Bargaining for Baby

by Robyn Grady

  But if she did come back, and she and Jack had another fling, how would she define their relationship? They wouldn’t be a couple. She wouldn’t be a friend. Maybe a “friend with benefits.”

  The less contemporary term was mistress.

  They reached the top of the steps at the same time that Cait brought Beau out.

  The bright-eyed housekeeper held the baby, his back to her front, so that Beau could see all the action. His little legs in their Mickey Mouse cotton PJs pumped with excitement when he saw them. They might’ve been gone a week.

  Cait laughed. “He must’ve heard the plane. He just woke this minute.”

  Maddy’s arms, but more so her heart, reached out. She’d missed him—his chubby cheeks, his soft curly top. Now she realized how much.

  “Did he sleep through?” she asked, taking him from Cait, reveling in his beautiful baby smell while he gazed up into her face and she smiled lovingly down.

  “Not a whimper, the little pet.” Cait stepped aside to let Jack by with the bags. “How was the gala?”

  Before Jack could answer, Maddy piped up, “It was wonderful.”

  Too late, she zipped her lip.

  The sparkle in Cait’s eyes confirmed what Maddy had feared. Her abundance of enthusiasm at having spent the night alone with Jack had come across loud and clear.

  But she wasn’t in love. People didn’t fall in love after a week.

  Did they?

  Maddy wasn’t sure if it was her imagination but when the hands of her watch reached four and she hadn’t seen Jack since scones and morning tea, she was certain. He was either letting her have quality one-on-one time with Beau or he was avoiding her.

  In the kitchen, absently sealing the top on Beau’s bottle, she wondered. She didn’t want to consider the possibility but…did he regret last night?

  She rotated toward baby Beau and kissed his tiny fist as he sat patiently in his reclined baby chair.

  Jack’s feelings couldn’t have changed. What she’d felt and what he’d given hadn’t been a lie. There was a good explanation for his absence today. Maybe Snow had got in trouble in some distant paddock. Perhaps Jack had fallen off his horse. He could’ve broken a leg.

  She set the bottle on the table, failing to swallow the prevailing sense of doom rising in her throat. Today was her last here. After the intimacies they’d enjoyed, the words they’d said, Jack must want to share these remaining hours with her.

  As much as she wanted to share them with him.

  Maddy lifted Beau. Once nestled against her, with a happy mew he latched onto the bottle and his perfect dimpled hand curled over it. Maddy cradled the baby, drinking in his innocence and, at the same time, holding her breath to stop the spiral of doubt from winding any higher.

  She’d been in Beau’s life from the moment he was born. She’d been there with Dahlia when he’d come into the world. She’d rocked him and burped him and played “little piggie” long before coming here. She loved this little boy. She would give her life for him in an instant. And when someone loved a child, that love didn’t disappear. This kind of love was forever; her heart of hearts told her that. She may not be Beau’s mother but that didn’t change the way she felt. He was the most precious person in the world to her.

  And Jack?

  Closing her eyes, Maddy sighed remembering his smile, his woodsy scent, the thrilling rush that flooded her body whenever she saw him. Whenever he held her. Had she fallen in love with this ruggedly handsome man when a week ago she wanted to throttle him? She hadn’t understood a thing about him then. She hadn’t wanted to.

  But here she’d come to know a different side of Jack Prescott—a side that was dedicated to his nephew, had cared deeply for his sister, had been a loving husband and was a heartbroken widower.

  In Clancy she’d learned more. They’d spent amazing hours, laughing, talking, making the most blissful kind of love. His kisses sizzled with soul-soaring passion and yet each caress was defined by the purest strain of tenderness. The sensation of his hard, long body locking with hers…the reality of just how effortlessly he brought out every hidden, wanting part of her…

  She’d been lifted to the clouds.

  Would any woman feel differently, or did she and Jack share something truly special?

  She opened her eyes and searched out the kitchen window.

  Why wasn’t he back?

