The Intern Diaries Bundle

by D. C. Gomez

  I was always amazed how things came to you when you were working out or in the shower.

  “I like it. Simple, destructive, and to the point. Nice job, Isis.” Constantine was smiling like a proud parent.

  “Let’s not celebrate just yet. We still have to execute this. Bartholomew, is your robot ready for competition?”

  “Oh trust me, Terminator is ready.”

  Bartholomew had named his robot Terminator. I was afraid to ask what this robot looked like.

  “Good, we’re going to need it. We need to get in and start scouting the park. All participants have VIP access according to the packet they gave Bartholomew yesterday.” I felt like a proud parent or responsible older sister; I did manage to read his instructions. I haven’t read my manual, but anything dealing with Bartholomew I paid close attention to. “Bob and I will go with you, as your robot assistants. While you’re setting up Terminator, we’ll check out the park. Constantine, you have aerial support. We need eyes in the sky. Just don’t blow anything up, OK?” I gave Constantine a level look.

  “One little fountain and the whole world goes paranoid. By the way, it was a hideous fountain anyway; the new one is so much better.” Constantine had blown up a memorial fountain and half of the post office with his drone last fall, fighting witches. We learned very quickly that Constantine was trigger happy and little reminders were needed.

  “Yes, the new fountain is beautiful, but the old one was pretty nice too. So let’s keep Spring Lake in one piece today.” The College Bowl was taking over most of the park and I was hoping the park would be standing after we were done.

  “Fine, but nobody likes those fountains in that park anyway,” Constantine said, looking very dignified. I couldn’t help it; I had to smile. Bartholomew and Bob were doing the same thing.

  “Any questions?” I asked the boys and they all shook their heads. Most of the time Constantine was in charge of planning. But we found out when it came to planning around human events or significant locations, it was safer if I did it. The destruction and collateral damage was a lot smaller with my plans. Bob handed drinks all around—orange juice and hot chocolate, of course. He had a huge mug of coffee for himself. My phone went off and I almost jumped. I forgot I had the stupid thing in my pocket.

  “Hi, Eric. You’re up early.” If Eric was calling at this hour, it was not good. I put him on speakerphone, so I could save myself from having to repeat everything.

  “We got a body.”

  “Should we be worried?” I asked after a moment of silence.

  “It meets the description of your accountant. I pulled some strings and got permission to let you come and ID the body.” Eric sounded very proud of himself. Why would I ever want to see a dead body right after breakfast? I didn’t mind souls at all. I enjoyed them. But dead bodies decompose at an incredible rate and they smell. Not to mention once the soul leaves, the body stops looking human and just falls apart.

  “Great. Can’t wait.” I didn’t want Eric to think I wasn’t appreciative. I made a crazy face to Bartholomew in shock. Bartholomew covered his mouth, trying not to laugh.

  “I’ll send you the directions. See you when you get here,” Eric said in his official police-officer voice.

  “Thanks. See you soon.” We disconnected the call and I looked around the room.

  “Do you think it’s her?” Bob asked me as he started bringing food over.

  “I don’t think we’re that lucky. She’s straight crazy. I doubt she accidentally fell over dead right before her huge event.” I started cutting my pancakes while I spoke. Constantine was devouring his bacon and sausage already and Bartholomew was covering his pancakes in syrup. I had no idea where Bob found the recipe, but his gluten-free pancake mix was out of this world.

  “Are you going?” Bartholomew asked, before popping a massive piece of pancake in his mouth.

  “We can’t take any chances. If it’s her, we need to know, sooner rather than later. But our plan still stands. Bob, you and Bart head to the park and start scouting. I’ll catch up with you as soon as I’m done with Eric.”

  “We got this,” Bob replied when he finally started eating. We were a lot calmer now that we had a plan and marching orders. “Boss, would you make sure Eugene eats something, please? That boy is losing too much weight lately.”

