Zombie Rules (Book 3): ZFINITY

by David Achord

  “What about the other couple?”

  “This is the weird part. Almost six months after the outbreak, the woman turned and attacked her husband. Jessica’s dad killed both of them,” Andie said.

  I was perplexed. How did she turn six months after the initial outbreak, when everything I knew about the stuff, which was limited, indicated once someone was exposed, they became infected within hours. Maybe she somehow came into contact with something.

  “Jessica’s pretty,” Julie said, interrupting my thoughts. “She reminds me of Macie.”

  I glanced at her as I drove. She was staring wistfully out the window, then looked over at me and smiled sadly.

  “I bet Terry’s trying to get in her pants already,” Andie quipped.

  As we approached Nolensville Pike, I spotted four zombies shambling around in the parking lot of a grocery store.

  “I swear to God,” Andie declared, “every time we think we’ve cleared this area, more of the stinking bastards show up.”

  I had to agree. “They’re too close to our travel route for my comfort, let’s take care of them.”

  I stopped the truck, and we took turns shooting them with the quiet Marlin rifle. After the last one dropped. I carefully walked up to them and inspected them for anything special. I don’t know what I was looking for, but did it anyway. There was nothing I had not seen before. One of them, a possibly middle aged man, was wearing a Rolex watch. It was a nice one, but I didn’t need it.

  “I’ll come back and burn them tomorrow. Let’s go home,” I said and started the truck.

  I was silent through dinner. Julie would look at me questioningly a few times, but I only responded with a slight shake of my head. Later, while we were in bed, I told her.

  “Did you ever watch any of those cop shows on TV?” I asked.

  “Sure, why do you ask?”

  “My grandmother absolutely loved NCIS. She watched every episode and never got tired of the reruns,” I paused for a moment. “There was one episode, I was barely paying attention, but I caught the gist of it. It involved someone being suffocated. During the autopsy, the doctor discovered evidence of petechial hemorrhage.”

  “What is petechial hemorrhage?” Julie asked.

  “It’s when the small capillaries burst under pressure. When someone is strangled or suffocated, red spots will appear on the eyeballs. Those two sick people had them.”

  Julie sat up. “Somebody strangled them?”

  “There were no marks on their throats,” I said quietly, “but it seems awfully coincidental that both of them died at the same time and both of them have the same signs. I think they were suffocated, like with a pillow over their face or something similar.”

  “Who did it?” she asked.

  “I’ve no idea.”

  “Holy shit,” she exclaimed quietly, “what are we going to do?” she asked after a moment.

  “I’m not sure, but for now, let’s keep this to ourselves. We’ll discuss it with Fred tomorrow and see what he thinks should be done about it.”

  I rolled over and put my arms around her. “I hope I’m wrong,” I whispered, but I knew better.

  I was out of the house before sunrise, got the zombie corpses stacked and burning, and was sitting in the cab of my truck on the bridge as the sun came up. I watched the thing watch me with those soulless, black eyes, as I sipped some hot coffee from my thermos. He had not moved very much from yesterday. He still had the blanket wrapped around him, sitting there without a rational thought in the world. He and I watched the sun come up together, although I’m fairly certain neither of us found it in the least bit romantic.

  I got out and was about to reach for my rifle when I heard the faint chime of a bell ringing. Looking around, I spotted Ward and Marc riding up on a tandem bicycle. Ward rang the bell again and waved at about the same time I heard a grunt behind me. The zombie had stood now, and there was a small amount of drool sliding down his chin.

  “Good morning, Zach,” Ward said cheerily. “What a pleasant surprise.” The two men parked their bicycle and got off. Marc untied a shoebox off the back.

  “Where did you find the bicycle?” I queried.

  “It was in the storage room in the church. Isn’t it lovely?”

  I nodded and watched as Marc set the box down, and then used a stick to slide it toward the cage. The zombie reached out and grabbed it. Tearing off the string which was wrapped around it, he lifted the lid of the box and a large rat appeared. It almost escaped, but the zombie managed to grab it and sink its teeth into it. I almost felt sorry for the rodent when it squealed in pain as he bit down, piercing the rat’s hide and breaking its spine. Marc and Ward grinned broadly.