  Beau was still down for an afternoon nap when Jack rode in near sundown. Through a sitting room window, Maddy tracked his rolling stride as he led Herc to the stables. The horse’s nostrils flared from exertion, and his coat was glossy with sweat. Jack would be out there with him for some time yet.

  A startling urge leapt up inside of her and she gripped the window sill.

  How would Jack react if she appeared at the stable door and asked what had kept him? After these hours of waiting and worrying, she needed to see for herself if the affection that had shone in his eyes last night had dimmed. Could he block out, as easily as this, the way she’d murmured his name?

  Fifteen minutes later, she was chewing a thumbnail, pacing the hall, waiting for Beau to wake. She was stir-crazy. An unraveling ball of frazzled nerves. Over a man she’d known a few days and who hadn’t chosen to spend these last hours with her.

  Clearly she needed to get back to her friends and throw herself back into work. Remember who she was and where she belonged, which wasn’t here in this barren wilderness.

  She stopped at the front door, hands bunched at her sides. She flicked a glance at the still-quiet nursery, heard Cait’s saucepans’ distant rattle in the kitchen. The sinking sun washed pails of luminous orange, red and mauve across the hushed horizon. The night was fast approaching. Soon the morning would be here.

  Maddy’s hands bunched tighter.

  Would he ever come in?

  Her frayed patience snapped. She marched down the stairs and cut a bee-line to the stables.

  Jack sat at a small table, dusty boots balanced on one end, ankles crossed. He was rubbing down some leather strap or other, but now the action stopped. His head turned and his wary gaze met hers.

  Quivering inside, she stepped forward. In his stall, Herc shook his mane. Her stomach jumping, she pulled up abruptly then scolded herself.

  Don’t let him know your knees feel like water. Don’t let him see you’re upset.

  Manufacturing a smile, she tipped her head in the homestead’s direction. “Dinner’s almost done.”

  His boots swung off the table and the front legs of the chair smacked the wood. “Great. I’m starved.”

  With that smooth rolling stride, he moved into the tack room and emerged several minutes later. When he didn’t acknowledge her but rather crossed to flick his hat off a peg, she cleared her throat quietly, just enough to be sure her voice wouldn’t crack.

  “There’s rhubarb pie for dessert,” she said. “Smells delicious.”

  He dusted off the brown felt then gifted her a tight smile. “Can’t wait.”

  “In a couple of month’s Beau’ll be tasting solids. I wonder if he’ll have a sweet tooth.”

  “You must leave me your address.” He fitted his hat. “I’ll let you know how it goes.”

  When he continued to stand several paces away, the chiseled planes of his face so impassive, her heart contracted and then slid to her feet.

  She couldn’t stand the tension a moment longer. They needed to talk, sort this out, whether he liked it or not.

  “Jack, I’m confused. Have I done something wrong?”

  His brows flew together. “Of course not.”

  “Then where have you been all day?”

  He removed his hat, glared at its well while he shoveled a hand through his thick black hair. “I had things to do.”

  “What things?”

  “You wouldn’t understand.”

  “What wouldn’t I understand?”

  His hat dropped to his side as he heaved out a breath. “Do you really want to know? You’re goi
ng back tomorrow.” He threw a glance around the stable walls. “This’ll all be a dusty memory in a month.”

  Maddy’s breath double hitched in her chest.

  What was going on? Why was he suddenly so cold? So hurtful? Because she was leaving? He’d always known that.

  She moistened her dry lips and reminded him, “You invited me to come back.”

  “You can come back any time you like,” he said blandly.

  The room tilted. Had she dreamt last night? This Jack was like a different man.

  “Can I get this straight? You’re saying you’re not bothered either way? Whether I come back or not?”

  “It’s up to you. You have your life. You know what you’re doing with it.” He glanced at his watch. “And we’d better have tea so you can pack and get back to it.”

  He headed for the stable door but his pace slowed when she didn’t follow.

  Her feet were lead blocks. Her insides were roped with heavy knots. She could barely stop the corners of her mouth from bowing. Where was the man she’d shared so much with last night?

