Before the Storm (The Cochran/Deveraux Series Book 9)

by Melanie Schuster

  When she was held in his warm embrace with her hands caressing those broad shoulders she felt so safe and secure there was nothing in the world that could touch her. When he was dressed for the office, before he put on his suit coat, she loved the way he filled out his shirt, the way his lean muscles tapered into his slim waist. And when she remembered how she saw him naked for the first time she had to turn her head into the pillow to keep from moaning out loud. The first time she’d seen him without clothes was their wedding night, the night she found out what it meant to be a woman in love with a man who loved her back. Hot tears made an unwelcome appearance and she fought them as long as she could, but they leaked out anyway. It happened every time she remembered the magical night in the guest house. As though she had no will of her own, her thoughts went back to that beautiful time that they would never share again....

  ***

  The bedroom of the guesthouse was lovely, filled with antique reproductions and smelling like flowers from the bowls of potpourri and the scented candles that were burning all around. The mattress was incredible, pouffy and soft but with an underlying firmness. There was a featherbed on top of the mattress and it was amazing to lie on, but that was all due to Julian. They had taken a bubble bath together and his hands had caressed her all over, bringing her to the brink of indescribable release over and over, but he wouldn’t let her go into that sexual abyss. Their first time, he insisted, should be in bed. And when he brought her to their marriage bed, it was with such tenderness that she knew he cherished her. She could look into his beautiful eyes and see nothing but love and what she saw in his eyes made her want to weep. He’d handed her a flute of champagne and saluted her with the one in his hand.

  “To my only love, my Chocolat, my wife,” he murmured.

  “I’ll always love you, Julian. You’re everything to me,” she whispered. They each took a sip of the cold, bubbly libation and he took the flutes and put them on the bedside table. He reached for her and she went into his arms without hesitation. Their mouths met eagerly and their champagne-flavored tongues met, deepening the kiss and exciting her to an even higher level of desire. He took the gardenia out of her hair and loosened it from the loose updo, spreading it out on the pillow.

  “That’s how I pictured you,” he told her. “The first time I met you, I could see you in a big soft bed with your hair all over the pillow.”

  His hands were exploring her breasts while he looked at her the way no man ever had and no other man ever would. She wanted to speak but he put his mouth on her breasts, licking and sucking her sensitive nipple as though it were a gourmet chocolate. While she was abandoning herself to that exquisite sensation, his hand was traveling down her body, stroking her stomach and farther down to the triangle of silky curls that defined her womanhood. She moved urgently, opening her thighs so that he could touch her where he wanted, as his caress drew a fire out of her she didn’t know she possessed. When both her breasts had been treated to his exquisite loving, he began to apply the same sweet torture to her body, slowly licking every inch of her, lavishing a long languorous kill on her navel, all the while fondling and manipulating her tender folds until her breathing was coming in small, soft pants.

  “Julian,” she breathed. “Julian, Julian...ohhh,” she cried as his mouth found the very core of her yearning. She wasn’t prepared for the force of the orgasm that shook her body, but she welcomed it, moving her hips and crying her husband’s name. He loved her fiercely yet tenderly, his lips and tongue making a feast of her, swallowing her honeyed nectar as though it were the essence of life to him. When he was finally finished he licked his way up to her mouth and another banquet ensued as they kissed long and hard. His hands slid down her curves to her hips, where he held her firmly but gently as he began to ease into the opening he’d so lovingly prepared. Her eyes were locked on his but she couldn’t keep them open as she felt his length become one with her for the first time. It was slow and easy at first, the hard thickness of his desire opening her, expanding her in a way she’d never experienced. What should have been painful was pure pleasure and she wrapped her legs around his waist to accommodate him, urging him with quick movements of her sweat dampened hips to push harder. She clung to his shoulders as he pumped into her, and a sudden brief pain signaled the end of her innocence and the beginning of real passion.