  “Did you notice how he anticipated getting fed?” Ward asked.

  So, that explained the drool. He saw them, or heard the bell, and it triggered a Pavlov type response.

  After it ate most of the rat, Ward used a canteen to pour water in a bowl and slid it over with the stick. The zombie looked at us a moment, and then reached for the bowl.

  “We’re having some real success here, Zach.”

  I pointed to the five or six Tupperware bowls sitting inside the cage. “Too bad you can’t teach him how to give the bowls back.”

  “Give us time,” Marc responded with a wink.

  I sighed. “I don’t think so fellows. The more I think about this, the more I believe we’ve made a mistake. We need to kill it,” I declared. Approximately one second after I said it, the two men looked at me in shock.

  “But you can’t!” Ward countered.

  “Tell me why,” I responded. He literally shook and sputtered before he was able to come up with an answer.

  “It is a he, and he is a sentient being,” Ward asserted while pointing at it. “We are only now starting to tap into his intellect and need time to conduct more tests in order to understand him fully,” he emphasized with a huff.

  I shook my head slowly.

  “He used to be a sentient being, but not anymore, and, you two are not conducting tests so much as training him to do tricks. He’s not a pet. He’s not something that can be tamed. He’s a demented monster.”

  Ward shook his head vigorously. “Maybe once, when he was sick, but he’s healing now. If you kill him, it will be tantamount to murder.”

  “No, guys, you’re wrong. Sure he’s healing, there is no doubt in my mind these things are evolving and changing, but what happens when he is healed, Ward? Does he become a peace loving member of society? Does his desire to attack and eat humans somehow disappear? I don’t think so.” I pointed at the remains of the rat. “There’s a good example, right there.”

  “I disagree with your position, Zach,” Ward contended, “we disagree.”

  I looked at Marc. He responded with a slow, somber nod, and declared his opinion on the matter by reaching out and holding Ward’s hand. I sighed deeply.

  “Guys, you’re wrong. You’re dead wrong. There is no cure with this disease. You two have learned a lot from this thing, but you’ve overlooked something very important,” I stepped closer to the zombie, unscrewed the cap on my thermos and tossed the rest of my hot coffee in his face. He didn’t flinch, but instead clawed at the cage.

  “Did he react like a human just now? Did he flinch in pain? Nope, he didn’t react in a way a human would because he’s not a human anymore. I’m no doctor, I don’t have the education or experience that you two have, but I’m telling you guys, these things are monsters.”

  Ward and Marc stared at me as if I had committed an egregious act of sin. I shook my head at their refusal to grasp the obvious. “You two have the rest of the day to do whatever it is you’re going to do. Tomorrow morning, I’m going to put him out of his misery with a bullet to his head, and then I’m going to burn his corpse.”

  I didn’t wait for a reply. As I drove off, I looked in my rearview mirror. The two men appeared to be talking to the zombie. It gave me a sour stomach.

  As I drove by the
gated entrance to the Governor’s Club, I spotted the Thompson’s Land Cruiser moving slowly down the hill from their house, so I stopped and waited for them. When they got close, they stopped and Jessica rolled down her window.

  “Good morning, everyone,” I said, with as much cheer as I could muster.

  “Hi, Zach,” Jessica replied with a tentative smile, “we’re going to the radio tower.”

  “They’re up and about,” I replied. “I’m sure they’ll welcome the company, but I have a better idea. Why don’t y’all follow me home and join us for breakfast instead?”

  The three of them huddled together and had a brief conversation. Jessica looked back at me with another smile. “Lead the way.”

  As expected, they were in awe of the bacon, eggs, and coffee.

  “This brings back memories,” Janine said between mouthfuls.

