by Jones, Isla
“You’re such an asshole,” I spat. “The deltas—the real ones—they’re just following their orders. There must be a reason the Atlanta CDC was picked. Maybe it has better scientists or equipment? And you’re risking the only thing that can stop the virus … for your own well-being?”
Castle nodded as Leo said, “Yes.”
I scoffed and buried my face in my hands.
As I hid behind my palms, Castle’s voice reached out to me; “With Leo’s resistance to the virus and Patient Zero, we have higher a chance of finding a vaccine. You said you want to see your sister again.” My hands dropped my face as I scowled at him. “This is how you can. Doctor Summer Miles is a biologist in the epidemiology team at DC. Your sister could still be there. And if she is, you will help us get inside.”
“They won’t be expecting a delivery,” added Leo. “A familiar face could come in handy.”
A bitter, shocked laugh jolted up my body. “I’ll help you get inside?” I said shrilly. “That’s—that’s why …”
I couldn’t think through the fog that settled in my mind. I tried to scrape up the words to match the sharp pain in my chest. I came up short.
They were using me. This whole time, they kept me close to better their chances in DC. Each time they’d saved me, it wasn’t out of love or affection; they had to do it for their mission. The minute they realised who I was in that meeting, they began their play. Castle took over in Leo’s absence, knowing he could lose me to grief.
They played their game. And I lost.
Zoe had been right about everything. They’d used her for information. And now, they were using me for access.
“I need space,” I whispered. As I pushed myself from the counter, Castle stood abruptly. I stilled, watching him with wary eyes. “Am I a prisoner as well?” I asked. “I can’t go inside and have a minute to myself to process all this shit you’ve thrown at me?”
“You threw it at yourself,” said Leo. “You did that when you stepped into this RV.”
His outline distorted as water filled my eyes. I threw my hands up in the air. “So, now what?” I turned my gaze on Castle; Castle, who I’d been in bed with just that day. “Are you going to tie me up, too? Lock me away in a room? Call me cargo?”
Castle made to speak.
I’ll never know what he was going to say to me. I’ll always hope he was going to tell me that he loved me, and that he would never do anything like that to me. I wanted him to pull me closer and say that it would all be all right.
But whatever it is he was going to say was silenced. It was drowned out by a sudden knock at the door.
26.
Castle’s guarded eyes stayed on me; Leo opened the door.
“What do you want?” said Leo curtly. Whoever was at the door, Leo didn’t like. His sharp voice gave him away. “You should be on watch.”
“I am. I was.” I recognised Zoe’s voice, barely. In front of Leo, her hurt shined through her tone. I suddenly thought that maybe I’d misunderstood her. “Charlotte’s taken over for my break.”
Leo just stared at her. I couldn’t see her in the doorway, but I imagined what I would do under his cold, emotionless stare. I would shift on the spot, tug at my sleeves and kick the dirt.
Is she as weak as I am?
“What is it, Zoe?” snapped Leo.
“Did you find Winter?” she asked.
I blinked and tore my gaze from Leo to Castle; he was staring at me, still.
Zoe was asking after me—was she concerned about me? Scared for me?
“She’s right here,” said Leo. “Why?”
“I need a word with her. It’ll only take a few minutes.”
Leo slammed the door in her face. At least, that’s what I’d thought would happen. He shocked me when he leaned away from the door and gestured for me to come over.
As I approached, I frowned at Castle; he followed me with his gaze, so empty of the man I’d known.
“Make it quick,” said Leo. His moss-green eyes were on me; the warning in them was clear. He leaned closer as I passed and whispered, “You’re not a prisoner, Winter. But if you try to run, I won’t allow it—be smart.”
What he should’ve said was, I don’t want to call you a prisoner, Winter, but you really are a prisoner and I’m a hypocritical assface.
It could be worse. I could be tied to a bed.
I looked at Zoe. She smiled, a tight gesture, when she saw me. As I plodded down the steps towards her, she stepped back.
