by Palmer, Dee
The room is cleared and Daniel closes the door, pulls the blind over the window pane in the door, closes the blinds on the glass panel partition and the windows to the outside world. He grins as he walks toward me and I get a flutter deep in my tummy. He sits carefully on the edge of the bed but I wince at the movement, he narrows his eyes and bites his bottom lip. I tap my throat with the one hand that isn’t hooked up to the tubes and croak. “Hurts to talk.”
His smile is wider now and he draws in a deep breath. “Perfect . . . because I want you to listen. Since you are still in considerable pain lets hope you are less likely to argue with me or be stubborn. It might prove a little difficult to have to spank you while you are still in recovery . . . difficult, but not impossible.” His lips curl at the sensual tease of punishment.
I snort and immediately regret the searing pain, as muscles I never knew were involved in such a simple non-verbal display scream in agony. I still tingle deep inside at his threat but it’s also funny that I could feel remotely turned on, looking like I must and feeling like I do. But this is Daniel and there go my senses.
“Bad things happen when we aren’t together.” He takes my hand, turns it in his palm, his thumb traces circles on the soft skin of my wrist. “Bad things happen when I try to protect you without telling you that is what I am trying to do and bad things happen when you try to save me without telling me what you are trying to do. But mostly bad things happen when we don’t trust each other. I knew Angel and Sebastian were up to something but I didn’t know what and I couldn’t bring myself to believe it was Angel.” He closes his eyes with obvious pain and I squeeze his hand because I understand.
“First loves,” I whisper and although it hurts to say it, if this gets everything out in the open and we can move on we have to face the ugly too.
“What?” His dark brow is knitted with confusion and his tone is filled with shock.
“First love Daniel” My voice is gaining strength the more I try to speak but it still sounds scratchy and fragile. “Angel said she was—” I gasp as he silences me with an urgent kiss before he pulls back shaking his head assuredly.
“She wasn’t my first love Bethany. Fuck she wasn’t even a Hallmark moment but she was a friend and I trusted her.” He draws in a heavy sigh, “I trusted her more than I trusted you and I will never forgive myself—”
“Stop.” I interrupt as sternly as I can, “Stop please, you saved me, again. There is nothing to forgive.” He holds my sincere stare and I watch as his eyes soften but I start to chew my lip to prevent myself asking the question that is now burning my tongue.
“Ask me?” He softly demands and grins at his open book in a hospital gown. I shake my head.
“You think I won’t spank that question out of you?” He straightens his back and adjusts his loose lounge pants. I am hit with a full wave of instant heat, raw and tingly. His gaze is fixed with lust and mischief. I try to wriggle to ease the ache but am shocked still with the very distracting and very real pain in my side. His hand reaches for my cheek and he cups it tenderly, his smile is wide and heart stealing. “Bethany, you are my only love, first, last . . . everything.” He leans in to deliver what I know will be an amazingly passionate kiss to seal his desire but my lips can’t hold the seriousness a moment longer as I let out a snicker. His eyes widen and he looks a little stunned. “What?”
“Barry White Daniel, really?” I hold my lips with my fingers flat against them to stop a full laugh escaping.
“Hey there is nothing wrong with borrowing lyrics from the master, besides it’s a classic.” His smile widens and he again leans in to ever so gently kiss my bruised lips and cheeks and brows and nose. He holds my hands silently for a few moments and I can see he still has much he needs to say so I wait patiently enjoying the comfort of his nearness. “At first it was exactly as I told you at Ethan’s place that weekend. I felt this was my chance at redemption for causing so much death. This was my chance to make amends and Angel would forgive me, she would finally be able to be happy but some things didn’t quite add up. I had to do this myself because whatever they were doing; well, I didn’t want to put you in danger. He deals with some pretty nasty individuals and I needed you out of the picture. I think I could have kept us together if you hadn’t been so stubborn but because you . . .” He takes a deep breath and sighs. “I made the decision it was safest to hurt you, push you away, make you hate me to keep you safe but you . . .” He sighs again as he tries to find the most delicate way to insult me. “You couldn’t help yourself and you were likely to say something to Angel before I could learn the truth. I can’t blame you for that, she had me so fucked up I didn’t know what to believe. She got me thinking that you would never really want me after learning what I had done. You could pretend for a while but how could you possibly want a life with me, want to be with me, want me after I . . .” He drops his forehead on my thigh and it’s my turn to trace my fingers through is thick hair. “I was so close to learning the truth. Jason had been investigating Sebastian’s business in South America and Jack Wilson had managed to get some family history that had been buried. I was so mad after the club that I needed time to cool down. That you could be so reckless? I know I hurt you. God I wish I could take that night back. I had arranged to meet Angel on the Monday after the wedding, after seeing you, being with you. I didn’t want to wait any longer, I thought I had enough to tackle Angel and end it all but then you disappeared.” His soft lips sweep gentle kisses across the back of my hand and I can feel the scratch from his unkempt stubble.
