by Palmer, Dee
He wipes his eyes on the back of his hand. “But if it wasn’t for me she wouldn’t have got to you.” His voice breaks and Tom steps up and rests his hand on his shoulder again.
“Don’t flatter yourself” I try to laugh lightly and manage a little noise before the pain. “Kit was very resourceful; she really didn’t need you for that. I’m sorry if you think you could’ve prevented what happened but believe me you couldn’t. Ask Daniel, Kit on her own is . . . was a force to be reckoned with but with Angel . . .” I sigh and let the enormity of my timely escape wash over me. “I know I’m lucky to be here.” Tom steps beside Ethan and takes my other hand. I hold Ethan’s sorrowful gaze. “I’m sorry you got caught up in this because I can see how upset you are and that kills me, but I’m not sorry you fell for Kit. If you hadn’t been you and you hadn’t shown her how you felt about her, made her feel the same, I know I wouldn’t be here, my baby wouldn’t be here. So don’t beat yourself up for saving me and don’t beat yourself up for having feelings for Kit. She may not have deserved you to start with but she risked her life for me and she definitely deserved you in the end. She deserved a better end.” He closes his eyes and I hope he is taking in my words of comfort because they are all true. I can see by Tom’s expression that he is just as upset but his shoulders relax a little as I finished speaking. He squeezes Ethan’s shoulder and his warm eyes wrinkle with gratitude as he looks at me. He places his hands over both of ours.
“Bethany . . . I have no words. I know you must have been through hell and this is selfish of me but I have only just got you in my life . . . if . . . if anything had happened I know I would’ve lost both of you. Ethan lost it when he got the call from Marco. I could feel him slipping—”
“Dad. .not now.” Ethan tries to shrug it off.
“It’s true Ethan . . . It’s not like I haven’t seen it happen before . . . Bethany you are part of us, a part of our family, so precious. And you two are my life and for a moment . . . a moment I don’t ever want to live through again . . . I thought I had lost you. Just don’t ever do that again . . . Ok?” His kind smile is filled with love and relief.
“Ok” I agree and give Ethan and extra squeeze which he acknowledges with a tentative smile.
We stay like that for a little while, it’s not awkward and I think we all feel the need to draw comfort from each other. Tom is the first to break the quiet when he notices my eyelids droop. He bends down to kiss my cheek.
“Bethany. .” He bites his lip and forces a tight smile. “I’m so happy you are. . . .” He clears his throat and I smile, this heavily emotional situation seems to have us all a little tongue tied.
“I know . . . me too.” I offer to help him out and he returns my smile and kisses me once more before stepping back to allow Ethan to do the same. Ethan holds my hand but has trouble holding my gaze. This is really hard but I think it’s just going to take time and what he needs to understand is that because of him and Daniel, that is exactly what I have now, time.
A FEW DAYS pass and I feel much stronger. I can eat by myself and Marco has brought in some of my favourite pasta dishes from the restaurant, delicate and tasty and a welcome change from the bland dishes of the past five weeks. Daniel has been officially discharged but is constantly at my side, something I didn’t want as I gave my statement to the police. I could see his knuckles whiten with anger and half way through it was evident he wasn’t coping quite as well as I was with the retelling. It was hard but it was over and that’s what I focused on but when the police finally finished and Daniel was quiet for so long I started to worry.
“Have I done something wrong?” The silence is broken and he looks startled at the interruption and shocked at my question.
“Why the fuck would you think that?” His tone is stern and he walks to my side gently picking up my hand which is now free of wires.
“You know we are both going to have to watch our language.” I meant it as a joke but I draw in a stuttered breath when I think of how I was reprimanded by Angel for swearing.
“Hey . . . forget that Ok, this isn’t about her.” His eyes hold mine and I know he knows what I’m thinking. He has just heard the crazy fucked up story in tortuous detail. “I’m sorry, I just didn’t know that every time I questioned her, she came and beat the shit out of you. That she did it because she was mad at me. I fucking hate myself for what she did to you.”