  She could only hold onto his shoulders, tightening her legs around him as they continued to mate, harder and faster until a shattering explosion rocked them both into their own private galaxy. He cried her name hoarsely while she moaned and bit into his shoulder. Even though they both climaxed in a thunderous, heated release, they couldn’t stop. It went on and on until Julian finally pulled away and reversed their positions so she was lying on top of him. They were both sweaty and breathless and the musky aroma of their love drifted through the room with the scent from the candles. Maya was crying by now, her tears dripping down his neck.

  “Did I hurt you, baby? I didn’t mean to, but I couldn’t stop. Are you okay, sweetheart?”

  “I’m happy, Julian. I’m so happy that you love me. I had no idea it would be like this.” She wiped the tears away and snuggled even closer. “We belong to each other, Julian, and we’re never, ever going to be apart.”

  He wrapped his arms around her even tighter. “No, Chocolat, never. We’ll always be together, baby, I promise you.”

  ***

  That damned dream. It was the main reason she woke up in such a conflicted mood. Whenever she thought about their wedding night she would dream about it in such detail that she would wake up tingling all over. It hurt so badly to relive that night when she and Julian were madly in love and their whole lives were ahead of them. It was painful enough when she was alone, but with him in her house it was so agonizing to think about it she wanted to lock herself in the bathroom and cry. Thank God she didn’t have time for that foolishness; she had a child to take care of. She threw back the sheet that covered her and got up. Prudently putting on a robe, she first went to check on Corey, who was usually wide awake by now. Her bed was empty, although neatly made up. She could hear Paris and Corey chatting away about something downstairs, so she hurried to get dressed and join them.

  After she washed up and dressed in a cool-looking sundress with a fun pattern of tropical fish on it, she went downstairs expecting to find Corey and Paris in the kitchen. Instead, there was Julian, standing in front of the stove making breakfast. She frowned at the sight of him, but she was going to handle her business this morning and Julian Deveraux wasn’t going to rattle her, not today.

  “Where’s my daughter?” The edge in her voice had the same effect as flinging down a gauntlet. To her surprise, Julian didn’t take the bait. He turned around and gave her a perfectly civil reply.

  “Our daughter is accompanying her aunt while she walks the dog. I didn’t think you’d mind if she went out for a little while. Good morning to you, too,” he added.

  “Good morning,” she said, a little embarrassed that she had to be prompted to show her normal good manners. The appetizing aroma of whatever he was cooking finally got to Maya and she had to comment. “That smells good.”

  “I’m making you breakfast. Banana pancakes and turkey bacon with scrambled eggs, orange juice and coffee. Have a seat.”

  She sat down automatically even as she protested that she couldn’t eat that much. He turned around and gave her the smile that could still make her knees knock. “You need to eat that much. You’re looking a little skinny.”

  He set a plate in front of her and her eyes lit up with pleasure. Julian used to cook breakfast for her all the time when they were married and he could make pancakes like no one else in this world. She thanked him before bowing her head to say grace. While she put her napkin in her lap she asked how Corey had liked her breakfast. He sat down across from her and poured her coffee from the carafe in his hand.

  “Corey was most impressed that her daddy could cook,” he said with a proud smile. �
��She said I could cook almost as good as her mommy, which I gathered was high praise.”

  Maya’s eyes closed as she took her first bite of the golden brown pancake. “These taste just like I remember them. They’re delicious, Julian, thank you.”

  She ate in silence for a few minutes, trying to ignore Julian’s close scrutiny. She really didn’t have much of a choice in the matter because he chose that moment to start speaking.

  “Maya, I’ve been trying to make sense of this and you’re going to have to help me out here. I’ve been trying to figure out why you kept our child a secret from me for four years and I can’t come up with any kind of answer that makes sense. If you just hated me, that would be one thing, but I don’t think you do. You named her after me, Maya. You made those beautiful scrapbooks and told her all about me and my family. You’ve done an amazing job of raising her by yourself, but what I don’t understand is why you did it? Why in the hell couldn’t you pick up a phone and tell me you were carrying our child? What did I do that was so horrible that you couldn’t even let me know I was a father?” Julian didn’t raise his voice, which in a way was worse than yelling.

