The Intern Diaries Bundle

by D. C. Gomez

  “In that case, it is a blessing Bob found us,” Constantine spat. “Your plans have a way of getting lots of soldiers killed, or worse, dismembered.” Constantine gave War a fixed stare.

  “Look who’s talking, buddy.” War laughed. “All your plans end in Death and explosions.”

  I pressed my lips together. War was right about Constantine, so no sense in arguing.

  “Well that’s my job. I do work for Death, after all,” Constantine said, showing his sharp teeth. Did he have a different set of rules than I did? He was being awfully forward.

  War shrugged. “Fine, but we are losing time. I wanted to give a bit of advice.” War directed his attention to me. ”Start with the vampire territory to maximize the night. Katrina should be able to guide you.”

  “Where exactly is the vampire territory?” I asked. Surely Google Earth wouldn’t be able to help me with this one.

  “New York City, my dear child. Where else?” War said, his voice way too chipper for the conversation we were having.

  “Of course. Where else?” My voice dripped with sarcasm, and I shot him a huge grin, just like he’d been doing to everyone. I could play this game with him. No problem.

  “Oh, my dear, you should have stayed in the Army. You would have been great,” War told me with a longing look that made my skin crawl.

  “Keep your hands away from my Intern, you thief,” Constantine hissed at War. “What is it with people trying to steal you away today?” Constantine directed his last statement to me.

  “What can I say? I am in high demand,” I told him, planting my hands on my hips and jutting out my chest.

  “Yes, you are,” War said. The look he gave me could melt butter, which made me very uncomfortable. “You still have time to come back,” he added, his tone more than serious.

  “Back off Guerra, or I’ll rip your eyes off.” Constantine’s fur stood on all ends.

  “Fine, but the offer stands.” War directed his words at me, but his gaze stayed locked on Constantine.

  “Whatever,” Constantine told him. “How about we focus on the real issue? I guess it is a good thing we brought the jet. Looks like you are going to need it.”

  “Aren’t you guys coming?” I asked him in a hesitant voice.

  “It depends who the delegations agreed to have investigating,” War answered.

  “Just Isis and me,” Katrina answered, still at parade rest.

  “Why does that matter?” I said. My chest fluttered. I didn’t like this at all. I needed my team with me.

  “If you have anybody else with you, it could be seen as treason.” Constantine paused. “By either side,” he said in a soft voice.

  “That is crazy,” I told him.

  “I never claimed supernatural negotiations made sense,” Constantine told me. “I recommended you two get going. Take the SUV.” Just like that, he was back to giving orders. He really should’ve worked with War.

  “How are you guys getting back?” I didn’t want to leave them stranded in the middle of Kansas.

  “We are good,” Constantine said with a little too much happiness in his tone. “I’m sure War will give us a lift back as soon as he’s done trying to steal our team.” He narrowed his eyes in War’s direction.

  “Come on, old man. Have a little faith in me.” War leaned down and tried to pet Constantine.

  Constantine jumped away and extended his claws.

  War shrugged and stepped away. “Fine. I won’t do that again.”

  “Hey Isis, take this. You are going to need it.” Bartholomew stepped around War and headed toward me, pulling a heavy-duty, industrial quality phone from his pocket. He handed it to me.

  I took it and examined it. “Do you always carry extra phones with you?”

  “Only when we leave Reapers,” Bartholomew told me. “I’ll take your old phone. This new one is secure, and nobody will be able to trace it besides me.” I handed Bartholomew my old phone, more than impressed with his forward thinking. “Your credit card please.” He held his hand out.

  “What? Why?”

  “Well, let’s see,” Bartholomew started. “What’s the point of giving you an untraceable phone when people can just monitor your card transactions?” His eyes lit up with humor.

  I really had no clue how he thought of those things.

  I handed Bartholomew my credit and debit card. He gave me some fancy platinum card that read Reapers. I put that in my wallet and wondered what else we needed to trade.

