It's Just Lola

by Dixiane Hallaj

  “But this afternoon you said something different.”

  “This afternoon I said the inheritance explained things. I couldn’t understand why Jacoba wanted to harm the children. It made sense once you told me of the inheritance. She wants to get rid of Joseph so she can inherit.”

  “No. She knew when they married that she wouldn’t inherit. Without us the land will be split among the sisters.”

  “She must stand to gain in some way. Perhaps she has a promise of something from the other sisters. Don’t be naive, Lola. People do strange things for money.”

  “You’re wrong, James. Besides, my sisters don’t know about the new will.” The words died on her lips when she remembered Jacoba and Victoria’s recent friendship. Hadn’t her father said Victoria would move heaven and earth to get all the land in Peru? Victoria could leave the details to Jacoba and grieve sincerely at the results. Lola shuddered and tried to erase the thoughts.

  “Whether they know or not, I won’t put the children in harm’s way. I cannot permit it.”

  Lola was furious that James assumed it was his decision to make, but she knew her father would agree. Men made the decisions and their wives had to concur. She blinked back tears of frustration.

  “But don’t you see, James, the plantation has so much to offer. It’ll mean financial security forever for us and for our children. All we have to do is keep Jacoba away from them. We can build a separate house and live apart.”

  “If Jacoba is truly determined to harm the children, there are too many ways it can be done. You can’t keep them locked up forever. I can’t believe you’re willing to risk our children’s lives for money.”

  “What about my father?”

  “Your father’s a grown man and can fend for himself—our children can’t. I go to Ecuador next week, and you’ll go with me.” He turned off the light, ending the conversation.

  Lola’s frustration and anger kept her awake for hours. It wasn’t fair to her or to the children. By the time she fell asleep her pillow was wet with tears of sadness as well.

  “I never even said good-bye.”

  XIII. September, 1914: Lola Age 20

  Lola looked up from the tiny sweater she was crocheting. “James is inordinately proud of having worked on the Canal, Inez. You saw how excited he was when he learned it was finally finished. He just had to be there. Besides, it’ll get his mind off England being at war.”

  “That was almost a month ago. He should be back by now.”

  “Something kept him longer. You’ll see; he’ll be back in plenty of time to be here when the baby’s born.”

  “For your sake, I hope you’re right.”

  “I am right, and we won’t discuss this any further.”

  “Yes, Señora,” said Inez. Perhaps James was right that she shouldn’t be so friendly with the staff. Inez was a governess and lived as part of the family, but that didn’t give her the liberty to criticize James.

  James arrived the next day and Lola greeted him warmly. She never doubted he’d be back in time for her birthing. He gave each of the children a hug and talked to them briefly before sending them off with Inez. Lola wanted to tell him to stop treating the children like little adults. She had a brief memory of Mehmet dancing around the apartment with a squealing little girl on each shoulder. Resolutely, she put the image out of her mind.

  That night at dinner James described the passage of the SS Ancon through the Canal. Lola smiled at his excitement. He was usually much too serious.

  “We all knew the ship, of course, because it had been one of the ships that brought supplies during the construction. But when it sailed past, I barely recognized it with its fresh paint and all the flags flying. There was even a band playing. I must say, it was a grand occasion. I only had a small part in the construction, but I felt proud. What an amazing accomplishment.” James laughed. “How often does the world ignore the winner and herald the runner-up as he crosses the finish line.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “The SS Cristobal went through the Canal earlier to make sure everything would work properly for the official ceremony. There were no bands or flags or fanfare—just a dirty old freighter moving from one ocean to the other.” James shook his head, still grinning over the big joke, and continued eating.

  “Did you see anyone you knew?” asked Lola.

  “Yes,” he answered shortly, and he turned to Estela and asked about her lessons.

  After the meal Inez and the children withdrew for the evening. James asked for more coffee.

  “Lola, have you been reading the papers?”

  “Not really. I don’t like politics, and I find the reports of the war upsetting.” She winced as the child within her gave a healthy kick.

  “This war’s not a skirmish that’ll be over in a few days or even weeks. I don’t know how it’ll end, but it might be a long time before we can think of travelling to England.” Lola tried not to look pleased. “As I said at the table, I met some people I knew at the opening of the Canal. An engineer I used to work with remembered that I was interested in railroads. He said that Chile and Argentina are having trouble with the Transandine Railway. It’s only been finished for four years, but they’re having difficulty keeping it running. The region’s plagued with heavy snow, earth tremors, and rockslides. Any project involving more than one country’s bound to be complicated. Add to that the incredible difficulty of the terrain…” He stopped talking, and his expression said more than words. He was picturing the construction and wishing he’d been there. “I accepted a job with the Chilean State Railways, the Empresa de Los Ferrocarriles del Estado, which everyone calls the EFE.”

  “You’re going to a job in Chile?”

  “It’s a not just a job, it’s a career. Lola, I’ve never been without work, but it makes me nervous jumping from job to job. I don’t want to be away from you for long periods, but neither do I want to uproot you and the children to move with each job. I want to settle down. That’s why I was gone so long. I applied for the job, and then there was a lot of red tape and back and forth. The British Military Attaché invited me to stay with him, and he let me use the Consulate telegraph.”

