The Poison Within

by Rachel Marie Pearcy

  “You’ll never win,” she hissed, tightening her hold. She summoned every ounce of power she had, joyous at the red glow of his skin under her grip.

  “We—will—see,” he gurgled. His face started to fade, the rich brown color dulling before her eyes. She squeezed harder, mixing the strength of her magic with her own muscles, driving him closer to death with each second passing.

  She sensed the blade entering her flesh before its sting could register in her mind. The pain exploded from her thigh, and she staggered backwards a few steps before falling. She rested on her hands, trying to ignore the blood seeping from her leg, but the drops were coloring the dirt with her defeat. Nix knelt where she’d dropped him, holding the two-inch silver blade he’d had hidden in his boot. His color and smile had returned, and Rya screamed as she cursed.

  Her fingers twitched, and her magic raged to an inferno. Her newly healed wrist cracked under the pressure of her magic, and her energy was being eaten with each second that passed. She had only one more chance, and she had to take it now.

  Another pain erupted from her palm, and for a moment Rya thought her own power had finally consumed her body. The sight of the knife protruding from her hand told her she was wrong. Nix had thrown the dagger at her only weapon, sinking the blade into the center of her palm with such force that it came out the other side.

  “Let’s end this,” Nix spat.

  He grabbed one of the swords from his comrade, Thane’s sword, and held it hovering inches from her the base of her neck. He was watching with wide eyes, breathing in her fear. This was it. This was how she would die, at the hand of a hired man, surrounded by those who gave everything to help her.

  Rya would never forget the squish of the skin and the smell of the blood. Nix’s eyes lost their glow, and his body slacked. Cam’s hand was still wrapped around the shaft of the arrow she’d drove into his neck, her hands soaked in red. She let go as he dropped to his knees.

  “You’re a fool,” he breathed, barely audible, clinging to the last moments of his life. “You’ll never change her.”

  “That’s the thing,” Cam replied, “I never wanted to.”

  The assassin slumped to the ground. His blood spread across the dirt, staining the blades of grass that edged the area. Cam raised her arrow at the next assassin, surprised to find that he was helping Thane off the ground.

  “We have no business here,” the lady explained. She’d released Norell and was helping her limping partner walk away. “Nix was supposed to complete his job, and he did not. The Kael do not fail; therefore, he was not truly one of us.”

  The assassins disappeared into the same brush they’d come from, leaving the battered group alone to tend their wounds.

  Thirty-Eight

  “It’s nothing,” Rya insisted. She was trying to keep a brave face, but the pain of removing the knife from her hand was too much to bare. She’d almost thrown up when Thane yanked it free, and had to keep her head turned while Norell bandaged it. The gash on her thigh wasn’t as bad, but it did require sitting through some rough stitches. She tried to remind herself that they all had injuries, they all had new scars to add to their body.

  Norell proved to be the biggest asset after the fight. The young woman didn’t make a sound as she stitched up her own leg, wincing only once as she tested its strength after. Seconds later, she was dashing around, tending to everyone else and ignoring her own pain. Sora trailed behind her, handing over whatever she needed, and acting as her assistant. Rya knew the boy was worried, but as long as he kept busy, he wouldn’t give in to it. He was no stranger to a beating, but the sight of Rya’s blood upset him, and he needed a distraction.

  Gavin cringed as his fingers traced the edges of his new stitches.

  “You’ll get used to it,” Rya said, pointing to the pink scar above her brow. “You’re lucky it’s above your ear, once it heals you can grow your hair out over it. No one will ever see it.”

  “I won’t do that,” he replied. “I’m tired of hiding my scars. They are marks of where I’ve been, and they are nothing to be ashamed of.” He reached out, brushing his thumb over the raised skin she’d pointed to. “If you hide the trials you’ve been through, how will anyone know how far you’ve come?”

