Dark Spaces

by Black, Helen

  Lilly went to bat him around the head, and he attempted the same manoeuvre as Sam to evade her. But he lacked his son’s speed and she managed to give him a smart clip around the ear.

  ‘Is that any way to treat someone bearing gifts?’ He held the bags aloft.

  ‘Bloody hell,’ said Lilly. ‘You must have been waiting outside when the doors opened.’

  David dropped his bags on the kitchen table and began to unpack. ‘They said on the news last night that hardly any delivery vans were making it through to the shops so I thought I’d better grab what they had.’ He picked up a bag of frozen cod fillets. ‘Pretty poor pickings, I’m afraid.’

  ‘No worries.’ Lilly tapped her cookbook. ‘I was planning fish pie.’

  ‘See, Sam.’ David rubbed his hands together with a grin. ‘What a team your mum and I make!’

  ‘You da’ man,’ said Sam holding up his palm.

  ‘No, you da’ man.’ David high-fived him.

  Lilly gave an indulgent sigh and opened her laptop.

  ‘I thought you weren’t working today,’ said Sam.

  ‘Just checking my emails,’ Lilly replied.

  In fact, she was looking for something from Jack, but there was nothing. The previous night she had sent him a note, informing him of the two names Harry had given her and suggesting he run them past the CPS. She’d kept the whole thing short and formal to avoid misunderstanding.

  Jack was tired and hungover. He’d drunk far too much whiskey last night and hadn’t been able to sleep. Every hour, on the hour, he’d got out of bed and reread Lilly’s email.

  Kate put an arm around his shoulders. ‘You need something to eat.’

  She was right. His gastric juices needed something to work on apart from alcohol and fury.

  He put a slice of bread in the toaster and pulled margarine from the fridge, but when he removed the top, the sight of the oily softness turned his stomach.

  When the toast popped, he took a bite and chewed the dry mouthful, fighting the urge to heave. Then he looked at the email once again.

  To: Jack McNally

  From: Lilly Valentine

  Subject: Chloe Church

  As you are aware, it is part of Chloe Church’s defence that both she and Lydia Morton-Daley were repeatedly sexually assaulted whilst in the Grove. It is also her contention that the perpetrator of said attacks is likely to be the perpetrator of Lydia Morton-Daley’s murder.

  To this end, Dr Harry Piper has compiled a list of those individuals who had access to Chloe’s room. It is fortunately a very small list and therefore it should be easy and quick to undertake the necessary forensic tests.

  The names of the individuals in question are:

  Elaine Foley.

  John Staines.

  I would urge you to contact your lawyer as a matter of the utmost urgency as we will be making an application to the court.

  Jack swallowed the toast, gagged and ran for the toilet. With his head down the bowl, he cursed Lilly Valentine one more time. She was a prize-winning, grade-A bitch and he couldn’t work out why he had never seen it before.

  Poor Jack is in a dreadful pickle.

  I can hear him vomiting in the toilet.

  I admit I topped up his glass one too many times last night. Mea culpa. But in all honesty, the thing that’s made him ill is the email from the ex.

  Lilly Valentine really does have the most stupendous timing.

  At four this morning, he finally showed it to me, convinced that it is confirmation that she’s starting proceedings against him on behalf of the nasty little shrink. Well, of course the email doesn’t say that, but Jack’s vision has clouded. He appears, quite literally, unable to comprehend English.

  I feigned shock and disgust in equal measure. It seemed the right thing to do.

  Here he comes now, smelling of bile and mouthwash. Silly sausage.

  ‘I can’t believe she’s doing this to me,’ he says.

  ‘Come on, Jack, she hasn’t done anything,’ I say. ‘Yet.’

  He flops into a chair at the kitchen table and I massage his shoulders. His skin feels clammy in my fingers.

  ‘Do you know what the most ironic thing about all this is?’ His head bends forward in defeat. ‘I’ve bent the rules a million times for that woman. I put my head on the block like an eejit, but it looks like all that’s been forgotten.’

  ‘People have short memories,’ I say.

  This is true. It never ceases to amaze me how easily people erase their tiny minds and rewrite history to suit themselves. I never forget anything. Ever.