“Sofia called me on the Tuesday and I knew something bad had happened. We met and I talked her through our options none of which involved letting Angel know we suspected her. Sofia was fucking mad at me but not as angry as I was with myself. I let you down. I didn’t protect you and I couldn’t find you. Five fucking weeks! I tracked her but she spent all her time at the apartment and I had searched that myself. The tracker wasn’t sophisticated enough to pick up which floor she was on. I had the recorder in the watch I gave her activated and I knew she had you but it still didn’t click you were in her building just buried under someone else’s flat in the basement. You nearly fucking gave me a heart attack with the hummus shit and it’s only because she got careless and Pat saw her go through a door that didn’t belong to her that we were even there at the right time. Fuck Bethany you could’ve died!” I know he is angry but the love in his eyes makes my heart burst and a smile so wide it cracks my lips spreads across my face.
“I didn’t think you were coming. I saw the necklace and I hoped . . . but then after so many days and nothing. I lost hope that you were coming and after she . . . and Kit.” I squeeze my eyes and rub the painful tingle in my nose, “I knew I was alone . . . it didn’t matter if I died, I just couldn’t let her win. I couldn’t let her have our baby.” There I’ve said it.
“I will always come for you, always. I will always come for both of you, always.” He slowly moves his hand and slips it under the sheet, over the top of my ‘sexy’ hospital gown and lays it flat on my bump. I get a flutter in my tummy and the monitor beside me picks up its staccato beat. The flutter starts again and Daniels eyes widen. He pulls the sheet back and smoothes the gown flat. He lifts his hand and places it gently once more on my, much larger than I remember, bump. Flutter again, and again, butterflies are definitely felt higher and there is no way I’m nervous. I smile and gasp and laugh all at once but he has just frozen. He shifts and removes his wallet from his back pocket; he flicks through some notes and picks out a crumpled piece of paper. “So this scan, this here . . . is our baby?” I nod and laugh as he grabs a pen and scribbles over Angel’s name, leaving no trace. “I’ll want a better picture, when you are recovered. We will get another one yes?” His excitement is infectious and he just keeps staring at the picture but I shake my head because it still just looks like a grey swirly pattern to me. The fluttering in my pelvis is much more heart stealing.
“You’re not m
ad?” He looks shocked at the worry on my face and the uncertainty in my voice.
“Oh baby, I am way beyond mad. Putting yourself in danger like—”
I interrupt. “No no, I mean about the baby?” He tucks some hair that won’t be tamed back around my ear and drops his head slightly, his hair falling into his eyes. He looks up through his lashes and blows the hair away with a gruff exhale of breath.
“Yes I’m fucking furious you didn’t tell me. I’m fucking furious I didn’t pick up the signs but no baby,” he gently cups my cheek and I lean in to his touch. “I am not mad that we are having a baby. I can’t quite get my head round it all yet and I don’t think I will until you are fully recovered but I’m stoked I get to be a Dad. That you are carrying my child does crazy shit to me I can’t begin to describe and I fucking love that you are going to be a Mum.” He is quiet and I can feel him processing everything, so much information, so much drama. I feel him shudder and look to meet his gaze. “Fuck when I saw Kits body and thought it was you . . . I died a thousand deaths in that one second.” He stops at my soft sob and looks utterly confused. “Don’t you dare feel sorry for that bitch she got—”
“Stop!” I gasp shaking my head, he does but he looks shocked at my outburst, which has just scored my throat raw. “She was going to help me.”