  “We try hard, but unfortunately, we’re running out of coffee. We’re going to have to find another coffee shop to raid,” I slid a jar of honey toward her. “Those eggs taste really good with a healthy dollop of this,” I said casually. The three of them gasped in unison. Julie and Andie chuckled.

  Fred, Tommy, and Joe, came in a few minutes later and joined us. Tommy ran in, kissed his sister sloppily and dragged a chair up to the table.

  “Tommy is Julie’s little brother,” I explained. “Fred and Joe met in West Memphis, and Fred brought him home. They all live together now.”

  Fred took his cowboy hat off, set it on the kitchen counter, and ruffled Andie’s hair before he sat down. Andie responded by rolling her eyes at him.

  “Are Terry and Rowdy joining us this morning?” he asked.

  Andie shook her head. “They went to the school. Those two idiots are on the prowl.”

  Julie giggled. “If those women knew what a stud Zach and Fred are, they’d be here every day,” she finished off a piece of bacon and smiled sweetly. “Oh, by the way, my sexy husband must have Superman sperm, I’m pregnant again.”

  I froze with a forkful of eggs halfway up to my mouth. The expression on everyone’s faces told me I wasn’t the last one to find out, for a change. Fred reached out and offered his hand. As I shook it, everyone offered their congratulations. Julie beamed as I muttered my thanks and wondered if there was any alcohol in the house.

  I took a deep breath and looked at my son, who was happily munching on something. “Did you hear that? You’re going to have a little brother.”

  Julie reached over and punched me in the arm. “He’s going to have a little sister.”

  I took a cold bath before bed and as I was drying off a thought sprung into my mind. I got a hand mirror, and with the aid of a lamp, hiked one leg up on the bathroom counter and began inspecting my genitalia.

  “What in the world are you doing?” Julie asked. I looked up to see her standing in the doorway staring at me with a puzzled expression.

  “Anogenital distance,” I replied. Julie’s puzzled expression intensified.

  “Oh sure, everyone knows what that is,” she replied sarcastically.

  “It’s the distance from the anus to the base of the penis. I’ve no idea how they came up with the idea, but someone decided to conduct a study. They decided the length of the anogenital distance is linked to fertility in males. Men with a median length of two inches or more tend to be more fertile,” I put my leg down and looked to see if Julie was bored yet.

  “So,” she said as she walked into the bathroom, dropped to her knees, and started inspecting me closely, “you think your anal distance is longer than normal.”

  I was about to correct her verbiage, but before I could, she began fondling me. I felt myself getting aroused and let out an involuntary moan.

  “All I know is when I do this, you get worked up. When you get worked up, I get worked up,” she looked at me coyly before abruptly standing and taking her nightshirt off. As I followed her to bed, I decided my anogenital distance was unimportant.

  Chapter 15 – Jailbreak

  As I drove on Concord Road and came within eyesight of the bridge, I realized something was wrong. The telehandler, along with the cage, were both missing.

  Gone.

  Nowhere to be seen.

  “Shit,” I muttered angrily and accelerated toward the school.

  “Where the hell did the zombie go?” Terry asked.

  “Those two damned psychologists,” I said as an answer.

  The two men were standing at the entrance, waiting for us as we got out of the truck. I was pissed, as in seeing red, I was so pissed. Terry must have sensed it. He ran ahead and then stepped in front of me with his arms out.

  “Zach, I’ve seen you this way before. They’re no match for you, you’ll kill them,” he said in an urgent hushed tone. I stood looking at Terry and realized I was breathing heavily and clenching my fists.

  “Is that what you want to do, Zach? Beat the hell out of us?” Ward had walked out and was now standing a few feet away while Marc remained cowering in the doorway. “It won’t take much, you know we’re not fighters, so go ahead, beat us to a pulp if it will make you feel better.”

  Terry shook his head slowly. It took me a full minute to get my temper under control. Ward stood there also, silently watching me.

  “You want to tell me why you did such an idiotic thing?” I asked.

  Ward had a habit of making a tisking sound with his tongue before he spoke. It was a mannerism which I found annoying, even more so now.