  ‘When they move on they want to pretend the past never existed,’ I tell him. ‘Especially when there’s someone new on the scene.’

  Jack turns to look at me. ‘Someone new?’

  ‘Oh, ignore me.’ I carry on kneading his shoulders. ‘I’m probably reading too much into things.’

  Jack catches my left hand with his right. ‘Let me be the judge of that.’

  I pause. I sigh. I pause again.

  ‘Kate?’

  ‘I could be completely wrong, but the way Lilly’s behaving makes me wonder if she has a new partner,’ I say.

  ‘Who?’

  I shrug. ‘I don’t know, Jack, it could be anyone. She seems pretty cosy with Harry Piper.’

  Jack’s body stiffens. ‘That would make sense.’

  ‘I could be way off here, Jack.’ I say. ‘I’m just thinking out loud.’

  He nods, but I can see where his mind is leading him.

  ‘She wants to play happy families with the head doctor,’ he says. ‘And I’m just a bloody inconvenience.’

  ‘That would be one possible explanation,’ I say.

  He jumps to his feet. ‘Alice is my daughter and if Lilly thinks she’s going to push me out, she’s got another thing coming. She thinks getting me the sack will help her do it, but she’s wrong,’ He gives a hollow laugh. ‘Frankly, I’ll have so much time on my hands I’ll get more contact with Alice. Mary, Mother of God, I’ll get her to move in.’

  Suddenly, he turns green and sprints off to the toilet again. I’m not sure whether it’s the sound of Jack dry retching, or the thought of Alice coming to live with us, but I give a shudder and have to sit down.

  It’s not that I dislike Alice. It’s more that she’s a baby and babies don’t register on my radar.

  Then again, if Alice did become a permanent fixture she would certainly cement things between Jack and I. We would be a unit. And Lilly would be nothing but a memory we could rewrite. Now I think about it, it’s the perfect solution. A ready-made family.

  I can’t have children, you see. When I was fifteen I gave myself an abortion. It was a very simple procedure, actually. The foetus came out quickly and painlessly. But I didn’t stop bleeding afterwards and had to have surgery. Everyone was completely melodramatic about it, particularly my mother, who sobbed and held my hand for days on end. I tried to explain that I didn’t care, but no one believed me.

  Jack comes back into the kitchen. ‘Sorry, love. I’m all over the place and talking shite.’

  ‘I don’t think you are, Jack,’ I tell him. ‘I think we should have Alice come and live here.’

  ‘What?’

  ‘If we don’t, it will only be a matter of time before Lilly stops you having any sort of relationship with Alice,’ I say.

  ‘I’m not sure she’d actually do that,’ he says.

  ‘I think she might,’ I say. ‘She already keeps you at arm’s length and you’ve said yourself that her ex-husband hardly had any contact with his son.’

  ‘David was a complete arse,’ he says. ‘He brought most of it on himself.’

  ‘So Lilly told you,’ I say.

  ‘I dunno.’

  He’s wavering. Come on, Jack, pick up the pen and let’s edit the history books here.

  ‘And I’ll be honest with you Jack,’ I say. ‘I’ve been really worried about Alice.’

  ‘Worried?’

&nb
sp; I take his hands in mine. ‘We both know there’s something wrong with Alice. She’s a beautiful girl, utterly gorgeous, but something’s not right. It may be a tiny thing that can be sorted out, but I don’t think Lilly will ever allow her to access any help she might need.’

  ‘She’s in denial,’ Jack says.

  ‘Yes, she is, and that’s understandable, but we have to put Alice’s best interests above our own feelings and above Lilly’s.’

  He doesn’t answer, just looks into my face.

  ‘I love Alice like my own,’ I say.

  His eyes well with tears. ‘Do you really think we could do this?’

  ‘Yes I do,’ I say. ‘Now you get a shower and sort out an application for those bloody medical notes. The chief super will find it hard to sack anyone who’s just caned a murder case.’

  With that, I shoo him out of the room and log on to the internet to find a local family solicitor. I can’t resist a laugh when the first entry is for a firm in Harpenden:Valentine & Co.

  Lilly pulled on her wellies.

  ‘Going out?’ David asked.

