It's Just Lola

by Dixiane Hallaj

Estela went to school each morning with the bosun’s children; Joseph charmed all the women in the house; Carlota played contentedly. Lola had gone to buy black fabric to make proper mourning clothes, but had returned with material to make dresses and shirts for all the children. It was her contribution to the house. Some women did the cooking, others shopped, everyone watched whichever children were around, and Lola decided to contribute her own skill to the mix.

  The lackadaisical attitude of the inhabitants of the house toward education was the one aspect she did not like. It was difficult for her to continue her oversight of Estela’s learning while the other children spent so little time studying. One afternoon she overheard the oldest boy in the house, Pedro, bemoaning the fact that Uncle Herman was gone. She asked him why he wanted Uncle Herman.

  “He’s the only one that knows about math,” Pedro said disgustedly. “Don’t see why we have to learn this stuff anyway. I wouldn’t do it but the nuns whale the tar out of us if we don’t bring in something.”

  “I could help you if I weren’t so busy,” she said and walked away.

  “That’s a good one,” the boy laughed. Lola turned and raised one eyebrow.

  “Would you care to place a wager?”

  “How much?” asked Pedro warily.

  “If I win, you bring the children to the parlor after school, and we’ll do homework together.”

  “Hmph. And if you lose?”

  “If I lose, I’ll take you all to the store with me tomorrow to pick out a piece of candy for each of you.”

  “You’re on.” He read the problem to Lola. She made him repeat it a second time and closed her eyes. She could hear the shuffling of feet as the other children gathered. They had heard the part about candy.

  “Twelve,” Lola announced.

  “Hey—guessing isn’t fair.”

  “I wasn’t guessing.” Lola began to walk away.

  “You were, too.”

  “Was not.” She tried to get just the right amount of bravado into her tone to make him believe she was bluffing.

  “Prove it.”

  Lola sat and explained how she solved the problem, making him write the steps and see for himself that her answer was correct. Lola pretended not to notice Pedro watching her closely all evening. He listened when she corrected Estela and she saw him shift the way he held his fork to match the way she held hers. The next day he corralled the children into the parlor and Lola looked at their schoolwork. At the end of the session, she awarded each child a piece of candy and promised it would be a weekly treat for everyone who worked hard.

  Maggie was grateful that Lola had taken her son’s education seriously, and they soon became fast friends. Life in the house was like being part of a large relaxed family. There was bickering; there were arguments; there were complaints, but most of all there was laughter and companionship. The women talked about anything and everything in the evenings as they sat around the courtyard. Anything and everything—except the war, the blockade, or the internment of merchant vessels suspected of transporting war materiel.

  Lola took on another task, one that she kept to herself. Each day she went on a walk with her children, and she passed by a newspaper vendor. For half the price of a newspaper, he let her read the names of all the ships that were lost or interned. Each day she breathed a sigh of relief as she carefully refolded the paper and returned home.

  ~ ~ ~

  “Herman, put me down. Think of the children.” Wulf had run straight from the front door to the parlor and grabbed Lola to twirl her around the parlor in a dizzying dance.

  “They’ll get their turn.” He set her down and swooped up Estela and Joseph who had followed him into the parlor. They got an equally dizzying dance before he dug in his pocket and produced candy, sending them out of the room. He turned back to Lola. “I’m so happy to see you. We could see the lights of the city last night, but we had to wait for the tide. I was so afraid you’d left, I nearly swam ashore for fear I’d have to search every house in the whole country to find you again.”

  Lola laughed as she pictured him going door to door asking about her. Then her face got serious. “I haven’t heard from the Embassy yet.”

  “I believe you’re a widow,” he said solemnly. “I’m ready to marry you today. I can’t bear the thought of shipping out again without knowing whether or not you’ll be here when I come home. Don’t fret over proof. What do you need with whatever he had? You have the most valuable treasure a husband could give you—three beautiful children.” He took her hand and her body tingled with excitement. “Lola, it would be my honor and my pleasure to care for you and your children the rest of my life. I love you with all my heart. Please, tell me that you missed me just a little while I was gone.”