  Maya stared at him and put her fork down. “I should have been more persistent, I guess. I should have done it through the court system, I should have tried harder to make you a part of Corey’s life and I’ll always regret that I didn’t. You’ll never know how guilty I feel about that,” she said passionately. “But Julian, what I don’t understand is why you keep acting as though I never tried to contact you. I tried calling you when I found out I was pregnant. I wrote you when I found out your phone number had been changed. And I got your answer, that you had no interest in me or my child and that a clean break was best. You didn’t even offer child support and I wasn’t about to ask you for it. So why do you keep acting like you didn’t have any part in this?” Maya wasn’t as successful in keeping her voice level and it had gotten louder and more strident with anger as she spoke. Julian didn’t seem to notice that, he was too focused on what she was saying.

  “Maya, what are you talking about? You never contacted me and I certainly never gave you an answer of any kind. Do you honestly think I could ignore my own child? How could you think that I would let you have our child alone and raise it without me? You don’t know me at all, do you?”

  Maya was staring at him, vainly trying to make sense of what he was saying. “All I know is that you promised to love me forever but you left me for Monica. Monica became more important to you than me or our marriage and that’s what made me leave. And I still have the letters, Julian. I have the letters you sent me when I wrote to you about my pregnancy and about Corey’s birth. As to your question, no, Julian, I don’t know you at all. The man I married, the man I loved is gone and all that’s left is you,” she said hotly, not caring at all that his face paled and his eyes looked unnaturally black and full of pain.

  “I have no idea what you’re talking about, Maya. Hell, I don’t even know why you still believe that Monica and I were having an affair. No matter how many times I told you it wasn’t true, you insisted it was. I kept telling you it wasn’t true and you kept at me like some kind of prosecutor, you just kept nagging me and blaming me and you wouldn’t listen to a word I had to say. I was never unfaithful to you, Maya. Not in thought, not in concept and certainly not in deed. There was never any other woman in my life, Maya, never. And especially not Monica. I could never understand where you got that crazy idea.” He was on his feet now, pacing back and forth with his hands in his pockets, looking as confused as she felt.

  She had to suppress a strange urge to comfort him. This wasn’t the time to get weak, everything had to come out now or they’d never get these things said. “You wait right here, Julian. I’ve got the letters and I’ll show them to you,” she said as she rose from the breakfast table and walked over to the doorway to go to the living room. She went to a credenza, opened the bottom drawer and took out a big manila envelope. She went back into the kitchen and tossed it to him.

  “I didn’t make it up, Julian,” she said wearily. “It wasn’t like I suddenly woke up and said, ‘Hey, my husband is sleeping around on me!’” she said bitterly. “Someone I trusted, someone you trusted, came to me and told me what was going on, Julian. I didn’t ask for the information, they volunteered it.

  “And it wasn’t just words—there were pictures, dates, places, all kinds of details. I asked you about it because I wanted you to tell me it wasn’t true. I wanted you to deny it, but you wouldn’t. You just kept saying it wasn’t possible and that I was crazy. That I was being paranoid and neurotic, remember? You would never defend yourself or explain your actions. All you would do is look at me like I was dirt on the floor and say it wasn’t possible. Why wasn’t it possible, Julian? Men stray all the time, so why was it just so impossible that you did the same thing?”

  Julian had stopped pacing and was reading the two letters rapidly. They were written on a computer and there was no signature. They read exactly the way she’d told him, brief perfunctory letters that dismissed her as though she were nothing. He couldn’t believe that she accepted the callous words as coming from him. He threw the letters on the floor and grabbed her upper arms.