  Was she supposed to nod politely now and eat dinner at the table as if nothing had happened? As if he hadn’t nuzzled and stroked every inch of her? As if he hadn’t opened up each hidden part of her soul and invited himself into her heart?

  Dammit, if he thought he could walk away from this that easily, he was wrong.

  “I need you to answer me. Do you want me to come back?”

  His eyes didn’t meet hers as he growled over one broad shoulder, “Of course I’d like you to come back.”

  “Jack…look at me.”

  His broad back in the sexy chambray shirt expanded as he inhaled. He slowly turned. Rubbed his jaw. Met her eyes.

  A muscle popped in his darkly shadowed square-cut jaw. “I’m not sure what you want.”

  She didn’t give herself time to think. She walked straight over to cup his face. Then, bouncing up on her toes, she kissed him.

  For an instant she felt that same fire, the spark-togas-leak explosion that had ripped through and released her again and again last night. She imagined she heard a rumble of satisfaction deep in his chest, felt the vibration rise in his throat and tingle with crystal clear meaning across her lips.

  But as suddenly as it appeared, the scalding tension slid away and the kiss…his mouth on hers…lost its life.

  The fire was gone. Snuffed out. Or had he simply locked it away behind a steel door? After the heartfelt promise he’d made—that whatever she was worried about, she didn’t need to be—could he hurt her that way now?

  Gutted, she let go of his jaw, found her feet and stepped back. But before she looked into his eyes, she willed all emotion from her face. She thought of scorpions and snakes. Of barren dusty miles she would soon say goodbye and good riddance to forever. The alternative was to break down and cry and…

  She eased out a breath.

  She’d rather be strong.

  He’d said he didn’t know what she wanted.

  Shaking back her hair, she pasted on an unaffected smile and formed the necessary lie in her head.

  “Oh, Jack,” she began, “be fair. All I want is for you to know how much last night meant. Every girl dreams of having a real cowboy.” She raised a playful grin. “And you’re as real as they get.” When tears stung like acid behind her eyes, she smiled harder and rubbed her nose. “I’m going to have to get out of here before I have a sneezing fit.”

  She brushed past before the tears caught up and beat her down. Damned if she’d let him see her cry. “Maddy, wait.”

  Spinning around, she theatrically pinched her nose. “I sincerely hope you’re not going to ask me to help clean out that stall or brush down Herc.”

  They shared a gaze for a torturous moment and just when the emotion seemed about to break free—just when she thought she would crumple and tell him the truth—his shoulders came down.

  “No, I wouldn’t ask you to do that.” He sauntered toward the stall. “Tell Cait to set my place. I’ll be along soon.”

  Returning to the house, Maddy kept her pace steady. Don’t think about what just happened. Don’t give in to the tears. But she couldn’t keep her mind blank or the sense of devastation from creeping higher, tighter. She simply couldn’t believe it. It was as if all her life she’d known every shade of blue and today she’d discovered she was color-blind. How had she gotten it so wrong? She’d been slow to come around, but last night…last night she’d trusted him. Truly believed there was so much more to Jack Prescott than arrogance and irresistible blistering charm.

  But it seemed he’d meant what he said literally.

  One night. Just one night.

  That his conscience bit a little—that he couldn’t quite meet her eyes—didn’t mean his dismissive treatment of her hurt any less. With her blinders off, she shouldn’t be surprised.

  He’d kissed her in the moonlight when he’d been involved with Tara. No doubt there’d been women before his attractive neighbor. Who would come after her? She still believed he’d loved his wife but, clearly, now he was a rich, handsome bachelor, doing what rich, handsome bachelors did best.

  Entertaining himself. Filling in time.

  Inside the house, Maddy dragged herself to the nursery. When she pushed the partly-opened door the rest of the way, her blood froze in her veins. She’d walked into her worst nightmare.

  Beau was awake, cooing in his crib. Nell was up on her hind legs, her black-and-white back hunched and front paws on the lower rail. Her long nose was thrust through the rungs.