  “Maybe just a little,” said Lola.

  Then Wulf’s irrepressible grin reappeared, and he pulled her toward the door. “Come on then, we’re home and it’s time to celebrate.” The bosun was already pouring wine from an enormous jug. There was food and wine and laughter that never seemed to stop. Lola was too shy to say she didn’t want any wine. She sipped slowly. When Wulf’s arm slipped around her waist, it was strong and comforting. She relaxed and listened to the flow of talk around her.

  “Are you happy here?” The quiet question cut through her reverie. Lola nodded. “I’m only a working man, and I’ll never be rich, but I’ll do my best to give you whatever you want.” His arm tightened around her and he kissed the top of her head. She knew she should pull away. Someone brought out snacks and the moment passed.

  An hour later he turned her face toward him and kissed her. Her eyes flew open wide and she struggled to free herself from his embrace. He caught her wrists and whispered in her ear, “Don’t embarrass me in front of my men.”

  “What—“ He put a finger on her lips.

  “Lola, I’m the First Mate of the ship. Do you know what that means?” Lola shook her head. “It means I’m the second in command. If the captain isn’t there, my word is law. In an emergency they must obey me without question. It could be a matter of life and death. I can’t let them see weakness. I have to keep the respect of the men.”

  “What about my respect? You take liberties with me in full view of everyone, but I can’t complain because you might lose respect.” The warm glow from the wine and company evaporated as Lola struggled to keep her voice low enough for their conversation to remain private.

  “I’m sorry, Lola. I didn’t mean any disrespect, and I promise not to do it again unless you say it’s all right. My commission says I’m an officer and a gentleman, but I wasn’t raised a gentleman. I love you so much I couldn’t help myself.”

  “You can’t expect me to believe that. No man in a position of command would have so little self-control.” Lola had a brief memory of her father standing tall and strong at her mother’s grave and galloping off by himself after the ceremony.

  “Lola, I’ve loved you since the moment I set eyes on you. I rearranged the duty schedules so I could be free in the evenings to have dinner with you.”

  “You said the captain commanded you. This is what you call love? Lying to me?”

  “I didn’t lie. The captain said, ‘All right, but if I hear one word of complaint from the passengers you’ll never work for me again.’ I’d have lost my berth if you’d complained.”

  Lola’s mouth dropped open, but she found no words to express her outrage. “You…you…you are incorrigible.” Herman bowed his head, not meeting her eyes.

  “Yes, I am. I admit it.” After a brief pause he added, “And I’ll admit it even after you tell me what incorrigible means.”

  Lola turned her face away from him, but it was to hide the laughter that was bubbling up inside her. What a scamp he was.

  “Lola, I want you to be waiting for me every time I come ashore. I want to care for those wonderful children and their beautiful wonderful mother. If you say so, I’ll go right now and beat on the priest’s door until he gets out of bed. I’ll bri
ng him here by force if necessary and marry you within the hour. I promise I’ll be your slave for life. I’ll do anything you want—always.”

  “What if your men find out that you’re my slave?”

  “Then you’ll have to live on ditch digger wages.”

  He looked at her for a long moment before reaching out to touch her cheek. “You’re so beautiful. I love you with every fiber of my body and soul. I promise I’ll always love you.” He pulled her toward him. “Lola, my love, may I please kiss you?” Taking her silence for the assent that it was, slowly and gently he embraced her and their lips met. Warmth spread throughout her body. She reached up and pulled him closer. A small sound escaped from her throat and he hummed a deep response. She had never felt so alive. Reluctantly she broke the embrace.

  “I’d better go,” she whispered. That night Lola did not sleep easily. Was what she felt for Wulf desire or love? She still had enough money left to reach Enriqueta if she left now, but that would be abandoning whatever James left for her and the children. If she stayed, could she resist Wulf’s advances?

  Wulf shipped out once more before Lola decided that what she felt for him was love.