I laugh because I think we have been through enough to ever need to start self-flagellation, we are neither of us blameless in this. “Oh believe me I hated you too but lucky for me . . . no mirrors.” I wink and he throws his head back and laughs pulling me into a tight hug that doesn’t make me scream. “All that changes today though. I am taking my first bath and I am walking myself there.” I say with a good deal of pride, he cocks his brow like he is impressed. “Just as soon as Sofia comes with my stuff.”
“I can help you, you don’t need Sofia.” He almost growls like I have insulted his manhood.
“Daniel, I’m filthy.” I moan and then snicker at his obvious salacious grin.
“Oh baby, don’t tempt me.” He leans in and plants tender kisses along my collar bone and up to just below my ear. “But I’m helping you, end of.” He sucks on the soft flesh and I feel the familiar draw of heat in my core, it feels normal, it feels welcome, it feels delicious and I moan my appreciation. Sofia barges in cooling the instant heat that has return with vengeance between us and drops her Louis Vuitton Tote bag on the end of my bed. There is a fight over who is helping and I have to credit Sofia and her fiery self for standing up to Daniel in all his intimidating glory but I negotiate a compromise. Sofia is helping me in the bathroom and after some girlie time Daniel will help me with the bath.
My walk to the bathroom feels like my own personal marathon and I have Daniel on one side, a nurse on the other and Sofia hovering front and back. I am glad Sofia is here, really its best friend above and beyond but there is no shame in wanting to retain a little mystery in my relationship with Daniel. Even if I am not doing anything remotely mysterious in the bathroom. I stand and Sofia unties my gown. I have a clear plastic film covering my wound which is badly bruised and dark with dried blood and healing tissue. The scar looks nasty, my tummy is swollen and looks misshaped against my obvious weight loss elsewhere but I can’t help but cry out when I see myself in the full length mirror behind the door. It is only for a second before it flies open and Daniel is standing in its place. I feel my legs buckle and Daniel’s arms are around me, supporting my weight before I fall and I am crying, crying like a big girl.
“Hey hey what’s the matter? Are you hurt? Did you hurt yourself?” His words are trying to sooth but they are edged with panic and he looks to Sofia for help. I continue to sob and shake my head, my ugly head. The image was only fleeting, my face looks drawn, dark eyes and yellowing bruises on my cheeks and chin. The shock was enough without the result of my losing battle with Angel’s knife. My hair, clumps of short cropped hair sticking up like its allergic to my scalp, tufty long straggles she missed and uneven bob length pieces showcase my ordeal to perfection. I am hideous and no one said a damn word.
I manage to sob into his chest as he has me pressed tight, one arm around my waist one hand cupping the back of my head. “I look . . . I loo. .” I sob the words, more sound than speech. “My hair, my face, my . . . my body.” My sobs muffle into his shirt.
“I know baby, and I want to believe me but the doctor said we should wait.” His gravelly words are whispered in my ear.
My head snaps up to see his mean joke reflected in his face but there is no humour. He is deadly serious. “What?” I gasp.
“What? You are naked, what do you think I mean?” He looks intently in my eyes, his expression both confused and curious.
“Daniel, look at me, I’m hideous!” I shout, he is obviously blind maybe he is deaf too.
He scoops his arm under my knee and lifts me easily. He lowers me into the bath of no bubbles Sofia had run an
d kneels beside me. “Bethany, you are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen and it’s only because you look a little fragile that I’m not fucking you right now.” He turns to wink at Sofia, “no offence Sofia but I really wouldn’t care if you watched or not but I’m trying to be a gentleman about it. Which is pretty fucking hard, because you are in fact naked and you don’t have a hideous bone in that delectable body.” He scoops up some water and starts to wash my not at all delectable but entirely battered body, he places one strong arm around my neck and I let my head flop back. The tears stop when I realise they were pretty stupid tears under the circumstance, my image in one hit was just a little shocking especially compared to Daniel with barely a hair out of place. I am alive, Daniel is alive, our baby is alive, the bruises will fade, scars will heal and my hair will grow back.
