Packed and Ready to Go

by Jacki Kelly

  Thompson looked dumbfounded. “I think we’re making some progress here. I’d hate to stop now. Can you postpone your meeting?” His cold stare caught me. He wanted my job. I relished the idea of being his boss.

  “We’ll meet back here at four. Be prepared.” I picked up my papers without addressing his question. “If you have something on your calendars this afternoon, I suggest you clear it.” I barreled out of the room. Sasha’s doctor’s appointment was in twenty minutes and the last thing I needed was to hear her whine because I was late.

  I stopped at Beverly’s desk. “I’ll be out of the office until four. Please reserve the same conference room for the team and make sure everyone is back here by then. If I get any calls, tell them I’m tied up and will return their call later this evening.”

  “Okay. Anything else?” She scribbled a note on her pad.

  “Yes, call Ms. Samuels and let her know I’m on my way.”

  Beverly raised her head and glared at me. Her pencil poised in midair.

  “Did you hear me?”

  “Yes, I’ll make that call.” She turned back to the computer and began punching the keys.

  Without saying anything else I made my way out of the store. The Black Book was only two blocks from my office so I pulled up in front of Sasha’s store with ten minutes to spare.

  I turned off the car and rushed inside. Thankfully, Sasha didn’t expect me to attend every doctor’s appointment, but she thought these appointments were special.

  A few customers milled around, browsing.

  “Walter, we’re going to be late.” Sasha’s thin voice and dark eyes meant trouble.

  “Are you okay?” I pulled Sasha closer and slipped my tongue into her mouth. She was slow to respond.

  “Your secretary called. As usual, she was curt.” Her tone launched my warning radar.

  “You know I’ve spoken with Beverly before. She’s very loyal to Tracy.”

  “Can you speak with her again? I don’t want to be treated like a…like—”

  “Honey, what does it matter? It won’t be much longer.” I placed my hand around her waist and pulled her closer. Her stomach was no longer flat, now there was a roundness that hinted at her condition. Her breasts had increased two sizes and I found it all appealing.

  “Maybe before returning to the office we can stop by your house.” I stuck my tongue in her ear.

  “I’ve been having morning sickness, the store was hectic this morning, and you’re ten minutes late. Should I go on, or do you get the picture?” She pulled her purse onto her shoulder. “We’d better leave, now. We don’t have much time.” She yelled instructions over her shoulder to Jeanette, her helper, before walking out the door.

  “Are you okay?” I asked when we were on our way.

  She turned to face me. “I feel like I’m going through this alone. I’m sick all by myself. I’m having cravings all by myself. I felt the baby kick for the first time all by myself. I don’t want to go through this pregnancy all by myself.”

  “Sasha, what do you want me to do? I said from the beginning nothing changes until after the wedding.”

  “I guess I thought you’d come up with something by now. It’s been weeks. With the pregnancy, I thought you’d make a change. I didn’t trick you into this. It’s what happens when consenting adults have unprotected sex.”

  “I know it wasn’t a trick, but I wish—”

  “Don’t say it, Walter. Please don’t say you wish I weren’t pregnant. It’ll change everything.”

  I heard anger bubbling like an angry cauldron. “You’ve only made a partial commitment to me. Are you really going to leave Tracy, or is that what you tell me to keep this thing between us going?” She used her finger to point at herself and me.

  I’m sure she meant to ask if I wanted to keep screwing her and I did. I relished the look on my brothers faces when I told them about my twenty-something girlfriend. Even though they were being faithful husbands now, neither of them ever had an affair with a woman as young as Sasha. I saw the admiration in their eyes; it was the only time I felt equal to them.

  “Don’t start with this again, Sasha. By now you ought to know how much you mean to me. Dammit. But I have no intention of turning Crystal’s world upside down right now. Not before her wedding. So don’t ask me to do that.”

  She huffed, faced forward, and crossed her arms over her stomach.

  I could understand her doubt, but leaving a marriage is not like putting on clean underwear. My life with Tracy was so intertwined with material things, memories and people. “I told you before, that after the wedding I’m telling Tracy I’m leaving. Nothing can change that.”