  “After his all-nighter, he’ll be tired. I’ll keep an eye on him,” Constantine agreed.

  We all had things to do, but none of us rushed through breakfast. If the zombie apocalypse was starting, we were going to enjoy our meal together. We went over last-minute details on potential muster points. We were planning a small military campaign and we were all pretty comfortable with that.

  CHAPTER 32

  I needed to start asking more questions. Agreeing to meet Eric at some unknown location was not a bad thing. Driving up to a police investigation with a car full of weapons was a recipe for jail time. After this past year, I needed to learn to give up my expectations of things for those expectations were always wrong. If I expected nothing, I would not be disappointed and still surprised. As I parked next to the yellow tape at the banks of the Red River in Hooks, I was in shock.

  I had never been out here, but the place was beautiful. It was close to Hooks city limits heading north, away from the central town. The river was pretty high, due to all the winter rains. A sandy beach ran down along the river for several miles before turning back to the wild terrain. State troopers, city officers, and unmarked cars were everywhere, destroying the scenery. I did a quick mental check on my arsenal. I took the gun from my back and placed it under my seat. I wanted to make sure nobody confiscated my Smith & Wesson special.

  Cautiously, I got out of Ladybug. It didn’t take long to find Eric; he was standing by a group of men wearing diving suits. He looked up and waved at me. I waved back. I wondered how he knew I was looking at him. Maybe wizards and witches had a unique sense for that kind of stuff. I strolled around, willing myself to blend in with the rocks. It was hard; I was the only one wearing jeans and sneakers. Eric wasn’t in uniform, but he still had slacks and a polo shirt.

  “Thank you for coming, Isis. This shouldn’t take long.” Eric told me as he came closer.

  “When was she found?” I asked. With the number of people here, somebody had to have reported it hours ago.

  “We got a called from a man walking his dog out here. He found the body stuck in between two boulders. He couldn’t reach it, so he called it in.” Eric and I made our way toward the team standing around the body. “The coroner thinks she’s been dead less than a day.” As we got closer, the smell of decay grew stronger.

  “Hi, gentlemen,” Eric told his peers.

  “Are you sure about this? It’s not a pretty sight,” one of the guys wearing a white coat said to us. Maybe he was the coroner. As I looked at his serious face, I knew I wasn’t ready, but I couldn’t turn back now.

  “Yes, sir,” I replied. I realized everyone was looking at me.

  “Please, brace yourself.” He pulled the tarp back from the body with one smooth motion. He was the coroner and used to seeing dead bodies. He didn’t flinch like the rest of us.

  Oh lord, it was a horrible sight. I took a quick step back and covered my mouth. The last thing I wanted was to puke all over their evidence. Eric was right. It was a match for height, weight, and shape. But the face was missing. It looked like an animal had taken a huge bite out of it. Eric was looking pale next to me. I was glad I wasn’t the only one traumatized. As much as I stared at the destroyed body, there was no way to confirm the identity. So convenient. No way of knowing till the police department ran its tests. My gut was telling me she was playing with us. I took a few steps away before I could get a delicious whiff of the smell.

  “Sorry, sir, I really can’t say for sure if it’s her or not,” I told the coroner. “Would you be able to identify her by her fingerprints or anything else?” I was hoping those detective shows were based on some kind of truth because
I had no idea what I was talking about.

  “Eventually, yes. It’ll take some time to go over all the evidence and go through all of our databases. But we’ll get it done.” The coroner smiled at me. I was sure he was trying to make me feel better. I wondered if Eric had told these people I was a friend of the family. My phone vibrated and brought me back to reality. I excused myself and took a few steps away from the group.

  “Bob, what’s going on?” I was so grateful for caller ID.

  “Isis, we got a problem.” I was pretty sure Bob forgot that we had started the week with problems.

  “I’m all ears. What’s up?”

  “She has three pie stands here,” Bob said, sounding almost incredulous.

  “Three? Are you kidding me? How is she going to pull that off?”