  “I have a couple of buyers in the city,” Bartholomew said, back to talking shop. “Give me a call and I will set up a meeting if you need anything. Be careful and stay in touch.” Before I could reply to him, he wrapped me up in a huge hug. It warmed my heart. I loved the kid more than he knew.

  “Great. Now that all the logistics are taken care of, it is time for all of us to go.” Without checking for confirmation, War walked back inside the house.

  “Bye Katrina.” Bartholomew waved at her. “See you at home and be careful,” he said to me as he gave me another hug, then he walked back to the porch.

  Constantine and Bob had stepped over to us and were waiting their turn.

  “Bartholomew is right, you know? You need to be careful,” Bob told me, giving me a squeeze of his own.

  “Are you going to be okay?” I asked him quietly.

  “I’ll be fine,” Bob answered and pulled away, but I refused to let him go. “I promise, alright? Come home soon, okay?” He squeezed me back and I let him go.

  I knelt down to look Constantine in the eye.

  “I’ll keep an eye on him,” Constantine told me as we both watched Bob and Bartholomew move side-by-side towards the house. “You need to focus on you. Remember, you can’t trust vampires or elves, no matter what they say. Keep your scythe on you, and if you feel threatened at any time, chop their heads off.”

  Motivational speeches from Constantine were always epic.

  “Got it,” I told him. I waved at the boys as they made their way in the house

  Katrina stood at the SUV, so I jogged to catch up. I could tell she was deep in thought, so I didn’t say anything as we climbed in the vehicle. It was safer to be quiet, which meant it was going to be a very long night.

  CHAPTER NINE

  We drove for about thirty minutes. The only thing Katrina said during the ride was that we were making a short stop by her house. She needed to change and pick up some gear, which was fine by me. I wished I was close enough to home to stop and pick up some stuff myself. I’d only brought an overnight bag, so I had a feeling I’d be using this new credit card a lot over the next three days.

  I was afraid the ride was going to be awkward, but I spent most of it trying to figure out how to use the new phone. Like everything Bartholomew gave me, this one was finger print activated.

  If all the things that happened in those Mission Impossible movies were possible, then breaking into our house, or any of our equipment for that matter, couldn’t be that difficult. People just needed my fingers, which would be easy enough to cut off. However, Bartholomew was a genius hacker, so I had a feeling he thought of everything that could happen ahead of time. At least I hoped he had because I’d grown kind of fond of my fingers.

  If I thought Texarkana was small, Junction City was tiny. The city had less than twenty-five-thousand citizens and sat just on the other side of Fort Riley. I couldn’t see much of the town, but the parts I could see looked really pleasant. I wondered how many soldiers retired in this town after they finished their military service.

  I was deep in thought when Katrina turned off the main street to a desolate area on the far side of town. She pulled up to a three-story apartment building with a manicured lawn and cute little porches. From the outside, I figured the building had at least six apartments.

  “Welcome to my home,” Katrina told me as she parked the SUV.

  “Which one is yours?” I asked her, trying to find something safe to talk about.

  “T
he whole building,” Katrina told me as she got out.

  I grabbed my bag from the SUV and hopped out, following behind her. “What do you mean by the whole building?” My gaze went over the apartment building.

  Katrina stopped for a second and shrugged her shoulder. “I spend a lot of time in this part of the country, so it was easier to buy the building than to try to find housing every time I come back.” She spoke like it was the most normal thing in the world. “For the record, the military shows that I’m renting the place. The soldiers that lived here are my elite force. I trained them myself. A tougher version of the Green Berets.”

  My mouth dropped at Katrina’s statement. That was unheard of.

  I knew a little about the Army’s deadliest soldiers, and not just the ghost stories I’d been told as a soldier. The Special Forces and the Green Berets were almost legends in the Army. Their training was brutal, and their missions were classified. To imagine a group of soldiers deadlier than either of those two…well, it gave me goosebumps. I had a new appreciation for the pretty blonde in front of me. If she was capable of training killing machines, I was pretty sure she could snap me in two. Why did War need me in this mess? He had G.I. Jane and the G.I. Joes here, so surely I couldn’t add anything better to the mix.