  “You stayed with the Military Attaché? That sounds very grand.”

  “He’s a nice chap I used to have drinks with when I was working on the Canal. He’s the one who told me about the job.” James refilled his coffee cup. “Lola, this is my dream job. Chile is expanding its rail system. They bought a lot of private rail lines, and they’re trying to consolidate them into a national system. They don’t even have a map of the new additions—the regions aren’t fully integrated. I’ll be designing a national system.”

  “That sounds exciting.” Lola tried to sound enthusiastic. Her back hurt and she was tired. Lola wished the child would come soon.

  “This position in Chile is perfect. I’ll be doing the work that I love best. They’re using British trains on the rack portions of the line over the Andes, and it helped that I was familiar with the trains themselves, not just the engineering part.”

  “The rack portion?”

  James explained how trains went up steep inclines using something like cogs. He explained all kinds of details that Lola barely understood, and she tired of asking every time he used a new term.

  A week later, a doctor came to the house to deliver their child. It was an uneventful delivery, and Carlota was soon nestled in her mother’s arms. “Are you all right?” James asked as soon as he was allowed into the room.

  “Yes, I’m fine, and so is your daughter,” Lola said with a tired smile. “You can hold her, if you like.”

  James picked up the small blanket-wrapped infant. His voice filled with awe as he spoke. “Remember when I told you the Panama Canal was the most momentous thing in my life? Well, that’s not true any longer. This is the most momentous thing in my life.” Lola closed her eyes and drifted into sleep with a smile on her face.

  ~ ~ ~

  “Inez, ho
w would I manage without you? You’re a gift from God.” Lola was close to tears. She was exhausted. Baby Carlota was crying, and they were crowded into a small stateroom on a freighter headed from Peru to Chile.

  “Don’t worry, Señora Lola, just relax and take care of your baby. You shouldn’t be travelling yet. Only peasant women get up so soon after giving birth.” Inez sounded exactly like her sisters. It was unfortunate that Inez had fallen on hard times and was forced to seek employment as a governess—unfortunate for Inez, but very fortunate for the growing Atkins family.

  “My place is with my husband. If we don’t go with him now, we’ll have to travel alone. He has a contract and he can’t delay.” Lola smiled. “I am just so thankful, Inez, that you have chosen to go with us to Chile. You are my salvation.”

  “To tell the truth, Señora, I’ve always wanted to travel. I find it exciting to think that I’ll be seeing another country. Why don’t I take the children to my cabin? You feed your baby, and maybe both of you can get some rest. Don’t worry about anything. I’ll bring you some food so you don’t have to dress for supper.”

  “Thank you, Inez.”

  That afternoon she slept until Inez brought her food. By evening the ship reached open sea, and Lola became violently ill. The rest of the journey was a jumbled memory of misery. Even water made her ill. She had no idea how long the voyage took, but she was convinced that neither she nor Carlota would survive. She vaguely remembered James coming in and asking about her health. She later laughed at the memory of telling him to remarry to give the children a mother.

  By the time they reached Valparaiso Lola was so weak she needed help getting off the ship. James shepherded his family into a small hotel, and Lola was able to drink a cup of sweet tea. The next morning he woke them before the sun rose to take the first train to Santiago. James stayed with them long enough to make sure that everyone was settled in the hotel and left to see his new employer.

  “He seemed surprised to see me so soon,” James said that evening. “I don’t know why, because I told him I’d arrive immediately after your lying-in period.”

  “What lying-in period?” whispered Inez under her breath. “He rushed you onto the boat almost before the doctor was out the door.”

  “Hush,” said Lola quietly.

  “He said there was a problem with the house they promised us.”

  “What kind of problem?” asked Lola.

  “The owner decided not to rent the place. Who knows? Maybe someone in his family needs the house.” James shrugged.

  “What’ll we do?”

  “I’ll find another place. It’ll only be a minor delay. Don’t worry, Lola. I’ll take care of everything.”

  It took longer than James expected to find housing. Inez took the children on long walks as they chafed under the confinement of the hotel. Lola mentioned the walks to James, and the next day he brought home a perambulator for Carlota. Lola was delighted with the gift. She’d seen them, of course, but no one she knew had ever owned one. The walks became a daily ritual, and in the evenings Estela would amuse James with her accounts of what they’d seen that day.

  “I am glad we came,” said Lola one evening. “The Chileans are such friendly people, it’s quite pleasant walking. We found a park where other mothers bring children. Joseph loves it.”

  “Really?” said James. “I’m constantly struck by how unfriendly the Chileans are. I’ve seen many nice places, but there’s always something that blocks the landlord from renting. It’s frustrating. I don’t know why people put out signs advertising space for rent and then tell me it’s not ready for occupancy, or someone just rented it. I know it’s difficult living in a hotel, but I’m not having any luck finding a suitable place.”

  Lola sympathized. She felt sorry for James as he tried to juggle a new job and finding a place for them. She was frustrated because she knew she had more time, and she was sure she could do it, but it was not her place to interfere. He had to be the one to talk to the landlord.

