ready-filled morphine syringes – the ones that looked like toothpaste tubes with long needles on the end. What had Ray said? Something about the wire loop on the top … why in heaven’s name hadn’t she paid more attention?

  The man was screaming now – horrible animal-like screams of torment. She grabbed one of the syringes, took the cover off, trying frantically to remember. Push the wire bit down to break the seal … that was it. Then take it off and stick the needle in … all the way. The man was still screaming and writhing about. She caught hold of him.

  ‘Keep still! Keep still!’

  She couldn’t hold him down on her own – he was too strong and thrashing about like a madman, arms going everywhere. She grabbed hold of one arm, stabbed the needle in as far as it would go and squeezed the tube.

  After a moment, he stopped screaming and lay still with his eyes closed. Dear God, perhaps she’d killed him? Done it all wrong? Given him too much? Dear God … Then he opened his eyes again, whispered.

  ‘Thank you.’

  Ray had said something else, too – about pinning the empty syringe to a patient’s clothing – only the man wasn’t wearing any shirt or jacket. Instead she used the lipstick in her pocket to write a big M on his forehead and left the syringe stuck into the blanket.

  She crouched down beside Roger. ‘I think it worked.’

  ‘Yes. He’ll be OK for a bit.’

  She said, ‘I’m
going to get you to the hospital. It won’t take too long. Will you be all right?’

  ‘Rather … It helps, just having you here.’

  Apart from the water and the morphine, she’d been no help at all. Just the opposite. The MO had said the patients were all badly wounded and asked her not to jolt them around. Instead, she’d driven too fast and then gone careering wildly off the road, bumping and bouncing and crashing through trees. Delfryn and the other two must have been killed by the Jap pilot but if Roger and the man in the top bunk died, it would be all her fault.

  ‘Any more water?’

  ‘No … thanks. I wanted to ask you, Susan … did you get my letters?’

  ‘Yes. I’m very sorry I didn’t answer you.’

  ‘It’s all right. I didn’t really expect it.’

  He looked dreadful. Whatever had happened to him, it must be very serious. And he was trying so hard not to make any fuss. She took his hand gently in hers.

  ‘I expect they’ll send you home to England, Roger, as soon as you’re better.’

  ‘That’d be jolly nice.’

  ‘Back to Esher. What was the name of the road?’

  ‘Esher Park Avenue.’ It sounded like a long sigh.

  ‘That’s right. Your parents’ll be so pleased, won’t they? And you’ll be able to go for a drink at the Bear.’

  ‘And the Star. They both do awfully good beers.’

  ‘Yes, both of them. One after the other. Several pints.’

  He said, ‘You’ve cut your head.’

  ‘I bumped it, that’s all. Nothing to worry about.’

  Her uniform, so clean and crisp when she’d set off, was covered in blood, torn and filthy.

  ‘I have to go back to the cab now, so we can get going. The sooner the better.’

  He lifted a thumb, smiled up at her. ‘OK.’

  The engine refused to start. It coughed and died several times before it faltered into life. She waited for a few moments until it had settled to a steady note and then backed the ambulance carefully away from the bamboo thicket. The smashed side mirrors were useless, so she had to lean out sideways to see behind. She kept hitting a tree or a bush, having to stop, go forward, then reverse around it – again and again until she reached the road. It was already getting dark.