by Adams Media
Get Lost in a Book
Find a beloved book that makes you laugh or cry or sigh every time you read it, curl up in a quiet, sunny place with it, and get lost in the story. Let yourself be lifted out of your own life and into the world of the book. Share the characters’ triumphs and feel their torments. Escape your own problems for a little while. True, you can’t run away from issues in real life, but sometimes the respite of a good story can lighten your mood and give you a much-needed break to clear your mind. This works with your favorite movie too!
Do Something Unexpected
Our brains take pleasure in new and novel ideas. To encourage you to seek out the new and unexpected, your brain will release feel-good hormones when you try something new. Routines bring stagnation—it’s time to break out of your rut and find some joy! Try something you normally wouldn’t and then feel the rush of happiness. Maybe you’ve always wanted to skydive or kayak or drive off to that inn by the beach . . . whatever it is, try it!
Get Up for the Sunrise
The most magical times of the day often go by unnoticed. There is something so beautiful and peaceful about the sunrise! Try waking up early one morning to go out and witness it. Hear the quiet chirp of the early birds, feel the breeze on your face, watch as the sunlight first appears over the horizon and begins the day with its light. A sunrise is akin to a religious experience—don’t miss it. Watch a sunrise just once, and you’ll notice how positive you feel for the whole rest of the day.
Avoid Drama Queens
Some people love to cause trouble—they love to interfere in situations that are not really their concern and stir the pot of emotions. Whether they do so out of a desire to create chaos and push other people’s buttons or to boost their own egos by making themselves feel superior, if you want to hold on to your happiness, you should avoid these types of people at all costs. Toxic people have a need to suck others into their negative spiral. Avoid the drama and distance yourself from them! If you can’t turn a person’s focus away from negativity, then simply excuse yourself and leave the conversation. Your happiness is worth the little bit of awkward interaction you might need to initiate to remove yourself from the situation.
Spend a Day Alone
“Me time” is a concept that is slowly slipping away in our hectic world, but it’s critical for your mental health. For just one day, try to spend that day with only yourself—no family, no friends, no coworkers. While these people may have your best interest in mind, they are often a distraction from getting to know your real self. Spend a day relaxing, doing the things you love, eating foods that make you happy, and focusing on you and your purpose. Avoid checking your phone at all. Really unplug yourself from the world. It won’t be as awful as you may think! In fact, the peace that comes from occasional solitude will make you feel refreshed and calm.
Do Something You Loved As a Kid
Nostalgia and reminiscing stimulate those feel-good emotions because they make your brain remember how happy you were when you first did the things you’re remembering. Think back to something you really loved doing as a kid. Roller skating? Playing at the beach? Eating ice cream at the ice cream parlor? Visiting a relative’s house? Whatever it is, find a way to do it again. Sure, the experience will be slightly different now that you are a bit older and time has passed, but the joy you’ll get by reliving your favorite memories will be the same. When kids do fun things, they aren’t embarrassed or shy or intimidated—they simply experience the richness of life. Go be a kid again! You’ll reignite the joy that came from having those experiences.
Tackle Change
We all have a resistance to change when things come up that may alter our comfortable way of living. One way to battle this resistance is to make small changes—even tiny changes help. Say there’s something you have been resisting doing. Try doing it for just five minutes. Anyone can do something for five minutes, right? Research new careers for just five minutes. Walk or paint or play an instrument for just five minutes. The goal of these short bursts of time is to find something related to doing that activity that brings you joy. Doing something you hate is possible for a while, but you’ll never stick with it—you need to find some joy in an activity in order to keep on doing it. That’s why you need to find something—anything—that makes you happy about that activity. Once you have, then you’ll be able to change.
React with Sincere Enthusiasm
This hack harkens back to the fact that when you bring happiness to others, you will feel happy yourself. Just remember: it’s important to be sincere and give active and constructive responses. We live in a world where people show their responses in emojis and symbols, which in reality are empty and meaningless. If someone shares good news with you, send a sincere response that shows genuine interest in and happiness for the other person. By doing so, you will create stronger social bonds and give people a more positive view of you.
Put Yourself First
When it comes to your life, the only person you really have control over is yourself. Other people in your life influence you and bring you happiness and joy and security, but you have no control over their choices or destinies. Of course, you love these people, and you’ll accomplish many things and make many sacrifices to help them when they are in need. But when you are in crisis, you must put yourself before anyone else. Focus on what you need to get through your situation. You may not be able to help others right now, and that’s okay—you will be there for them another time. If you spend your time focusing on others and making sure they are okay, you will be mistreating the most important person in your life: yourself.