The next day a hair dresser arrives and works her magic transforming my hair of many lengths. Leaving it the shortest I have had it since I was maybe eleven years old and still a Tomboy. But to be fair she didn’t have a great deal of choice and the dark chestnut pixie cut is soft around my face and Sofia assures me it is cute as a button. Daniel isn’t around this morning and Sofia has brought the prettiest silk slip of a nightie with matching gown and when I look in the mirror this time I smile. I certainly look well enough to be discharged and I am kind of excited that Daniel is going to take me for a spin around the hospital gardens later, fresh air and sunlight. Sofia insists on a little tinted moisturiser to cover the last of the bruises and hands me a cashmere wrap in case it is chilly outside. She looks distracted but she is very dressed up so she probably needs to stop playing nurse and go wherever she is supposed to be. She gives me a quick kiss on my cheek and dashes away, strategically deflecting my questions. I may only have half a spleen but the bullet didn’t affect my brain and I just know she is up to something.
I can see Tom walk toward me pushing an empty wheelchair and carrying a tight bouquet of white avalanche roses. He parks the chair and comes to sit beside me. He takes my hand and holds it firmly but I can feel him shaking. “Bethany, Daniel asked me to come get you but I need to say a few things first before I hand you over.” He clears his throat with a deep cough and straightens his back.
“Hand me over?” He holds my gaze and I get a sudden surge in my tummy and those butterflies high and low start somersaults inside.
“Yes, hand you over.” He smiles a knowing smile filled with love and concern. “I know I haven’t been a part of your life for very long and there are people much better qualified than I to do this, but I do love you. We all love you so much and want what’s best, want you to be happy. I have been here the whole time but felt like a fraud because these people, Sofia, Marco, Tony and Viv, all of them, they are your real family and it gives me immeasurable comfort knowing you have such amazing people around you. I want you to know that you have me and Ethan too now. But all of that is nothing compared to what that young man feels for you, he never left your side for a moment. I know he loves you like you deserve to be loved, and I’m relieved he does because I couldn’t give you away otherwise. I know it’s traditional and I am honoured I get to do this but I do also feel since I haven’t held the title long I have asked someone who is more than qualified to accompany us, if that’s Ok with you?”
I think my jaw must be on the floor because he is definitely talking like I am all clued in to what is about to happen. Marco steps into the room in his navy Armani suit with a white rose button hole and silver grey tie to match the ribbon wrapped around my flowers. I feel the first burst of tears on my cheek. Oh shit I am not nearly stable enough for this intensely emotional event.
“Hey Bets you know I love a two-fa, so let’s do this.” He holds the jackets collar of his suit, the same one he wore to Sofia’s wedding, which seems like a lifetime ago. He ruffles my cropped hair and plants a kiss on my cheek wiping the tear as he does. “It’s inevitable” He says in his best Matrix Agent Smith accent. He helps me stand and then sit back down in the chair that I wish I didn’t need and he starts to push as Tom walks beside me. Its then I notice the collection of nurses with gushing grins and clasped hands, great, so everyone knew but me.
The short lift ride and walk along a blank corridor has us stopped outside a set of double oak doors. Marco walks in front of me and squats down on his haunches. “You ready for this Boo?”
I bark out a light laugh that might sound a little hysterical, “Not even remotely,” he laughs but stands as the doors open. My heart is in my dry throat at the vision of Daniel stepping through the door. God he looks breath taking, dark suit, darker eyes and emanating intensity that makes my whole body shudder.
“Would you give us a moment please?” His eyes are fixed on me as he addresses Marco and Tom, the soft footsteps indicate their departure. “Hey.” His lips curl into a grin that wouldn’t look out of place on the devil himself, it causes me to laugh my ‘hey’ back at him.