  We got into the car.

  “I’ve heard that before,” she hissed before buckling her seatbelt.

  “You have to be patient. We’ve had this discussion.”

  “We’re having it again. When? When are you leaving her?”

  “After the wedding.” I gripped the steering wheel with both hands.

  “Walter, I mean it, are you really leaving? Are you going to leave the big house, the fancy parties, and your well-connected friends, and come to live with me and the baby? What does ‘after the wedding’ mean? The day after, the week after or the year after?”

  “What’s this about, Sasha? What’s wrong?”

  “You keep saying you’re leaving, but you keep finding reasons to stay. Tracy is having a hard time, wait until Crystal finishes school, and wait until after Crystal’s wedding. There’s always a reason, another delay. I don’t want to wait another month. I won’t.” She turned back to me. “If you want, I’ll tell Tracy about us and I’ll tell her your marriage is over.”

  “No. That’s not an option. I told you I’d talk to Tracy. It’s only a few more days, Sasha.”

  “We’ll see.” She sat back in the seat with a defiant thump.

  “I’ve made a full commitment to you. I’m paying your mortgage. I bought you a car. I give you money every month to help with the expenses. You know the pressure I’m under at work. And the wedding is days away. Once this stuff is all behind me…we…I…can tell Tracy I want a divorce.” I banged my hand against the steering wheel. “Stop acting like a brat. You knew what you were getting into.”

  I glanced at her from the corner of my eye. She looked young and vulnerable. I wanted to believe her insecurities were borne out of her youth, but I was beginning to think it was a character weakness. From the very beginning of our relationship she had challenged me to demonstrate my feelings for her. With increasing frequency she laid out ultimatums to see how well I performed.

  I pulled into the doctor’s office parking lot and turned off the engine. Her short dress exposed her thighs. I stroked her knee then ran my hand under her hem. A weak smile danced on her lips. I pulled her into my arms and held her tight.

  “Damn, those pregnancy hormones,” I whispered in her ear.

  She giggled and wrapped her arms around my neck. “Okay, Walter. I believe you.” Her eyes lightened.

  I got out of the car and opened her door. She gave me a clear shot of her hot pink panties as she stepped out of the car.

  “Jesus, Sasha, did you have to do that? Now I’ll be thinking about you all afternoon.”

  “That’s exactly why I did it.” She tossed her curly mane over her shoulder.

  “What about my idea of swinging by the house for a quickie?”

  “I think you still love your wife.” She maneuvered her body closer and grabbed my crotch.

  “What? Why Sasha? Look, let’s get back in the car and finish this conversation. People will be staring at us.”

  “No, let’s just go inside. We’ll be late.” She turned on her high-heeled sandals and marched towards the building. I fell in behind her, my eyes on her shapely bare legs. The hassle she gave me was worth it, I thought as I stepped up beside her to hold her hand.

  While she signed in at the receptionist desk, I sat in a waiting room chair as far away from the other pot
-bellied patients as possible. Women in various stages of pregnancy lined the room. Some of them were alone, other were with husbands or the guys unlucky enough to knock them up. I fit into that unlucky category. Because, even with the shapely legs, great food, and wonderful sex, I was hiking up the rough side of a mountain.

  I crossed my legs and sat up straight to alleviate the pressure on my chest, and waited for this appointment to be over. Staying at the personnel meeting would have been a lot less painful than this.

  Before Sasha could finish at the receptionist desk the door that led to the examination rooms opened. My eyes locked on Carla the second she crossed the threshold with Javier schlepping behind her.

  I jumped up. My heart smacked against my rib cage.

  “Walter, what are you doing here?” Carla’s obnoxious voice filled the room. She sauntered towards me, her hips swaying in a way that was sexy only to Javier. “Is everything okay with Tracy?” She placed her blood-red fingernails on her hips.

  I trained my glance on Carla and Javier, refusing to look at Sasha standing behind them.