  Finally James announced that he had rented a place. “It isn’t what I wanted, but it’s what I found.”

  “Never mind. Whatever it is, we’ll make it into a home,” said Lola.

  “I hope so.” James closed his eyes briefly. His face looked drawn and pale. “Once we move out of the hotel, things’ll get better.”

  It didn’t take long for them to settle into their new home. Inez found a woman who would come in daily to cook and do laundry. James was away much of the time and the household adjusted. Lola kept hoping James would lose his air of worry and stress, but he seemed to become more and more preoccupied.

  One night as they lay in bed, Lola tried again. “Tell me what’s bothering you? I can see you’re unhappy. Is there anything I can do?”

  “No. The job entails many responsibilities, and the people I have to please don’t always agree with each other.”

  “I’m sure you’ll figure it out soon. Is there someone at work you feel comfortable talking to?” James frowned and turned away. She reached out and touched his arm, “maybe you could invite one of your co-workers and his wife some evening for dinner. We’ve been here for months, and we have no friends. It would be nice to meet some people.”

  “I told you, Lola, the people here are unfriendly. The men I work with are surly and rude. It’s difficult working in that kind of atmosphere.” Lola fell silent. She was determined to prove him wrong.

  The next week James was preparing to leave again. He said the EFE was thinking of buying a stretch of rail that belonged to a mining company, and they wanted him to see about the feasibility of making it part of the national network.

  “What do they mine?” asked Lola.

  “Nitrates.”

  “Nothing exciting like gold or silver?”

  James grunted. “I don’t think any part of this trip will be exciting. It’ll be the exact opposite of the jungles around the Panama Canal. The mines are in the Atacama Desert, and I expect it to be very uncomfortable.”

  Lola smiled. “All the more reason to hurry home.”

  The next day Lola put Carlota in the pram, determined to invite some women over for tea or coffee. It wasn’t as easy as she had hoped, but within a few days she had arranged a small afternoon coffee.

  She and Inez made the house as presentable as possible, and the serving woman outdid herself in the kitchen. Lola was expecting four women, but only two women arrived. Lola delayed serving, expecting the other two women to come momentarily. When she felt any further delay would be rude, she brought in the coffee and tea and small cakes.

  “I hope the others come before the coffee gets cold,” she said as she poured. She was startled to see the woman she was serving get flushed and look very embarrassed.

  “They won’t be coming.”

  “But they accepted the invitation.” Lola was puzzled. In polite society people who couldn’t attend an event after accepting an invitation always sent their apologies.

  The older of the two women finally told Lola that the women’s husbands had forbidden them to come or to have any further communication with Lola.

  “What have I done that’s so terrible?” Lola was thunderstruck.

  “If you must know, you married an Englishman.”

  “I married an Englishman? He’s a man like any other.”

  “Haven’t you been reading the papers?” The woman seemed to take perverse pleasure in explaining to Lola why she was being shunned by her neighbors.

  “James doesn’t bring the papers home. He has no interest in politics, but it saddens him to read of his countrymen being killed.”

  “Then you don’t understand that Chile is suffering because of the British war?”

  “But we’re all neutral. Chile is neutral, and so is my country, Peru. If we’re neutral, how can we be suffering because of the British?”

  “Chile depends heavily on exports. The blockade’s wreaking havoc with our exports, especially the major one, saltpeter or nitrate. My
husband says that taxes on nitrate form a major pillar of our economy. Nitrate is used in gunpowder so we should be getting rich off this war, but the blockade is preventing us from doing business.”

  “So that’s what nitrates are. But James has nothing to do with the war. He’s helping the national rail service. Right now he is examining some rail lines of a nitrate mining company to link them to the EFE.”

  The two women looked at each other. The older one lifted her eyebrows as though to say, “See? I told you so.”

  Carlota started crying in the other room, and Lola excused herself to look in on the baby. The women began to talk almost before she was out of the room, causing her to pause just out of their line of vision.

  “Why would a Britisher want to look at our most sensitive mining areas? And she’s from Peru.”

  “What does Peru have to do with it?”

  “Consuela, I despair of you. Don’t you ever think about anything besides babies and fashion? Peru has always wanted our nitrates. They claimed it was their territory. They even went to war over it, but we won, of course. I’m sure the Peruvians will do anything to keep us from getting the benefit of those deposits—up to and including collaborating with the British.”

  “No. He works for the EFE. He works for us, for our railroad.”

  “That’s what he says.”

  “It’s true. My husband was complaining about it the other day. He said the EFE should look for an engineer from Chile, or even Argentina.”

  Lola hurried to the children’s room and closed the door noisily. The silence as she reentered the living room seemed to suck the air out of her lungs. She tried to smile and offered refreshments.

  The younger woman reached for a tea cake, but her hand froze in midair when her companion spoke. “We didn’t come to eat from your hand today, Señora. We came to tell you we don’t approve of you trying to become part of our society.” Consuela looked as shocked as Lola felt at the woman’s words.

  “My husband’s not responsible for what the British do,” she said as calmly as possible. “He has chosen to make Chile his home. He left England years ago to work on the Panama Canal, and he decided not to return to England. He has nothing to do with the war.”