“This is all arse backwards you know that right?” I continue with my nervous laugh. He has crouched in front of me like Marco, so is eye level with me.
“Oh! How so?” He bites his lip and I love that his intensity isn’t stopping his playfulness.
“Well we are supposed to get engaged, hen-do, wedding, honeymoon, then baby.” I tilt my head happy with the normal list of traditional sequence of events involving getting hitched.
“Well, the baby is a done deal baby and an engagement didn’t work out so well for us in the past, besides it is just a period of time, this . . .” he takes my hands all playfulness gone, “this, is forever.”
“I like the sound of that.” I breathe out as he covers my lips with his but I continue to speak, “I still get a hen do though, you promised.” I can feel his smile against my mouth.
“And I am a man of my word.” He kisses me again but doesn’t stand and I can almost hear his heartbeat as loud as I feel mine.
“We can do this again, have the big day thing with all that shit but there is just no way I am going one more day without you as my wife.” His voice is gruff and urgent.
“I take it everyone I love is right behind those doors?” I tip my chin and he nods not needing to look where I’m pointing, in fact he doesn’t seem to want to take his eyes off me, which is perfect. His gaze pierces me, fixes me and holds me.
“I need to make sure; I wanted to make sure this was your choice. I know I’m not great at letting you do that and even today it might look that way but I want this to be your choice as much as I know it is mine.” I can see he is holding his breath and it surprises me that he could have the slightest doubt and he sighs with pure relief when I whisper.
“It’s the only choice.”
The End.
“FUCKING LAS VEGAS!” Sofia squeals and with her arms tight around my waist jumps up and down like a giddy child and with enough force to lift me clear off the floor. In fact, she is worse than a child because she should know better. I try in vain to shush her excitement as I look over her shoulder at a heavy browed scowling Daniel and a none too happy Paul. My attempt at a placatory smile falls on sterner features than I have the capacity to melt but after five years of dealing with my stubborn streak Daniel knows better than to argue this little trip, besides he promised and he is many things and one of which I love the most, is that he is a man of his word. That doesn’t mean he isn’t going to make me pay; my tongue quickly darts to lick my suddenly dry lips and my whole body responds with an involuntary full-on shudder, he notices, of course he notices. He feels me every bit as much as I feel him but the way my body responds is as potent and reactive as the day we met, only now I get to call him mine and he gets to call me Mrs Stone or Mummy when the kids are near.
He walks slowly down the front steps of our family home, out of the city, surrounded by acres of farmland, woods, lakes and wildlife but not so far as to feel isolated. He continues to focus his intense stare at me but flashes a scowl at Sofia, my partner in crime. I don’t think Sofia has ever been intimidated by
him and she completely disarms the faux tension with a fit of laughter. I can’t help but snicker too, especially when he scoops me up and cups the cheeks of my arse, gripping and squeezing, pulling me hard against him as I automatically wrap my legs around his waist. “While you are away I want you to think of all the ways you will be punished when you return.” He growls in my ear and I flush bright red that he hasn’t had the decency to speak in a hushed tone. His soft lips languidly move from embarrassing me to biting and sucking on the soft flesh on my neck. God, I love it when he does that, its like a mainline of molten heat to my core, utterly delicious and utterly distracting and I know that’s his plan.
“Punished? Why am I being punished?” I tilt my head just out of reach of his soft seductive mouth.
“Mmm, well you are abandoning us. I think that warrants at least a whole week of punishment don’t you?” He hitches me up so I am just high enough to feel the heat and tip of his erection and I can’t help wriggle a little lower and swallow back a throaty moan. His breath is warm against my neck as he whispers. “Oh baby, we could just start your punishment right now if you want.” I stop wriggling and pull back, I learnt early on, not to under estimate Daniel’s capacity to administer punishment, whenever, where ever and I have my best friend and her husband all gathered on our drive ready for our departure. I know we are going to Vegas but I have no intention of getting the ‘show’ started here. I try to wriggle free again and he throws his head back and laughs but holds me just as tight.