  “Everything is fine.” My voice sounded far too chipper for the environment.

  “I didn’t know Tracy came to Dr. Johnson. Where is she?” Carla was so loud, everyone turned to stare. She peered around the room like she expected Tracy to suddenly appear, then her gaze landed on Sasha. My heart refused to beat until Carla snapped her attention back to me. Sasha took a nearby seat and watched us.

  “She’s not here. One of the admin assistants got sick in the office and this is her doctor,” My knees shook. I thought Sasha would come our way.

  “Hmmm.” Carla placed her index finger on her cheek and didn’t try to hide her suspicion or contempt.

  “Hey, Walter man.” Javier extended his hand for me to shake. “Look Carla, we have to go, I’ve got to get back to work.” Javier did a two-step toward the door.

  “Okay darling.” She patted his hand. “Tell Tracy I’ll call her later. I’m so excited about the little soiree we godmothers are throwing for Crystal tonight. You won’t be hanging around, will you?” She ran her hand through her tresses.

  Javier shuffled from one foot to the next.

  “I don’t plan to be there. I’ll be working late,” I said.

  “Yeah, just make sure. Because there won’t be any men there, hanging around eating up all our goodies and trying to rule the night.”

  “I have no intention of doing any of that.”

  Javier grabbed her hand and pulled her toward the exit. I plopped into my chair and exhaled.

  “Are you sure everything is okay, Walter? You look funny.” Carla asked over her shoulder.

  “Carla, he’s fine, let’s go.” Javier grabbed her hand and pulled her out of the room.

  Sasha frowned at me for a full minute before crossing the room and sitting beside me. “She will probably call Tracy from the lobby.”

  A stream of sweat rolled down my back. The pressure on my chest increased, making it harder to catch my breath. A massive heart attack would have solved all my problems. Every one of them.

  “You’re busted now, aren’t you?” Sasha positioned her purse in her lap.

  I couldn’t respond, my heart was beating a million times a minute. Instead, I turned my attention to the television positioned in the corner near the ceiling.

  “What are you going to do?”

  I shrugged. “Can you be quiet for a moment and let me think?”

  She leaned over her chair and drew close to my ear. “I’m not going to live like this much longer. I’m tired of hiding, Walter.”

  I clamped my jaw and shifted my position in the chair away from her. Sasha didn’t say anything else. She flipped through a parenting magazine while she waited, but only glanced at the pictures and articles before turning to the next page.

  “Ms. Samuels, you can come back now.” Sasha cut her eyes at me as I followed her into the examination room. She undressed, following the instructions the nurse gave her, the whole time giving me a cold stare as if I were one of American’s Most Wanted.

  “What could I say, Sasha, my pregnant mistress is here for an appointment?”

  She hunched her shoulders. “That would have been fine. Just drop the mistress part. I hope I’m more to you than that.” She flashed the ring I’d given her.

  The doctor came in and closed the door. He didn’t look old enough to be out of medical school. His buzz-cut and clean face reminded me of a first year intern.

  “So, Mr. Samuels, are you hoping for a boy or a girl?” He tugged on latex gloves and wheeled his chair toward the examination table. He motioned Sasha to place her feet in the stirrups.

  “It’s Baptiste, and a boy would be nice.”

  Sasha stared at me, disapproval burned in her eyes. The doctor looked from Sasha and back to me. “Next month we’ll do an ultrasound and tell you for sure. Can you wait that long?”

  “We’ll manage,” I responded.

  The doctor prodded and poked Sasha. “Based on the information you’ve given us and the exam, you are about six months along. Everything appears to be fine. Keep taking your prenatal vitamins and I’ll see you in a month.” He gave me a quick once-over before clicking his pen and rushing out the door.

  Sasha slid off the table, her bottom lip tucked under her teeth. She turned her back to me while dressing, which meant I was being given the silent treatment. At least it had a good view.

  We pulled out of the parking lot and Sasha’s mouth was still twisted into a frown. “Why was it important for you to make sure the doctor knew your name?”