Leo gripped the door handle and made to shut it behind me. But the door didn’t close. He stopped, frozen for an eternal second. Castle jumped forward, but he was too late—a cry had already torn through me as Zoe whipped out her gun and aimed it at my head.
Castle and Leo reached for their guns; they stilled when Zoe snatched my hair and dragged me to the ground. The barrel of her handgun pushed against my skull; no matter how many times that happened to me, I never got used to it.
My voice came out in rattled breaths; “What are you doing, Zoe?”
“Be quiet,” she hissed, one hand tangled in my hair, the other aiming her gun at my head. “If you touch your weapons,” she said, looking at Leo and Castle, “I’ll blow a hole through her fucking face.”
A shiver ran down me. I shuddered on my knees in front of Zoe. My hands hovered in the air, too afraid to touch ground. But this time, I didn’t cry. I don’t think I had tears left to shed.
“Get out,” demanded Zoe. “Hands up, move slow.”
Summer’s voice rang in my mind—‘move slowly.’ I don’t know why I thought of that when I had a maniac holding a gun to my head.
Leo’s boots hit the dirt. He had his hands clasped on top of his head. Castle came out after him, hands held up. Zoe had laughed when I’d told her about Summer. She’d said to me that she understood—she understood why Castle had taken to me. She knew I was valuable to the defected deltas, now. And that made me her target. I’d walked right into it.
“What is it you want, Zoe?” asked Castle. He appeared bored, distant even, as though he didn’t care if I died or not. But he did care, I knew it, even if it were only a sterile protection, he needed me. “Is it revenge?”
“Could your ego be any bigger?” she spat. “I want the cargo.”
Over my laboured breathing, I heard a horde of footsteps crunching against the crisp grass. Some footsteps moved faster; slapping against patted dirt. With my hands up, I strained my eyes to the corners, trying to see who the footsteps belonged to—I couldn’t see anyone.
“We have visitors.” Leo’s eyelashes lowered to dangerous slits. He glowered steadily at Zoe. “Friends of yours?”
“We were once your friends, too,” said Zoe. Her hand untangled from my hair. “Until you decided to risk the cargo and destroy the whole mission for yourselves. This is bigger than us—it’s about all of humanity, whatever’s left of it.”
“One CDC is no better than another,” said Castle.
“Atlanta is closer!” she barked. “It’s where we were told to deliver the cargo. We have communications, we have a chance!” The gun pressed harder into my skull; an ache grew there. “DC has been offline—and you both know that even with the living quarters there, there isn’t enough room for this entire group.”
I frowned.
Why would we pick up so many survivors on the road if there wasn’t room for them when we got to DC? How would they choose who gets to live in the CDC and who has to turn around?
Leo had once told me; The group will prove their value when we reach DC. You make out that I’m a better man than what I am.
“The whole group doesn’t need to be accommodated,” I whispered. Zoe booted my leg to silence me. But I gaped up at Leo; “You were going to use them as test subjects, weren’t you? You said they had their value—and to get a vaccine, it needs human trials. That’s their value.”
“I won’t lie,” said Leo. “You’re much smarter than I thought you were.”
Zoe tucked her fingers into her mouth and whistled; it pierced through the still air and stung me ears. I winced.
“This is for the best,” she said. “For the better of this world.”
The footsteps I’d heard before suddenly burst through the lot. Armed civilians materialised from all over. Some came running out of the trees, green paint smeared across their clothes and skin; others rolled out from under the cars, guns held to their chests. How long had they been hiding there, waiting for the sound of the whistle? How had they breached the perimeter without us noticing?
Zoe had been on watch; she’d let them infiltrate us. It struck me all at once. How could I not have realised it before? All those trips to the woods for ‘toilet breaks’, her habit of talking to herself, volunteering to go on watch on this very evening, her warnings to me … She’d been keeping the true deltas informed the whole time, planning this very moment.
A man in black gear came around the side. He approached from behind Zoe, a rifle tucked against his torso. “Good work,” he said. I craned my neck to watch him. He was older, maybe he was the sergeant? His peachy hair was cropped to his skull, showing a balding patch at the crown. He looked down at me before shooting Zoe a questioning look.