  As he walked away her insides twisted. She watched him talking to Sora, placing a comforting hand on the boy’s shoulder. Thane stroked Norell’s cheek, and he offered her his usual sweet smile. A few feet away, Nix’s body rested where he’d fallen. He looked so young in the moonlight, like the child he was before the Kael stole his innocence. Cam was close by, reloading the last of their supplies onto the horses. The idea of sleeping on that patch of ground for the night was too much for any of them.

  Rya crossed the space, looking once at Thane. In that split second, he knew, and he gave her a subtle nod as if to say “I understand.” She took Cam’s hand, leading her a few feet from the rest of them. She wanted to keep the others in sight, she knew Cam would need them after it was over.

  “We’re almost ready to go,” Cam said, confused. “We’ll be tired, but I’ll feel better being far from this place.”

  “Cam,” she whispered. Her courage was shaky, but she forced it to hold. “Cam, you can’t come with me.”

  “What,” she laughed. “You’re joking, right?”

  “I’m sorry, but you need to return to the Ashen Forest. I can’t have you come to the Isles.”

  Her smile dropped, her eyes searching for any sign that it wasn’t true. “No,” Cam argued. “I won’t let you go.”

  The tears began streaming down Rya’s face. Cam reached up and tried to wipe them away as she started to cry as well.

  “You’re under my protection,” the princess replied. “I swore I’d keep you safe, remember? You can’t leave me now. You need me.”

  She pressed her forehead against Cam’s and closed her eyes. The words would come now, and she couldn’t look at Cam’s face as she said them.

  “I had a plan,” she explained. She knew the others could hear her, but she didn’t care. “When I made the deal with Gavin back at the cape, I knew the only way out of it would be to kill him, but I can’t do that now. I don’t know what Gavin’s choice will be, or if the people will have the justice they’re calling for, but I can tell you I’m not afraid. All my courage and strength come from your love. I’ve spent my entire life in a cage, beaten and twisted into what someone else envisioned. They all wanted me to be what they created, but you only wanted me to be myself. While the rest of the world wanted to keep me locked up, you set me free. I never thought I would love anyone, or be worthy of love, until you showed me it was possible. You saved me, Cam. No matter what happens after this, remember that you saved me.”

  “You can’t—can’t give in like that,” the princess cried.

  “I’m not giving in,” Rya replied. She forced herself to look into Cam’s eyes. Her heart pounded against her ribs, and with each second that passed more of her soul shattered like glass. The sharp edges tore through her organs, cutting deep grooves throughout her body. “I am fighting, it’s just a different battle than you want it to be. I can’t live my life in hiding, and I’m tired of running. I need to make things right for Gavin, and for Sora. It’s my fault that they’ve been through so much, and this is my chance to fix that. I need to prove that the love you have for me is justified, and that I deserve it. When the time comes, I’ll stand before the people of the Isles and take whatever punishment Gavin chooses to give, knowing that I’ve done everything I could have done to redeem myself.”

  “Let me come with you.”

  “No,” Rya argued. “You have a life to return to. People need you. Norell and Thane need you to get them back to the forest. Your father needs you, and Eirik needs you. Don’t forget they are waiting for your return. You mean so much to them. Besides, we both know you will never stand by and watch me be punished, and I won’t risk you getting in trouble trying to save me. I don’t want you to see that. You found s
omething in me that no one else bothered to look for. You’ve unlocked a part of my soul I thought was long dead, and I want you to remember me as I am now when we’re together, and not as I will be alone in my final moments.”

  Cam hiccupped. “No—this can’t be it.”

  “You have to let me go. I’m ready to be my true self. I’m ready to be free.” Rya wept. “I love you, Cam. I love you with everything I have. Thank you for showing me who I truly am inside.”

  Rya leaned in and, through the wetness of their tears, kissed her one last time. She turned her back just as Cam collapsed sobbing on the ground, but she couldn’t comfort her. Norell was already moving towards the princess, ready to do what she always did. She placed a gentle touch on Rya’s shoulder as they passed, a simple gesture that said everything Norell couldn’t.

  “Here, take Eclipse.” Thane was handing her the reins. His smile was still present, but his tears kept it from reaching his cheeks. “We can’t send you into the Isles on foot.”