  “She’s pretty smart. She hired college students to run them. According to all the kids, their delivery truck arrives at nine with all their pies.

  “Of course it does. There is nothing simple for us.” I looked around to watch more people wander around carrying stuff. “OK Bob. You’re going to have to hold it down till I get there.”

  “Is the dead body the accountant?” Bob asked in a whisper. He was probably around people and couldn’t talk regularly.

  “Can’t be determined yet. The face is missing, as if something ate it,” I whispered,

  “You were right, Isis. Nothing easy,” Bob replied.

  “Tell me about it. Be careful and keep your eyes open.” This was a minor setback but nothing we couldn’t handle.

  “You too. See you when you get here.” Bob disconnected. I made my way back to Eric.

  “Is everything OK?” Eric asked when the others were distracted.

  “We got three pie stands at the bowl. Eric, things are going to get nasty unless you can call it off,” I told him without looking at him.

  “Isis, I don’t have that much power or connections. The mayor would kill me if I said we needed to cancel this event with no actual proof. Somehow I doubt he’ll buy zombie apocalypse as a convincing campaign.”

  I hated to admit it, but Eric was right. Nobody was ever going to believe we had a zombie invasion in Texarkana.

  “Hey Eric, we found a basket. Any ideas?” A state trooper was walking over toward us.

  “What kind of basket?” I was afraid of what he was going to tell me.

  “You won’t believe it. It’s an actual picnic basket. I didn’t think they still make these. It looks like something went through it,” the state trooper said, almost laughing.

  “Show me, please.” I was a little too forceful because the state trooper was staring at me. He pointed in the directions of the basket. Two other officers were examining the contents.

  “Stop! Don’t touch it.” I yelled, running in their direction. Eric was right behind me. I made it to the little group and looked at the basket. The basket was destroyed. My fears were correct; the basket still had small pieces of pies inside.

  “Isis, what’s going on?” Eric demanded.

  “We got a problem. Those pies are probably contaminated, and if something ate them, this could be bad.” I looked at him as I spoke. I was hoping I was wrong.

  “Everyone, keep your eyes open,” Eric told the officers.

  “For what?” one of them asked.

  “For that,” I said, pointing in the direction of the vehicles. From behind the cars, three very large bobcats were walking out. “I guess we found out who ate the pies.” I looked at Eric, a little scared.

  “What’s wrong with those bobcats? They don’t look normal,” one of the troopers said. He was so right; the animals were foaming at the mouth.

  “They are infected and a lot more dangerous than normal ones.” Before any of us could move, the bobcats charged at us. They were faster than any animal I had ever seen.

  The officers pulled out their guns and started shooting. The area went wild in less than three seconds. All other officers began screaming, trying to find out what was going on. The bobcats scattered. Officers were getting attacked left and right. Everyone was shooting. This was an excellent time for me not to have my guns with me. I looked around for a place to hide. People were running and screaming. There was no place to hide. I was afraid I was going to get shot by a random bullet. I wasn’t sure if anyone was aiming anymore.

  I decided to head to Ladybug for cover when a large bobcat stepped in front of me. He looked hungry and was foaming even more. He had been shot on the side, but it didn’t slow him down. I looked around for something to use as a weapon. Before I could find anything, he pounced. I dove to one side just in time. He barely missed my leg. I was rolling on the ground when it pounced again. I managed to grab a rock from my side and throw it at him. I hit his head but to no effect. The bobcat just looked angrier. I was crawling back when it leaped, I covered my face with my arms and braced for impact.

  I heard the shot go off. I looked up and the bobcat was lying right next to me. Eric was running in my direction, holding his gun. Thank the lord Eric was an amazing marksman. That was an incredible shot.

  “Isis, are you OK?” Eric helped me to my feet.