“No civilians,” he said.
Zoe grabbed my arm and hauled me to my feet. My hands stayed up, above my shoulders, and I kept my gaze on Leo’s boots. The gun slipped from my head before something hit my back. She pushed me.
I staggered and waited for the gun to go off.
“Go,” she said. I frowned and looked over my shoulder. Zoe waved her gun, shooing me. “Go. You’re safer on your own than with these two. Trust me.”
As I lowered my hands to my sides, I gazed at her and stepped back. “Thank you,” I said.
Zoe raised her eyebrows, but she still focused the gun on Castle. Leo slid his hands from his head, using the distraction. I didn’t want to be a part of what was about to happen. Before I went, I glanced at Castle and Leo. Castle stared at Zoe; Leo met my gaze for a moment, and in that moment he nodded. The gesture told me to listen to Zoe, to run away and save myself.
I hesitated. For a fleeting moment, my tummy jolted and my heart fluttered—did he care after all? Then, it hit me; he’d rather have me alive to hunt later, than dead and no use to him.
I left him behind. I ran away.
The others swarmed the lot. Armed men and women were pressed against the outside walls of the building, like statues. A few—deltas, I guessed—had climbed on top of the roof where they scoped the area.
My boots skidded against the dirt as one woman on the roof pointed her sniper at me. I held up my hands and froze. They wouldn’t let me go inside where I could warn the others. They wanted a quick, quiet transaction with as little bloodshed as possible. They were the good group.
But my Cleo was in there. I wanted my bag, my dog, and my freedom. I needed the Jeep in the garage—its supplies would last me the whole trip to DC. I needed to get there before anyone else could.
I could do all of that—if a sniper didn’t stand in my way.
A click caught my attention. My head spun to the side; my wild eyes rested on a civilian. She clicked her fingers at me, summoning me over. I looked back at the sniper. Her hand lifted and pointed to the side—ordering me to get out of the way. I did; I scurried over to the civilian who crouched beside the pick-up truck.
As I slid to the ground beside her and tucked my knees to my chest, I washed my gaze over the civilian. She was in her thirties, I guessed, and a scar distorted her face—it ran from her eyebrow, across her nose, to her jaw. It was a scar that made me think of a knife-attack.
“You’re Winter, aren’t you?” she whispered.
My brows crinkled as I nodded.
“Stay down,” she said. “Stay out of the way—we’ll let you go.”
I must’ve still been frowning at her. She glanced at me before she said, “Zoe told us. She said you were a victim of their lies, like the rest of the civilians.”
“Leo and Castle?” I asked in a whisper.
She nodded. “We don’t want anyone to get hurt. We’re just here for the payload.”
Before I could respond, her hand waved, shushing me.
We sat there, crouched beside the pick-up truck for what felt like hours. But really, it was only ten minutes or so. I don’t know why it was taking so long—maybe Castle and Leo were negotiating with their ex-sergeant? Perhaps the rest of ‘the others’ had to wait for their orders before acting.
All I had to do was sit there, be quiet, and wait it out. Then, I could get Cleo and leave. I would never look back. I would never join another group. I would stay by myself until I found my sister. It’s how it was always meant to be. Just Cleo, Summer and me.
As I waited, my gaze flickered down to my holster often. I had my gun and knife. That would be enough if things took a bad turn. I wouldn’t fight unless I had to.
I was beginning to think I wouldn’t have to, that no fight was coming. That changed when the shop’s backdoor swung open. Everyone went still; quiet. The shadow in the doorway couldn’t see the others—they were all hidden. Even I gazed at the doorway through the windows of another truck. But I recognised the shadow—it was Adam. He was likely checking on Leo and Castle or coming out to switch watch.
My wide eyes drifted to the woman beside me.
She saw it in my eyes.
She read what they were telling her; she lifted her rifle and cocked it.
Adam would fight.
27.