Call Your Mom
Oftentimes life takes over our focus, and we forget the people who helped shape us into the independent and self-assured adults we are today. No matter how old you are or where you live, your mom will always worry about how you’re doing. Call her! Actually call her—don’t message her or send her a text. Call her and let her hear your voice. Your mom will feel loved and cherished, and you’ll feel great too.
Nap
Seniors and two-year-olds have the right idea: on some days, a nap is one of the greatest pleasures you can find. Being able to break away from the hectic pace of life in the middle of the day and lying down to rest will leave you feeling rejuvenated and ready to tackle the rest of your day. Besides, many of us are not getting enough sleep during the standard nighttime hours—we all could use a bit more rest! Even a quick power nap will do wonders for your mood and your day.
Don’t Compare
If you’re going to base your feeling of self-worth on feeling superior to others, you’ll be frustrated for most of your life. It’s tempting to compare your accomplishments to those of others—we all do it from time to time as a way to motivate ourselves—but this kind of comparison is dangerous. Someone will always have more money or possessions than you do or be better at doing something than you are. Comparing creates a cycle of futility. The less you compare your life and accomplishments to those of others, the happier you’ll be.
Trust Strangers
Believing that people are out to cheat you causes unneeded stress and anxiety. If you are constantly worried that a cashier will shortchange you or that a coworker will try to steal the spotlight or that an acquaintance is talking about you behind your back, you won’t be happy. The more you perceive that you can trust others, the happier you’ll be. Of course, you shouldn’t blindly trust people you don’t know, but go in with a positive attitude and give others the benefit of the doubt.
It’s Not You (No, Really)
We all face rejection at some point in life. Whether it happens in our professional or personal lives, it is easy to see the rejection as a personal affront. But sometimes rejections aren’t personal, and sometimes they don’t really have much to do with you as an individual; sometimes the timing just isn’t right. Sure, it can be frustrating to see your boss reject the idea you spent months growing and grooming, but it happens. And when it does, try to see
the rejection as a learning opportunity rather than as a rejection of you as a person. You will find more success and happiness if you can keep your ego out of the process and view the situation for what it is.
Pay Attention
We are always striving for more and adding more things into our lives, and that can lead to us ignoring the good things we have right now. When something good comes your way, you should pay attention to it. You should experience it and savor it. Too often, we ignore the good in our lives in our relentless pursuit of the better. We tell ourselves we won’t be happy until X or Y happens, and in the meantime, we miss the good we have already achieved. Pay attention to the good you have already have and feel the happiness it brings.
Take Care of Your Body
Physical problems can affect your emotional state. If you are experiencing a small pain, ache, or discomfort in your body, address it now: get a massage, see a physical therapist, go to a doctor. Small physical pains can grow over time and start to affect your life in negative ways. Remove these pains from your life to create a happier emotional state.
Stop Being Distracted
Distractions are nice every now and again—they take our minds off our troubles and allow us to rest and recuperate without having to think too much. However, distractions start to be a problem when they are distracting you so much that you are losing hours of your day to diversions instead of tending to the things that matter in your life. That video game, those Internet articles, those Facebook posts . . . they’re fun, but they will not bring you real happiness. Distract yourself only in moderation and don’t risk sacrificing the meaningful parts of your life.
Let Go of Negative Body Images
There is no one “correct” body type. Sure, you should strive to be as healthy as you can, but if you feel comfortable in your own skin and you’re happy with your life, don’t let other people’s opinions of body types get in your head. Don’t let other people tell you you’re not beautiful or that you could be more beautiful if you only did this or that. Your opinion of your body is the only one that matters. If you are not happy in your own skin, then take steps to improve yourself, but only if you truly desire to make those changes.
Stop Thinking Good Things Will Just Fall Into Your Lap
You cannot be idle in your own life and just wait and hope that good things will come your way by coincidence—no one who has experienced good fortune has achieved it coincidentally. You must take an active role in the world and your life if you want good things to happen. Be grateful for what you have and appreciate all you have accomplished, but never stop striving to make the most out of your life.
Be Optimistic about the Future
None of us know what the future holds, but if you can remain optimistic about the future and your ability to accomplish your goals, then you will be happier. Surround yourself with people who nurture and support your optimism. Having a naysayer in your life who constantly tries to redirect you away from your goals or make you feel embarrassed about them will only tarnish your outlook. Nurture positive relationships with people who help lift you up.