  Beau squealed and, horror-daze broken, Maddy rushed forward, all those faded memories from half a lifetime ago suddenly pulsing and hideously real. Discovered, Nell dropped and, tail between her legs, trotted off to the far corner before Maddy could rip her away.

  “Get out of here,” she growled through bared teeth.

  Her heart was smashing through her ribs, her fingers tingled, her hands, her arms…they were losing their strength. As she glared at the dog, ready to physically throw her out of the room, Maddy tried to catch her breath. She clung to the crib before her legs could give way. And still the collie stalked her with those deadly dark eyes.

  Maddy hissed, “What are you staring at?”

  Like a prowling wolf, Nell inched forward and, remembering those scars, Maddy exploded. “Get out! Get out!”

  The baby wailed. Cait rushed in, Jack a heartbeat behind. The housekeeper threw a frantic look around while Jack strode to the center of the room, his fists clenched and gaze killer fierce.

  “What the hell’s going on?”

  Maddy flapped her hand at Nell. “That-that dog shouldn’t be in here alone with the baby. Her teeth were an inch from his arm. Dogs are unpredictable, Jack.” Sometimes they were savage.

  While Maddy scooped Beau from the crib and held him close, Cait’s flushed face calmed and she came slowly forward.

  “But Nell wouldn’t hurt the bairn, Maddy.”

  Maddy’s heart was bursting through her chest. “No one knows that.”

  The dog that had attacked her had been a family pet. She’d told Jack last night. He’d seen the scars. He’d said he’d understood—understood everything.

  Or would he pretend as if none of that had happened, the same way he’d wanted to ignore her in the stables just moments ago?

  But when he moved forward—when he put his hand over hers where she held the baby’s head close—a static flicker of what they’d known together only hours before zoomed back.

  His deep voice was low and gentle. “Maddy…honey…you’re overreacting.”

  Maddy wanted to laugh. She was overreacting? He was the one who wanted to lock everyone away behind these beastly remote station walls.

  When he brought her close and urged her hot cheek to rest against his chest, she blinked several times. Concentrating on her breathing, on slowing her heartbeat, the dots before her eyes dispersed and, after a short time, most sped away. Nell lay in the corner, tai
l to the wall, ears down and head flat on her paws. Maddy swayed, leaned more against Jack and the tingling in her limbs began to fade.

  She was stressed. Too much emotion. Too many memories stirred. Didn’t change the fact that she would never allow Nell to come so close to Beau again, particularly when the baby was alone. Nothing would change her mind about that, and if anyone thought that was paranoid—tough luck.

  But as Jack eased the baby from her arms and Cait called Nell out of the nursery, Maddy filled her lungs with a shuddering breath and the harrowing truth descended.

  What could she do about it? If Beau was her child…

  But he wasn’t. She had as little say in Beau’s life now as she had a week ago. Less. And the longer she stayed and had to swallow that reality, the more frustrated and upset she’d become.

  Jack had been blunt but also spot-on. The decision was up to her but maybe it would be better better for everyone if she left and never came back.

  Ten

  In his lifetime, Jack had been to hell and back. Determined to find and sustain the strength he’d needed, most of the day he’d ridden the endless Leadeebrook plains on Herc’s back. He’d returned to the homestead calm, cold and resolute.

  But moments ago, when he’d taken Beau from Maddy and left her to wash her face and settle down before dinner, he’d been shell-shocked. The weight of the realization was like a stake being thrust into the heart. He was responsible, no one else, for her meltdown.

  If she thought she’d fooled him in the stables into thinking their night together had meant little more than an adventurous fling on the side, she was mistaken. If she thought he didn’t understand about Nell tonight in the nursery, after seeing those scars, of course he did. But, as harsh as he might’ve sounded, he meant what he’d said.

  Soon her time here would be reduced to a quaint story retold over Friday night cocktails. He would be the one left to make decisions for Beau and, damn right, he trusted Nell. More than he’d trust the drug addicts and pimps who trawled Sydney’s King’s Cross in broad daylight.