  “Do you think I should have let him think I was Mr. Samuels? Did he think I was your father or your husband? Either way, he needed to know.”

  “What does it matter what he thought?”

  “It mattered to me. Just like the run-in with Carla meant something to you.” I glanced over at her. “Why are you crying?”

  “How the hell do I know? I’m pregnant, be thankful I not homicidal.” She fished a tissue out of her purse and swiped her nose.

  The tears were a device and nobody used it better than Sasha. She could start bawling at the sight of road kill. I was smart enough to know I was being manipulated, but too exhausted to fight back. Maybe it was my fault she was in this situation.

  “I have an idea.” I made a sharp left turn away from the bookstore. “I think I know just the thing to bring that perfect smile back to your beautiful face.”

  “Oh yeah. What?”

  I pulled to a stop in front of Goldstein’s Fine Jewelry.

  “You think jewelry will make everything better?” The twinkle in her eyes betrayed her tone.

  “I do.” I held her face between my hands and stared into her innocent eyes. Her cheeks glistened with tears. I must have been crazy trying to please two women. I kissed her delicate lips. Her mouth was salty. Afterwards, I walked around to her side of the car and held her hand to escort her into the store.

  She walked along the glass showcases. Her slow thorough examination of the trinkets reminded me of my mother. It wasn’t until I was in college that I realized my mother manipulated me by slowing her pace. Sasha moved with excruciating slowness. I allowed her this victory.

  I stood aside and let her browse in peace. How our relationship got so far mystified me. I thought it was just fun-crazy sex. But the deception morphed and grew into an apocalyptic affair. I couldn’t love Sasha like I loved Tracy. She shouldn’t expect me to. But the baby...

  I rubbed my chest. The pain was intense.

  “Sasha, I need to get back to work.” I walked up behind her. “I’m sure you see something in here that you like.”

  She pointed to a two-carat diamond tennis bracelet. Her eyes sparkled along with the gemstones and her sweet smile returned. “It almost matches the necklace you gave me for Christmas.” She ran her hand along the fine gold chain around her neck.

  “Let me see that bracelet, please.”

  The salesman unlocked the c
ase and placed the bracelet on a velvet pouch. Sasha turned the bracelet over again and again, allowing the sunlight to catch the facets of the stones. She was like a child with a new bauble. If it kept her quiet for a while, it was worth the money.

  “Is that what you want, honey?” I ran my hand around her waist.

  “Yes, isn’t it gorgeous? I love it.”

  “We’ll take the bracelet. You don’t need to wrap it. I think she’s going to wear it home,” I said.

  I paid for the bracelet and hurried Sasha back to the car.

  She cozied up to me. “Do you still want to make a stop at the house before going back to work?”

  “I can’t now. I’ve got a meeting. I’ll be there tonight and you can make up to me.” Sex and gifts solved all her problems.

  “I’ll be waiting.” She licked her lips, taunting me with seduction.

  Before she got out of the car at the bookstore, I held her arm. “Sasha, you’ve got to be patient. Everything will be fine. Trust me.”

  Chapter Fourteen - Tracy

  The sight of my parent’s semi-detached Fairmount Park house made me exhale. Beautiful Bur Oak trees lined both sides of the street, forming a lush green canopy across the road. Thoughts of the street where I grew up gave me a warm feeling.

  As little girls, Ursula and I ran along the street collecting acorns that fell from the huge trees. We scooped up the nuts in empty mayonnaise jars and counted our loot at night. Every day we rushed from one end of the street to the other to see who could collect the most acorns before Halloween, when the yellow-green canopy of leaves fell from the trees and covered the lawns with a crunchy carpet.

  My mother stood in the door waiting on me, so I stopped reminiscing and got out of the car.

  “Hey Mom.” I kissed and hugged her.

  “Girl, what has taken you so long to come home? What has got you so busy?”

  I followed her into the kitchen. No matter how many years I’d been away, she still called this my home.

  “You’re not working today?”

  “No, I’m off all week taking care of some final wedding details.”