He tilts his head with a suspicious raised brow. “You sure about that? She was the one that got you there in the first place.”
“I know but yes I’m sure.” I shake my head because it’s started to throb. “She promised to tell you about the baby, after, so she would’ve saved the baby at least.” I say quietly.
“After you died you mean, after they had murdered you! Oh she’s a fucking Saint.” He barks out with unconfined bitterness and fury.
“No Daniel enough. I mean it. I know she wasn’t a Saint but she was going to save the baby. That’s why Angel killed her and that alone cuts her a lot of slack in my book, besides it doesn’t matter now does it.” My voice breaks with the strain of speaking and the emotion I feel, because however twisted our relationship, she was my sister and it may be naïve but I choose to believe she was going to help.
“Ok baby, I didn’t mean to make you upset, if anything I’m just so fucking angry at myself for letting you out of my sight.” His tone is deadly serious, his jaw is clenched and his eyes fix with mine.
“Yeah coz that’s healthy.” I quip.
“Fuck healthy! I nearly lost you and trust me that is never going to happen again.” He huffs through his nose and I half expect him to beat on his chest and drag me by what’s left of my hair to his cave. But I also understand he was probably just as frightened as I was. I am just so glad that he cares enough to be a little bit crazy. “And you’re going to marry me right? I mean that’s not negotiable now?”
“Well how could I refuse such a romantic proposal.” I think I manage to hiss this because despite this being my dreamed of reunion he is starting to piss me off. He drags one hand through his hair and takes a calming breath obviously noticing my new tension and clipped tone.
“Christ! I’m fucking this up. Look . . . It’s just . . . it’s . . . I can’t lose you again Bethany.” He takes this moment to cup my face once more, his fingertips gently secure and angle my head so he can brush his lips across mine. I can feel his body vibrate as it fights to keep the kiss soft for fear of hurting me, when he clearly wants to do anything but keep it soft. “Will you marry me? It’s the right thing to do.” His soft words started so well but the ending falls flat in my ears.
I pull back and close my eyes. This is hard because I can hear the uncertainty and longing in his voice in equal measure but I don’t need a knee jerk proposal. “Daniel you don’t have to ask me to marry you just because of the baby or because you suddenly feel responsible in some way. We’ve been through a lot but I don’t . . .” I falter as his eyes flash with fury and if I didn’t endure searing pain at the slightest move I would try and pull myself away from the intensity of the rage currently radiating from his body. His jaw is ticking wildly and his tried and tested release of dragging his hand through his hair has been tried, tested and failed.
“Fuck! You are unbelievable you know that! And just so as you know, I am storing all this shit you keep spouting. I am making a list and it is not going to Santa. Once you are able to walk out of here you are not going to be able to walk for a week or sit down for a month.” He pulls his lips through his teeth and my eyes flick to his mouth then back to his feral eyes. “I have been asking you to marry me for months. It has fuck all to do with the baby and has everything to do with me wanting to spend every day of the rest of my life with the one person in the world I can’t live a day without. The only woman I have ever truly loved, the only woman I know I don’t deserve but the one I’m going to spend every waking minute of every single day, trying to prove otherwise. Yes, we’ve been through a lot, but it’s all relative, it’s our normal. That’s not to say I would like our normal to be a little less horror movie and a lot more X-rated movie but what it definitely isn’t is a fucking tragedy. This is our normal and our movie has the fucking fairy tale ending. So, I’ll give you the romance, you know that baby but for right now, you have to give me my answer.” He is kneeling beside my bed, empty handed but holding my one cable free hand in both of his and my eyes have been trickling with a series of tears since he said ‘Fuck’ with the utter frustration of a man consumed with love, love for me. I nod but he shakes his head, his lips curl into a breath taking grin. “No baby. I need to hear the words.”
I sniff back the tears with a laugh and continue to nod. “Yes Daniel I’ll marry you.”