Adam roamed his eyes around the lot. His gaze flicked between the dead grass, quiet RVs, and silent trees. Looking back, I’m not certain what I wanted—if I wanted Adam to realise and rally the troops, or turn around and walk back inside.
Leo and Castle weren’t who I thought they were. But I didn’t know this other group. It’s like Summer used to say, ‘If you have no choice but to dance with a devil, choose the devil you know.’ But I would not dance with anyone. I am loyal to neither, I said to myself. As it should be. In this world, you should only ever be loyal to yourself. If I stuck to that advice from the start, I wouldn’t be in this situation.
Adam moved. A collective tension crashed down upon me. It was almost as though I could hear everyone’s heartbeats catch in their breaths. I waited, staring at the door of the truck. Looking back at me was my reflection; bloodshot eyes, cheeks wet with tears, hair in a tangled mop from Zoe’s handling. Each time I caught myself in a mirror or car door, I looked like hell.
I shifted onto my knees and rose slightly. It brought me eye-level to the window of the truck. My gaze pierced through to the doorway. Adam’s head turned—a sharp movement, and he looked right at me.
I was flattened to the ground. The woman beside me had yanked me back down. I lay still, looking underneath the truck—Adam’s boots moved back into the house and the door shut behind him. Then, silence again. Nothing happened.
Adam saw me, I’m sure of it. My mind spiralled, trying to track his train of thought. Would he alert the others inside? Did he pretend to be oblivious to buy him time? And then, I thought of the Jeep. It was in the garage, still packed with the supplies that Castle and I collected. There were guns in the boot of the Jeep. It was in the garage as an emergency vehicle, accessible via the cellar. Is that where he was going?
It made sense, I thought. He was rallying the troops inside.
I stayed flattened to the dirt. The very second that the war broke out, I would slide underneath the pick-up truck and take cover.
“Did he see you?” whispered the woman. Her voice had an edge, one of fear.
I lied; my head shook as I said, “I don’t think—”
Gunfire swallowed up my words.
I barely had enough time to curl my arms over my head before the blasts took over. I peeked up at the woman—she wasn’t firing. She looked just as startled as I did.
A man’s groan followed the blasts. The gunfire ceased. It was curt, short—and came
from the RVs.
A woman cried out. I jerked upwards and looked through the window of the pick-up truck. Zoe came sprinting around the RV, her arms flailing at her sides as she sped down the lot. I had her in my sights for a mere second before another gunshot tore through the air—Zoe was thrown off her feet before she crumbled to the dirt. She didn’t get back up.
I couldn’t see who shot her. No one moved. There was total silence.
My muscles tensed, prepared for what was about to happen—they clenched within me, knowing that the silence would shatter within seconds. And it did.
An eruption of gunfire exploded through the lot. Like rainfall, bullets fell down on all of us. The bullets sprayed from all directions. They were aimed at the RVs, at the deltas taking cover there.
I’ve been shot before. I don’t think luck would let me survive a second time. Digging my fingers into the dirt, I dragged myself under the car and twisted around. The view from under the pick-up to the steps at the backdoor was direct. My neck craned and my head rested on my forearms as I stared at the steps—waiting for someone to run down them. I expected hordes of shoe-clad feet piling down the steps, but there weren’t any. There was no doubt that they could hear the gunfire from the inside of the shop, they could hear the blasts and the bullets ricocheting off of car bonnets. But no one came out.
With a grunt, I twisted the other way—away from the woman shooting over the hood of the pick-up. I doubted she’d noticed that I’d crawled away. On my belly, I wriggled out from under the car to the next pick-up. It was the one that reminds me of Leo; the faded blue, chipped paint, stagnant scent of stale cigarettes.
I tucked my body and rolled under the blue pick-up. As I lay on my back, I gazed up at the pipes of the car and caught my breath. Stray bullets hit the dirt and the metal of the car; I flinched each time. But unless a bullet hit the gas tank, I was safe under there. At least until I had the courage to move again—further away from the shooters.