Seek Out a Life Coach
If you are experiencing obstacles to happiness and you can’t figure out how to overcome those obstacles, a life coach might be able to help you. Life coaches can help you evaluate your life and determine what you’re not happy about. Maybe you are sabotaging your own happiness without even realizing it! Talking with a life coach can help you discover what you can do better (or stop doing) so that you can live a happier life.
Forgive Your Stumbles
We all screw up. The secret to being able to handle life’s stumbles is to forgive yourself. You’ll encounter setbacks, and when you do, you should not give up or become despondent—instead, tackle the setbacks. If you are doing the right thing most of the time, then you are doing pretty well. No one can make it through life without a few stumbles along the way, so forgive yourself for having made those errors and move on.
Think about the Worst
This may seem like a contrary statement considering all the advice in this book about focusing on the good in life, but when you are faced with a frightening or anxiety-riddled situation and you cannot force yourself to find the good in it, sometimes the best plan is to focus on the worst outcome. Figure out the very worst thing that could happen as a result of the situation and think about how badly things could go (in detail). In most cases, you’re going to discover that your anxiety about the situation is exaggerated.
Try After-Dinner Gratitude
Each night after dinner, write down five good things that happened to you during the day. Most people are tired after a long day at work and can tend to drift toward the negative, but by doing this exercise, you can redirect your mood toward the things that are going well and thus increase your positivity. Pause for a few minutes to write down the things that went just the way you’d planned or perhaps some small surprises during the day that put a smile on your face. Writing down these gratitudes may sound trivial, but journaling this way has been proven to reduce stress and redirect people out of negative cycles.
Don’t Censor Yourself
All too often, we hide ourselves behind a mask of who we think we are supposed to be. Stop censoring your life and say what you really think! Don’t worry about what other people may think of you. Of course, don’t hurl hate at other people—rather, just don’t be afraid to say what you feel about yourself and your desires. Don’t concern yourself about whether or not others are going to like your opinions or thoughts. They can have their own opinions on the matter. Feel free to express yourself the way you like, without concern for other people’s desires.
Be Curious
There is so much to experience and learn about in life! You can’t help but be in awe of the world and its wonders. Be curious and explore. Never stop questioning why things are a certain way. Learn something new, read something new, try something new. Never lose your curiosity about life.
Get Rid of Things That Drag You Down
Moderation may work in some cases, but if something is not bringing you joy, why are you keeping it around? Get rid of anything that robs you of happiness. And don’t get rid of it gradually—get rid of it cold turkey. Make a list of things that zap your energy, slow you down, or leave you feeling guilty or remorseful, and then simply cut them out of your life. That may not be easy to do, but your increased joy and feelings of well-being will be worth it.
Do the Hard Stuff First
If you finish your most difficult task first, then the rest of your day will be easier and more productive. As humans, we tend to procrastinate and put off the things we don’t want to do, but if you can get the things you dread out of the way first, you won’t be anxious. That lack of anxiety will greatly improve your day.
Learn to Fight Smarter
When you are engaged in a heated argument and people are screaming at each other, is there really ever a winner? Or are there just two sides who are angry and bitter and deaf to the other side’s opinions? Fight smarter, not harder. Engage the other person in rational and nonaggressive ways so that you can both communicate your opinions clearly. Listen to what your opponent is saying and then try to summarize and restate their thoughts aloud so that they know you have heard them. We all have to deal with conflict, but you don’t have to explode to get your point across.
Decide Not to Be Frustrated
Want to feel happier and less frustrated with the minutiae of daily life? Then decide not to get frustrated by all the little things that don’t go as planned. Raise your frustration tolerance so that you don’t let frustration take over and ruin your day. Don’t get mad when little irritations pop up—instead, try and find the humor in them. Just go with it and roll with the punches. You’ll be happier!
Don’t Judge
No matter what you see on the surface, you can never know what another person is really going through. We often tend to judge and criticize others without even knowing it. Yet wh
en you do that, you are coming from a place of jealousy or fear, and that is not demonstrating your best self. You have no idea about the journey other people have gone through or what they’ve experienced to make them who they are today. You have no right to criticize what you don’t understand. Besides, judging others will limit your happiness as well. You wouldn’t want to feel judged, right? So don’t judge others.
Smile at Yourself
It may sound silly, but smiling causes an emotional response in your body that can actually make you feel happier. Smiling at other people can make them and you feel happier, but smiling at yourself in the mirror can have the added effect of boosting your self-esteem and self-love. Imagine smiling at yourself in the mirror every morning—think about what that would do for your confidence and mood throughout the day!