  “That was terrifying,” I told him. I glanced at the bobcat. “Don’t tell Constantine; I don’t want to know if that little fellow is part of his family tree.” Eric looked at the bobcat again and nodded. The last thing I needed was Constantine wanting vengeance. “Is everyone OK?” I looked around the giant disaster zone.

  “After the initial shock passed, everyone recovered quickly. The other two are down, but some explanations will be in order.” He looked at me, taking a visual inspection.

  “I’m fine. But are you ready to explain that a zombie plague is loose in Texarkana and can affect anything, human and animal?” If people weren’t bad enough, I wasn’t ready for zombie cats and dogs.

  “I’m not sure I’m ready for that. Most people here will think rabies. This is not going to help convince them about zombies.” He had a point.

  “I need to get back. Can I go?” There wasn’t much left for me to do here and the boys needed me.

  “Yeah, be careful.” Eric looked worried.

  “I’m heading to Spring Lake Park. We could use your help.” We needed Eric and an entire unit of Navy SEALs.

  “Got it. I’ll meet you there as soon as I’m done here. Watch yourself, now. You’re a magnet for trouble.” Eric gave me a severe look like it was my fault bobcats appeared at his crime scene. I really could never win with people.

  I made my way quickly across the area toward Ladybug. Officers were being treated for bites, and I made a mental note to add them to our list of potential zombies. If those cats went zombie in less than a day, I was pretty sure our troopers would be turning fairly quickly as well. Oh lord, this was going to be messy.

  CHAPTER 33

  The drive back from Hooks on I-30 was quiet. I planned to get off at the Nash exit, swing by Reapers and change clothes. If I was going to be chasing zombies, I wanted to be comfortable. I was doing a mental recon of the park when my phone started vibrating. I answered it in Ladybug’s speaker system. Bartholomew decided I needed to get with the times. The car system announced Shorty was calling.

  “Hey, Shorty, what’s going on?”

  “Boss lady, you were not answering your texts,” Shorty said a little out of breath.

  “I’m driving. Trying not to die.” I had picked up too many souls who had been decapitated because of texting while driving. Not the way I wanted to go.

  “Very responsible of you, but we got a problem.”

  “Shorty, we got a lot of problems today. You need to be more specific.”

  “Boss lady, you remember the apartment buildings across from TC?” I made a faint grunt sound for him to continue. “Well, they’re overrun with zombies.”

  “What? Are you sure? How as that possible? We were there yesterday and it was clean.”

  “I was doing my rounds and made it down Robinson and it looks like the block party from
hell. You might want to hurry.” I was starting to hear screams in the back. That was not good.

  “I’m on my way. Can you contain the situation till I get there?” I hit the gas and started flying down I-30 to the Richmond exit in Texarkana.

  “Contain? Boss lady, I barely have enough ammo to stay alive. Do you remember I’m the cleanup crew? You tag them; I’ll bag them.”

  Shorty was starting to get loud. I liked his motto.

  “I got it. Take care and don’t let them touch you. On my way.” I disconnected the call and drove just as crazy as Shorty. Thank God Ladybug had a great center of gravity because I took a right turn at Richmond like an Indy driver.

  Time was not on our side today. I took another sharp right on Robinson and was relieved the road was clear. Either the situation was not as bad as Shorty described it or we had time. I flew down the road and made the traffic light right before TC. That’s when the situation deteriorated quickly. It was bad; it just hadn’t spread. I promptly parked behind Shorty, grabbed two large paint guns, and jumped out of the car. I stayed as low as possible, to avoid the zombies.

  Shorty was inside the truck, leaning on the driver’s door and staring out the passenger window. I quickly tapped the window to get his attention. I was afraid I gave the poor boy a heart attack. He jumped at least two feet in the air, hitting his head on the roof of the truck. He lowered the window, holding his chest.

  “Are you trying to kill me?” Shorty was somewhat yelling and whispering at the same time. It was a weird combination.

  “Sorry. I thought you saw me coming.” If the situation weren’t so insane, I would have laughed. “Status report. How bad is it?”