  Lilly nodded. ‘Sam’s cracking on with some work the school emailed, so I thought I’d take Alice out for a bit of fresh air.’

  ‘Want some company?’

  ‘Why not?’

  They stepped outside the cottage, their boots disappearing in a snowdrift.

  ‘Bloody hell,’ Lilly laughed. ‘We must have had another six inches last night.’

  David scooped up Alice, put her on his shoulders and they set off. Lilly could feel wet snow sliding down the inside of her boot as they made their way up the garden to the fields beyond. There was no right of way across the farmer’s land, but he was relaxed about Lilly hopping the fence every once in a while providing she steered clear of the crops.

  ‘This always was a fabulous spot,’ said David.

  Lilly fought the urge to point out that he’d been quick enough to leave it when Cara caught his eye.

  ‘We’ve been happy here,’ she said. ‘Sam and I.’

  The rough track that divided two fields was lost, so they settled on a march in a straight line. It was hard going and Lilly’s calves soon began to burn.

  ‘I think Sam has enjoyed having me around,’ said David.

  ‘Of course he’s enjoyed it,’ said Lilly. ‘He misses you something rotten when you’re not around. I’m sure Flora is missing you right now.’

  He nodded and kept on through the snow.

  ‘You can’t avoid Cara forever,’ said Lilly.

  ‘I know.’

  ‘You have to sort something out for Flora’s sake.’

  ‘I just need some time to get my head straight,’ said David.

  ‘It doesn’t work like that with kids. They need to know where they are and when they’re going to see their parents, otherwise they get confused and sad.’

  ‘Was Sam confused and sad when I moved out?’

  Lilly wasn’t going to lie. ‘Yes, he was. He never knew when you were going to turn up or when you were going to cancel.’

  They reached a high beech tree, its branches laden with snow, the boughs groaning under the weight.

  ‘I’m going to make it up to him,’ David told her. ‘And to you, Lil.’

  She turned, ready to explain that he should concentrate his efforts on his children and not worry about her, when a shout came from behind them and a figure stumbled in their direction.

  Lilly cupped her hand over her eyes. ‘Is that Sam?’

  ‘I think so,’ David replied.

  Her son soon caught up with them, out of breath with trying to run in the impossible terrain.

  ‘Where’s your coat, Sam?’ Lilly chided. ‘You’ll catch your death of cold out here without a coat.’

  He shook his head at her in exasperation. ‘That doctor.’ He had to stop and swallow some air.

  ‘You mean Harry?’ Lilly asked.

  Sam nodded.

  Lilly felt her stomach muscles tense. ‘What about Harry? Did he call?’

  ‘He’s at the cottage,’ said Sam.

  ‘Now?’

  ‘Yeah,’ Sam replied. ‘I said you were out with Dad and Alice, but he wouldn’t listen.’

  ‘You weren’t rude, were you, Sam?’

  ‘No. I just tried to tell him that you weren’t working today, that you were, you know, spending some time with your family. I mean it’s not a crime, is it?’

  ‘’Course not,’ said Lilly. ‘But it’s not Harry’s fault if something important has come up.’

  Sam shrugged. ‘Doesn’t matter anyway. He wouldn’t leave.’

  They trudged back to the cottage, Sam grumbling to his dad that Lilly never got any time off and Lilly trying to work out what might have happened. Please God it wasn’t Chloe.

  ‘I’m sorry to turn up on your doorstep like this,’ said Harry.

  He was literally on Lilly’s doorstep. Sam hadn’t let Harry into the house, but had left him freezing outside.

  ‘Come inside.’ Lilly gave Sam a withering look over her shoulder. ‘You must be going numb.’

  She led Harry through the cottage to the kitchen.

  ‘I need to speak to you,’ said Harry.

  ‘And they don’t have phones in Harpenden?’ Sam muttered.

  ‘Finish the work that school emailed,’ she said.

  ‘Done it.’

  ‘Then go and watch telly,’ Lilly told him.

  He threw Harry a scowl before traipsing into the lounge and turning the television on so loud that Alice screamed.

  ‘Sam!’

  He reduced the volume to merely ear-splitting with a theatrical sigh.

  ‘Kids,’ said Lilly. ‘If they told us how it was going to be, we’d have all bought goldfish instead.’