  “Isis, are you coming?” Katrina asked me from the entrance to the apartment.

  I’d been so lost in my thoughts I had stopped walking and she had kept moving forward. Did I really want to go in there? What if Katrina was mad that War was being nice to me instead of her? Would she try to kill me? I took a deep breath to calm myself and slowly started walking again. I really missed Bob.

  “Good evening ma’am,” a tall soldier said from behind the door. I almost screamed. I didn’t see him and had no idea where he had come from.

  “Hi,” I tried to say, but it came out more like a squeak.

  “Could I take your bag?” a second shadow ghost asked me from my right side. Where were these guys coming from? They weren’t soldiers; they were crazy ninjas.

  “Thanks, I got it. It’s really light,” I told the second ninja, trying to keep my cool. There was no way I was giving them my bag. If all hell broke loose, I needed weapons to shoot these fools because hand to hand combat was out of the question.

  “Isis, meet Jones and Smith.” Katrina pointed at the ninjas, but I had no idea which was which. “They are in charge of security.” She beamed like a proud mom.

  “You are both doing a great job,” I muttered before I took off behind Katrina.

  “I’m leaving in twenty and won’t be back for seventy-two hours. Make sure to cover for me,” Katrina told her ninjas.

  “Yes, General,” they both replied in unison, then they disappeared, probably back to their posts.

  They were so creepy it sent shivers down my spine. Funny, since I worked for Death and all that.

  “I thought you were a colonel?” I asked Katrina. I had sworn her uniform had an eagle.

  “I have been all ranks in every branch of the military and every part of the country,” Katrina answered as she headed up the stairs. “My troops are the only humans who know my true identity and my real missions. When I recruited them, I was a General at the time, so the title stuck. Now they travel with me to every post and assignment.” When she finished, we stood in front of a door on the third floor. She made a sweeping gesture as she opened it and said, “Welcome to my home.”

  I went inside the most luxurious apartment I’d ever seen before—if the word apartment could be used to describe the place. It ran the whole length of the building. Beautiful Persian rugs were strategically placed around the hard wood floor. At the far end of the living area, there was a granite fireplace. Antique furniture was placed on the left side of the room, while on the right she had ultra-modern leather couches with a large screen TV and an office area. Over the fireplace, she had a Picasso. I wasn’t sure what to do or where to look, so I kind of just looked everywhere all at once.

  “Is that an original?” I tried to sound normal, but my voice came out high-pitched with excitement.

  “Yes. He gave it to me as a gift for my birthday.” Did she mean Picasso gave it to her for her birthday? No, she couldn’t mean that. Could she? That thing was probably worth a small fortune. I was not used to being around so much luxury or wealth. I was a little self-conscious and afraid of breaking something.

  I had no idea what to say, but I finally settled on, “Impressive.” I figured she was waiting for me to say something.

  “Isis, stop walking around all self-conscious. It’s a house, not a museum,” Katrina told me. “The kitchen is down the hall on the left. Go grab yourself some food. You never eat anything, and we have a long night ahead of us. I need to change and take care of some business before we go.” Katrina headed towards a hallway which I assumed led to her room.

  I made my way around the antique furniture and priceless Asian art until I entered a modern, but rather normal looking, kitchen. My shoulders relaxed and my heart rate slowed down. I could handle stainless steel appliances. I walked over to the cabinets and was relieved to find that her dishes were not pure crystal or fancy china. On her counter, Katrina had a cookbook on a stand. I loved the idea and made a mental note to get one for Bob. The cookbook was titled: The Vegan Life.

  Well, that is a surprise, I thought.

  “I’m a child of the Great Depression,” Katrina said from the doorway. I didn’t hear her come in, so the sound of her voice made me jump at least two feet off the ground. She just smiled at me. “My parents didn’t have a lot of money, so we grew up eating a lot of vegetables that we grew ourselves. The habit stuck with me. No worries, though. We can pick you up some meat on our way to the airport.” Katrina winked at me.