  “Thank you,” she whispered. Her voice was as broken as her heart.

  “I’ll make sure he gets back to you,” Gavin added. His face was the only one not tear stained in that moment, but Rya finally recognized the young man in him she’d known before. His look was tender, full of kindness, and she knew she’d made the right choice.

  She hoisted herself into the saddle, keeping her head down while Sora situated himself behind her. His thin arms wrapped around her waist, trying to ease her pain though he knew it was hopeless. She clicked her tongue, and Eclipse started to walk.

  In that last moment the only sound that reached her ears was Cam’s voice, calling to her with the only words she ever needed.

  “I love you, Rya! I always will.”

  Walls Down

  They’d been riding non-stop for hours, and it had been years since Gavin had been forced to do that. He was used to working on a boat in the middle of the Nestian Ocean, which required a different type of balance, and he wasn’t used to the pain in his legs the saddle was providing. It didn’t help that his head was still foggy from the night before. Thankfully they’d found a stream flowing along the path, and an old stump near the water’s edge that he claimed it before anyone else could.

  Trava was known for its crops, but that also meant it lacked a lot of shade and the sun was starting to wear on him. He wiped the sweat from his neck, while the others led their horses to quench their thirst.

  “It’s a lot different than being up north, isn’t it?” Thane had appeared next to him, gathering his hair back into a bun. “It’s usually starting to frost in the Ashen Forest. I miss that right now.”

  Gavin nodded, but Thane didn’t see it. He was too busy watching the stream. Cam had a hold of Rya’s arm, and was desperately trying to drag her into the flowing water. Rya struggled against the princess, laughing too hard to really fight back. Their feet dipped into the cold and Cam screamed. Norell came out from behind the horses, hands on her hips, glaring at the pair of them.

  “Do you really have to act so childish?” She asked in a huff.

  Gavin caught the look between the two before Norell had a chance. They rushed towards her, each grabbing one of the arms and pulled her with them into the flowing brook.

  “Sora,” she cried out, “help me.”

  But the boy sat on the edge of the path and laughed while they continued to drag her into the water.

  “You’ll be sorry,” Norell shrieked. Her toes were already wet, but they were still pulling and laughing. Even Norell was giggling between her threats and arguments.

  Everything happened so fast it was hard to say who was at fault. One minute they were standing upright, the next they were falling. Before anyone could blink the trio of girls had landed face first in the stream. Thane was cringing next to him, which wasn’t a good sign.

  Norell stood up, soaking wet from head to toe and still standing in six inches of water. Cam and Rya were still sitting in the stream, afraid to move. Norell flipped the wet locks from her face and shook her head.

  “You both need a babysitter.” Laughter burst from Norell’s mouth, and a second later the rest of them had joined in with their own.

  She helped the other two up from the stream and they walked to the road to ring out their clothing as best as they could.

  “Good news is they’ll dry quickly in this warmth,” Thane smiled. “They won’t have a damp piece of clothing by the time we reach the plains.” He looked down at Gavin’s thoughtful face and paused. “Something on your mind?

  “I don’t understand,” Gavin said, shaking his head. “I’ve never seen her so relaxed.”

  “Who, Rya?”

  “Yes. When we were back in the Isles I remember her being calm and collected, but I can’t say I ever heard her laugh before—even when she seemed happy. With the stories they tell I can’t imagine she’s done much laughing since I’ve left either.”

  “I don’t know that she’s had much reason to,” Thane replied. “I don’t know all her past, but I’ve heard bits of it from her, and from Cam. If I were Rya, I would find it hard to muster a smile some days, let alone allow myself to enjoy anything.”

  “You all really care about her, don’t you?”

  “Yes, we do. Not just because Cam likes her, and not because she’s a queen, but because she’s a joy to be around when she’s not worrying about her impending death.”

  “You’re a good man, Thane,” Gavin nodded. “You all must be amazing people to be able to see past her actions, and care about the person underneath.”

  “Thanks,” Thane replied. He walked back towards the horses, but Gavin stayed seated on his stump.