  XVI. August, 1917: Lola Age 23

  “You shouldn’t be out of bed so soon after childbirth.” Lola ground her teeth in frustration. This was the most ridiculous argument she’d ever had. Wulf loved her dearly and only wanted to do the right thing, but sometimes he had a very tenuous grasp of the realities of family life. “Herman, I’ll be riding in a carriage both ways and sitting in the bank manager’s office while I’m there. It’ll be the most relaxing afternoon I have had in ages.”

  “You know carriages bounce around. It won’t be relaxing.”

  “Riding even the bounciest carriage has to be easier than doing laundry for three children and an infant.”

  “You’ve been doing laundry?”

  Lola put her hands on her hips. “God doesn’t send his angels down to do it for me. What do you think I was doing every afternoon while you were in the parlor with the children?”

  “I thought you were resting. Maggie and the other women...”

  “...are our friends,” said Lola. “They aren’t servants, and I can’t ask them to do laundry.”

  “I’m sorry, Lola, I guess I didn’t think about that. All right, I’ll go with you.”

  “Thank you, Herman, but you should stay here and walk Nellie if she wakes up. Maggie’ll fix a sugar-water teat for her if you need it. I’ll come back as soon as I can.”

  An hour later Lola was once again sitting in front of the desk of the Central Bank manager, dressed in her best dress and hat. “Señor Fernandez, I’m pleased you still remember me. It’s been a very difficult year for me. As you can imagine, with the war, the British Embassies have little interest in the livelihood of a widow and her small children.” She put enough of an edge in her voice to let the man know that she felt he was personally responsible for her difficulties. She extended the letter she was carrying. “Here’s the proof you require.” The man took the letter and read it carefully before handing it back to Lola.

  “If Señora would wait for me, I will bring a statement to you.” When it seemed that the Embassy in Peru was unable to get the letter, she had given Wulf a letter to deliver to the British Embassy in Chile. Secretary Smythe was no longer with the Embassy and Minister Stronge said he would send an answer to Lima—and that had taken a year. Lola wondered how a government that conducted a war across at least two oceans and entire continents could take a year to deliver a simple letter from Chile to Peru. When Señor Fernandez returned, his face had bad news written all over it.

  “I’m sorry, Señora.” He extended a paper toward her.

  Lola felt faint when she read the paper. “There must be a mistake,” she whispered. “Is this all? He said I’d never have to worry if anything happened to him. He told me that he’d made provisions for our future.” She was devastated. Had he lied? No, she was certain that his strong feelings of honor would not have permitted it. She suddenly thought of the dearest ring, knotted in a handkerchief and tucked away against a day she might once again be reduced to eating half-rotten vegetables. James had known the name of each stone. “What would a person do if he had jewels to safeguard?”

  “He’d get a safety deposit box.”

  “Did you check to see if my husband had one of those?”

  The manager excused himself and returned two minutes later. “You are correct, Señora; your husband did have a safety deposit box. If you come with me, I will assist you to open the box.”

  “Thank you.” Profound relief swept over Lola. She followed Señor Fernandez into the vault. He located the proper box and took it to a table before opening it for her. He stepped back to allow her a semblance of privacy as she looked into the box.

  There was paper with English writing on top. It wasn’t money and it wasn’t jewelry. She set it aside on the table. Underneath she found…another paper, then another and another. Disbelief and shock nearly paralyzed her. “It’s a box full of paper,” she said to Señor Fernandez. “Look. It’s just paper.” She blinked back tears.

  He stepped forward and picked up one of the papers. Excitement replaced his professional expression. His eyes sparkled and he grinned like a small boy. “You’re a very fortunate woman, Señora. Your husband was clever and forward thinking. These are stock certificates.”

  “Stocks? You mean companies?” She looked again and recognized some of the names.