  “Why wouldn’t I cheat on you? Because I loved you, damn it! Because you were the only woman I wanted, the only one I needed. I didn’t want anyone else but you, Maya. There was no one else in the world but you. And whoever told you otherwise is a liar, a sick and twisted liar. Who told you all those lies, Maya?”

  She stared at him for a long moment, looking into his eyes as though they held the key to her salvation. In a voice barely above a whisper she told him the name and was shocked when all the color left his face.

  “Maya, I don’t know how things got this messed up, but we’re going to fix this. We’re going to get to the bottom of this and put it behind us,” he said in something like his normal tone of voice.

  Maya wanted to believe him with all her heart, but too much had happened; there was too much betrayal and bad feelings to just wish it all away. “Julian, that’s a nice notion, but it’s not going to happen. I’ll never stop regretting that I didn’t push harder to make Corey a part of your life and you can have regular visitation. I’m never going to try to keep you two apart, I promise that. But as for the rest of it, that ship sailed a long time ago, and I think we both know it. We’re divorced now, or did you forget that?”

  To her utter surprise Julian relaxed his grip on her arms, and began stroking them softly, his hands moving up and down in a comforting rhythm. “Uhh, there’s something I’ve been meaning to tell you, Maya. About the divorce, that is. We’re not. Divorced, I mean. We’re actually still man and wife.”

  Chapter 21

  “What?” Maya was shaking her head like there was water in her ear. “I’m sorry, I didn’t hear you right. What did you say?”

  “I said we’re still married, Maya,” Julian said quietly. “Didn’t you notice you never got the papers back? Didn’t that lawyer of yours ever mention the fact that I never responded? How could you not know the divorce wasn’tfinal?”

  Maya shook his hands off her arms and started walking back and forth, not looking at him. “This is impossible. It’s impossible,” she mumbled. “I went back to Connecticut after I left Louisiana, basically because I couldn’t think of anywhere else to go. My parents weren’t surprised to see me, at least my mother wasn’t. She always told me I couldn’t hold on to you. She said a woman like me was just setting herself up by getting involved with a man like you because I wasn’t going to be enough for you. Nice, huh? Lots of support there,” she said with a nasty little laugh.

  “I went to Daddy’s lawyer and he drew up the papers. I can’t remember what happened next because Daddy got sick. He had prostate cancer and he’d apparently had it for some time. All I could do was stand back and watch, basically. I went from doctor’s office to doctor’s office, I begged him to take his medications, but they made him sick. I be
gged him to eat, but he couldn’t. I spent hours and hours in the hospital watching him die a slow and painful death. And oh, by the way, I had figured out I was pregnant by then and I also spent a lot of time throwing up. It was a fun time for me, Julian, just a real party. So, no, I didn’t really notice that I didn’t get some final divorce papers in the mail.

  “I was too busy dealing with hospice care, because my mother couldn’t handle it. I was too busy making funeral arrangements, because my mother had taken to her bed. I was too busy trying to get through probate and get rid of the house because my mother couldn’t stand the thought of living there anymore. And then I was too busy having a baby to worry about it anymore. After I got those letters from you I just didn’t give a damn. I didn’t care what happened to you anymore, Julian, I was finished. I’d had all I could take from you and I had someone who needed me. I had my baby and she was all that mattered.” She raked her fingers through her hair, disheveling it completely. Her pacing finally stopped at the counter by the sink. Slowly she turned around and looked at him with utter hatred in her eyes.

  “And now you have the gall to tell me we’re not divorced? And you somehow think we can make this all better?” Of its own volition, as though she had no control over its movement, her hand reached into a bowl of very ripe tomatoes and she picked up the biggest one and threw it at him, scoring a direct hit in the middle of his chest.

  “You idiot!” she said hotly as she hurled another, this one hitting him in the forehead. “You threw the papers away?” What kind of moronic sub-species did you come from, you selfish pretty boy? You manipulative jerk, how dare you?”