  “A good man,” he repeated to himself. “Or an extremely foolish one.”

  Thirty-Nine

  Night had almost passed them by but still they rode. It wasn’t the eager pace of the day before, but a slow walk that’s only purpose was to put space between Rya and the piece of her heart she’d left behind.

  “The sun’s coming up,” Gavin pointed out. “Maybe we should rest for a bit.”

  “Sure,” she nodded. Nix had taken her energy, and Cam her emotion. There was no fight left in her, and that wasn’t how she wanted to meet Kasen.

  They stopped the horses and started setting up a small campsite. Sora moved like a rabbit, quickly jumping from one task to the next. He’d learned everything they’d needed from watching the others, and now that they were gone, he took on all their duties himself.

  Rya sat on her blankets staring over the sea in the distance. The sun was coming up over the water, dulled by the low fog that hung over the Isles’ mornings. Her new wounds ached, but it was nothing compared to the pain pounding in her heart.

  “I can’t find wood for a fire,” Sora said, kicking the ground.

  “Come here.” She waved him towards her with a forced smile. “You can lay with me.”

  He climbed under her blanket, and curled up next to her. She laid her arm over him, using her body like armor to protect him, but she couldn’t shield him for herself. The reveal of her plan, and the decision to let Gavin live was a blow to him. He followed her now, knowing that he too would lose her. She squeezed him tighter.

  Sleep came easy, it was the dreams that were hard. Flashes of Nix and his daggers. The image of Cam’s face. Thane’s easy smile. Norell’s eye roll. They were all torture. Every time Rya’s eyes flew open it was a little brighter outside, contrasting the dark ghosts that haunted her sleep.

  “Are you alright?” Gavin was sitting around a small smoking pile of grass and bits of wood.

  “Yes, I’m fine,” she lied.

  “I think we need to take a day here. You were just stabbed in the leg, and my head is killing. We aren’t in any condition to charge in there, swords waving.”

  Rya nodded. Sora was still asleep at her side, and she slide out careful not to disturb him.

  “You got the fire going,” she mentioned, motioning to the sad pile of burning debris. />
  “As much as I could. I remembered the shore usually has driftwood. I wanted to get more, but I didn’t want you to wake and think I’d run off.”

  “It wouldn’t surprise me if you did. I admitted I’d planned on killing you and usually enough to send someone running the other way.”

  “I always knew that was a risk I was taking,” he joked. “Did you mean what you said?” He asked in a more serious tone. “You’re going to abide by whatever decision I make?”

  “Yes, as long as you promise me one thing—Sora will be kept safe. If I have your word that he’ll be alright, I won’t fight you. I understand the position you’ll be in. I know you’ll want to listen to your subjects, especially after being gone for so long.”

  “No thanks to you,” he added. “But I can promise you I’ll take care of Sora. He’s a good kid with a big heart, and he’s quite the little fighter.”

  “Thank you.” A small weight lifted from her shoulders. It didn’t matter what her future held, her family would be safe.

  Gavin stroked the fire with a thin stick. “I’m sorry. I know leaving them wasn’t easy for you, I can see now how much they mean to you, and I’m sorry that I doubted it before.”

  She felt the urge to cry again but the tears wouldn’t come, they were all dried up.

  “We were supposed to be married,” he continued. “I imagine that would be torture for you.”

  “Why’s that?”

  “If you love Cam like that, how could you have been happy about marrying me.”

  “Why not?” She shrugged. “I’ve never been particular about men versus women. I see the beauty in both.”

  “Do you think you would have loved me? If I hadn’t left, do you think you would have felt for me what you feel for her?”

  “I’m not sure. You were a sweet boy, with a kind heart. You were always soft-spoken and calm, and your voice reassured me that everything would be alright, but you wanted to be everything everyone wanted from you. That was your downfall. I found your innocence and gentle nature endearing, but as you know your father disagreed. He tried to beat it out of you, and had you remained in the Isles, he may have succeeded. You may have bent to his will, and if that had happened I would have hated you.”