  Harry gave a polite smile.

  ‘So, what’s up?’ Lilly asked.

  ‘I got a call from someone called Kerry Thomson,’ he said.

  Lilly felt light-headed. Jack must have passed on the list of suspects to the CPS. Kerry must have decided that there was no case for Chloe to answer.

  ‘What did she say?’ Lilly asked.

  ‘She said I have to go to court tomorrow.’

  ‘That’s quick.’ Lilly beamed. ‘I thought they’d wait until forensics came back with a proper ID on the rapist, but the CPS must have decided they didn’t want to waste any more resources on it. Cutbacks and all that.’

  ‘I don’t think it’s got anything to do with cutbacks,’ Harry said.

  ‘Then it must be my legal genius.’

  Harry didn’t laugh. Was he pissed off that she wasn’t giving him credit for his part?

  ‘I know it was difficult for you to give me those names,’ she told him.

  His eyes clouded over.

  ‘You’re going to have to forgive yourself, Harry,’ she told him. ‘Yes, they’re your closest colleagues, but one of them is a very dangerous individual.’

  ‘I know that.’

  ‘Then why so glum? Soon that guilty party will be in jail and tomorrow Chloe will be freed from this horrible thing hanging over her,’ said Lilly.

  Harry shook his head. ‘I don’t think so.’

  ‘What?’

  ‘I don’t think the police have started making any investigations into the names I gave you. They haven’t even been in touch,’ he said. ‘I don’t think tomorrow’s hearing has anything to do with dropping the case against Chloe.’

  ‘Then why on earth is the case listed tomorrow?’ Lilly asked. ‘What does Kerry need you in court for?’

  No sooner had the words come out of her mouth than Lilly knew the answer. The realization struck her like a hammer blow. ‘Don’t tell me,’ she said. ‘The CPS have applied for Chloe’s medical notes.’

  Harry nodded. Lilly had to sit down. Jack hadn’t begun an investigation and Kerry hadn’t decided to drop the proceedings. On the contrary, they were ploughing on with the case against Chloe. Disappointment flooded over Lilly.

  ‘Wil
l they get the notes?’ Harry asked.

  ‘Depends,’ Lilly replied. ‘Can you hand on heart tell the court that there’s nothing in there that would support the prosecution case against Chloe?’

  ‘I don’t know.’

  Lilly hid her face in her hands. Bang went her quiet day.

  Gem turns the shower up as hot as it’ll go and covers herself in soap, rubbing the bar directly over her skin, including her mouth.

  There’s a knock on the bathroom door and Misty walks in. She’s smoking a fag, flicking her ash into the cup of her other hand. Gem feels a bit embarrassed in front of her, which is stupid if you think about it.

  ‘You can’t have a shower after each one,’ she tells Gem. ‘Your skin’ll fall off.’

  Gem don’t care and carries on scrubbing.

  ‘Just douche yourself,’ says Misty. ‘Get rid of the smell of johnnies and that.’ She looks around for an ashtray. ‘You are using johnnies aren’t you?’

  Gem’s shocked she even needs to ask.

  ‘Don’t look like that.’ Misty drops her fag end into the lav. ‘That Turkish bitch will do anything for a few extra quid.’

  Gem turns off the shower and starts to dry herself.

  ‘You sore, are you?’ Misty asks.

  ‘A bit.’

  Gem told Feyza last night that she’d start seeing some of Bill’s friends and she’s done three already today.

  ‘Use plenty of lube.’ Misty checks her reflection in the mirror, raking her fingers through her hair. ‘Get them done as quick as you can.’

  Everyone keeps telling her that and Gem does try, but the last one seemed to take an hour.

  ‘Lie there like a piece of meat and they’ll ride the fucking arse off you,’ Misty says. ‘Pretend you’re enjoying it and talk dirty. Tell ’em you’ve never had a cock like it.’ She leans closer to inspect the scars around her mouth. ‘And if that don’t work stick your finger up their arse.’

  ‘What?’

  Misty puts up her middle finger, the nail shorter than the rest. ‘Give it a quick suck and get it right up there.’ She shoves the finger in her mouth and pulls it out with a wet smack. ‘And don’t ask, just do it.’