  “Are you familiar with the expression, unconditional positive regard?”

  I replied with a small nod. “A humanistic theory in which it is believed all people need human contact, interaction, and acceptance, and if given a basic support and acceptance of a person, regardless of what they say or do, a person can be treated and change for the better.”

  Ward’s eyes lit up. “Yes, Zach, that’s it exactly! I see you’re familiar with Carl Rogers.”

  “Oh, I’ve read his stuff, and I’ve even read some stuff by Irvin Yalom. They’re both highly intelligent men, no doubt about it.”

  “So you understand then,” Ward said with a small, hopeful smile, “with the proper treatment, we believe we can restore his humanity.”

  I shook my head angrily. “I understand one thing, Ward. When Rogers and Yalom were positing their theories, they were talking about people, real people, not monsters. These things will never get their humanity back. They’re beyond any hope,” when I said it, Ward’s smile vanished and he looked downright heartbroken.

  “Are you going to tell me where you’re hiding him?” I asked. Ward bit his lower lip and shook his head.

  I forced myself to take some slow deep breaths, and nodded. “Alright, I suppose I understand your resolve, but I want you to understand this. If that thing escapes, and he will, you better hope to God that he doesn’t harm any member of my family. In the meantime, it would be best for the two of you not to come anywhere near me. Now, go inside and tell Benny we want to see him.”

  Ward hurried off without replying, and a minute later, Benny came outside. He was followed by Tonya and Carla.

  “Ward said you just threatened him,” he said worriedly.

  “It was a conditional threat, Benny. They think their pet zombie is like a little stray puppy dog that has been abused, and all it needs is love and understanding. I hope you don’t think the same.”

  Benny glanced behind him and shook his head. “Hell no, those things eat people,” he frowned as he looked at me. “I see your face, you think I know where it is,” he shook his head. “I don’t know where it is, Zach.”

  I stared at him for a long ten seconds. Satisfied he was telling the truth, I sighed. “The more I talk about those two, the madder I get, let’s change the subject. How are you guys doing?”

  Benny shrugged. “We’re progressing, slowly but surely. We’re all moved in, but we still have a long way to go. We could also use some more food.”

  “I’d also like a list of your food inventory,” Carla
added.

  “Sure,” Terry responded, “that’ll be no problem.”

  I suppressed a snort of contempt and felt my blood rising again. Our food inventory was none of her business. They looked at me expectantly.

  “We can discuss it, but I’ll have to say this. The last time I ate dinner with you guys, I saw a lot of uneaten food being thrown away. It was blatant wastefulness.”

  I waited for a response from either of them, but instead of expressing regret or any attempt to rationalize their actions, they simply remained quiet.

  “Well, I’m sure we have many issues to discuss,” Terry said. “Perhaps we need to schedule a group meeting. In the meantime, our main reason for coming this morning is to discuss with you guys a project of clearing out any remaining zombies in this immediate area.”

  “I thought you guys had already done it,” Tonya said.

  “We thought so too,” I responded, “but the other evening, when we were going home, we encountered four of the nasty critters in an area we had previously cleared. This is something we need to do for the safety of everyone and we need to do it while it’s still cold. Zombies don’t move very well when it’s cold, which is rule number five by the way. Plus, when spring comes, we’re going to have a lot of work to do with farming and gardening.”

  “Zach wants to triple our crop production,” Terry added.

  “I do, and with everyone pitching in, we can do it. So, the plan is this, we form up a group, go house to house from here all the way back to our farm, and clear every house in between. Terry and I have worked out the details.”

  I reached into the truck and retrieved a map. As I straightened, I saw Marc peeking at us out of one of the windows. The sight of him made me clench my teeth. I was getting angry again.

  “Why don’t y’all go inside where it’s warm and discuss it further. I’m going for a walk and cool down,” I grabbed my rifle and a walkie-talkie. “Shout at me on the radio when you’re ready to go,” I said to Terry, handed the map to him, and walked off without waiting for a response.