  “I actually don’t eat meat. So, anything you have in the fridge is probably fine,” I replied, leaning against the counter.

  “You are definitely not a typical Death’s Intern,” Katrina told me as she studied me more carefully.

  “I hear that a lot,” I said as I stood straight and turned to open her fridge.

  “It’s not a bad thing, trust me,” Katrina replied as she turned around. “I was going to tell you to try the eggplant lasagna. It is to die for.” After those words, she waltzed out of the room again.

  Eggplant lasagna sounded nasty. Last time I checked, Vegans didn’t eat anything animal based, which included dairy. What kind of cheese-like product did she use in a lasagna? I was really afraid to try it, but I was also really hungry.

  Katrina’s fridge was just as impressive as her house. The inside was super organized, and each item was labeled with a date. I found the lasagna, as well as some Thai noodles, honey glazed carrots, some sort of Rice Krispy treats, and chopped cantaloupe, which I had no idea was in season. My stomach grumbled and my mouth watered at the sight of all the food. Before I could stop myself, I pulled everything out. It was better to try it all and find something I liked than to try one thing and hate it, right?

  Ten minutes later, I was still eating. Everything was amazing and I felt like I was at the best all you can eat buffet. I wasn’t crazy about the eggplant lasagna, but it wasn’t as bad as I had imagined. On the other hand, the Thai noodles were amazing. They were covered with spicy peanut sauce and had chopped veggies mixed in—a fabulous combination of noodles and veggies. The carrots were tender, and the cantaloupe was sweet and delicious. On top of that, Katrina had some frozen treat that tasted just like ice cream made out of almond milk.

  I was lost in food bliss when my phone rang. The new ring tone scared me to death. I was putting that on silence ASAP.

  “Hello,” I said.

  “Isis, where are you? Why haven’t you called me back?” It was Abuelita on the line. I guessed Bartholomew had at least managed to forward the calls from my old phone to this one.

  Abuelita was my pseudo grandma in Texas. She was in her sixties, a beautiful woman about five eleven with amazing silver hair. Abuelita had always reminded me of
my godmother. Now that I thought about it, of course she did. She was also a witch. Why hadn’t I ever thought about how similar their mannerisms were?

  “Isis, are you listening to me?” Abuelita snapped, her persistence shining through the phone line.

  “Sorry Abuelita. I was trying to chew and swallow.” That was technically true. I sucked at lying, especially to those who knew me. “What’s going on?”

  “Where are you?” Abuelita asked, a worried lilt in her tone.

  “In Kansas, on a mission,” I said and left it at that. I didn’t know how much I could tell people.

  “Kansas? Isis, you better hurry home. Not even Dorothy wanted to stay there,” Abuelita said, her voice completely serious.

  I couldn’t help it. I laughed. “Working on it. But what is going on? I’m sure you’re not calling just to check on me.” I stuck a forkful of Thai noodles in my mouth, figuring I could chew while I waited for Abuelita to respond.

  “Please tell me it was not your idea to sponsor the Halloween parade.” I coughed and sputtered, spitting noodles onto the counter. Maybe it hadn’t been the best idea to take a bite…

  “What parade? Explain,” I demanded. In our area, most churches were against Halloween. I was sure the Main Street group downtown was not promoting this event.

  “We are having our first annual Halloween parade. According to the flyer, the main sponsor is Reapers Incorporated,” Abuelita said, the words flowing out in one long breath. “Isis, the local churches are planning to boycott the event and your business. Of course, they still haven’t figured out how to boycott you. Probably because nobody in the community has a clue what you guys do for business. But the parade boycott is on.”

  I couldn’t tell if Abuelita was mad or excited about this.

  “Not my idea, Abuelita. I’ll ask Constantine when I get back. What do you recommend we do until then?” I was hoping for some solid advice because I had no clue what to do with any of this information.