  Señor Fernandez explained how stocks continued to increase in value. He advised her not to sell them until it was absolutely necessary. Back in his office, he did some calculations. “The value of one of these nearly doubled in the year since you first came here. I’m not familiar with all of them, but I’m sure they’ve all appreciated greatly. I suggest you take a box in your own name to keep these safe. If someone takes a certificate or destroys it, you cannot recover it. Once it’s in your name, you only need to appear at the bank with your key and they’ll allow you access to your box.”

  While she waited for Señor Fernandez to prepare the paperwork for the new box, she thought about his words. If she told Wulf about the stocks, he’d want to sell them. She didn’t doubt Wulf’s love, but he spent most of his time at sea and had no concept of planning for the future. There’d follow a wonderful time when he wouldn’t have to go to sea and would spend all the time at home…and then the money would be gone. She had learned firsthand the uncertainties of life. If, God forbid, anything happened to Wulf she would need to fend for herself and her children. She clamped her jaws in determination.

  “If you’ll sign here, Señora,” said the bank manager, interrupting her thoughts. As he walked her to the door, he told her that she was always welcome and he would personally attend her on any future visits. It was his cordial manner, more than his words, that made Lola believe that those papers were worth a great deal of money.

  “That took you long enough,” complained Wulf when she returned home. “I was getting worried about you.”

  “I made them keep looking for another account, perhaps under a different spelling.” She held out the cash she’d withdrawn. “I expected more.” Her disappointment was sincere—not at the lack of money, but because she didn’t trust her husband to handle it.

  Wulf looked impressed with the money she gave him. “I never wanted more than your beautiful self and your wonderful children when I married you, and I’ve never been disappointed. You are the treasure beyond compare.”

  Lola felt guilty as she kissed him. He’d spoken the truth about his love. His adoration never wavered. Every time he walked through the door, he was as happy to see her as he had been the first time he came home and found her still in the house.

  The next day Wulf left the house early. He returned late in the afternoon with a skinny young girl in a cheap red dress that was so tight Lola wondered how she could walk. The girl’s eyes darted back and forth with a hunted look that reminded
Lola of the stable cats on the plantation—looking for something to be tossed their way, but ready to run at the slightest sudden move.

  “Maggie,” called Lola without taking her eyes off Wulf and the girl. “can you come here a minute, please?” Maggie appeared, wiping her hands on her apron. “Can you take our ‘guest’ into the kitchen and get her something to eat? I need to talk to my husband—alone.”

  Maggie looked from one to the other and wordlessly reached out for the girl’s hand to lead her away. “Dear God in Heaven!” the older woman exclaimed.

  “What?” Lola’s eyes left her husband for the first time. Maggie turned the unresisting girl around and showed Lola the other side of her face, purple and swollen with a recent gash over the cheekbone.

  “Wulf, how did this happen?” Lola whirled on her husband.

  “I had nothing to do with that, I swear. She was that way when I got her.” He took a step backward as Lola advanced on him. “Listen to me. Let me explain.” He kept walking backward, and Lola pointed toward the parlor door. She followed him in and kicked the door shut behind her.

  “Talk,” she commanded.

  “You said you needed someone to do laundry…”

  “So you snatched a girl-whore off the street to do laundry? How did she get those bruises?” She’d never being this angry with him.

  “Lola, Sweetheart, you know I’d never do that. I know how hard you work, and I wanted to help.” He put his hand under her chin, tilting her face up toward his. “I love you, Lola—even when you’re mad at me. But today you have no cause for anger. Just ask her.”

  Lola’s anger melted as he gently kissed her and drew her toward him. A voice inside her told her not to let him manipulate her, but she told it to be quiet as she returned his kiss. How could she be angry with a man who loved her so passionately?

  “I’m not through being angry,” she said, “but I’ll listen.”

  “Last night I watched you as you slept. You’re so beautiful. When you sleep you look like an angel visiting the earth. I want you to be happy and I see how hard you work. So I started thinking how I might get someone who would be willing to do laundry and be at your call whenever you needed her. You should be in bed resting still, yet you go up and down those stairs and you do laundry when you should be sleeping and building your strength.