“Yeah you will.” He stands and covers my mouth with his sweet soft lips and for now I am glad he is back to treating me like I’m made of glass because there is not an inch of me that doesn’t hurt. Well, except my heart because that only hurts because it wants to burst for the first time in a long time. I don’t remember him pulling away, I must have fallen asleep during the kiss. It felt so good I just let myself drift and fall knowing he was there to catch me, would always catch me. When I open my eyes the room is much darker, I don’t have the disorientation I did when I first woke up. I know exactly where I am, I know exactly what happened and I know exactly who is lying in a tiny made up bed beside me. His on his side facing me, his dark hair flopped over his face, his eyes closed but even resting and covered in shadow I can see the exhaustion and seriousness edging his handsome features. His eyes open and instantly the smile that creeps across softens and lightens his face and my heart. “Hey.” His deep voice soothes and tingles. He lifts his head a little and tucks his arm under to rest it at an elevated angle.
“Hey.” I whisper back not sure who I am trying not to disturb. My voice sounds less croaky and doesn’t feel so raw. “Shouldn’t you still be in your own bed, you still have a band on your wrist so I assume you haven’t actually been discharged yet?”
“There is nothing they need to do to me that they can’t do right here. I’m a little sore but I haven’t had major surgery or lost nearly my own body weight in blood.” He grins and flashes his killer smile. “They had a fucking fight not letting me see you sooner when you were still unconscious so I’d like to see them try and keep me away from you now.”
In that case I pat the bed for him to join me but narrow my eyes when he shakes his head. “I think you said something about ‘not keeping away?’” I try to shift over but stop and take a sharp breath at the first attempt at movement. He is instantly at my side.
“Ok Ok you win but don’t move. I’ll just wrap around you.” He lets out a defeated sigh but smiles when he sees my smile.
“It’s not a game, I don’t care about winning. I just want you.” I lean my head into his chest, his arm awkwardly resting over my head and him rolled on his side, his heat and body just the right kind of medicine. He kisses my hair and whispers.
“No more games, just you and me and a shit load of trust.” I can feel his ste
ady thump of his heart and his soft breath against my hair. The calm makes me think he has fallen asleep but then he speaks again. “Just to clarify, I didn’t mean no more games in the bedroom—”
“Ow ow,” I cry out because my sudden laugh hurts like hell.
“Sorry baby.” He chuckles, deep and throaty. “But there is no way I’m giving up playtime with you. I fucking love playtime with you.” His gravelly tone has just ignited a surge of nerves previously numb with pain killers and by the feel of his smile against my head he knows it.
When I wake next it is because the nurse is changing my IV, the room is bright. Daniel is sitting beside me looking fresh, clean and a little too hot to be good for my recovery. I feel better, I mean I feel like I’ve been hit with a truck but I feel better despite that. Once the nurse leaves Daniel is again by my side and I get the feeling it has been like that whether I am awake or not. He leans in to kiss my cheek and steps to the side, still holding my hand. My eyes meet Ethans’ and his sadness stops my smile before it takes hold. Tom is beside him with his hand on his sons shoulder for comfort. I guess I must still look pretty shocking, I can see Tom push Ethan forward and I am so confused. Daniel leans in to whisper that Ethan blames himself for Kit and now I’m really confused. Daniel excuses himself and I reach my hand to Ethan which he takes reluctantly.
“Hey.” I exhale and smile but it does nothing to ease the obvious tension.
“Bets, I’m so sorry. I didn’t know. God, I didn’t know who she was . . . I thought . . . I believed she—” His eyes are liquid brown and the tears fall and break my heart for him and for Kit.
“Ethan, please,” I grip his hand tightly. “It’s not your fault and she did.” His eyes snap to mine, angry and hurt with betrayal. I just hope I can make him understand, make him believe. “Kit . . . she really liked you. I know she did, she may have had a different agenda to start with, but that changed. You changed her.” He just shakes his head with disbelief. “Ethan listen to me, if she didn’t really like you . . . if you hadn’t made her see that there was more she never would have tried to help me. She never would’ve changed her mind. Please don’t believe she didn’t have true feelings for you because for the first time in her life I believe she did and I am grateful you made her happy and she was happy. For a little while she was my sister and I never thought that was possible.”